Funerals
I had the unfortunate task of going to a friends funeral earlier in the week. For her song as you leave she had "I've Had The Time Of My Life". Which was quite poignant.

What would you have at yours? Would it depend on how you passed?

Alt. Do you go overboard with Christmas decorations or keep it simple?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:48, 65 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I do fuck all decorations.
I'd like to have the sounds of my death played on a loop for the entire funeral.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)

That would certainly set a mood.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)

you fuck all decarations?
Even fairy lights?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

I heard he pushes as many as he can under his foreskin and pretends it's a fleshy weeping disco bal

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)

hahaha, oh my.
that's a disturbing mental image.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

I'd have the topgun theme tune, played by Slash standing on a grand piano, that's on fire
decorations are shit, just look at dozer's face ffs
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

I go overboard with Christmas decorations at funerals.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

I like funeral decorations at Christmas.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

Lillies aren't very christmassy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)

Wreaths are very in this year.
They had these ones for birds at the Manchester markets. Bird seed hanging off your door? Can you imagine a worse way to start your day than a Hitchcock-esque battle to your car.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)

it's ok I'm not scared of heights

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:09, Reply)

I'd like to use When the Levee Breaks by Zeppelin for something, might as well be that.
Lyrics are appropriate in a symbolic sort of way. Like, "going to Chicago". I wouldn't really be going to Chicago, you see. I'd be going into an oven.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)

Ahhh, i love the smell of roasting onions

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Probably something like 'Bright Eyes', or something along those lines
I want those fuckers to sob.

Alt: Haven't done any in years.

I just had a burrito for lunch, this just confirms I'm better than you.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)

If you judge your superiority by what you had for lunch then you can have that one.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Should I get a fry up or should I get a BLT?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

you should get AIDs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I don't think I can pick that up in the local Cafe

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I bet you can if you try hard enough.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

fuck the AIDs riddled serving lady up the shitter without a jonny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

well this is good ISN'T IT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

It's pretty bent, Nakers, I'll be honest.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

"none shall return"
by Alabama Thunderpussy. Obviously.

I can see that, perhaps, a large bauble might contribute a tiny amount of bouyancy, but on the whole I'd prefer to go overboard with something more traditional like a lifejacket. If it's all the same.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

if only the titanic had sunk on Christmas day, thosands would've been saved

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

hindsight. It'sa wonderful thing

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)

oh deer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

doh.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Did she work for Sandal's holidays?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

I think she was Jennifer Grey.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

If nobody was allowed to dance at the ceremony you must be correct

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Also if the coffin was kept away from corners

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)

My will specifically states that my body will be left to medical science and I don't want a funeral
My wife says that she'll get everyone to go to the pub to celebrate the fact i'm dead.

Nice

I used to go overboard with the decorations but since I got married the wife has tamed things down a lot which I think is harsh as the kids would love OTT decorations. We just decorated the tree last year.
( Peej, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Your wife killed christmas!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

This just proves that your wife has impecable taste
on both counts.

wuv u really
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

She married me which proves you wrong!
I just went to the photography department and got my portrait done with this stupid movember moustache. I intend to replace every frames photo in my living room with the picture because my wife quite rightly hates it.
( Peej, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

Probably "Hammer Smashed Face" by Cannibal Corpse
Assuming that I end up being killed, as I anticipate I will, as the result of a chance encounter with a nutcase in Wickes.

If I die in a fire, "Disco Inferno" by The Tramps.

If my bungee cord snaps or parachute fails to open, "Jump" by Van Halen. Or Girls Aloud. Either one works. Or, even better, "Defying Gravity" from Wicked.

I can do this all day.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I think "freefalling" by Tom Petty, for that.
"bright eyes" if you're killed by that psychotic cartoon rabbit that shits up rswipe?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Anyone should be shat up by Watership Down
It's a rite of passage
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

+ back

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)

"Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys
if I die of Gigantism
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

I want "killed by death"
only I want it done acoustically in thwarted style of Neil Diamond.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

hi Al, been busy?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

T'wang club will only perform at your funeral if you commit suicide after being raped.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:58, Reply)

+by Twang Club

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:59, Reply)

I would like to have all of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music played at my funeral.
Preferably on vinyl so that when it reaches the end of side four it will hit the continuous loop, which I would then like to be allowed to play out for a further 60 minutes.
I would request that the doors are locked and no one is permitted to leave until the end.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)

All the mentals here should have 'It's all in my head' by Kosheen.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 14:07, Reply)

As one of the aforementioned mentals
I must insist on a similarly-themed but better song.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 14:11, Reply)

www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/22335-list-of-songs-about-mental-illness/
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)