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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Two Hats has just been to Tesco!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:25, 178 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
/nadir

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:25, Reply)
\o/

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Monty!!
You've probably seen this but meh anyway

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-21993789
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Wooooaaahh 105 x 80cm that's a good art size.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Two Hats shops at Tesco
That's where he gets his best clothes.
La-la la, la la.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:28, Reply)
Regretably, this is true

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:33, Reply)
I'm singing this to the tune of "let's all have a disco"
I'm not sure if this was your intention.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I'm pretty certain it was.

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)
I was confused by the inaccurate scanning of the "la's"
That didn't seem like a Jeff error.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Sing it to whatever tune you like.
I really don't mind.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:05, Reply)
you're a good and generous man.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:06, Reply)
I hope he remembered the fuck off and kill yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:30, Reply)
They only had the dried stuff, so I didn't bother

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:34, Reply)
I just went to Boots
I participated in their meal deal despite just wanting a sandwich and really not being that interested in their snack and drink offerings. Somehow I found myself at the till with a smoothie and a lemon drizzle cake. HOW DID THEY DO THAT?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:30, Reply)
did anyone see any good april fools things?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Yes. It was a day late
But I switched off the water in Milton Keynes, hoping some fool would leave their central heating on.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:32, Reply)
That was well lol.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:33, Reply)
I got bored
So I switched it back on again.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Good because my girlfriend needed water to make me cakes.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:41, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21999193
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:33, Reply)
I first read the David Milliband resigning from Sunderland FC story as an April Fool.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:35, Reply)
*emerges from the smoke as the theme from 2001 plays*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:32, Reply)
What's in the bags?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:34, Reply)
1 x onion bahji
1 x stick of root ginger
4 x Toffee Crisps
1 x punnet of cress
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Fatty

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:35, Reply)
THERE'S GINGER AND CRESS ON THERE YOU KNOW

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:36, Reply)
this is the worst episode of ready steady cook ever

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)
You wouldn't say that if you'd ever had one of Two Hat's ginger toffee bhajis

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:43, Reply)
*pricks with fork*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
I've been to the gym,
It was sweaty, and I listened to George Osborne lie about things.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:35, Reply)
WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?
Jesus, you've got some nerve.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:36, Reply)
alright.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Yeah
Well, no....but YEAH! You?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Did he tell you he did 45 minutes on the cross trainer
When he only really did half an hour?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:36, Reply)
9/10 people are better off.
I'm one that's worse off by £250 a year, but at least I'm in the minority.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:36, Reply)
That's the spirit!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Look on the bright side. Making you poorer will mean that someone else can get on the property ladder easier.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Making us both poorer AB, we're both on Agenda for Change.
Although not sure how your shift payments will change things.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)
I should be going up a grade upon completion of the course I'm doing.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)
I'm looking forward to visiting Tescos this weekend, haven't been for nearly three months now, bet it's completely changed

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Oh, you wouldn't believe it
They have TELEVISIONS in there now! ACTUAL televisions....for sale!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:37, Reply)
OMG OMG OMG
I'm so excited :) :) :) :) :)
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I've somehow managed to make a picture of micheal gove my wallpaper on my phone.
I don't know how to get rid of it :(
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:37, Reply)
It's this one :(
news.google.com/news/tbn/NN8re3Ey6G0J/6.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Woah
haha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)
The google glasses one?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:43, Reply)
I've just been to the bakery

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Tesco comes to me now

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Does it whisper in your ear
telling you not to tell your parents and that it'll be your special secret?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Yes
and it tells me that if I tell anyone they won't believe me and I'll get in to trouble
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Fucking Tesco.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I have not been to Tesco
but I might go later. IMAGINE.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Really, i thought better of you
I only shop at the organic grocers and rare breeds butchers.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Neither of those sell Game of Thrones DVDs to stop Mrs B getting bored, though.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:48, Reply)
OMG new game of thrones tonight on my new TV I am so excited!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Watched it last night
Starts with nudity, they know their audience.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
TITS AND DRAGONS!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Banned from Tescos?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:48, Reply)
I bought fags in my pyjamas too many times :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
They caught him with his cock in the bacon slicer,
had to sack her as well, etc etc.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
and?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I bought gifts and trinkets the likes of which have never been seen

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
in a tesco finest way? or a tesco value way?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Oh, these are all branded, baby
I'm diggin' the scene with a gangster lean
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I've just been to Smiths!
There's some hardcore shopping win going on, here.

Turns out I can't wrap up presents. This was a box. I failed to wrap up a perfectly square box. Should I kill myself now or later?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:48, Reply)
both.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
right now, wrap you head on wrapping paper until you suffoctae

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Somehow I've managed to get the paper on two sides looser than a freshly fucked weasel
and the other two sides are tighter than a nun's twat. I don't understand how this is even possible.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
it'll be your extra chromosome

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
You didn't send me any text.
It either didn't leave your phone, or you sent it to somebody that isn't me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
one of these may be right
but you may still grovel like the dirty little bitch that you are
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Shan't

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)
*reads grovelling text*
*sneers*

*deletes*
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Typical blobbing

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:04, Reply)
It's because, and I can't emphasise this enough
you touch yourself at night.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
at night, in the morning, in church...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:54, Reply)
everybody touches themselves in church
it's what Jesus would have wanted.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)
huh
and yet, and yet, i think the bible says the exact opposite...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:59, Reply)
The bible is a mass of contradictions.
It's no wonder priests need to console themselves with choirboys.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)
the trivk is to only pick the bits that support your beliefs and denounce the other bits

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:07, Reply)
or, just, k'know, treat it like the story it so clearly is.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:10, Reply)
stone him! blasphemy! only if he escapes can he live.
but because he's a guy, right, only bury him to the waist. if that bitch had been a woman, he'd be buried right up to his neck. he'd still get the chance to escape, just.... whilst he's buried right up to his neck.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:13, Reply)
It's funny how heterosexual sex before marriage is verboten
but bumming a pre-pubescent boy is just fine by God.

Seems odd.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:07, Reply)
God was all about loving the pederast.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:08, Reply)
One of David Bowie's less successful singles.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:31, Reply)
now
and get someone to post the video on here
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:50, Reply)
typical blobbing.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Heaven knows you're miserable now.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
I may go to Harrods later.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)
avoid the garden section
you don't want to be sold as a gnome again
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:50, Reply)
I want to buy some escargot.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Are you auditioning for this year's grotto?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Don't you get enough contact with wankers on here all day?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1919905
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Check your garden, stick em in a jar.
Feed them with sliced carrot. when their shit is orange they're ready to cook.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)
You forget I have dead prostitutes buried in my garden, so I really don't want to eat snails that have crawled over rotting corpses.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Selling snails to rich people is probably a good money spinner.
bertc.com/subfive/recipes/gardensnails.htm
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I used to buy my guitar strings in Harrods
They were cheaper than everywhere else for the strings I use
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)
all sorts of odd stuff is cheaper in Harrods
it's weird.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
FUCK, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUY TOFFEE CRISPS
I meant Lion Bars....bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
i had a white chocolate lion bar once
it was rank
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Ugh, no that doesn't sound good

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)
see, you'd think it would be
caramel - good. white chocolate - good. tasty lion bar filling - good.

but no. weird and sickly :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
white chocolate in weird and sickly shocker!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Yes, all the components are there
Ah well....I'm sure they've got top men on it right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:56, Reply)
But who exactly?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Top. Men.
I'm disappointed in you, TH.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:27, Reply)
It'll be shit white chocolate.
Nestle so I asssume milkybar.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)
all white chocolate is shit
it's not even choloate
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:59, Reply)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)
"decent" white chocolate has its place
in triple-chocolate cookies, for instance.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)
or in your mouth...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)
you've got "white chocolate" all over your face

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:04, Reply)
hi stunned!
how was cyprus?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:08, Reply)

that's not exactly white chocolate. Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:06, Reply)
something about it melting something something pander

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:08, Reply)
textbook panda.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:09, Reply)
sexual harassment's less popular younger brother?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)
up to the back wheels in bamboo.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
*something about a panda's radio*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:13, Reply)
*eats, shoots and leaves*

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
they are pretty similar

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)
not in terms of branding though

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:54, Reply)

__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Looks like this to me
__̴©¥̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡©¥̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡¥ð̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡©¥̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡&#

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Fuck....well that didn't work

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
lololol

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)

__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)

__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:59, Reply)
FUCK YEAH
__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Nothing works in the subject line

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:54, Reply)
And when you think about it...isn't that a little bit like Jesus?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
except, y'know, words.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
well, he doesn't really, does he?
this IS kroney we're talking about here, darling. he studied in WALES, ffs.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
And numbers

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:08, Reply)
and symbols

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)

__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡&#
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Anyone had a suit refitted? any idea of cost
Jacket needs slimming and maybe shortening, sleeves in line with this, trousers need slimming.

kthx xxx
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:13, Reply)
& add 4 nested collars

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)
once you pop, you can't stop.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)
At the risk of re-starting this argument with Al
I buy off-the-peg suits and then have them tailored. It's about £50-£80 for a whole suit depending on how much material needs removing and the location of the seams etc.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Seems reasonable
this was made for me, but i'ma bit slimmer and tbh it was never as modern as i would have liked.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
As long as they can dart the material out from the side-seams of the jacket
it's an easy job. Slimming the cut of trousers isn't so easy (the easy trick is just to slim the waistband but it doesn't look as good) but it can still be done well by a decent tailor
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
waist band is a perfect fit already
It's a fairly standard colour I reckon so i may be able to get new trousers separately.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Ask anyway
it'll be cheaper than new trousers if they can do it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
Nope!
Though I had my grandfather's overcoat taken in and then quoted a tenner an item (i.e waist, eaqch sleeve etc). That wasn't a proper tailor, just a guy operating out of a dry-cleaners, but he did a decent job.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)
yeah, i have a dry cleaner who can do small jobs, but i reckon a refit need s tailor

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
you should take that cardigran in
see what they can do with that
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
That cardigan is perfect.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
set it on fire and put it out with horse piss?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
oh right, yeah, he said the tailors
not the round table on bonfire night
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I buy off the peg suits and then don't have them tailored
but let not beat about the bush, it doesn't fucking matter as I can't even tie a tie properly
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
It's OK, rock the "suit and no tie" look.
a sartorial classic. Plus you can then wear brown shoes without being ostracised by polite society.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
alright dozer?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I grant you, it's a tricky balance between dressing properly and not being a cunt.
but if you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much space.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:26, Reply)
i have to disagre with the brown shoe point here
and actually i think suits without ties is looking worse and worse, it's a bit "politician trying to hard"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:26, Reply)
depends on the shirt, the cut of the suit, and crucially
whether or not you're a shiny cunt or not.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:27, Reply)
yeah fair enough, i'm getting into ties though
i just don't own enough really
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:29, Reply)
nothing wrong with a tie in the slightest
I'm just offering PJ a way out of his double-windsor conundrum.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I wear a plain black tshirt under a suit jacket
CALL THE FASHION POLICE!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:38, Reply)
I can't remember if my graphics card has a HDMI output.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Look at the back
/helpful
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
What is your card?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I can't remember :(
I'll have to wait until I get home.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Just estimate how many it might have

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
then buy a 30m hdmi cable anyway

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
TTJ
or 30 leads whatever
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:26, Reply)
I stand corrected.
THIS is my favourite subthread of the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Oh man, I can't believe I've been working and missed all this!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)

and missed all this!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I didn't do much.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I'm about to run a vlookup on about 14k rows of data, I may break my computer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Yeah I don't even need to know what this means.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:29, Reply)
high end excelling

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:34, Reply)

run a vlookup on about
14k rows of data touch the keyboard
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:34, Reply)
MORE LIKE YOU YOU HAM HANDED MONSTER

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:34, Reply)
I have a special ham hands keyboard and mouse AKTUALY

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 14:38, Reply)

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