Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Dzien; dobry z Polski. Jego zimne ponownie. Nic dziwnego. Przynajmniej jest sroda, tak w kierunku koniec tygodnia. *As a teenager, I got in to more than my fair share of trouble and got away with hardly any of it. What childhood misbehaviour did you manage to hide from your parents?
Alt: I recommend that Alan kills himself today. What do you recommend another B3tan does?
EDIT: Anyone who has a ‘candleday’ today has the intelligence quotient of a cockroach and has an unhealthy sexually deviant interest in small Thai boys.
* I don’t speak a word of this stupid language, so yes I used Babelfish. What of it? Here is the English version for you: Good morning from Poland. It’s cold again. Unsurprisingly. At least it is Wednesday, so heading towards the end of the week.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:01,
159 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I don't know who Alan is, nor do I know why he should kill himself.I've never been able to hide much from my parents - mainly because I wasn't generally a naughty child, and also because I'm rubbish at lying.
I recommend you try to learn the stupid language. it might make your life easier. Even basics like please and thank you go a fair way.
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:04, Reply)
DON'T LISTEN TO THIS DISGUSTING FORRIN BATTERED!ENGLISH!
SLOWLY, AND LOUDLY.
Then shoot a few of 'em for being willfully forrin, teach the survivors to play cricket. And then tell them that now they're part of The Glorious British Empire, they've got to give you ALL their shineys in return for being taught to be civilised.
GOD BLESS HER MAJESTY!
HUZZAH!
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:13,
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I mostly got away with everything apart from nicking that milk float.We only took it a hundred yards around the corner but he was well miffed.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:09,
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Actually I got a good old bollocking for building a bonfire on the grounds of an ICI explosives factorybut that was probably fair enough.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:17,
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I think the biggest bollocking I got was for stealing money from my dad & buying a car from a farm with the proceeds. I was 14.I kept the car for a few weeks about half a mile from my parents house and only got busted when I drove myself to school one day.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:20,
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Sounds like you were a right Danny Kendall.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:42,
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I remember a lol moment when my mother stopped me in the halland said 'you may think we don't know what kind of antics you get up to and that we're out of touch but we do' and went to give me a hug. I flinched because had she got close enough she might have felt the large bag inside my coat filled with about fifty deals of hashish and a wad of notes. I was a shit son.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:12,
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You wicked child. It's no wonder she fell to drinking and prostituting herself.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:15,
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You're just bloody lucky you brother never found out. He'd have cut your head off.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:09,
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He'd have got away with it and all.The police aren't interested in that sort of thing.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:10,
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There'd have been a media blackout as well.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:13,
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Most of the trouble at school for not working, reallyThe joy of having older siblings is that they'll usually sign your detention slips for you.
Alt: That you get a beer and stop whinging.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:19,
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Not that you need it with this little cracker of a thread!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:37,
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It's still delightful to have your assistance.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:38,
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It's my pleasure. Truly no trouble at all. Any time!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:39,
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I got away with the fuckin' lot, pretty much.I got away with being utterly wanked on acid during our (somewhat formal) family Sunday lunch once. Apart from with my dear brother who clocked it in about two seconds.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:39,
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I got caught for pretty much everything.Apart from buying some stolen goods (a Derby china cruet set) & giving them to my mother for Christmas. She never had a clue and never questioned why they weren't in a box and already had salt and pepper in them.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:42,
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I was very sad when you died in Mr Bronson's car.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:47,
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I had to Google Danny Kendall, I'd forgotten all about him.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:48,
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I went to two boarding schoold, so double jeopardy. Parents and housemasters.Doing:
Weed
Hash
Cider
Speed
Pills
Cigarettes
Accidentally setting off the fire alarms, evacuating the school, when the governors were being shown round.
Making my German teacher look a prick in front of the whole class (Michael Gove's French teacher, incidentally)
Trashing the McDonald's gents bogs just for lulz.
Etc etc. Getting interrupted while losing my V plates in Union Terrace Gardens, aged 15, by passers by.
Etc etc.
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:48, Reply)
Are you sure they weren't 'tech-housemasters'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:50,
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The fact you were taught German by a French teacher explains a lot about you.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:53,
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he taught both.But not at the same time.
You prick. Ever heard of 'modern languages' teachers?
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:56, Reply)
At my school the languages taught were Greek, Latin and French. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:57,
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Sounds like youth offending centres having improved.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:08,
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if you can imagine a witty strikethroughso it says Terrance Trent Derby, that would be grand
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:55, Reply)
There seems to be a disproportionate amount of b3tans who attended boarding schools.Parents of b3tans either didn't love their children enough to stay alive or they were enjoying their lives too much to have their kids get in the way and packed them off as soon as possible.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:56,
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nah, mine was to stop me going into care.Assisted Place scheme for the school fees, Trust for the boarding fees.
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:58, Reply)
There are also a disproportionate number of white blokes who drink too much.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:58,
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I'm comfortable with that.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:59,
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Dzieñ dobry.I didn't have a great deal to 'get away with' as my parents were fairly liberal minded.
There was a tacit agreement that I would deny that I smoked and they would accept my lies.
Like Monty I regularly came home in various states of inebriation, my mother drove me home from the party where I first took acid and I quickly made my excuses and went straight to bed.
Before I left home I used to always smoke a joint out of my bedroom window in the evening and was never called on it.
Alt: I recommend that all b3tans past, present or yet to post get involved today and post loads of funny stuff so we can all lol.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:53,
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I got away with pretty much all of my shenanigansExcept the one where I made a makeshift marble-firing handgun from a handlebar tube and gunpowder from bangers. I think my dad was secretly impressed but, due to my mum's horror at the damage to the garage (bloody great holes in the door) he had to confiscate it - after a couple of test firings!
Alt: I second the honourable member's (fnaarr) motion.
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Any chance Noel Edmonds or Mike Smith might have been flying their helicopters across South London this morning?(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:07,
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I would routinely come home first thing in the morning having spent the night at raves,and would simply avoid eye contact and go to bed until the next day. The dozy buggers hadn't a clue. They also failed to clock that it should not have been possible for me to fund a healthy collection of expensive clothes whilst I was taking a year off to 'travel' the whole of which I spent in Winchester on the dole - some of which they insisted I pay them as rent. I think I got £33 a week in total.
When I was even younger I used to go out after school and would get the train to London to go to gigs, catching the milk train back to Winchester and sneaking in the door at about 5, only to get up 90mins later to go back to school.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:10,
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Or perhaps they simply didn't care about you?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:15,
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They were too busy worrying about you, you fucking Kendall.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:17,
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I taught Barryfromeastenders everything he knows.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:19,
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He told me he once nicked his mum's credit card and went clubbing in Manchester.After about three days of caning it without sleep he got a taxi all the way back to London because he couldn't face the train. Right little bastard.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:21,
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Seems a bit wrong to have comments/idle speculation turned on when poor Baz is probably lying in a shallow grave somewhere near Lewisham.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:36,
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I had a 3-day-long epic house party that I got away with while my 'rents went away.There was draw but nothing stronger. Someone turned up in a limo.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:24,
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MorningAdobe Reader is broken on my work PC, it locks up the moment it starts. IT have 3 times informed me that "It should be fixed now, I tried it on my account and it works fine". It has not been fine after any of these times. I'm hoping today that someone will maybe figure out that the problem is with my account being different to their account, but I'm not holding my breath.
I ran a shoplifting empire and successfully shifted the blame onto another kid when we were finally busted thanks to some preparatory groundwork I'd laid with my parents.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:33,
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'I'm just looking after these Slade and UB40 CDs for a friend, mum'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:35,
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*redesigns school uniform*(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:41,
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*paints mural in the swimming baths*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:42,
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*dies in Mr Bronson's car*(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:46,
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i understand even less than usual on here today(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:49,
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It's hardly our fault that you are too stupid to have been born in the 1970s.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:58,
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whatever, you are 1 decade closer to death than me(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:59,
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your protein deficiencies will finish you off early though(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:04,
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Yes, vegetarians are renowned for being less healthy than meat eaters.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:08,
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I think you can use Chrome or Google Docs to view it, if that helps.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:54,
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I pretty much got away with home-made mortars.I pretty much didn't get away with several houseparties
I did pretty much get away repeatedly with "yeah I'm definitely going to x's to study, yeah overnight, yeah we're definitly not going to fucking dodgy gigs a couple of hundred miles away. Honest"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:42,
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Well if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me, Mighters.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:43,
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*thunderous childhood gig fives*Also, happy candlebastard
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:47,
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My folks were always pretty understanding when it came to your normal teenage drugs and sex cocktail. It only really got bad when I spent 2 nights in a police cell suspected of having stabbed a guy. I hadn't stabbed him, but had sold him some cocaine about half an hour earlier and was the last person seen with him. My dad fucking flipped when he found out I was selling. Although, nothing made him flip his lid more than the day I crashed his motorbike, he was livid.
Morning battered, how are you on this fine January morning?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:42,
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how's it going boycey? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:47,
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surviving, Last night was awesome, but I am feeling it now.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:03,
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apparently, according to my chef, at one point last night I was demanding that someone lend me a pound so I could put thin lizzy on the juke box as "the irish have the best singing voices" (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:13,
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you don't have a code for your jukebox to get free music and override other's poor taste?That's bad landlording, WP.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:19,
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hung to the over. I might not open the pub till 3, can't face it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:47,
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I think dealing cocaine and being arrested for attempted murder tops anyone else's "I snuck out to the pub and came home late lol" talesHow old were you?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:48,
Reply)
When I was 4 I got arrested for the Woolwich pub bombings. Do I win five pounds?
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
when I was 3 I was accused of masterminding the killing fileds of cambodia(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
The word 'mastermind' is not the first word that springs to mind when your name pops up, Nakkers(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Yeah, but Winders is our god.it's only to be expected.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:51,
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He is truly a giant of a man.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:55,
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When I was three I was accused of having an empire of savage nomadsstretching from China to Eastern Europe, but it turned out that was Genghis Khan so they let me go,
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:53,
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That little shit was always trying to pin the blame on other kids in the class.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:57,
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when I got arrested I was 19, when I totaled my dads bike I was 17,I had just started hanging out with the bikers, had my shitty125, but wanted to impress, so took my dads bonneville to a bike show and wasn't aware how much more difficult a big bike can be. It was thanks to these same bikers I ended up dealing cocaine, but only for a couple of months, the being arrested thing proper put me off.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:00,
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Good skills, WP.My brother totalled my Dad's car - hit a telegraph pole doing 90 and barrel rolled it 2 or 3 times.
He explained that his mantra was "if you do enough damage to the car, the first thought is always going to 'thank fuck he's alive' rather than 'you car stealing/trashing cunt' "
It's an interesting theory, but not without its flaws. Namely, given how much damage he did, he should be dead.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:50,
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I call bullshit.Why was a telegraph pole doing 90?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 9:54,
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massive drugzors, monts.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12,
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his MantraThat was the Opel import wasnt it?
80's car jokes are always very funny
(, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Textbook.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12,
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'Quel est le chemin de la bibliothèque?'(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:15,
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Je m'appelle BadgerJ'ai trente-sept ans et j'habite a Edinburgh.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:17,
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Qu'est que tu fait quand il fait beau?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:21,
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Je masturber dans le parcs de Edinburgh.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:30,
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malchance.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:31,
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Was never going to care about me more than that bike, It was his pride and joy and I put it in a ditch and walked away. I think he'd have been happier if I'd been hurt.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12,
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that is a bit shitty of him, old chap.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:12,
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yeah, he's not so bad now. He's become a proper dad and less of a shouty wind bag since mum died. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:14,
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making a new child is freebikes cost money
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:15,
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raising a new child to the age of 17costs a fuck sight more than any bike out there, though.
It doesn't even make sense on a financial level, Nakers.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:18,
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Nakers. The bentest spastyist spastic of them all.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:19,
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I recommend that the mods stop fingering dogs' bumholes and fix Search.'Ning autisms.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:14,
Reply)
ning stujjjjjjjjjjj(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:15,
Reply)
'Ningles The AWESOME Win Pug!:D
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:20,
Reply)
'ning penguintoucher.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:18,
Reply)
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