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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What's the best present you've bought for someone this christmas?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:02, 112 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I've bought my mum a donkey water bottle holder
I will leave you to parse that as you like
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I've only bought one present this Christmas.
and it's not that good.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)
What is it?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Chocolates for my sister.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)
what about all the ones you shoplifted?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Did you download any?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Vinyl, dude.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)
I've bought my sister a £30 candle
She'd better be fucking happy with it.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)
If someone got me a candle I sure as hell wouldn't think it cost £30.
What's so great about it?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:10, Reply)
It has variable speed vibrations and realistic spunking action.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:12, Reply)
and you get a fantastic show if while it's inserted and lit, she does a trump

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Fuck knows
She asked for a Jo Malone candle, they're usually about £40, I managed to get it cheaper. Still don't have a fucking clue what's so special about them.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:40, Reply)
They say "Jo Malone" on them
and then, very small, on the bottom "Jesus fuck, we saw you coming"
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
shit all.
Your sister is a mug.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
This is most likely true
But it's well within the budget, and makes buying stuff for her easy, so I don't mind too much.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Al you scared off all the posters, you're a prick.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Booze.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:11, Reply)
I bought my wife some french undies (amongst other things)
its not the best present for her but its the best one I bought because the memory of the very attractive, young, French lady asking me "For Christmas?" and winking at me will stay with me for ever.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:11, Reply)
The best thing about french underwear is that they're always white, and have a handy hole to put a stick in them

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)
^ I like this post ^

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
These aren't white
I have failed
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)
she was winking because she thought you were going to wear them

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I am, it wouldn't be a present for my wife if she wore them for me now would it

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)
louboufuckingprickstupidcuntshoetins

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Still with your girlfriend then?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Things are still going well with your girlfriend then?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Why won't you talk about your girlfriend?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:27, Reply)
is there something wrong with your girlfriend?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
apart from the tumour-tits obv

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Box set of Noggin the Nog books.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
What are you getting for Lusty?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1813584
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:23, Reply)

N W
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:24, Reply)
My brother already made up a whole alternative cast including Blackulus the bird etc

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)
He's such a lolmeister

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I bet he's really good at impressions.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Not as good as me!!!
My 'Kenneth Williams' is as good as it is topical - IF NOT MORE SO!
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
A huge aquarium for my daughter.
She wants to get one of those evil looking albino salamander things...Axolotl?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
THey're not evil
THey're AWWWWSNUGGLESSS cuigly.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/axolotl-21.jpg
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Jesus.
I hope the dog kills it.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)
:(

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
you've got a scuba-dog?
Ace.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)
Axolotls are awesome

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:06, Reply)
A bike
There I said it
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
push or motor?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Fuck off you're not allowed to fix it

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
I've just read this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-20785456

A one year old girl? Please let that be a misprint. FFS! My head just can't cope with that shit
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
THERES TWENTY OF THEM!!!

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:23, Reply)
fucks sake.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Fucking Hell

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Phwoarr

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I mean 'fuck's sake'

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Fucking hell.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I know, the Lostprophets are a fucking terrible band

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:49, Reply)
fucking hell
what an utter cunt
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:07, Reply)
I'd need to see a photo of the one year old before I can decide how to feel

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:28, Reply)
Someone I know just sent me a survey for their degree.
I replied "wank" to every answer. Lol I'm hilarious!
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)
So poppet sent it you?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Nope, I don't think she has my email address. This is a IRL person.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Them Irish deserve all they get

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Lots of books & traditional toys for my daughter.
Still have to buy my wife her main gift; struggling for ideas*.


*this is not a request for suggestions
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:30, Reply)
You should get her some computer games.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)
A pair of shorts.

Oh hang on, she's already got you and Battered Jr!!!!!

LOLOLOL
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)
I am however requesting suggestions for my girlfriend.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Sounds like a fair swop

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Some grease for her stripper pole?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:42, Reply)
From what I understand you don't want it to be slippy.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Some sandpaper for her stripper pole?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
haha. I dun a rofl.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:50, Reply)
oh you missed some excellent internet earlier
Naked Ape ignored me to callign him a bent spastic.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:53, Reply)
i had to go and cry in the toilets and then go and see the nurse :'(

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Terrible bulling of the people from poland.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:29, Reply)
Take her to an owl sancturary, or a Victorian folly.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:43, Reply)
She would fucking love going to see owls.
But I don't know where there's any decent ones.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)

www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&safe=off&tbo=d&sclient=psy-ab&q=owl+sanctuary+milton+keynes&oq=owl+sanctuary+milton+keynes&gs_l=hp.3..0i30.607.5041.0.5277.22.11.0.11.11.1.229.1151.6j4j1.11.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.jT6nm626NME&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355534169,d.d2k&fp=da51af1112b196c&bpcl=40096503&biw=1440&bih=710
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Yeah, the closest is in Leicester.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)
It was a Partridge reference.
I hate owls.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:45, Reply)
She's obsessed with them.
It's worrying, might adopt an owl for her or sometihng.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
I know!
Get her a teat-owl!!!!!
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)
LOLOLZORZ

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:49, Reply)
find some place that does falconry.
it's a fucking good laugh. and there are usually owls.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:50, Reply)
She can do a day being an owl keeper at a sanctuary for £120...

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:55, Reply)
If you do falconry you get to watch them kill shit, though.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:57, Reply)
That would be good.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:58, Reply)
I know a cracking owl sanctuary

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
they do good omelettes

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:32, Reply)
there's one in cheshire my parents
went to. They loved it
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Paul Ross mug

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
*****

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Surprise weekend away in Barcelona, got a good reception
at the other end of the scale I once bought my mum, what turned out to be a log.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
What did you think it was?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:08, Reply)
I went for a different angle this year
Have got a weeks shopping in for the folks and my Gran. All the finest bollocks with cheese boards, wines, champers, biscuits and the usual Christmas rubbish
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
I am a terrible human being and have so far only
bought a present for my guinea pigs. It was a little hut thing and, until this morning, they mostly seemed to think it was haunted.

Other people are getting things from Russia. I suppose the best thing will be the baby blanket I'm making for someone at work for secrete santa, but it's going to be late.

oh and homemade jam and chutney
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Mate of mine
got a lump of hash the size of a matchbox for 50p, on a school trip to Moscow.


Can I have one of those plz mate?
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:07, Reply)
will see what I can do

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:09, Reply)
chz bbz

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:11, Reply)
Haha, I love it when they put the wrong price tags up in the shops

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:49, Reply)
my guinea pig ignored all the fancy shit we got it and just sat in a cardboard carpet roll tube
until it fell apart from chewing and piss
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:31, Reply)
i often give them boxes to play with
working in a photo lab used to be good for big tubes (from the rolls of photo paper), my hamsters liked those
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:33, Reply)
They were getting high on the fumes.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:36, Reply)
Don't be negative.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:41, Reply)
'Evening Jeff, hows life?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:42, Reply)
It's alright.
apart from this whole Christmas thing.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:46, Reply)
It is a pain, I don't want to be forced to have time off at the coldest and wetest time of the year.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:51, Reply)
I bought my partner's son a Leatherman tool
The first one I bought didn't have sufficient gadgets so I swapped it for one with loads. He does a bit of mountain climbing, and it may come in useful.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:24, Reply)
does it have a bone saw?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:32, Reply)
look, you're just going to have to get one for yourself
those bones aren't going to just disappear on their own and the acid bath will take a while if you don't chop them first
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:34, Reply)
No, a saw made of the finest steel.
I may include some cable ties, so he has some tourniquets with him.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:34, Reply)
I've finished work for the year
And I'm in the pub.
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:39, Reply)
I still have tomorrow and a chunk of Friday
I can't fucking wait
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:41, Reply)
When are you going skiing?

(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:47, Reply)
i'm not
but I am going to go to a nuclear bunker, only a little late for the end of the world
(, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:49, Reply)

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