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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What's the nicest thing a fellow b3tan has ever done for you?
What's the worst thing you've ever done to another b3tan?

Alt: lunch or something. I don't care.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:46, 187 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
no one has ever done anything nice for me : (
I gave someone some technical advice.

alt: PIzza!
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:47, Reply)
i gave you advice on how to deal with your landlord!

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:49, Reply)
Some people are just so ungrateful

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Soz I forgot; still waiting to hear on that
the loos adjustor came around last week, so fingers crossed!
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Too hard to just put the seat back down yourself?
You need an Adjuster to come round and do it?
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:51, Reply)
lols

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:52, Reply)
I bought the wrong size

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:52, Reply)
fat ass

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)
I've had a load of people offering to help me with my London move.
That was rather nice of them.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:50, Reply)
And all you do in return is whinge about your deacon back.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:51, Reply)
link some potentials and we can tell you whether it's a good deal or not

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:52, Reply)
I can recommend some nice white goods boxes
empty fridge-freezers boxes are particularly good this season, with room for a washing machine box extension
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:56, Reply)
Hedgehog From Hell didn't hit me when I pointed out that Scotland was just North Britain.
Alt: nice wrap, vitamin drink and workplace misanthropy.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:51, Reply)
I am the very font of b3ta giving
Alt:
11p noodles with chilli sauce :o(
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:52, Reply)
Aka The Monty Diet.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)
Yep

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:54, Reply)
B3tans are fucking awesome.
Well, the ones that aren't cunts, anyway.


Actually, even some of the ones who *are* cunts are pretty awesome.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:54, Reply)
\o/

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:55, Reply)
I think everyone is lovely

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:55, Reply)
Where does that leave me :(

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:55, Reply)
Out the back, by the bins.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:55, Reply)
But Monty warned me to stay about from his bins.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:57, Reply)
He keeps shitting near them

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:58, Reply)
Battered omitted to tell everyone I was morbidly obese once.
I thought that was quite special of him.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)
You're thinner than Swipe.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)
Stunned bought me a pint once.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)
Himjim* bought me a pint that night that you didn't meet me.
I'd never met him before and he stopped posting on here before I started.


*I think
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:57, Reply)
He's a top bloke.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:59, Reply)
nobody has mentioned my shit hair

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:53, Reply)
I have shit hair at the moment, but i like it when Vlad cuts it but he is really ex[pensive and they haven't dent me an offer in ages :(

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Gay.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:03, Reply)
i know you are but what am i?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:05, Reply)
I went to a bash once and Stunned and Jeff didn't kill me.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Battered sexually assaulted me.
This is for both questions.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:55, Reply)
For lunch too?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:56, Reply)
nah
He's richer than me so I just assumed lunch would be on him.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 12:57, Reply)
He's richer than all of us.
You know, we'll all be sorry when he buys b3ta and changes it's name to b4tta.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:02, Reply)
I am sure there are wealthier posters than me.
I wouldn't give Rob any money for this site; it needs too much spending on it to make it decent.

I would fire all the mods though.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:07, Reply)

ire uck
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:08, Reply)
NO.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:08, Reply)

+t without a stepladder
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Or JCB to lift your prolapsed gunt up

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)

a stepladder sufficient flour to roll them in first.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)
He does want them battered

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)
I've had quite an easy ride for a newbie
I suppose ignorance is bliss in most cases
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Considering the main insult is to call someone a bender
you're essentially immune.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Positive discrimination, innit?
We need to increase our diversity or we get our funding cut.
Pity you're not black as well.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:05, Reply)
We do seem to have a high proportion of north-easterners, though.
That's hardly diversity.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:07, Reply)
*glares*

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:07, Reply)
Yeah, but they're still white, middle class, straight males, aged 30-45.
They just keep their coal in a different place.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)
The bath?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)
That's nearer to you, isn't it?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)
I dont even own any coal....

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Are you down to burning the furniture?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)
*ruffles hair*

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Have I told you to kill yourself yet?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)
you're a good lad Jason.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:15, Reply)
whoever it was that used the phrase 'fat ass' up there
Has lodged that old DnB tune in my head. Bad Ass. Was that DJ Hype?
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:09, Reply)
No, it was me

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:10, Reply)
I don't think DJ Hype posts anymore.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Dont believe the Hype
Thats what they all* said


* not all
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:12, Reply)
All I ever ask of b3tans is online companionship,
It is a nice place to while away the hours. I think the nicest thing was being published on popular Web comic, setup beat puke, by the delightful Theoban.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:13, Reply)
The occasional titgaz would help too

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:14, Reply)
I was trying to find that photo of me in orca face paint for nakey noo,
And stumbled across a forgotten photo of myself as a clown. Scary stuff.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:17, Reply)
*fears*

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:34, Reply)
I also found a photo of me with a baby.
I don't remember being near a baby.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:41, Reply)
is the baby you?
are you slowly fading away in the photo?
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Baroness sometimes gets me a beer from the fridge.
If she wants one.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:16, Reply)
You need to train her better.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)
She's a keeper, that one.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Aint she just.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:25, Reply)
women drinking beer?
You liberals sicken me.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Thanks 'Al Murray'

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Al Murray annoys me, as his documentaries and some of his other tv work is great,
But the pub landlord character is some of the worst comedy I've ever seen.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:25, Reply)
I can't watch that character.
He's really not funny.
Al Murray himself seems to be quite charming, though.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:29, Reply)
yeah, I like his documentary about Germany, worth a shot.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:31, Reply)
His series about WW2 were excellent
The Pub Landlord is like Alf Garnett, actually a sad ignorant git, but with a lot of people just laughing "ironically" at the casual xenophobia and sexism.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:32, Reply)
It's not the people that laugh "ironically" that are the problem.
It's the ones who think he is a spokesperson for their generation.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I filmed cavy, quixote and bobby having sex, and didn't put it on youtube

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:22, Reply)
By christ you're a brave man viewing that Q. You must have an iron stomach.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:23, Reply)
Probably sold it in to David Attenborough for his next series.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:24, Reply)
they could show all the hoists and pulleys needed in the little 'making of' bit in the last ten minutes

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Two converted steampunk trebuchets

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Best thing: Windy once wanked me off
Worst: I spooged all over his purple crushed velvet loons
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:41, Reply)
they were my favourite.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:41, Reply)
They looked good on you too
You've got the legs for them
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:45, Reply)
awwwww thanks.
You know, I've been working out a bit, now you're back it all seems worth it.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Where's MMPS these days?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)
He went looking for you, after you disappeared and hasn't been seen since.
I hope he's ok.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)
I wonder if it's him that's been calling in the middle of the night then hanging up

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I dunno,
He went back over to /talk for a while, and then vanished. I miss my BOKKO! buddy.
Maybe he is in a better place. Like Reddit.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Yeah, hope he's alright
I was thinking of putting together a live action Bash Street Kids movie, and he'd be perfect for the part of Sid.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
So difficult to get spunk out of crushed velvet.
Even if you let it dry and then go at it with a stiff brush, it still leaves a mark.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Typing that has given me a bit of a lazy lob-on though.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)
I feel some Marc Bolan fan-fiction coming on...

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Yeah
I offered to take them to my dry cleaner, but he was so furious he just wanted me to leave.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:44, Reply)
sorry

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:48, Reply)
X2 Your back?
Did they release you early for good behaviour?
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)
I fought one of the screws
Killed him by pushing him onto a coat hook, stole his uniform and made good my escape.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)
That is a grim part of a particularly grim film.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Sure is
Not seen it in years actually
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)
what film is this?
Also surely you'd get blood all over the uniform.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Midnight Express.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)
The Land Before Time IV: Journey Through the Mists

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)
The Clash really needed some new materialZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Nobody on here has done anything nice for me :(
Alt: Homemade pizza
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Hang on...
You are Naked Ape AICMFP!
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Ok the worst anyone has been to me on here was this WHAT BEF SAID :(

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Se'esly
Look at the first reply in this thread.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)
He's a bent spastic
He probably had Egg and Chips and thought it was Pizza
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Numberous b3tans have bought me pints
BGB, T0ria and plentyofants have allowed me to stay at their house.
Swipe gave me some excellent advice (that I was shit, and didn't use, etc)
Lighty sent me some kindling.
Al sent me the Hunger Games for e-reader.

I like most of you, really.

Alt: Beef and chicken fajita with nachos.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Was her advice: don't share your PIN with anyone, no matter how nice they seem?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)
No, it was to do with a twattish landlord threatening me

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Disasterprone got us both free tickets to a Forest-Norwich game once
but we lost, and he's dead now.

This also pales into comparison next to the extraordinary thoughtfulness of a b3tan who bought me a new copy of the Star Wars trilogy after witnessing me have a meltdown on Facebook because I'd lost mine. That was fucking awesome of them.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Blimey - that is nice!

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:59, Reply)
See - b3tans are awesome!

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:59, Reply)
\o/
GROUP HUG!
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:00, Reply)
*hugs*
*suffocates everybody*
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Only those at boob height surely
And I doubt b3th would hug Battered
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Her tits are down by her shins.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)
So you're still at boob height.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
It means you can get a titgaz and an upskirt in the same photo

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I dunno, if I'd seen someone having an eppie over losing starwars dvds
I might buy them a new one, but replace the DVDs inside with episodes 1-3
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)
harsh

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)
incredibly harsh

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Better Jar Jar than "Wah Wah"...

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Mesa think not

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
These are not the discs you were looking for

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)
I get this star wars joke
cos the new ones are shit yeah and everybody crieed and sent hate mail to george Lucas?
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
lucas apologist spotted

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)
To be fair
he was exaggerating when he said a 'new' copy. It was from a boot sale and cost me a fiver.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)
IKR
I was blown away but such kindness
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Nothing anyone does could counter balance the terrible bullying I suffer on a daily basis

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Shut up Nakers, I hope you die.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
THE WHO WILL YOU SET UP YOUR HOME NETWORKING BUSINESS WITH?!

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Someone who can tell an RJ11 from an RJ45 and estimate cable length to the nearest 5 metres?

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
So most 10 year olds.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)
maybe when you were ten you were locked in your attic playing with circuit boards, cables and computers
I was outside being normal
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:30, Reply)

normal a bent spastic
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:31, Reply)
Just kill yourself you bent spastic.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
this is a tiny but mean
I don't want to be short with you but normal bullying is dwarfed by your cruelty
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Go and slice all your veins open with a rusty bread knife.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)
....and then I log on here

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)
heh heh

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Nothing anyone does could counter
balance the terrible bullying suffer on
a daily basis
am a bent spastic
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Well this thread is shit. I expected better from you b3th.
lol jk, I didn't.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)
After I was nice about your missus and everything.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)
everyone's nice about my missus, it's annoying. No one ever says, she's punching above her weight.
No one ever says SHE's done well.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I can't imagine why...

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Sexism abounds in modern britain.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)

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