I'm feeling ignored in the great "FREEEEEEEEEDOM" debate down there
So I'll tell you something nice; one of our contract cleaners is Nepalese and it turns out she hasn't been able to go home to Nepal to see her 12 year old daughter for 3 years.

Someone here heard about this and has started a colection to buy her a return ticket, it's made several hundred quid in a couple of hours.

When did you do something nice for someone?

alt: when were you a cunt, and knew you were being a cunt, but still acted like a cunt?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:20, 121 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I didn't call someone a 'bent spastic' when I could have done.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:21, Reply)

how considerate
I got bored of shouty, your wrong NO YOUR WRONG, in the other thread
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:22, Reply)

You only got bored because you were WRONG.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:23, Reply)

I wasn't arguing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Yes you were....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:24, Reply)

NO YOUN ARE
Got a meeting now, byeeeee
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Alt: When I used violence and coercion to get a Nepalese cleaner to con a few hundred quid out of some idiots, which I will then take from her.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:26, Reply)

The fact I can't think of me doing something nice for someone would suggest such behaviour is overdue.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:28, Reply)

I'm thinking the same

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:29, Reply)

*holds out hand*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:29, Reply)

When did you last wash them?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Don't touch them - he's covered in faecal matter.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:32, Reply)

after touching your mum....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Small time things like picking things up for people, holding doors open, etc. all the time
Big gestures, not so much
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:32, Reply)

oh what? i haven't even had a holiday since July
where's my collection?

alt i'm perfectly lovely and have never been a cunt
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:33, Reply)

I've never seen her 12 year old daughter or even been to Nepal.
No cunt is having a whip round for me though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:34, Reply)

shut up, you is well a sex tourist

(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:34, Reply)

It's research for a book I'm writing.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:35, Reply)

that was literally the shittest excuse i've ever heard
how come they still elt that guy from the Who on the news?
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:36, Reply)

I can't explain.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

This generation
*tsk*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

They have been fooled again

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Why did you look at that stuff?
'Can't Explain'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Since I was a young boy
I played with Jimmeh's balls
From NOW THEN to my badges
I must have licked them all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:42, Reply)

But I ain't seen nothing like them.
'till John Peel went and called.
That dead-bouncer DJ
Sure plays with small-kids balls.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:54, Reply)

textbook.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:55, Reply)

He sneaks into the kids wards,
Becomes part of the machine
Touching all the children
Always staying clean
He hides in institutions,
The fingers touching all
That weird tracksuited pervert
Sure plays a mean paed ball
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:48, Reply)

paed ball Wizard!
Love it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:53, Reply)

He's a paed ball wizard they have to be small kids.
A peado wizard got such a limp left wrist.

Why do you think he does it? (I don't know)
What makes him so cruel?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I'll bet Nakers forgot to tell the cleaner that her 12 year old is actually now 15.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I'll bet Nakers couldn't work that out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:36, Reply)

+ Your Honour

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

i'll bet she was 9 and is now 15

(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

shit i mean 12

(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:37, Reply)

+ Your Honour

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:38, Reply)

15? "teacher legal" as they say in Sussex.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:38, Reply)

"near enough"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:42, Reply)

"there's grass on the pitch, play can go ahead"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:43, Reply)

"I think it's all over"
MNYANNNNNNNNNG!

It is now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:45, Reply)

is that your cum face sporters?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)

That was the joke, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:06, Reply)

"If there's grass on the wicket, they're ready to play cricket"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Oh you pissbucket

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:00, Reply)

If there's grass on the wicket, let's play cricket.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:00, Reply)

I wanted it to be a more inclusive paedogame.
even if the cricket one sounds better.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:01, Reply)

MWHAHAHAHAHA
slower than nakers!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)

My only recourse is to DMAAKM

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Not if I get to you first

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Ooh chase me

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Which one of you is playing the role of Norvell?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:04, Reply)

eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)

edited now.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:06, Reply)

still no idea

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Duncan Norvelle is a comedian in the variety tradition who appeared on television from the early 1980s. He is probably most famous for his catch phrases "Chase Me!", leading to him often being referred to as Duncan "Chase me" Norvelle. /Wikipedia

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:09, Reply)

There is a great* clip of him on Bullseye.
*Your definition of great may differ to that of the poster.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Is your definition:
Anything produced by LWT in the 1980s?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Pretty much.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:16, Reply)

I've actually met him
he was a top bloke, very funny.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:15, Reply)

You've met Nakers?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Clearly not
"he was a top bloke, very funny"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:17, Reply)

You don't know what your missing "Earth Child"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Stop trying to groom me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)

"If they're old enough to bleed, they're old enough to butcher"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)

What is wrong with you people
Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:09, Reply)

They are adults and don't need everything to rhyme?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

That seems perposterous
rhyming is as bright as phospherous
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Oh Nakers :(
Six minutes to come up with that?
#wtn
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I went to get choccie treats from some cunt back from holiday
I'll take some home for the mrs or there'll be hell to pay
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)

I'm reading two things into this:
1) You are duty bound to give your wife a full account of your day at work.
2) You are too stupid to omit the bit about the chocolates to avoid trouble.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:22, Reply)

My user name has now reverted.
B3TA is crap, discuss.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Fuck off Bert

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:49, Reply)

I'm not actually Bert, Legless.
Cheers.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:50, Reply)

I know, Rory.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Rory's dead.
The internets killed him.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Poor Rory, he just wanted to be loved :'(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:56, Reply)

eh what?

(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I heard that pardon.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)

anyone have a good beef stew/pie recipe?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)

bbc.co.uk/recipes
mumsnet.org
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)

gofuckyourselfandfuckingdiekthxbyexxx.com

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)

bear pookie is grooming me by gaz, help me Naked Ape
you're my only hope
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:09, Reply)

You started it Jimmy :)

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i need an adult!
e: Sorry,
Saville.
(Bear Pookie Santa Claus is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct, 16:09, ignore, delete, archive, reply)
in reply to:
Sent To Bear Pookie:

re: Sorry,
15/m/your bumhole

nonce!
(quintsy M.D., Mon 15 Oct, 16:09)
in reply to:
re: Sorry,
Not today thanks, but ta for the interest. ASL?
(Bear Pookie Santa Claus is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct, 16:08)
in reply to:
Sent To Bear Pookie:

re: Sorry,
do you fancy a fuck?
(quintsy M.D., Mon 15 Oct, 16:07)
in reply to:
Sorry,
he called me Bert, and I called him the first B3tan I could think of. I'll edit to Legless, he's never here now.
(Bear Pookie Santa Claus is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct, 16:03)
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Have you been to France before?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:13, Reply)

just the once
some kid burnt my neck, i didn't like it
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:16, Reply)

madness, I'll call teh DAily Mail

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:13, Reply)

Then you have no hope.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Sainsbury Basic range,
or Tesco Value.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:09, Reply)

pricks
(quintsy, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Pack of casserole vegetables, 600g of braised steak cubes
Roll meat in flour and brown in a pan. Place in slow cooker with bottle of dark beer, dash of Worcestershire and a bay leaf. Leave all day on low.

Doing that tonight.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Oi. Nakers 'claims' he has never heard of Duncan Norvelle.
I don't believe him.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:13, Reply)

Remeber I am still young and lithe
unlike you geriatric posters
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:14, Reply)

I've never heard of him either
but I also never heard of spit the dog or the bloke that operated him, John somethingorother.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)

No it was Bob carolgees

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)

80's TV was fucking shit and populated by nonces

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:20, Reply)

The 80s truly was shit on the whole.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:20, Reply)

I did like Kickstart

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:22, Reply)

PAEDO

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

ODEAP

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Bob Carolgees!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Nakers has barely heard of Nakers, Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Maybe I should meditate until i "find" myself?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Your typos have gone all Latin.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:21, Reply)

your replies have gone all slow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:22, Reply)

You spell it 'masturbate"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

No, Nakers spells it 'masrubate'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Knobbishness aside Nigella Lawson's beef stew with thyme and anchovies is excellent.
I have never bothered with the anchovies.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

cheers brah

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

No probz Nake-Diggedy

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Cor! I'd 'beef' her 'stew' with 'thyme and anchovies'
Ifyouknoworramean?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

no you wouldn't, the meat would make your delicate tummy spasm and expell said meat as it's crime against mother nature

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

His Earth Mother would ban him from their yurt in a fucking shot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)

The dictionary people would be scratching out the picture of his face next to the word "hummus"

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:37, Reply)

+ungo

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Cutting and pasting it into the definition of 'murderer'
MORE LIKE!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:41, Reply)

My dictionary doesn't have pictures
As I am no longer 5.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:50, Reply)

+in
*slams, dunks, funks*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Oh Jeff. Jeffy. Jefflington. Jefferson Airplane. Jeff Leppard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Oct 2012, 16:57, Reply)