Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What is better than a six pint lunch*?* apart from a seven or eight pint lunch?
Alt: best food to soak up beer?
AltAlt: tell me what you like or dislike about me.
Altaltalt: cunt off.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:06,
144 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
a 10L bag of peatI like your hair smell, I dislike net curtains and locked doors
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
Your false sense of self importance(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
Your complete lack of awareness(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
Your problem with the bottle(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
I dunno man, but I've just had a few ciders after finishing an assignment.I'm feeling pret. ty. chilled.
slash drunk.
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:10, Reply)
i like ciderwhat cider do you have over there?
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broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
I was going to point out that your AltAlt is phenomenally poorly-advisedbut Rory seems to be making the point quite nicely without my input.
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:11, Reply)
Nothing wrong with some feedback Cumshot. You ok? (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Can't complain cheers mateNo idea what to get Ms Foxtrot for her birthday, we've only been together a fucking decade so why should I have learned anything about her
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:17, Reply)
You don't have to bother anymore after a decade.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:20,
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You do if you still want to fuck her. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
This man knows whereof he speakseven if he would need a cherry picker to fuck my missus
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:26, Reply)
Surely fucking me is present enough?For my missus as well as yours.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:28,
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Vegetarians can't fuck other vegetariansThe last time that much wrongness coexisted in close physical proximity was back in the Dark Days before S Club Juniors broke up
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:31, Reply)
6 course lunch with wineAlt: pints of cum
Altalt: I like how dinky you are, I dislike how small and ratty you are
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:14,
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I think Rory has adequately answered all the questions here.But I think we'd all like to get to know the real Battered*
*Well, someone might. Anyone?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:14,
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I think you should pay more attention to my altaltalt. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:16,
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The only thing I don't like about my new adopted b3ta home is this alt malarkeyfuck off alts
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broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:17,
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I think one alt is acceptable, if your main question is shit.But Battered is just being greedy here.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:20,
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BbBbBBrRroOaDDSsSSssWoOoRrDDDd!!!!
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
"adopted home"Like the Chinese baby with a brain defect they couldn't sell so they dropped you into the baboon pit
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:29,
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Obvious? Yes.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:24,
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
Also, before and during may soak up booze a little.But afterwards?
I think the damage is already done.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
A five pint lunch with the Pirelli Calendar girls.Alt: Ramen noodles - instant hangover cure too.
AltAlt: I don't know you, but you seem alright to me.
Altaltalt: Why I never!
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)
Did you not research me before you began to participate here? Shame on you. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
This is possibly the friendliest greeting you have ever given a new person.You're just an old softy when you've had a drink.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:31,
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I was just relying on what I saw 'live' - you know, getting the real you - on the fly, spontaneous like?Hold on a sec..........................................
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Nice profile. I have a daughter too!
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:40, Reply)
The afternoon snooze that inevitably followsalt: full English
altaltalt: porn version of Karate Kid?
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)
I like titles of the porn version of films. Particularly The Tale of Two Clitties and the 39 wanks.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
I suspect those aren't real...which is also the title of a porn movie
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:46,
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the boy in no striped pyjamas(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
That's a good one.I'm going to reserve it for a special comedy moment!
and I'll give you due credit of course
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)
That's a homosexual film. So your 'lifestyle' is now known. Darth will be jealous. He's the official OT fag. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
So knowing the title of a gay film makes you gay?This opens up all kinds of possibilities.
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Big nobs and womb sticksClitty, clitty gang bang
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
Hey Battered, The light just blew in the garage, and i had a couple of beers over lunch, so can't drive to get a new bulb, and I'm not going on the bus. Should I
A) just go to the pub and be done with it,
B) knock on the neighbours see if he's got any so i can finish what i was doing
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:35,
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sweet, when the ladypig asks why i'm drunk at 7pm, i'll tell her it's your fault.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:38,
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Please do. Also point out I am several hours ahead of you if it helps. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:40,
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How many is a couple? How strong were they? Do you weigh over 15 stones? Do you still have 2 legs?If you answered 2 st. Omar little stubbies at 3% and you are a bouncer, then drive and get a bulb. If not...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:46,
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Well as I said, two tiny beers for a big chap 3 hours ago would easily have been metabolized by nowSo hop off your soap box rapey
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:50,
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Not worth taking the risk. Regardless of your size, amount of sleep you have had or if you have eaten recently. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:51,
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I am in no way condoning drink drivingAll I'm saying is the liver can metabolise 1 unit per hour, so he could be legal after lunchtime small weak beers.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:55,
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Depends on the individual's liver and when they had last had alcohol prior to these drinks. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:56,
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1 unit an hour is the recognised speedHe didn't mention any drinks before lunch, he's not scarpe
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:57,
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He could have had a load last night and simply failed to mention it. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:58,
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Are you being drunk and annoying?My neighbour bought me two cans of Stella last night, just for lols
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:00,
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I imagine it's like playing pool anywayyou'll be a better driver for a brief amount of time
essentially, windypig should drive to B&Q now as quickly as he can
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:02,
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they are to confuse predators(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:09,
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I can only assume it's because I am black(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:32,
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too good for buses eh wp?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:48,
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Did you squish stunned for me as requested?He's a big hunk of spacky man, that feller.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:36,
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I even licked him for you** didn't.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:39,
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I bet you did. Right on the cock.In fact, thinking about you doing that has turned me right on.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:42,
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Let us know when you've stopped flicking your bean and are back. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:45,
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Sounds like a beached whale* splash, splash, MWAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOKOKKKKOOOOO*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:48,
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Are you saying our lovely Mod is fat? (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:52,
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Go on b3th, mod him.Mod him good.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:25,
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Nah, just th sound not the sizeMy name's Naked Ape and I'm a spacker *belms*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
Really?Well, tehy say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Well done you.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:42,
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Also b3tans are shit at booze, I know this for a fact. Myself excluded obv.
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broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:38,
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I'm good at booze upto a point, at which point it all goes down hill very suddenly and rapidly(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:47,
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AgreedMy stomach rejects booze before my head feels sufficiently drunk to consider it a good night, a fact that I always remember before my first pint and forget after my fifth.
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
In fairness, you are a fucking woofter though.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
I like to think that my inability to hold serious amounts of aleis karmic payback for my good looks and winning personality. Did I tell you about the time a woman stopped me to tell me how hot I was? I'm wearing a very nice shirt from the Paul Smith children's range. Och aye the noo, haggis.
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Oh Plumsie, you Bri'ass cretin!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
Just seen a bit of the wheelchair tennisI could fucking do that. Two bounces? GTFO
(, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Have you seen sitting volleyball? There's not much spiking(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
HahahaThat Ellie Lewis has been pretty successful in the pool.
Shame she had less success in the gene pool...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:19,
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OK.1. A sixteen hour drugs and booze marathon, of course. Derr.
2. Pepperami OF COURSE.
3. You're a bent flid.
4. Aalalalalalalalalt: see 3
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:15,
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depends what the pints are of, doesn't it? pints of ropey old man cum, the fewer the merrieralt: pizza. glorious hot cheesy pizza.
altalt: you're alright, you are.
altaltalt: i've changed my mind.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop-chute(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:28,
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I hate Frank Zappa.In case you were wondering.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:31,
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He'd got a bit silly by this stage in his career.But I still maintain that the Mothers albums are mostly great.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:32,
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"I still maintain that you are a cunt"/Monty
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:33,
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I bought 'we're only in it for the money*' once.It was 'soooo, like, satirical' aka shite.
*that's one of them, right?
Frank you are not funny, and 'comedy jazz-rock' is a dreadful idea. Love from Monty x x
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:36,
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I'm glad to see you've finally admitted your benny-ness(see above)
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:44,
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I was wonderingSo as you can imagine, I'm thrilled that we've managed to clear this up
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:38,
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I'm nothing if not helpful. It's just my nature.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:39,
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Afternoon. I've been fucking conned, every time I've done support it's been dead quiet and now I've taken over someone else's support week it's gone fucking mental. :(
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:43,
Reply)
I am utterly miserable today.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:44,
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Does this help?http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1720505
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:45,
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How aboutthis?
It's even got a picture of CQ at the top of teh page.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:52,
Reply)
Hahaha that's more like it.Apart from the Wilf pic.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:53,
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What am I looking for here? A cursory glance reveals nutt'n.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 16:59,
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Ah, suicide boobing - the classic Bertdown intro.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:00,
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I was wondering what I couldn't see.Of course, the Q-dog had me on superignore, so I was impervious to TITS OF DOOM.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:06,
Reply)
Well the boobs were nice while they lastedThanks whoever did that
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:04,
Reply)
I feel the same way about mine.My knees are enjoying them these days.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:06,
Reply)
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