FFS
Best weekend ever?/Worst weekend ever?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:51, 182 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Lots of good ones
camping in Scotland and others involving friends and alcohol.
Worst: probably the one where I had to tell my brother in law his mum had died suddenly.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:55, Reply)

ouch - not good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Maybe you shouldn't have bludgeoned her to death then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:58, Reply)

Only joking, you definately should have bludgeoned her to death

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:59, Reply)

She should have swallowed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)

*whistles*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:59, Reply)

It's my birthday weekend this very weekend!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:59, Reply)

\o/
I am listening to the Judgement Night soundtrack in your honour, whether you like it or not
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:59, Reply)

I have that on tape.
Favourite tracks are the Biohazard and Slayer ones. Obvs.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:01, Reply)

Faith No More and Boo Yaa Tribe now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:02, Reply)

that one is good too

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Of course it bloody is
It's hard to imagine how the Boo Yaa Tribe could have possibly fucked it up. Even the Cheeky Girls could have turned out a pearler if they'd had the nous to get FNM on board.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:06, Reply)

\o/
Will there be jelly, ice cream, fizzy pop and nommy cayke?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:01, Reply)

I'm hoping there will be beer and wine and meat tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:02, Reply)

best
That weekend when I was raving for three days solid, did a load of dingers and some bird snorted some coke off of my cock. 1999 I think.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)

d g
ird loke
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Weekend of my 21st was pretty special
Started with a lovely meal out with parents, before going watch shopping. After that, met friends, spent the day getting shitfaced, went home.

Woke up with no hangover, pub lunch, watched the football and chilled out with some old friends.

Worst weekend ever - I don't tend to keep track tbh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)

My 21st celebrations went on from the Thursday to the Monday
It was messy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:02, Reply)

Best: One of the ones in Paris when we used to go out drinking until silly o'clock, get a 7am steak, metro back out and then go to the Sunday morning markets.
Worst: The one where I got dumped by me ex fiance and had to leave home and move back with my parents was probably up there as 'not a great time'
( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:05, Reply)

Best sounds good
Worst, not so much
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:05, Reply)

I try not to do the worst much anymore

( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)

No idea in either case
My flimsy but vaguely plausible excuse is that all the really great weekends I was pretty fucked for. My last night behind the decks last year was a belting weekend, as was my first Glasto.

Similarly, all the really bad ones usually triggered an especially potent bout of crippling depression which tends to make the details fuzzy in hindsight.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Bollocks to weekends. This has been today:
* get up with mild hangover.
* drive very expensive car out of city full of roadworks & no road signs
* get the turtles head. It feels urgent.
* find a supermarket. Sprint in. Find toilet.
* turtles head now firmly knocking on cotton door.
* car keys bounce off toilet seat rim as I struggle to remove jeans ASAP. Lucky escape
* deed done. Wipe arse. Finger goes through toilet paper.
* no soap in dispenser.
* buy soap in supermarket. Wash hands.
* return to car. Accidentally put sav nat instructions in to Polish. Cannot change it back.
* get lost. Which includes driving 2km down an unsurfaced farm track.
* finally return to hotel.
* wash hands again.
* proceed to hotel bar.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:11, Reply)

BUT YOU DID MAKE THE POPULAR PAGE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:13, Reply)

This is the danger of not being able to see over the steering wheel.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:14, Reply)

So in summary
I fingered myself and I fackin' loved it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:16, Reply)

AND DROVE AN S CLASS.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:17, Reply)

+AS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:18, Reply)

officelol

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:20, Reply)

tee hee

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)

I love how Drink Driving is only acceptable in countries where it doesn't matter if you kill a local.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:22, Reply)

I didn't drink and drive.
Almost 12 hours between last beer and driving. About 15 hours between first beer and driving.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)

1 unit per hour means that unless you had 16 units or less you were over the limit when you kicked off
8 pints of strong lager equates to somewhere around 24 units I reckon

You NAUGHTY MAN
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:26, Reply)

Doesn't really matter in a country like Poland.
I mean, think about it, at _worst_ he would have bumped off a politician, and they're used to that by now with their plane crashes.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Thirsty...8 pints in 3 hours

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Plain irresponsible when he knew he had to drive the next day

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:28, Reply)

I wonder if he checked the bumper for any blood stains.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)

About 20 minutes per pint.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)

About 16 hours between before the first beer (ie, when you were at no alchole) and driving.... but that's also irrelevant.
You were hung over, to the point where you couldn't even use your sat-nav, hardly fit for driving around really.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)

I really don't think there's a correlation with my beer consumption and ability to use the sat nav Gonz, but nice try.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)

Yeah', yeah'....
gizmodo.com/5958794/friends-dont-let-friends-drink-and-windows-8
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)

It is Poles apart from here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)

Best weekend - cricket weekend down south a few years back
Weather was brilliant, cricket was brilliant, scored my first ever 50, bagged a supermodel and picked up the keys to my Man of The Match Honda Accord.

Worst - a birthday weekend ruined by a mental ex girlfriend.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Best weekend would probably be one of the overseas stag parties, or Glastonbury 2000.
Worst weekend Christmas 2011.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:16, Reply)

*Glastonbury 2000 high-fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:19, Reply)

Just like Nakers, it is my birthday this weekend
Unlike Nakers I am not a bent spastic.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:23, Reply)

No, you're just a dirty nonce who yesterday admitted he would fuck underage girls if he had the chance.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:28, Reply)

No, I admitted to what the question asked.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:30, Reply)

You said you'd fuck a 15 year old.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:31, Reply)

I thought I said that I would look at a 15 1/2 year old.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)

So you've admitted that you would lust after underage girls. NONCE!!!!!!!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)

Well Mr Plato, your logic and reason have outwitted me again.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)

THEORETICAL nonce
Which I think is better than ACTUAL drink driver
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)

The law looks at it a little differently.
If I had been done for drinking driving: 18 month ban & large fine.
If he got done for fucking an underage girl: 4-6 years on rule 43.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)

Yes, yes, actual nonce > actual drink driver
but I think the law is relatively lenient on the subject of thinking "that Emma Watson is a bit of alright" whilst watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Until the psychics rock up we're all in the clear there. Whereas you were a blind pedestrian away from bumrape in the showers.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)

Gutted I'll miss that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:58, Reply)

You'll get there eventually
Matter of time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:01, Reply)

CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP FUCKING CHILDREN (EVEN IN YOUR MINDS)
TA
( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:01, Reply)

Blame Bartleby.
He's a paedo you know.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:04, Reply)

I shouldn't be suprised, what with all the fingers going up kids here
I didn't realise it the cancer of kid touching had reached /ot though
Thought you guys were SAFE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

Happy birthday in advance, kind sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)

He's a paedo you know.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Ta,

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)

Worst: without doubt 5/6th January 2013.
Best: July 28-30th 1989
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)

Cool dates bro

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)

U NO DAT BRUV

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)

Passing your GCSEs eh?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)

DAMN YOU

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)

Hehe.
Alright Darth?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)

Nope
Nice of you to ask though. Your good self?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Aches and pains, otherwise OK

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)

OR: melting my teenage face off on LSD over three days of the best live music on earth at that time
www.ukrockfestivals.com/treworgey-tree-fayre-1989.html
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)

The day after I got back from that I fucked off to Canada for three weeks.
That summer was ace.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Fuck me, you must have been munted
Tripping to the "I love horses" song...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)

eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)

All links on b3ta are to the "I love horses" webpage
Everyone knows this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)

I understand about 1/5th of the words on that page

( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)

It was fucking brilliant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)

Ah cool
The only thing like that I've been to was French and sponsored by Heineken
Which means I suppose it's not like that at all really
( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)

It was like fucking Woodstock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)

Lots of tiny Montys running around the world celebrating their 23rd birthdays then?
'I wonder who dad was'
( Theoban What of it, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)

The state I was in there is no way on earth I could have had any sex at all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:33, Reply)

How would you know?
I'm sure you weren't at Woodstock. We'd never of heard the end of it if you had*

*yes I know you're not old enough to have been there.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:16, Reply)

You're not going to believe this, right.
but there's about 40hrs of video footage of Woodstock. They might even have been a box office smash film with two triple soundtrack LPs released in 1970. It's even possible that I own all of the above and have viewed and listened to it all repeatedly over a 25-year period.

It's a remote possibility.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:31, Reply)

Calm down dear.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:36, Reply)

Ironololz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:42, Reply)

GCSE results?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)

So you spent a weekend hanging around with gypsies and listening to Carter USM.
Fucking hell Boyce.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)

I was watching Hawkwind when those wankers were on.
Actually there's a DVD of HW's set at that festival which I have at home. Utter genius.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Course you were.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Today has been a turgid pile of shite and no mistake
and I still have the joy of 2+ hours Ballroom practice to come. Someone say something to cheer me up.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:00, Reply)

You got purty eyes

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)

Well-meaning and for that I thank you
Untrue, but kind nonetheless
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

I didn't say they weren't defective.
Just that they're purty.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Most kind
:-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)

Would you like to tell teh class what's been so horrible about today?
Can't be worse than being made to go to Manchester, surely?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:16, Reply)

Nothing special
Just fucking depressed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:19, Reply)

God hates fags.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)

He makes you stand outside to smoke them

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:12, Reply)

A highly ironic anagram of "Cliff Richard"
give or take a few letters
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:15, Reply)

Are we all playing nicely this afternoon?
Worst weekend ever for me would be either the weekend I was barely alive due to kidney infection, or the weekend mr b3th was barely alive due to a dicky ticker.

Best would probably the weekend after we got married, or the actual wedding day if I can count that as a weekend (it wasn't)
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:02, Reply)

What about when the pier burnt down, and then reopened.
That must have been a low and a high right there.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:16, Reply)

Have you heard they've commissioned a new adventure golf on the Beach Lawns?
Man, it's going to be the talk of the West Country.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

Watch out for Bartleby hanging around trying to groom the young players.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:27, Reply)

I'll be busy hanging round the old people's homes...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)

+ again

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)

You must be still drunk if you didn't get that joke...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 17:50, Reply)