Good morning, class.
So, 14 years of Google eh? Coh! Amazing. What a crazy rollercoaster of a business, yeah?

I understand that for shopping, many people are tending to use Amazon as a kind of retail Google. My firm sells on Amazon but also pays for ads on there much as we do on Google, where our ad spend is down. As retail ad revenue entirely funds Google, does this mean their days are numbered? If you search Google for free information and Amazon to spend money, they're fucked in the long run.

Is this a good thing? In one respect yes, a load of Segway-riding wankers will get the chop and hopfully die, but think about it, yeah? A Google-less world. Wow, man. Are they evil monopolists CONTROLLING THE INFO-VERSE (I just made that up) or is it just common sense to have a single main search engine? The Jeeves is a massive prick though, I ent askin him NUFFINK.

Sorry this is really, really dull.

Alt: Queers
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:28, 263 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

It doesn't entirely fund Google at all
And even if it did, billions of people use Google. Advertisers are still going to want to pay to advertise to that captive market regardless of where the consumer spends their money.

Thread over, I win.
( Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:31, Reply)

How else do they make money then?
I'm not arguing, I just assumed that was how their business model worked.

But the point is that if people no longer click on Google ads in the numbers they have been, the less businesses will pay for them, no? Assuming that's right, they could find they've overreached themselves with premises, salaries, Segways, waqqqi chairs etc and the business could ultimately collapse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:32, Reply)

By selling statistics
What people are searching for, clicking on etc. There's big money in information like that. The whole targeted ads business came about from Google selling that information to advertisers. Facebook uses the same model, pretty much and they've only recently started advertising, so far just on their mobile apps.
( Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Yeah? Well you're gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:41, Reply)

The holy grail is targeted ads on your phone.
Using location (a-gps and wifi ) plus your internet history and click-throughs to serve you up ads for what's nearest to you that you might be interested in.
This is why Google provides Android for free.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:44, Reply)

The holy grail is YOU'RE GAY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:44, Reply)

If you don't reply within ten seconds that means I've zinged you and you LOSE, French boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Damn.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:41, Reply)

lol

( Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:46, Reply)

So YOU'RE GAY

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Don't think I can comment
as using Firefox with Adblock Plus means I don't see ads on either of them, or Facebook, or anything else. Same with Opera on my phone, set to don't load images.
I'm killing the Internet, probably.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:36, Reply)

YOU. It's YOU. Coming over here, stealing our Google.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:36, Reply)

Meh, the majority still use IE, they'll keep it going.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Aye but at least Adblock will work for those who know about it
:D
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)

I'll be honest with you Monce
I didn't read any of that.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Very wise indeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:42, Reply)

As predicted, the kids have now been in school full time for 2 weeks
and I have picked up their vile germs.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:43, Reply)

You've caught AIDS off your gay son?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:43, Reply)

        
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:45, Reply)

Ah, very wise. You 'rubber up' yeah?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Morning love.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Hello Windus
This cold is killing me.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:48, Reply)

Have sex with your wife.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:49, Reply)

It worked for me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)

What's all this?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)

It'd better be because you fancy me
BECAUSE IF IT'S NOT....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)

It was.
It was just a way of getting close to you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Well it worked, I won't lie
I'm wearing my Friday socks Monce....BUT IT'S NOT FRIDAY??!!??! What am I like, eh?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Uh oh! Someone better issue a W.A.Q.Q.Q.Q.I. ALERT!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)

OMG, and I'm wearing them on the wrong feet!!
So only the inside of my ankles know what day it is!

Oh Monty, I don't feel at all well.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Lemsip and back to bed for you my dear friend.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)

I'm working from home today, so it's not so bad
Day on the couch, hot drinks, maybe a fillum.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)

A what?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)

YOU HEARD!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

He worked on Why Don't You

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Ahhhh.....I seeeeee.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)

*birds suddenly appear*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Soz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:52, Reply)

And me
And my Labrador
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)

I'm going to cut you a break
because you obviously have no idea who you're talking to.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Just once though.
Next time *throat slitting motion*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:55, Reply)

Will you be whacking him with the shillelagh you keep under the bar?

( Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:55, Reply)

You realise that it's getting to the point
that even I can't tell us apart anymore :(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:56, Reply)

That's good advice
Thanks Windy. You're the best.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)

she might enjoy it too,
you never know, maybe film it and watch it whenev you get the chance.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)

You're right Windy
I COULD sell it on the internet. Thanks Windel!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I'll take twelve!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:06, Reply)

The first 100 customers get a signed copy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:07, Reply)

can i have one that is just the close up of your face for the entire 25seconds?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:11, Reply)

I'll have to loop it
but sure
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Morning Boyce.
It won't fail It's too big, someone will buy it if it looks to be struggling and do something with it.
I got drunk again last night, today's hangover is worse than yesterday's. I might have a day off the booze today.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Yeah, they'll just do a Facebook
sell up for eleventy gazillion dollars then let's everyone find out a month later they actually bought fuck all.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)

*cough*MySpace*cough*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)

I had Monday off.
So I can be fresh for Saturday. Have you decided to come yet?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)

I doubt it monters,
i didn't know i'd be able to take the night off earlyenough to book cheap hotel.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:02, Reply)

:o(((((((((((((((((((((

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Well, so far this thread is a few levels above Base Nakers
But it's struggling.
( Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)

#wtn

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Well it started off OK
until someone started answering every post with YOU'RE GAY
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)

^ GAY

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:55, Reply)

Morning Internet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Is that like a 'morning boner'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:57, Reply)

But harder to get down

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)

If you like.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)

He does like morning boners
Because he is gay.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)

I've got a massive Google-on

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:00, Reply)

BING!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Let's hope it doesn't go... micro-soft

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Yahoo!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

DuckDuckGo!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Yahoo!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Sorry, what?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)

We were just talking about you're a cunt?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:55, Reply)

My cunt should be of no interest to you BECAUSE YOUR A GAY

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:57, Reply)

?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:57, Reply)

fucks sake boyce.
went to see jesus christ superstar last night.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)

HE IS RISEN!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)

cunt should stay dead.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Fucking wakki zombie student cunt.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

I don't understand why Jesus felt it was ok to just go around telling everyone what to do,
i mean, i've got stong opinions on some subjects, but i don't go around preaching about it. I think he ought to wind his neck in.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)

tell you what right, cunt should stop flouting licensing laws an all.
did they have a safety certificate for a crowd 5000? fucking doubt it
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Not to mention adhering to food hygiene regulations for storing and preparing the bread and fish.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)

walking on water?
yeah, great stuff show off. what if kiddies copied him eh?
total cunt.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:10, Reply)

He's like an even-shitter Derren Brown.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:11, Reply)

If memory serves, I think he was pretty severely rebuked for his views

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:11, Reply)

too little too late in my opinion.
and people keep buying his book remember, the publishing illuminati are pushing hid flth down our throats, and i for one, won't stand for it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:15, Reply)

Oh, that reminds me
I watched National Treasure 2 last night. Whoo-wee....a real tour-de-force, that was.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:16, Reply)

i can imagine it was excellent.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Oh, it REALLY was
And I'm choosing to believe that it was entirely historically accurate.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)

all very well after the fact.
an unsupervised crowd of religious fanatics? crucifying's too good for him.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)

^ GAY
Lusty's cousin is marrying a massively bent Christian who works in musical theatre, on Sunday night he referred on TWO OCCASIONS to 'JC Superstar'. Jesting aside the bloke genuinely is worse than Nakers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)

if I said chris moyles was the highlight, would that give an indication of my feelings on the subject?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:00, Reply)

I'm not going to be mean to you today.
You've suffered enough.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)

it truly was utter shit.
the guy that played jc was fucking terrible.
AND it had mel c out of them spice girls an all.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:02, Reply)

You poor, poor soul.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

14 fucking quid for 4 bottles of miller.
yes kids, that's 7 quid a pint.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:05, Reply)

well,
actually, bottles are usually around 330ml, so it's 7 quid for a pint and a bit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Oh that's alright then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:11, Reply)

yeah, phew thank fuck for that.
I thought I was being overcharged!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:12, Reply)

i was going to do the maths and workout how much it would be for a pint,
but i can't be fucking bothered.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:12, Reply)

£6.03p per pint

(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:24, Reply)

I suspect you deserve everything you get for drinking bottles of miller.


*Unless they were the only actual booze there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:22, Reply)

it was that or bud.
I'd rather have a soft drink, probably more chance of getting pissed an all.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)

In that case, I forgive you.
bud is worse than hitler.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:24, Reply)

terrible bullying of talk poster bud there

(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:25, Reply)

I was going to say that.
but I figured only about 3 people here would remember him.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:27, Reply)

bud was a HIM?!

(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:29, Reply)

er, yeah.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:32, Reply)

i wondered why her cock taasted funny :(

(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:35, Reply)

hitler nakers
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Wait, am I reading that right?
Chris Moyles....was in Jesus Christ Superstar?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

he's a fat unfunny cunt, and i hipe that his wife cheats on him.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Listen mate, Two Hats is alright.
You take that back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:06, Reply)

I assumed he meant Jesus

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:08, Reply)

He died for our sins you know

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Moyles is dead?
*Rejoices*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)

yes, he was herod and by far the best thing about the whole show.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Hells bells

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:06, Reply)

I laughed at chris moyles TH, not at him but with him :(
I'M A MONSTER!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)

To be fair, he must have something about him
otherwise he wouldn't have been so popular for so long.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:10, Reply)

thanks for softening the blow TH, you're a pal.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:13, Reply)

You can't spell diplomat
Without adding some letters, taking away some others and re-arraging them to spell 'Two James Hats'.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)

duplohat

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:35, Reply)

I'm going to assume you meant to put 'Diplohat'
however, I much prefer Duplohat.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Does he ride down town on a Yamaha?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

No, but he walks like a woman and he wears a bra.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I don't know that version.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:05, Reply)

i'm pretty sure you do now, you stupid prick

(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:18, Reply)

#smasheduphisballsonadustbinlid

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:18, Reply)

lol

( Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)

walking round the secc for an hour and a half so the missus could get tim minchin's autograph was great.
we did not get his autograph.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)

you did get to walk around a hollowed out armadillo for an hour and a half, though.
Swings and roundabouts, mumpers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)

nah it was the industrial looking sheds of the secc, rather than the odd looking quassont.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:25, Reply)

no justice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Why?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)

missus is tim minchin's no.1 stalker.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I'm ginger,
want me to dress up like him and have sex with her for you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:05, Reply)

well you do wear guyliner and trousers far too tight for you.... yeah, go on then.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:08, Reply)

SCORE!!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:13, Reply)

oh Monty
I can understand why, after finishing a half-bottle of wine (it's opened, you can't leave it like that indefinitely) I might open another. But then to open another after that.... What was I thinking Monters? I am feeling dog-rough, thank god people's lives won't depend on the code I write this morning.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:21, Reply)

You crazy guy Lighty.
I'll type quietly today, just for you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)

ta
I'd have responded earlier but I somehow managed to kick the powerlead out of my PC and had to fiddle about under the desk to get it working again. WHY? WHY ME, O LORD?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I have a hangover. I feel HORRIBLE.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:36, Reply)

me, you and lighty should have a hangover party.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:44, Reply)

I'll get my bagpipes!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:45, Reply)

i might vomit on you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Two great hangover cures right there

(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Alright, new Jockanese poster?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Aye, ah'm awright
Thanks awfully for asking.

How are you? You seem to be on here a lot
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I have desperately tedious job.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Sorry to hear that
I work stupid long hours for not enough money too
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Great innit?*


*no
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Kill me now
well, not right now, but maybe on monday
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)

OK sure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)

so what are you up to
are you on t'internet in work or what?

Do you work in IT? They always know the tricks. b3ta is blocked in my work for 'adult content'
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)

try right.upthear.se

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)

LET'S BE FRIENDS!!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Yaaaay!
sounds good. I can't play the bagpipes but that is probably a good thing
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

then pull up a cock and have a seat!
ASL???
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)

thanks
but I already have a cock :P

but I'm 31 and a bloke from Scotland
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

YES ANOTHER ONE OF GOD'S CHOSEN!!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Aye man,
A british citizen by accident of birth and a Scot by grace of god
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)

hey woah, no need for that disloyal chat friend.
we're all proud brits here.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Dozer isn't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Oh aye
I do love my EU passport.

Not that I hav anything against the other members of the UK, I just really like the scenery here
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)

hello highlandcoo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Hello Windy Pig
:)
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)

How are you today?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)

a bit down
long hours at work and relationship strife are making me feel down
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Perhaps some uplifting popular music might help?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

wanna whinge about it to some complete strangers?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Well, since you ask
I moved across the country for a new job but since getting here I hate it, the hours are very long, the job is micromanaged and annoying and I know no-one in the area.

Shortly before I left my g/f and I had a fight and broke up and although I still love her, she won't talk to me.

I don't have anywhere to live so I am staying in a hotel here.

Basically, everything went wrong at once and I got depressed but I am starting to get help for that.

So that's the short, short version but I don't want to bore you all!
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I moved across the country for a new job but since getting here I hate it, the hours are very long, the job is
have a
managed and annoying and I know no-one in the area.

Shortly before I left my g/f and I had a fight and broke up and although I still love her, she won't talk to me.

I don't have anywhere to live so I am staying in a hotel here.

Basically, everything went wrong at once and I got depressed but I am starting to get help for that.

So that's the short, short version but I don't want to bore you all! penis
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)

you fucked that up boyce.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Yeah but I fixed it and now it's v lol.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

it now reads
"Since you asked, have a micro penis."

Still not right.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)

he really is worse than nakers.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Sounds pretty heavy,
Where did you move to, you never know there might be some b3tans near by that can show you the town.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Yeah, life is pretty shit at the moment. That is why I thought joining b3ta would be good, not as good as meeting people face to face but it helps
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)

quick, lets go to a new thread.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)

MTFU. Cunt.



is this better Tangled?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Still seems a bit friendly.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)

WHERE DO YOU LIVE DO YOU WANT A HUG?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I WOULD LOVE A HUG
Actually, I really would love a hug.

I'm stuck in the back of beyond though
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:15, Reply)

GET A TRAIN TO GLASGOW WE CAN HAVE COFFEE!!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Thank you!
I work stupid hours 6 days a week so don't get to go back to the big smoke.

I used to live in the east end. What about you?
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)

consider yourself lucky
my girlfriend's got 3 tits, and one of them's CANCER
(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)

If this post doesn't make it on to the popular page I will be most disappointed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)

we must all press the like-post button

(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)

With food. Lots of food.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)

And bagpipes.
Lots of bagpipes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I'm going to spit on your food at Needos.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)

*something about high chairs and being strapped in*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)

I really wish I'd got a picture of him sitting on those two pouffes at Monty's Bar now

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Me too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

They were nice blokes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I have booked the afternoon off because I have "things that need doing"
These things will mostly involve going back to bed, I suspect.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I've just thought, I can get an all-day breakfast on the way home
that'll sort me out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)

The day....is saved.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Can they make a delivery to north west London please?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

You are definitely not on your usual form today, Batto
Someone new is posting and you haven't told them to fuck off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)

See above.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I broke out the hot chocolate last night, it's that time of year again

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Poof.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)

:(
I only drink it black, just boiling water and cocoa powder, none of this milk and sugar noncery
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)

That's cocoa then, not hot chocolate.
GET IT RIGHT GLUEY YOU FLID.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)

sorry, I'm new to all this drug lingo
I just ask a guy I know for 4 heaped teaspoons of bourneville's best
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I love it with a bit of coffee in it too

(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)

i read that as 'i love a bit of highland toffee the noo'
i really did
(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Actual lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)

That's racist!
maybe? I dunno really. People seem to say that a lot on the internet
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

i am definitely not racist against the scottish, i've got loads of scottish friends and they all love me
some of my best friends are scottish and my sister married a scot and i wore a skirt once and mmps likes me
(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)

that's ok then :P
(highlandcoo, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Hey Glued
I got an email from Wittards today advertising Lime & Chili hot chocolate (not sure on that one) and Creme Brulee hot chocolate.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)

It's not great.
Montezuma's do a chilli hot choc which is better.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Aha...good advice there
Cheers Moncelban
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I'm all about the free tips.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

hang on, you had a hot c party? without me?!?!?!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)

he's lying
eels can't work kettles, let alone glued ones

just as mark everett, prick's totally kettle shy
(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Goddamn right.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)

he likes to be called 'E' these days
cos E's never made a cuppa in his fucken life
(quintsy, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)

does instant tea count?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)

It doesn't even count as a drink.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)

New thread please.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)

I'm not starting one,
oh no, not today.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Me neither. Too much effort. My daughter is crying, this is not helping.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)

maybe you should see what's wrong, and stopr her crying.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)

I employ a wife to do this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)

S'ok, I've done one.
You're welcome.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I wondered what the smell was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I've opened the window and struck a match.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)