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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning, off-topicers.
Two things of note happened to me today. Firstly I am pretty sure I cut up professional fat prick Greg Wallace off Masterchef on the A3, today. I have no idea where he lives or if it was even him, but the resemblance was staggering.

Secondly, the subject of police pay came up. My colleague referred to policemen as having "sold their soul". To which I replied "They work for the Met, not Satan". He made some comment about the higher ups not having our best interests at heart and called him paranoid and asked him if these higher ups were the Illuminati. He's now not talking to me.

Anything of note happened to do today, or are you trapped in a morass of boredom and terminal dullness? I'd be looking at b3th here, if she were up yet.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:12, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Oi!
Fuck you, Frenchy.

I've not only been up for hours, I've been OUT. In PUBLIC.

I've even talked to people.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)
see

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
You mean you got up at three yesterday
and have been pulling an all-nighter on Chatroulette and haven't actually gone to bed yet.

It's not the same thing, b3th. Not at all.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
And where are you now?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Back at my desk.
Are you going to start asking me what I'm wearing, too?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)
No, I'm already spent.
Thx bbz x
Same time tomorrow?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)


(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Straight out of your wank bank?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Only a slight correction required

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)
Harsh.
You'll all be sorry when I've gone full-on KFC.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Will we? Why?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I bet you're full of KFC right now

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Not if you keep posting on here all the way to the end.
We love a bit of drama.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
This is more accurate

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Well, that's just mean.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)


(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)


(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
I see your wife hasn't quite managed to shift her baby weight, then.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Can you keep your porn collection to yourself plz?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I'm waiting for someone to start crying about SFW images one here...

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)
luckily non of them show up on my comp at work

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)
In what way are these NSFW?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
I didn't say they were NSFW

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
They cuase AA to move to deaf con bongle at such a rate that he faints and wakes up in a puddle of semen and feces

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Not Suitable Fucking Weight?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:35, Reply)
I'm alright, can't see b3tards pictures on my work pc
occasionally annoying, mostly a wise policy.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
The crackers are for desert.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)
MOD him B3th, MOD him into next week

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)
I'm too busy crying

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
It's a wonder you don't post on here during the day more often.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
they are all horrid and terrible bullies in here

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Yes, 'they' are.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)
what's with the ' '?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1833162
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:35, Reply)
That was a fact!

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Define 'fact'

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)
I didn't make up something mean about you, I was bigging you up that Your were out of bed and living as a fully functioning member of society

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)
She's up and down the post office to cash her pension in

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
I just looked up Guardians of the Galaxy, which gonz is looking forward to.
I read this and lolled "An intelligent, telepathic dog named Cosmo is Knowhere's chief of security and works closely with the new team."
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
I've laughed at a customer falling over a chair, that's about it so far.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
gay

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)
I had an omelette for breakfast.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)
I bet it had spicy sausage in it.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Cheese and ham

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Talking of spicey sausages
metro.co.uk/2012/12/18/cook-this-tonight-spicy-chorizo-tomatoes-and-pepper-3319861/

The picture doesn’t look very appealing but the flavours would defiantly go well together
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Looks like someone shat in an oven dish and placed a fried egg on top

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Yep they didn't present it very well

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
The Kroney pot pie a la oeuf

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
I wonder if it will freeze?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I've pretty much made that before minus the egg.
well lush
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:59, Reply)
did greg have his massive pudding spoon on the dashboard of the car
within grabbing distance?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)
He was chewing on something.
I assumed he had a leg of ham stashed in his glovebox.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
RIP Lokesy

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
YES! I am so happy right now - I have finished all the lab work for my research project.
my last set of sequencing samples have been sent off, and I'll get them back at some point next week.

I also went to work. And now I'm watching Star Trek: Next Generation on the telly.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)
it as all going so well until that last sentence
Have you and your supervisor made up?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Totes have.
He was really nice actually, he apologised to me yesterday for losing his temper and kicking me out of the lab.

And then yesterday and today were awesome. Got loads done.

Also: Star Trek is great.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)
Don't listen to NA, he just says he hates things because he wants monty to like him

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Seriously, I LOVE Thursdays.
3 hour Star Trek Marathon every week, channel 11. it's the only tv I watch all week.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
What episode are you watching now?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)
"REALM OF FEAR"
it's awesome.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Speaking of watching episodes of things
I finally started to watch the Person of Interest series that's been sitting on my Sky + since August.

Four episodes in, and I'm really enjoying it. Except for Jim Cavaziel whispering every fucking line.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)
He makes up for it by shooting loads of people in the knees for barely any reason.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I feel like that most days.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I feel like that when customers treat me like I'm Just A Waitress Whose Only Purpose In Life Is To Be Their Outlet For Their Frustrations.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
people that are rude to waitresses/shop staff/phoine monkeys etc are wankers
unless those workers have been useless
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
see below

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Just hurry up and bring our food, will you.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Just shut up and feed me, food monkey.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:52, Reply)
His love is like the air that i breathe
But seriously though, Star Trek IS shit. I liked the recent movie though
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)
It's just a shame that you still live in a blasted, post-apocalyptic death continent, really.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)
that's okay, I can live with that.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
We'll see how you feel after getting eaten by a cactus.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I've eaten cactus once.
they don't taste nice.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
You don't eat peyote for its flavour.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)
*nods*

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
*vomits*

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21030666
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Turns out the natives are probably Indian as well.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Guy that doesn't get that I'm joking
posts article by another guy that wouldn't get that I'm joking in a subthread started by a girl that does get that I'm joking.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
You're joking!

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Guy that doesn't get that I get that he's joking
makes jokey comment about link posted for ironolols.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)
so is there a thunderdome in every town or not?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:07, Reply)
yes, if
dome box
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:12, Reply)
ROFL
crossroads-of-sabbath.posterous.com/

"CROSSROADS OF SABBATH IS A 90-MINUTE WALKING TOUR IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF BLACK SABBATH DURING THE PERIOD 1948-1970: THE TIME WHEN MEMBERS OF THE BAND WERE GROWING UP AROUND ASTON, NEWTOWN, PERRY BARR AND WITTON, BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND."
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Wow
It'll be like the last 20 minutes of "Full Metal Jacket"
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Full Metal Jacket Boon
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)



I'd like to go on that
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)




You cunt.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I suspected as much
you would have to go to "Thu Midlunds" though.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Ow naow.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
It is mainly going to consist of the shittest bits of Birmingham though.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)
That's gonna take all fucking week

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
aka 'Birmingham'

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
You are stuck in the 1970s, they've done a lot to improve Birmingham over the last 10-20 years.
Some bits of it are actually quite nice.

/Lives in Coventry :(
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Is it still full of brummies?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Nah, it's all blacks and Muslims now.
The Brummies have all moved down your way.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
WTF? Where are they?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Yeah Lighty? Where are you?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I feel dirty

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I is in ur financial district
processing ur traedz
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Re: the police
I love it when hand-wringy student renegade Al types make claims like that. Yes, they sold their souls to the evil god of 'decades of thankless work amongst literally the worst people in society in return for dreadful wages, abuse and great risk to their own personal saftey' THE CUNTS - GOD I HATE THEM THEY'RE SO CORRUPT TOO
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Try getting Ben Elton to help you next time you get mugged, eh?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)
*doubleseats in the house of Lords*

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Interesting if not totally unbiased reading
inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)
summarise please

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)
More than one article so no
blog of serving police inspector, the bits about the new PCCs are interesting.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)
SUMMARISE

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:52, Reply)
The police don't like any proposed changes to the police service.
The end.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)
If you can't be arsed to read it, don't click the link
the articles are pretty short
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)
YEAH FUCK OFF NA YOU LAZY CUNT!

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:59, Reply)
This colleague of mine would be the first person wailing and crying
if the police force was dissolved and the ensuing anarchy resulted in his NAS drive full of pirated films to get nicked.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:58, Reply)
OHHHHHhhhhhhhhh Man
Nasty Nas was da bomb
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)
If he'd only have had the good sense to have died after Illmatic.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
I prefer Nazz.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Todd Rundgren's lot?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
That's the one.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
He's a fucking weird chap isn't he?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Odd looking bloke.
I don't know much about his solo stuff.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)
I think the police are basically like everyone else.
Some are cunts and some are alright.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:07, Reply)
So a bit like you, then.


Only alright.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Pretty much this.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Note on the work fridge:
"Does anyone want to own up to eating my rice? I hope you choke and die."
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
bit much I think.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
It was you wasn't it?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I wouldn't eat food from any of these plebs.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)
You should write that on the notice

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)
That's fucking hilarious
What kind of psycho's do you work with?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Ones that eat rice.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)
rascist

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)
This is what happens when half the staff are going to be made redundant
but we don't know who.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:37, Reply)
back in 2008 our extended team of 9 was taken into an HR room and told that the next day we'd be told who still had a job
that was a fun 24hrs
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:39, Reply)
How shit were the others, if you survived?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)
The ones who didn't eat *all* their crayons got to stay.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)
I WAS JUST NICE TIO YOU

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)
WELL, YOU OWED ME FOR BEING MEAN TO ME UP THERE ^^^

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:44, Reply)
: (
Actually it was my manager that survived and surprise surprsie, it was those of us under her that survived.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)
Totes going to this:
www.antiquearmsfairsltd.co.uk/
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Little tangle would love that.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Excellent
I need to replace my trebuchet, the old one is too short-ranged.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)
My brother's old flatmate made one.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:27, Reply)
For getting rid of the severed heads of drug dealers?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)
hahahha
I like that there is actual historical evidence of the crusaders flinging heads and body parts into the muzza strong holds, to spread fear and disease.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Surely people have done that in every seige situation back to the Greeks and Babylonians?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)
probably; the crusades stick in my mind though
www.usu.edu/markdamen/1320Hist&Civ/slides/15crusad/catapultingheads.jpg
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Fuck me, even I'm not that old.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:36, Reply)
"Fetchez la vache!"

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Fuck me this Algerian hostage situation is fucked up.
I say attack while the jihaddists are praying.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)
gay

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Did you read that Syria are using Agent 15? It's a really nasty nerve agent.
Fucking phsycos.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)
We should fling some disease-ridden severed heads into the compound.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Starting with yours.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Is arthritis a disease?
I don't think it would bring them down that quickly.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Let's give it a try and see

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Fair enough.
Shall I kneel down so you can reach my neck?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Nah, Monty's brother is coming round with his machete.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:40, Reply)
If he's anything like Monty
I can buy him over to my side with an eighth and a bottle of Vladivar.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)
You're all very cruel to B3th!
What's she done that warrants such venom?

I've done frig all so far. Up at 10 and now in work.
Highlight is having an extra shot of espresso in my coffee.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Are you white knighting B3th? I'm not sure you are old enough for her tastes

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:40, Reply)
I aint white knighting nobody
For a start, she has ladyparts!
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 12:05, Reply)
They love me really.
Right guys?


...


Guys?


...


*sobs*
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:41, Reply)
I loves you B3thy, come and get some Jesus love

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)
"Have you welcomed Jesus into your heart?"
"No, he's a bent spastic"

I'll have to try that the next time I'm mugged by god botherers.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:44, Reply)
Please, please PLEASE do this!

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)

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