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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What's the best present you've bought for someone this christmas?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:02, 112 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I've bought my mum a donkey water bottle holder
I will leave you to parse that as you like
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I've only bought one present this Christmas.
and it's not that good.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:04, Reply)
What is it?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Chocolates for my sister.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)
what about all the ones you shoplifted?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Did you download any?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Vinyl, dude.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)
I've bought my sister a £30 candle
She'd better be fucking happy with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)
If someone got me a candle I sure as hell wouldn't think it cost £30.
What's so great about it?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:10, Reply)
It has variable speed vibrations and realistic spunking action.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:12, Reply)
and you get a fantastic show if while it's inserted and lit, she does a trump

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Fuck knows
She asked for a Jo Malone candle, they're usually about £40, I managed to get it cheaper. Still don't have a fucking clue what's so special about them.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:40, Reply)
They say "Jo Malone" on them
and then, very small, on the bottom "Jesus fuck, we saw you coming"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
shit all.
Your sister is a mug.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
This is most likely true
But it's well within the budget, and makes buying stuff for her easy, so I don't mind too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Al you scared off all the posters, you're a prick.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Booze.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:11, Reply)
I bought my wife some french undies (amongst other things)
its not the best present for her but its the best one I bought because the memory of the very attractive, young, French lady asking me "For Christmas?" and winking at me will stay with me for ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:11, Reply)
The best thing about french underwear is that they're always white, and have a handy hole to put a stick in them

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)
^ I like this post ^

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
These aren't white
I have failed
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)
she was winking because she thought you were going to wear them

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I am, it wouldn't be a present for my wife if she wore them for me now would it

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)
louboufuckingprickstupidcuntshoetins

(quintsy, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Still with your girlfriend then?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Things are still going well with your girlfriend then?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Why won't you talk about your girlfriend?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:27, Reply)
is there something wrong with your girlfriend?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
apart from the tumour-tits obv

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Box set of Noggin the Nog books.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
What are you getting for Lusty?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1813584
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:23, Reply)

N W
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:24, Reply)
My brother already made up a whole alternative cast including Blackulus the bird etc

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)
He's such a lolmeister

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I bet he's really good at impressions.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Not as good as me!!!
My 'Kenneth Williams' is as good as it is topical - IF NOT MORE SO!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
A huge aquarium for my daughter.
She wants to get one of those evil looking albino salamander things...Axolotl?
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
THey're not evil
THey're AWWWWSNUGGLESSS cuigly.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/axolotl-21.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Jesus.
I hope the dog kills it.
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:20, Reply)
:(

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
you've got a scuba-dog?
Ace.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)
Axolotls are awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:06, Reply)
A bike
There I said it
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:18, Reply)
push or motor?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Fuck off you're not allowed to fix it

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
I've just read this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-20785456

A one year old girl? Please let that be a misprint. FFS! My head just can't cope with that shit
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:22, Reply)
THERES TWENTY OF THEM!!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:23, Reply)
fucks sake.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Fucking Hell

(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Phwoarr

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I mean 'fuck's sake'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Fucking hell.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I know, the Lostprophets are a fucking terrible band

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:49, Reply)
fucking hell
what an utter cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:07, Reply)
I'd need to see a photo of the one year old before I can decide how to feel

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:28, Reply)
Someone I know just sent me a survey for their degree.
I replied "wank" to every answer. Lol I'm hilarious!
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)
So poppet sent it you?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Nope, I don't think she has my email address. This is a IRL person.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Them Irish deserve all they get

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Lots of books & traditional toys for my daughter.
Still have to buy my wife her main gift; struggling for ideas*.


*this is not a request for suggestions
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:30, Reply)
You should get her some computer games.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)
A pair of shorts.

Oh hang on, she's already got you and Battered Jr!!!!!

LOLOLOL
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)
I am however requesting suggestions for my girlfriend.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Sounds like a fair swop

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Some grease for her stripper pole?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:42, Reply)
From what I understand you don't want it to be slippy.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Some sandpaper for her stripper pole?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)
haha. I dun a rofl.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:50, Reply)
oh you missed some excellent internet earlier
Naked Ape ignored me to callign him a bent spastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:53, Reply)
i had to go and cry in the toilets and then go and see the nurse :'(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Terrible bulling of the people from poland.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:29, Reply)
Take her to an owl sancturary, or a Victorian folly.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:43, Reply)
She would fucking love going to see owls.
But I don't know where there's any decent ones.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:44, Reply)

www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&safe=off&tbo=d&sclient=psy-ab&q=owl+sanctuary+milton+keynes&oq=owl+sanctuary+milton+keynes&gs_l=hp.3..0i30.607.5041.0.5277.22.11.0.11.11.1.229.1151.6j4j1.11.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.jT6nm626NME&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355534169,d.d2k&fp=da51af1112b196c&bpcl=40096503&biw=1440&bih=710
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Yeah, the closest is in Leicester.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)
It was a Partridge reference.
I hate owls.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:45, Reply)
She's obsessed with them.
It's worrying, might adopt an owl for her or sometihng.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
I know!
Get her a teat-owl!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)
LOLOLZORZ

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:49, Reply)
find some place that does falconry.
it's a fucking good laugh. and there are usually owls.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:50, Reply)
She can do a day being an owl keeper at a sanctuary for £120...

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:55, Reply)
If you do falconry you get to watch them kill shit, though.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:57, Reply)
That would be good.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:58, Reply)
I know a cracking owl sanctuary

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
they do good omelettes

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:32, Reply)
there's one in cheshire my parents
went to. They loved it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Paul Ross mug

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 16:47, Reply)
*****

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Surprise weekend away in Barcelona, got a good reception
at the other end of the scale I once bought my mum, what turned out to be a log.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
What did you think it was?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:08, Reply)
I went for a different angle this year
Have got a weeks shopping in for the folks and my Gran. All the finest bollocks with cheese boards, wines, champers, biscuits and the usual Christmas rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
I am a terrible human being and have so far only
bought a present for my guinea pigs. It was a little hut thing and, until this morning, they mostly seemed to think it was haunted.

Other people are getting things from Russia. I suppose the best thing will be the baby blanket I'm making for someone at work for secrete santa, but it's going to be late.

oh and homemade jam and chutney
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Mate of mine
got a lump of hash the size of a matchbox for 50p, on a school trip to Moscow.


Can I have one of those plz mate?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:07, Reply)
will see what I can do

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:09, Reply)
chz bbz

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:11, Reply)
Haha, I love it when they put the wrong price tags up in the shops

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:49, Reply)
my guinea pig ignored all the fancy shit we got it and just sat in a cardboard carpet roll tube
until it fell apart from chewing and piss
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:31, Reply)
i often give them boxes to play with
working in a photo lab used to be good for big tubes (from the rolls of photo paper), my hamsters liked those
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:33, Reply)
They were getting high on the fumes.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:36, Reply)
Don't be negative.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:41, Reply)
'Evening Jeff, hows life?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:42, Reply)
It's alright.
apart from this whole Christmas thing.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:46, Reply)
It is a pain, I don't want to be forced to have time off at the coldest and wetest time of the year.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:51, Reply)
I bought my partner's son a Leatherman tool
The first one I bought didn't have sufficient gadgets so I swapped it for one with loads. He does a bit of mountain climbing, and it may come in useful.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:24, Reply)
does it have a bone saw?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:32, Reply)
look, you're just going to have to get one for yourself
those bones aren't going to just disappear on their own and the acid bath will take a while if you don't chop them first
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:34, Reply)
No, a saw made of the finest steel.
I may include some cable ties, so he has some tourniquets with him.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:34, Reply)
I've finished work for the year
And I'm in the pub.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:39, Reply)
I still have tomorrow and a chunk of Friday
I can't fucking wait
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:41, Reply)
When are you going skiing?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:47, Reply)
i'm not
but I am going to go to a nuclear bunker, only a little late for the end of the world
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Dec 2012, 17:49, Reply)

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