When I was about 8 a mate of mine dared me to call the last person in the phone book and tell them they'd won a prize for being the last person in the phone book
I did so, and for reasons that continue to escape me, we both found it unbelievably hilarious. That's pretty fucking dumb.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:48, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I am TOTES doing this tonight!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)

Poor old Jacob Zuma, he must be sick of it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:49, Reply)

Oh man, then you should, like, film it and put it on facebook.
I bet you'd get loads of 'likes' for that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:50, Reply)

In my defence
I WAS EIGHT

And I totes would have got loads of likes if Facebook had been invented
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Oh man I bet my /links niggaz'd be all over that shit.
It'd be like that 'Games for a Laugh', you know, with that Ned Kelly fellow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)

There was a kid in my class who broke my cello bow.
I booked about 10 different taxi firms to collect him and his family for airport trips at 30 minute intervals through one night.

Really unfair on the cab drivers.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:50, Reply)

Is this another euphemism, like 'banjo string'?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Yes it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)

That is genuinely brilliant
and therefore very obviously a lie.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)

At the end of pretty much every term
every unpopular member of staff at my school had about ten pizzas and taxis etc sent to their homes. Until the dopey cunts finally learnt what 'ex-directory' meant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)

This one time, at chinny reckon.....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:56, Reply)

JH Book of Facts - page 42 ACTUALLY
so HA! SsSSSSSSSssssSSSSSSSSS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)

That's me sussed.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Well sussed.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)

How are you, Tangers?
Long time.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Pretty good, ta.
How was your holiday?
Clear out those Cypriot banks?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)

I doubt that would have taken him long

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)

It was nice, mate.
Sun. Mountains. Diving. Doing nowt. All bases covered.

The banks were OK as long as you didn't have a Cypriot bank account. Money available to forrins but not locals. They well loves the Germans.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)

me too!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)

True story.
Hi Robert Haywood if you're reading. You still owe me a new cello bow you wanker.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)

I don't doubt that you're capable of that level of inventive cruelty
Now. But not when you were little.

Er.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I was 13.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I may have misread your original post
Shhh, I don't think anyone else noticed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)

It's fine, when he was 13 he regularly passed for 8 anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Oh hilarious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Looked like one of those
freakish midgets. You know, that look 9 from 20 metres away, but when you get a bit closer you realise the they have been shaving for 25 years and the tall fella next to them is their 23 year old son.

You know the ones?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)

I know one of those, yes.
Lives up Kilburn Way I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)

THAT'S THE ONES!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)

You are not my 23 year old son.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:07, Reply)

who is taller, kroney or stunned?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Stunned. Definitely. The lummox is about 9'8.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)

he must have a cock like a christmas chocolate log

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Only after bumming you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Well that certainly explains how Monty was able to make this comparison:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1920268
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)

It was actually a violin
but no-one had the heart to tell him...
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Robert GAYwood *I* call him!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:56, Reply)

NOBert GAY-WOULD more like!
Yuk yuk!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:57, Reply)

oh HO!
Hats is back with a limited edition!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Is he the British Eddie Murphy?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)

The skiing guy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)

Robbocop?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)

No, he was the Middlesbrough mayor

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Nah, that was a monkey

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:05, Reply)

*something about Justin Fashanu*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Dead or alive, you're bumming with me!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:04, Reply)

oh man I LOVE Pete Burns!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:08, Reply)

NO WHISKY CHAT

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:10, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)

What's there not to love?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Yeah, the Krypton Factor was great!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Serve the pubic bush
Violate the innocent
Uphold the cock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 14:09, Reply)