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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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i've been looking through old off topic threads
most of them are waaaaaaaaay shitter than the ones these days, and there's loads with only like 10-15 replies and no-one's even complaining about how dead it is.

this is my new favourite off topic post www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post192548

you?
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:34, 187 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
This want you wast it?
b3ta.com/questions/b3tapersonoftheyear2010/post1015250
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
god no, i wouldn't touch a ginge if my life depended on it

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
NASTY.
*shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)
nobody panders to me any more
but i do love the new meme that i am fat and post menopausal and collect cats. it warms my heart.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)
It's not a meme that you're fat.
It's a statement of fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
BMI says i'm normal
so in your face.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Is that the same as my meme?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Your meme is that you are a dirty old pedo

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)
Good, just checking.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)
AND GINGER

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)
you could borrow dozer's hamster
and spend all day trying to work out how to get it off, it would be a better waste of your life than reading old threads.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)
what is that story?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:40, Reply)
someone suggested we wrote a short story
i was bored, so i did
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)
ahhhhh, I see

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)
I got about twenty words into that and died.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)
i got to hairy bum

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
And then you started crying again
consumed with jealousy by all these people with normally mounted arses.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:47, Reply)
THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
swipe almost got pregnant off a bin man

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:47, Reply)
shut it neckless

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)
i got a neck implant
FUCK YOU COPPERTOP
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
I AM NOT GINGER
NOT GINGER NOT GINGER NOT GINGER
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)
your hair is definitely ginger, just accept it and move on

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)
it's "auburn"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:59, Reply)
it's funny because
actually it's very dark brown

:(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:00, Reply)
except in that photo, and i suspect in every photo ever taken of you
and in real life
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:01, Reply)
i will post a new photo and you will see
as soon as i've been to the hairdresser
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:02, Reply)
And had it dyed dark brown.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:04, Reply)
No matter what she does to her hair, she'll always be a fat northen munter.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)
it's alright if she does that
i'll pop into greggs and ask aboutt he whole cuffs/collars deal
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)
From what I've heard, he'd love it if you "popped in"

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)
I can't believe you don't suck cocks or fuck mothers

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)
Nobody fancies her, no matter how many times she tells them her hair isn't ginger, it's "flame".

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)
"russet"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)
B R U N E T T E

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)
'Strawberry blonde'.
The nearest she gets to strawberries when she chooses it as an ice cream flavour.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)
it couldn't be less blonde, you raving berk

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)
i heard that you love me
so there
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)
i heard this as well
Corroborated evidence
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)
it makes me feel sick
but i think it's true
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:12, Reply)
You should be so lucky.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:12, Reply)
Oh god imagine his garlic laced tongue all over you
and the body odor, mon dieu the body odor!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:13, Reply)
we had a french cleaner at my estate agency
he fucking reeked
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:16, Reply)
it's easy to get a hamster off
you hold it by the back, gently pinching the neck, blow softly into its groin area until you see genitals, spit and rub
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)
so you are dozer's sock?
this explains so very much
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)
i wish i was someone that interesting's sock

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)
you know what though, its an interesting read
more interesting in some ways than the newer stuff, there were full-on mental spastics here for most of its history
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)
and then you joined

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
that's a compliment, thanks

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:47, Reply)
Hey, Q, help me out?
What's the best insult, dicklord or butthelmet?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Neither, it's "sidearse"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)
Bitchpipe

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
i'd say their both of equal value
but dicklord has fewer letters so wins by default
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
Thanks, buddy

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
' A wet patch is one thing; five wet patches is quite another.'
Boke.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:43, Reply)
i read a much improved version of this at an evening in oxford
i am proud to say that philip pullman laughed and pulled a face at that very line.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
CLANG
Alright, Monty?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)
i didn't say it was a good face

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)
Just cos the only famous people you've ever met
were Gerard Depardieu and Marcel Marceau you fucken onion-wog.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Gerard Depardieu is a fucking dude.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)
les lols pour "onion wog"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
Garlic wog surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)
I always thought these were the best posts
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post128576
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
i forgot about the archives!
i'm gonna trawl the whole lot now

thanks theoban. thanoban
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
I like to go through mike woz eres one too every so often
Proper upsets in there, brilliant:
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=16234
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)
its gonna take me 5ever to read even half of that

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)
The Sammi/Methylene Blue stuff is top banana
I recommend starting there
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:51, Reply)
I really liked* the purple bowling ball story
But it got deleted
By liked I mean disgusted, but the replies were good
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:44, Reply)
eh?

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Some girl gets off her face in a bowling alley
steals a purple bowling ball, has sex with her 6 male bowling pals and films the lot, bowling ball sits on the mantle piece as a reminder.
The backlash was well lol said girl deleted post
Shortened version
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)
oh yeah, i have read that one
she was all 'no i'm not a slag cos they're my mates!'
(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)
I think Rory had a field day with that one
RIP Rory 4evahinrhertz
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:51, Reply)
yeah if only there was another wanker here to replace him

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
I know sadtimes
:'(
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
Kroney's mum came on telling everyone how she found him up to his nuts in the finger hole of 8lb bowling ball
they had to get the fire bridgade to cut it off
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:47, Reply)
Your mum first discovered your unusual situation
when she sat you on the loo for the first time and you shat in the bath.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Your mum first discovered your unusual situation
when she gave birth to you and afterbirth was just a wheel of brie
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:51, Reply)
I'm doing the content for a dentstry website and I feel quite ill at the moment putting some of their picture on.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)
My favorite one was the guy who banged on about being annonimous and someone posted their real name / blog details.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)
Topach or some shit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)
TOTACH

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Toach.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/anon/post615785
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)
fuck I forgot about that one
RE-LOLZ
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)
My favourite part of the whole thread is where the OP takes it all in good humour.
Unlike Spimf

www.b3ta.com/questions/anon/post616569
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
That's why B3ta is getting boring now, not enough twats like that around any more.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)
i dunno, you;re definitely a twat

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)
you should see him at the lolb4shes
everyone just hisses TWAT at him. all the time. TWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWAT.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)
and he can't hear from all the way down there, buried nder all the prostitutes

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)
It's okay though, the combination of cider and lolmeds means I don't give a shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)
I hope this was worth your time
evening chaps, nice you've been keeping this place warm for me
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:22, Reply)
evenin cavy

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:25, Reply)
evening
how's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:28, Reply)
tired and feel a bit sick...
quiet evening in with a movie though so it's all good
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:28, Reply)
how many fingers have you lost today?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:30, Reply)
i have a full compliment

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:34, Reply)
Here'd the nearest you'll get to a compliment:
You're a bent spastic
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)
of 12?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)
I'm not darth

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)
Also very excited about the new Bronxxx album

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:30, Reply)
I don't know them
I don't think,
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:41, Reply)
Oh LOL
Chompy at his finest www.b3ta.com/questions/anon/post615785

I fucking pissed myself at that. The lad took it pretty well though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:40, Reply)
I only just got spimf's "bombproof" comment.
That has to be the slowest penny drop in the history of falling money.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:44, Reply)
I love how spimf wades in with his racist shit boots and gets shot down by Chompy.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:45, Reply)
He made it in to Micto's B3ta dictionary
dictionary.mictoboy.co.uk/define/totach/
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:47, Reply)
Why is swipe asserting her gingerlessness

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:40, Reply)
More to the point, did you get my photo?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:43, Reply)
I did!
We'll test it in a bit
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:44, Reply)
Al did you solve your blue ray player dilema?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)
I did.
I'm going to do nothing and save the money until I have a bigger house where I can justify running an ethernet cable between my router and whatever media playing device I decide to use to stream content onto my tellybox.

I will also look in the attic for the £20 DVD player I bought from Tesco a few years ago.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)
Fair play to you
Are you still interested in the Mutton recipe?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:50, Reply)
You have a mutton recipe?
I'm always interested in a new recipe.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)
Jamaican curry goat Gaz on the way

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)
Thank you.
As per my earlier comments about gazing people please be aware that I may post teh contents of said gaz on the board if it contains any insulting remarks about other b3tans.

I wouldn't want to be a massive hypocrite.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:55, Reply)
No Probs I have the balls to be insulting on the main board.

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:59, Reply)
Simple really it’s called DENILE

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:44, Reply)
To be honest with you all I'm reading through this thread and I'm really getting the vibe that a lot of you have slept with each other

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:42, Reply)
NOT I

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:44, Reply)
Don't worry I hear it's shit anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:47, Reply)
how many have you slept with

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:45, Reply)
I've never even met a b3tan

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)
Neither have I

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)
ive met two and they no longer post
I wonder if theres a pattern
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:49, Reply)
quick, come round, get rid of us all
we need this time to sort our lives out
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:50, Reply)
Well no one else will

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:45, Reply)
Fair point well made

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)
well it depends if you mean
really or in the magical fiction of b3taland
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:47, Reply)
I dunno just everyone seems very very familiar with each other
Like if they've all seen each other honking on the rusty trombone after fourteen pints of tramp piss
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)
Fess up

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)
In b3ta fiction land
I think I have been accused of boffing CQ, Rory, Labs, possibly even Darth and probably some others.

In reality, none.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:57, Reply)
Sure,sure,

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:00, Reply)
i admit it, i've had sex with kroney

(quintsy, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)
the slag

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)
I can't help it, I have intimacy issues.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:51, Reply)
from shaking hands to pants round ankles getting rogered on the fourth plinth in seventy seconds
you slaaaag
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)
Typical they all fuck off and leave me alone
:(
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:06, Reply)
start a new thread
it might reel in some n00bs
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:07, Reply)
:| should I?
:)
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:08, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:10, Reply)
I'm here a little bit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:09, Reply)

Lol I just flushed the train toilet while in the station.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:08, Reply)
You rebel you

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:09, Reply)
lol I didn't really

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:12, Reply)
Pussy

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:13, Reply)
Did you shart out last nights 'deposits'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:11, Reply)
NEW FRACKING THREAD
\O/
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:18, Reply)
does not contain fracking

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:21, Reply)

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