Bad news looks like my office is being closed, They won’t let me work full time from home…..
There’s no way I’m relocating to Basingstoke, what should I do fellow O/T’ers (DYAKKY and my mum is not really an option that helps).

Alt: Office steal I have a big boot on my car, what should I take as a momentum of my time served?

Alt,alt: Career change I’ve been stuck doing the same job for over 17 years, if you could change your career what would you do? And why?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:50, 120 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Go and shit in your dead grandmother's cunt you dull wanker
Basingstoke might be a flea pit, but it doesn't deserve a prick like you as a resident.

I hate you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:53, Reply)

You're such a Captain Placid.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Harsh words Al.
Alright?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:54, Reply)

No, tired, stressed, busy and that fucker Boris Johnson keeps on convincing Kroney that he's funny and a nice guy.
I hate Kroney.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:58, Reply)

I almost voted Kroney

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:01, Reply)

You poor deluded fool.
Did you not pay any attention to my awesome campaign posters for Monty? He was clearly the best choice.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Battered brain washed me into it, it's all his fault

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Bless thanks for that Batts

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Em-Vee's zinging away again.
b3ta.com/questions/bestthingivebuilt/post1755759
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Hahahahhaha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Oh dear poor Em-Vee
I bet he's glad Rory aint around to comment
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:05, Reply)

I love that man.
He's an endless source of amusement. I quite liked The Luggage's post the other day, too "er, guys, sorry, but why's he such a dick?"
( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:07, Reply)

I wish someone had said it was because he was a virgin.


Or a Kroney.

I'm not sure which is worse.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:09, Reply)

definitely a kronely
at least virgins don't know what they're missing
(quintsy, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:09, Reply)

I missed once BUT NEVER AGAIN

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:10, Reply)

me too
bent my cock in half in the process
(quintsy, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:11, Reply)

Them chickens was upset I bet

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:13, Reply)

You're in the same boat now, chief.

( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:12, Reply)

i'm only recently single
it's pretty raw so i'll remind you not to bully me about it, thank you very much
(quintsy, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:14, Reply)

I think the two of you should just get it over with and fuck.
Wearing robot costumes of course.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:16, Reply)

+ you never let me join in 8(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Monty should go as Optimus
Emvee will then obviously not be able to get a hard-on, what with Optimus not being in his top ten favourites. This would force him into the "taker" role which, as we all know, is definitely the gayer of the two.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:20, Reply)

nope taker doesnt have to maitain an erection,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:42, Reply)

agreeing with Chompy on this one.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:48, Reply)

bad luck mate

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:14, Reply)

Aint no biggy Chomp
I'm looking at at a career change, fucked if I know what direction though.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:16, Reply)

what did you do before

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:17, Reply)

As little as possible

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Get a job that makes you do something, then.
Boom, career change.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:22, Reply)

BOOM?
Suicide bomber has short term prospects, I hear
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:24, Reply)

Yeah, but the retirement plan is excellent.

( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Allah be the judge of that

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:26, Reply)

Whoops.....
I meant I’LL
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:27, Reply)

I'm about to start a part-time job in child care which is a huge change of direction for me.
So basically yes to save you the trouble I'm going from being a racist to being a paedo.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:22, Reply)

The black kids will love you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:22, Reply)

And I'll love them*
* lies
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:27, Reply)

Don't lube an hate them back

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:30, Reply)

Alright Noel?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:52, Reply)

"When all this is over, Tan Hai Chi, I will kick your head off and put it on my brother's grave!"

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

Hey Hartley,
I picked up my car from the Welder, and then we had a chat, and then I helped him fix the timing on a different morris minor that he couldn't get to run properly, and now i'm back. Also, he seems to have fixed my brakes, even though i didn't ask him to, as he said "well, I had the hubs off anyway, so i sorted out the sticky pad for you"

Maybe you should come work for me, I need a new member of staff, no nicking though.

Alt: I've not worked in an office, but I have stolen loads and loads of stuff from the restaurants and pubs i've run, be careful, get some decent stuff, don't just take paper.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:27, Reply)

So by this......
"I need a new member of staff"

Your calling me a prick? that hurts Windy
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:29, Reply)

hang on,
where did you get that from? You're not a prick, I love you.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:35, Reply)

You're just using me aint you?
Wheres the (b3th) MOD'S when I need them?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:36, Reply)

no..i just wanted to...Hartley...I really....oh god...DON'T LEAVE ME

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:39, Reply)

*Plays hard to get*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:40, Reply)

*plays the trombone*

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:43, Reply)

Pink oboe, more like.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:46, Reply)

i was trying to make out like he had a big willy, you know, because a trombone is bigger than an oboe.
and you've ruined it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:47, Reply)

*pulls out scale rule*
And looks
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:48, Reply)

There you are protect me
Your (bingo) wings are like a shield of steel
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:47, Reply)

Oh yeah.
I feel really inclined to stick up for you now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

Did i say something wrong?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:01, Reply)

*Snaps the Banjo string*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:46, Reply)

Oh.
I didn't think you had a Minor. I'm sorry, but I don't think we can be friends now.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:29, Reply)

PaulGaddLolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:30, Reply)

Why not?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:36, Reply)

You're on Mk II.0 now brah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

2.0 has gone to 11.0?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

i was kind enough to overlook that everyone i have ever met that drives a golf is a bellend,
and engage him in car talk, and now this.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:58, Reply)

Depends on what mark of golf

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:05, Reply)

pretty much all of them.
but mk1 and mkII especially.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:07, Reply)

That sucks.
Alt: I'd go for at the very least a colour laserjet. Or an LCD projector, then you can turn your living room wall into a massive TV screen for fillums.

AltAlt: I don't know, but if you figure it out, please tell me how you're supposed to do it. I thought these days we were supposed to be all free and able to jump around between career paths. I've made myself fucking unemployable : (
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:45, Reply)

We all love you
*had to say that she's a MOD*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:49, Reply)

what do you do, hh?
The guys who bought our company are basingstoke based as well, and they seem to be doing something similar
(quintsy, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

I am in a niche market I deal with structural soundings

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:00, Reply)

for all I care you just said 'I'm a big gay prick and I fuck donkeys'
Prick
(quintsy, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:05, Reply)

I am how did you tell?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:12, Reply)

alright?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

Errrrm yes/no

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:00, Reply)

THAT IS MY USERNAME!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:02, Reply)

Slap the YORK out of him Windy

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:03, Reply)

This is the sort of thing B3th should be sorting out,
but where is he? eh? eh? WHERE IS HE??
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:05, Reply)

And now I'm a he.
You can go off people, you know, piggy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:06, Reply)

you wanted to be a mod, b3th,
you asked for it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:07, Reply)

WINDY SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......................
Don't say I said so but S/He needs a job *winks*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:10, Reply)

Sweet, ok, hang on.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:15, Reply)

S/He's got a bag on
Something about bingo wings I heard
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:08, Reply)

mods are seriously up tight.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:09, Reply)

S/Hes ok if you dont mention the war

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:11, Reply)

Your all mean.
Internet bullying, right here!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:10, Reply)

KRONEY MADE ME DO IT

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:10, Reply)

Hey B3th,
i need some bar staff at the moment if you're interested?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:15, Reply)

*Hides behind a corner*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:18, Reply)

is this going to end badly?
i quite like b3th really?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:22, Reply)

You done Fucked up saying that
*Runs off*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:38, Reply)

my PPI complaint has been upheld.
Anyone who wants tips on this can gaz me. It's piss easy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:20, Reply)

THAT'S MY FUCKEN USERNAME!!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:21, Reply)

no it's not.
Did you see that I came THIRD in QOTW last week? That makes me nearly as much of a success in life as Pooflake.

BEAT THAT, SUCKA!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:30, Reply)

I'm not stupid enough to have bought it, but thanks anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:41, Reply)

several lenders made it conditional
So not everyone chose to buy it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:51, Reply)

oh no!
Steal EVERYTHING, after all, they are closing

altalt: I had enough trouble getting into this career. Given another life and more talent I'd be a musician. If I were someone else (ie someone funny) I'd like to be a comedian or actress
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:20, Reply)

ERRRRRRRRRMMMMMMM

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:39, Reply)

what?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:41, Reply)

Hi Cavy
Errrmmmmm Hello, hows you?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:47, Reply)

i'm OK
why are you so errrmmmy today?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:51, Reply)

Errrmmmmmmmmm
Shy I guess lolz
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:52, Reply)

Bad times harters, what do you do vaguely?
Can you make an incremental change rather than a complete turn around of career?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:40, Reply)

Nahhh fuck that
I can’t go back to modelling (I did That in between 86-96) so I guess I will use my skills and dimples as I can
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 18:46, Reply)

Financial modelling natch.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:13, Reply)

Techie geeks.
Is this a good deal or just a shit laptop being sold for fuck all

www.pcworld.co.uk/gbuk/lenovo-g575-15-6-laptop-black-12377741-pdt.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 19:10, Reply)

You're not going to do much better for 180 quid. I'd buy one.
Unless it was for gaming, because then I wouldn't.

Decent processor, good RAM, hard drive a bit small and integrated graphics which aren't bad but aren't stellar. Absolutely fine for general use and you could do a damned sight worse for a couple of hundred quid more.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Thanks.
I'll order one when I get back from the pub!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 19:46, Reply)

Looks fine for general stuff
not the latest thing but will do the job fine
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 19:56, Reply)

I have a Lenovo and am very happy with it. HTH. xx

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:11, Reply)

how about you not be a pikey cunt
I'm losing my job and I'm not stealing anything
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 19:33, Reply)

That's a shitter there geezer
However, for your alt alt:-

13 years, 362 days in insurance, 18 months senior management in chemical industry, 5 years 9 months senior management in fashion/catalogue logistics, 9 months bus driver, 6 months bus company manager, now self employed property consultant.

I accept that the employment market is tighter now than when I was bouncing about, but the essence is transferable skills and you might not know that you actually have them.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:27, Reply)

I always take property advice from my bus drivers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:30, Reply)

And insurance advice from 'senior management in chemical industry'? *
* his grammatical error, not mine.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:33, Reply)

Alright bats?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:33, Reply)

Stinking cold. All three of us have it. Indian takeaway on its way, can't be arsed to cook and the heat should help sweat it out.
Yourself?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:36, Reply)

Not so bad, had a bath some butternut squash soup and am chilling in some indoor trousers
I may have gone full gay
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:38, Reply)

You bathed in soup? Weirdo.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 21:15, Reply)

We were making a lot of e - I just slipped an extra one in.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:35, Reply)

Was it you that received mortgage help from another B3tan or have I got that completely wrong?
Apologies if I have made a mistake.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:38, Reply)

No - and the one you're thinking of didn't either.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:40, Reply)

I don't wear my badge and uniform now
Puts the punters more at ease.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:34, Reply)

Do you refuse to give financial advice to anyone with more than a fiver?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:35, Reply)

I'll give them change in 20p pieces.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:37, Reply)

you MONSTER!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:40, Reply)

I'm a very terrible reprobate, frankly.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 20:47, Reply)