Soz Q but that one's shite.
Rubbish on paper/great in real life:

I just nommed some spaghetti rings on toast. On paper, pasta on toast sounds fucking dreadful but it was v good. What else *should* be shit but is actually great?

Alt: what *should* be great on paper but is in reality shit?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:06, 77 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

sex sounds pretty rubbish

hey you, lets rub our pisshole together
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:08, Reply)

I'm nicking this chat-up line if you don't mind

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:15, Reply)

I'm really fucking hungry.
Like, starving. I can't get out of here for another twenty minutes. I'm going out of my mind.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

i'm hungry too
and i'm stuck in a fucking teleconference

fuck everything
( zulu eh?, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

I get really short tempered when I'm hungry.
I'm very much skirting along the edges of anger at the moment.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Could be worse, 'zulu', you could be in a 'webinar'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:14, Reply)

true
we do have a "shared desktop" with a spreadsheet...
( zulu eh?, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:15, Reply)

use coloured cells to draw a massive spunking cock

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:18, Reply)

I hope he's not been fired :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:28, Reply)

It's not looking good for 'zulu' now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:29, Reply)

He shouldn't have drawn it until he could see the whites of their eyes or something.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Just eat one of the onions off your bicycle.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

deep fried mars bars
sound shit, look shit, taste good
( zulu eh?, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Red Dwarf
Alt: Tin Machine
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Nice one Al!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Horror Movies.
I absolutely am a wreck after watching two horror films with my housemates tonight. Not gonna be able to sleep at all....
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:13, Reply)

sounds like the start of a Battered special

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Your mum, being a lezza, on paper she should be a shit shag
but actually she goes for it like a epileptic on at a "Jean Michel Jarr" concert.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:17, Reply)

I recognise the words here, but the order in which you have placed them renders their meaning unfathomable

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:18, Reply)

I know, my heart wasn't really in it if I'm honest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:19, Reply)

me

( Peej, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:18, Reply)

I said rubbish on paper - not 'on the internet'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:19, Reply)

or everywhere

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I'm a lot less rubbish than you.

( Peej, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Fresh Kills landfill mountain in Staten Island is less rubbish than Nakers

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:23, Reply)

lolz

( zulu eh?, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Sorry
Alt - Me
( Peej, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Arsenal should be great on paper but they're shit.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Hashtag football

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Steady on, old boy - I'm a 'gooner' you know!!!
Don't talk about 'us' like that!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

I heard they put a load of balls in a goal last night

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Why aren't you happy?
india.nydailynews.com/newsarticle/7b470adb0a9b6c32e19e16a08df13f3d/buddhist-monk-is-the-worlds-happiest-man

Turns out being happy is a piece of piss.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:22, Reply)

what a prick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Also, French.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Obviously that guy has never been woken up at 4.30 by my kids screaming the house down
every fucking morning
( Peej, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:24, Reply)

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:25, Reply)

She-ra said "For the honor of Grayskull"
So there
( Peej, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:29, Reply)

God he looks like SUCH A DICK now!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:34, Reply)

he could probably silence them with a single buddhist chop to the neck

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:27, Reply)

A good time to get in your 20 minutes of meditation, I would have thought

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:33, Reply)

4:30am angrywanks are the correct way forward here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Durr, what do you think is making his kids scream at 4:30am already?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Good point

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Nearly everything I post.
Alt: This thread.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Beer and wine
Right, what we are going to do is let loads of shit rot in water for ages. Trust me, it'll taste great and be a right laugh

Alt:
Kroney's ice lollies
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Congrats on the hoose sale mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Ahm fucking rajjin aboot it
or something
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!
Sportscow's FINALLY manged to sell his 'hoose' - and for a good price too.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-20135248
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:41, Reply)

I saw that,
I bet you could make some good money just turning around houses like that quickly.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Three words, Chompy - three words:
1. Stockton
2. on
3. Tees
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:43, Reply)

Yeah, shit hole, and probably a bad street.
But if you buy out all the shit empty homes on a street do em up, put good security on them and then sell them on, the crack heads will move on to somewhere else and you've got a nice little earner.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Apparently the neighbours were one of those 20 kids/Asbo/'problem' families.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:48, Reply)

Well those sort of families usually all die in a house fire so it's not too much of a problem.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:52, Reply)

you'd have to get it sold before it got burnt out though

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:43, Reply)

Gutted to fuck when I clicked on 'man held over McCartney murder'
False fucking advertising, man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:44, Reply)

Someone should make a tv program about that!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:45, Reply)

haha
They could call it 'Homes something something Hammer'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:46, Reply)

'Killed by'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:50, Reply)

hosted by peter sutcliffe working kirstie alsopp like a glove puppet

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:53, Reply)

Also from that page
"A Teesside man who admitted stabbing his partner 12 times is cleared of her murder." Apparently in Teesside that's just a mild chastisement, and anyone who dies of it is a soft Southern jessy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:44, Reply)

In other SHOCK NEWS:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-20145664
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I bet they didn't see that coming!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:50, Reply)

At least you provided your own (!)

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:53, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:55, Reply)

star wars 7

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I hope they do some prequels to tell Jar Jar Binks' back story.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Who cares?
Studio makes sequel to overrated sci fi shit fest, gimps in brown dressing gowns wail in the street
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:50, Reply)

I'm looking forward to seeing where the luke leia romance plot goes

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:50, Reply)

all the way down to wookie town

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:54, Reply)

George Lucas is staying on a some sort of "creative director"
which means it'll be shittttttt
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I see Cunty Boyce is a dirty deleter again
The cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)

I'm holding real Monty responsible for this.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 14:01, Reply)

As am I

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 31 Oct 2012, 14:01, Reply)