Newslink thread
A talking whale, no less.
www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/23/whale_speaks_english/

What talking animals have you seen/owned, have they ever said anything useful or amusing?

alt: any other OT awards you can think of?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:23, 93 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I heard a parrot say bollocks once

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:24, Reply)

I put my balls in a parrot once.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Great work internet!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:34, Reply)

i have nothing of interest to say

(quintsy, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:39, Reply)

oh for fuck's sake......

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Best thread ever.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:48, Reply)

so shite I think I may go home early...

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)

This counts as a mini-flounce
So come on, name names - who are the worst people on off topic?
And do you wish to make any allegations about any illegal activity you suspect them of?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:55, Reply)

it's the fucking hippies I hate
Especially that long-haired nancy-boy Boyce I reckon he does drugs.

laters
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:00, Reply)

^ Pot calling the Lithium black

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)

alt: shittest thread of all time, awarded to you, for this one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:54, Reply)

I think we're going to needos now before the gig.
But we're definatly not going to over order and we'll be going about 5:30pm.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Yeah, right ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Current plan is for 2 people:
4 lamb chops
1 tikka fish

1 dry meat
1 tarka daal
2 naan breads

Yes I plan meals over a week away shutup
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)

That looks like a spot on order.
You might want a sneaky seekh kebab in there too. Also the rotis are way less stodgy than naans.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:04, Reply)

I will take this under advisement
then get in there and order EVERYTHING
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Gotta get some rice to go with it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I dunno, that might fill us right up.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Get one rice and one bread.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Half rice, half chips.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I disagree
Rice or bread, not both.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)

what about one of each...

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Between two of you?
That could work.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

If you stick to grill stuff, chops kebabs etc
and don't pig out on actual curries that might be a good idea - but then that'd mean going to Needoo's and not having Dry Meat which I believe is actually illegal.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Hmmm, maybe I should drop the Tarka Daal
go for Seek Kebabs instead
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Ha see above

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I'd like to thank everyone in the entire world for voting for it.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Locky mate,
I don't think this was a good idea.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Probably not
although so far there's been no mentioning of the 'n' or 's' words, at least.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Nigger shit?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

fucksocks.....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Nu Shooz
*I can't wait*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I like that record

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Nipples or Scrotum?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:22, Reply)

naked shapes?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:11, Reply)

My uncle had a parrot called Jasper.
He could talk/swear.

Also, my mate has a newspaper cutting from the ads section that advertises a parrot that 'swears occasionally'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I should get an award for being
only b3tan never to go to either Tayyabs or Needos. So it seems, anyway.

They're probably shit and everybody's just jumping on a bandwagon to seem "cool" and "in". Curry houses are all the same, anyway. I like the Rajdoot in Guildford.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Not our fault you decided not to turn up last time.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:18, Reply)

'Course it is.
It's not mine.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:24, Reply)

i think you might have been to blame, actually

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

I'd have definitely gone if it wasn't for Jeff.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:34, Reply)

And if we'd told you the real date of the bash.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Pfft, whatever.
I bet you were practically in tears.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1764728
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:40, Reply)

...of laughter, looking at a picture of your bent French face.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Waaaaahhhhh :(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:18, Reply)

No frog or snail vindaloo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

i've not been to either
dry meat sounds like shit sex.

brick lane is not as good as the curry mile in manchester, it's official.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Brick Lane is over-rated for curry
Nice but not as nice as other places.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

I've been to the curry mile in Manchester.
Well, I've been to Rusholme. I've also been to Manchester proper. I think that's the one. There's a song called "From Rusholme With Love", just saying.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

the sang am is the best
they do a sizzling fish tikka on a bed of sizzling onions and peppers, it's teh shit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

sounds like shit sex

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Sounds like too much sizzling. Do they do sizzling naans and sizzling rice, too?
Benders.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Man, I want a curry now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Make sure it's sizzling

( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)

I would expect nothing less

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)

there's an amazing one in wilmslow that does a cheesy naan
with fresh chilli. mmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)

My local takeaway does that
and also a tikka chicken and paneer chilli balti
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:31, Reply)

The Rajdoot does curry, too.
Also omelettes.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:31, Reply)

I love the English Dishes!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:32, Reply)

There used to be one called the Punjab in Manchester where you could smoke chillums
and they would clean them for you and give them back on those little trays.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Having been the once, it was fucking ace

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:22, Reply)

Nah, don't believe it.
You're just trying to be a hipster prick.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:24, Reply)

at least he has to try
it comes naturally to some people
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Yeah. I hate Monty, too.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Especially the French

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Its da troof guv

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Every time I've been there it has been full of benders.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:27, Reply)

This was also my experience
I was surrounded by benders the one time I went.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:28, Reply)

You two are letting your date night experience out of the bag here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:29, Reply)

At least we didn't go short of lube.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:29, Reply)

dry meat
All I'm sayin'
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)