My folks were always pretty understanding when it came to your normal teenage drugs and sex cocktail.
It only really got bad when I spent 2 nights in a police cell suspected of having stabbed a guy. I hadn't stabbed him, but had sold him some cocaine about half an hour earlier and was the last person seen with him. My dad fucking flipped when he found out I was selling. Although, nothing made him flip his lid more than the day I crashed his motorbike, he was livid.

Morning battered, how are you on this fine January morning?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:42, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Best of all the cocktails.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)

how's it going boycey?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I'm OK ta WP, how about you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)

surviving,
Last night was awesome, but I am feeling it now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Same as.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:08, Reply)

apparently, according to my chef, at one point last night I was demanding that someone lend me a pound so I could put thin lizzy on the juke box as "the irish have the best singing voices"

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:13, Reply)

you don't have a code for your jukebox to get free music and override other's poor taste?
That's bad landlording, WP.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Good thanks WP. Yourself?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:45, Reply)

hung to the over.
I might not open the pub till 3, can't face it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I think dealing cocaine and being arrested for attempted murder tops anyone else's "I snuck out to the pub and came home late lol" tales
How old were you?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:48, Reply)

When I was 4 I got arrested for the Woolwich pub bombings.
Do I win five pounds?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)

when I was 3 I was accused of masterminding the killing fileds of cambodia

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:52, Reply)

The word 'mastermind' is not the first word that springs to mind when your name pops up, Nakkers

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Clicking this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:13, Reply)

*click*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)

*chortle*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Yeah, but Winders is our god.
it's only to be expected.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)

He is truly a giant of a man.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)

When I was three I was accused of having an empire of savage nomads
stretching from China to Eastern Europe, but it turned out that was Genghis Khan so they let me go,
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)

*Fast East genocide fives*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)

That little shit was always trying to pin the blame on other kids in the class.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Typical Chinky

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:59, Reply)

when I got arrested I was 19, when I totaled my dads bike I was 17,
I had just started hanging out with the bikers, had my shitty125, but wanted to impress, so took my dads bonneville to a bike show and wasn't aware how much more difficult a big bike can be. It was thanks to these same bikers I ended up dealing cocaine, but only for a couple of months, the being arrested thing proper put me off.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Good skills, WP.
My brother totalled my Dad's car - hit a telegraph pole doing 90 and barrel rolled it 2 or 3 times.

He explained that his mantra was "if you do enough damage to the car, the first thought is always going to 'thank fuck he's alive' rather than 'you car stealing/trashing cunt' "

It's an interesting theory, but not without its flaws. Namely, given how much damage he did, he should be dead.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I call bullshit.
Why was a telegraph pole doing 90?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)

it was showing off to the pylon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)

massive drugzors, monts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

his Mantra
That was the Opel import wasnt it?

80's car jokes are always very funny
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:04, Reply)

You are SO right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Textbook.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

thanks
I will have Tricolore 2 Sil Vous Plait
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:13, Reply)

'Quel est le chemin de la bibliothèque?'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)

they are all closed frenchie

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Je m'appelle Badger
J'ai trente-sept ans et j'habite a Edinburgh.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Qu'est que tu fait quand il fait beau?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Je masturber dans le parcs de Edinburgh.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)

merde je ne peux pas croire que vous etes plus jeune que moi

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

malchance.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Was never going to care about me more than that bike,
It was his pride and joy and I put it in a ditch and walked away. I think he'd have been happier if I'd been hurt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

that is a bit shitty of him, old chap.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

yeah, he's not so bad now. He's become a proper dad and less of a shouty wind bag since mum died.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)

making a new child is free
bikes cost money
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)

raising a new child to the age of 17
costs a fuck sight more than any bike out there, though.

It doesn't even make sense on a financial level, Nakers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Nakers. The bentest spastyist spastic of them all.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)