Hi guys! Positive replies only please!!!!
Do you like crisps? What about biscuits and nommy cayke????

Alt: 'Ains' Harriott was on that British Food Revival programme last night campaigning to save MUSTARD. Seriously, tough one 'Ains' - no-one eats mustard any more do they? He was stood in some town centre, handing out gourmet sausages in buns with mustard on them. Incredibly, they proved to be popular!!! Thank God for people like 'Ains' who help save rare artisan foods which are rarely eaten any more. Next week, Gary Rhodes says 'save our Greggs'. FFS wot a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:14, 121 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I think you need to be more positive, here.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:15, Reply)

*deletes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

I am POSITIVE that 'Ains' is a bellowing cretin.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I saw that and thought exactly the same thing, the malteaser headed spastic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

in other news i just had a nommy ginger bread man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

NOM!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I'm going to bottle my ginger beer tonight.
Although I need to filter the bits of ginger out first.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Will it be alcoholic?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:19, Reply)

About 8%

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Nice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:22, Reply)

i gazzed b3th an open letter of support
i'd like to see any of you try to pick on her now
(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:22, Reply)

*starts the ban hammer count down*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:23, Reply)

It's not an open letter if you gazzed it, you nob

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

^BULLYING

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

SHUT IT BOYCE

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

IS THERE NO END TO YOUR BULLYING?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)

We don't need to be positive all the time.
Insulting people is fun. I'd just like it not to be me all the fucking time.

Alt: Speaking of 'Gregs', that bald headed spacker off Masterchef was interviewed in some trashy woman's magazine recently bleating about how his young, fit, gold-digging ex-wife was only with him because he was rich and famous.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:23, Reply)

well it wasn't going to be looks and personality, was it?

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:23, Reply)

To be fair B3th they are often picking on me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:24, Reply)

We should totally form our own club and have secret meetings and a special handshake and everything.
Then they'd all be jealous of how super cool we are.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Can I join?
I seem to be deeply un-popular too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

You're in.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

Hahahah that sounds like 'URINE'!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:31, Reply)

I assume I am, too?
it's basically the evening shift people
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

You wanna be in my gang?
My gang, my gang?

/glitterlols
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Gay Shift Unite!
you have nothing to loose but your....

well, just nothing to loose.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

...ability to spell simple words like 'lose'!!!!!

Oh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I think we should form a Union of the Uncool
and form a united front against Boyce and the Ghastly bullies that infest this place, I reckon Tangles and Cavey would join too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

This is without doubt the gayest post in b3ta history.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

This is my school days all over again.
*flashbacks*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)

yeah
but we've got a mod on our side.

and I'm sewing up special costumes as we speak
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)

I read that as 'spewing'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Costumes! *does girly excited clapping thing*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Mod him B3th, Mod him hard!

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)

You'll have to make Dozer an honourary member.
He's too blind to himself to join willingly.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)

we dont' want him

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)

This^
Dozer can form his own Gang. it's how he'd want it anyway.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Poor Dozer : (

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:39, Reply)

look, I pity Dozer as much as the next man
but he does insist not only in being an unremitting cunt, but in being proud of it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:40, Reply)

you have no idea just how risible I find you, do you?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Chicks dig friendless losers who've formed a gay gang.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)

if we have a gang
we have friends. And our club badges.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Fellow victims banding together in fear don't count.
Sorry to be etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:38, Reply)

it does when we have gang symbols
and hazing rituals
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Pretending to be a halfling in Burnham Beeches is not a 'hazing ritual'. Soz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Ah! I see
you are jealous of our club, but too proud to form one of your own.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

My INTERNET HARDMAN club has over NINE members ACTUALLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:45, Reply)

We're going to have AMBERL.
That totally pisses on your chips.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:45, Reply)

*quakes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:53, Reply)

I live near Burnham Beeches.
Next time I hear of a LARP there, I'm going to go and throw rocks at them.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Offline bullying.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:45, Reply)

I'll pretend they're +5 Rocks of Orc Slaying, or something.
It'll be fine.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:47, Reply)

you're just trying to
get into Monty's hardmen club; for internet hardmen who are crying on the inside
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Nah. I'm a lone wolf, me.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Better than being a lone Wilf, I suppose.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Oh god, I don't have to get hazed, do I?
I don't do well in tests.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Don't be silly, you're a founder member
you don't have to do any tests.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I love badges
this just gets better and better.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:39, Reply)

s +r

GAY.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:55, Reply)

aren't you joining us?
are are you throwing your lot in to be a lackey in Monty's mafia?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I'm above it all

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:57, Reply)

above it all too weak willed to make a decision in the coming civil war
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I shall scavenge the battlefield

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:10, Reply)

It isn't you all the time.
I don't really pick on you at all. Imagine being poor old Nakey-noo here. He gets shit all day long and takes it as the good-natured ribbing which it is*.

*Actually it's not, everyone really does hate his guts but he's too dim to realise
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

I like him.
Sorry Nakers.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Tarred with the Wilf brush.
Poor Nakers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

I know, I feel so bad.
Never mind Nakers, you'll always be welcome with the un-cool kids.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:28, Reply)

He's the worst thing about the internet.

( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

He is personally responsible for Tim Berners-Lee's suicide.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

That famous crying Dawson picture?
He'd just read a post by Nakers.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

The deforestation of the Amazon? Nakers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

b3th's usually alright
it's just she got a bit narky because of all the blobbing.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:28, Reply)

I usually am right.
And, apparently, blobbing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

don't listen to him b3th, he's an ineffectual french girlfriendless prick

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

No, he was on a promise the other night.
I bet he totally got some.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:31, Reply)

she probably looked like janet

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

+ Street-Porter

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

Hahaha
I've seen pictures of Janet.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

FUCK OFF KRONEY, YOU'D BE BLOBBING TOO IF YOU HAD TO MOD THESE CUNTS

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Hey listen, I'm not saying blobbing's a bad thing, right?
All I'm suggesting is that she might want to stay away from internet when she's on, as it turns out that I find it mildly inconvenient.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:31, Reply)

this cunts asking for the banhammer, b3th
get cr3 on it
(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

Nevr been a fan of the potato crisp personally.
I do like corn chips though, I have cheesey Doritos for lunch, they will be all of nom.

Biscuites are the best thing ever.I have Oreos, they are remarkably nice for a yank-snack.

Cake, I can take of leave but it has the advantage of being easy to make I may make a cake tonight.

Alt: nah, even I can't be positive about that shit. I do want a sausage sandwich now though. :(
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

Flavoured tortilla chips are repulsive.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

all tortilla chips are repulsive
today I am being controversial
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

They smell sweaty.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)

You forgot to say 'FACT'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)

FACT

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)

so's your face

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Nah, the Marks and Spencer ones are really nice.
So, in conclusion, fuck you.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Shut up are they.
Prick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Greggs is probably struggling
because I no longer go in there and eat all their food.

In other positive news; I can now put on the hot tap without it making a horrible noise. Woo.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

I read that as 'hot top' and got confused.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

my sexy clothes
do make people make horrible noises of disgust, but there's no fixing that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:28, Reply)

"OOOOOluvvlybitomustardtheredoyoulikethatluveh?
Howaboutthatsossyinnabunthendarling?

HYAHYAHYA"

The big-chinned cunt.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:26, Reply)

LOVELY BIT OF 'MICHAEL MUSTARD'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

I got given a greek yoghurt outside Liverpool Street Station this morning
It was rather pleasant.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

I bet it was right in the face
from a tramp. For a fiver.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

^BULLYING

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:31, Reply)

"greek yoghurt" does sound like a euphemism

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:31, Reply)

You sound a bit narky, b3th.
Best swap plugs, love.
( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

You know what?
The next time I'm up on blocks, I'm going to save a plug and fucking send it to you. You'd like that wouldn't you, you filthy french pervert?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)

Woo! Vampire lolly!

( Kroney, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:38, Reply)

do you use tampax cos you find that jamrags stick to your pubes?

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:40, Reply)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1770448
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:41, Reply)

i was only asking :(

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:41, Reply)

if i had periods i don't think i'd want to stuff something up there every month
doesn't seem hygienic. I'd probably just leak through my briefs and change trousers every half hour
(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:42, Reply)

real women
weave their pubes to create a rudimentary brillo sponge
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:20, Reply)

STOP PICKING ON B3TH, YOU DICK

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:38, Reply)

SPUNKBUCKET!

( Peej, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

CUNTSLIME!!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Shouting this at your wife at the point of orgasm is why she won't have sex with you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)

The milkman, on the other hand...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:38, Reply)

is what she calls him?

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

wife?

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)

nope

( Peej, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:15, Reply)

I just saw this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1770172

i'm so glad CQ still loves me
(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

you're better value than rory/AW
you may be a cunt but you're funny too and occasionally inteligent. either of those could be replaced quite easily with a small shell-script.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:47, Reply)

wanker

(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:49, Reply)

wuv ooh

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:49, Reply)

BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED
(quintsy, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 11:46, Reply)

oh man
When exactly is CQ going to commit a needlessly violent and messy suicide? All the signs ate there, it's only a matter of time.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Oct 2012, 12:41, Reply)