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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've just birthed a shit so big it had started shaving
Tell me details of your body woes
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:40, 126 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I'm too sexy

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)
How is your shirt?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
It's Calvin Klein and too big for me.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Swop sleeves with Fogsey

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Olivia Newton John's lesser knownzzzzzzz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)
i've got a bit of a sore heel, does that count?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)
I have a sore toe

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)

sore Camel
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Moose Hoof

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
No sorry, come back when we're having a HEEL CHAT thread.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Just got to the pub, meeting Stunned. This may go well or very badly.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)
You should spent some time mocking the poor.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Poor purple dorris

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
She certainly is!!!11!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Probably will.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Monty's joining you then?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
LOL

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)
Or boasting about how wealthy you are.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1923178
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Dirty Dicks?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Maybe later when they all start jousting

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Might see you later if you're still there at 5

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
We will be.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
My GF and I ended up in there on our first date
It took us a while to realise.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Bring your wellies

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
See you at 7

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Yes!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
I've actually put on weight since stopping drinking
This makes absolutely no sense.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Less vomit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
I haven't vomited from booze for about 15 years
because I'm a grown up now.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I very nearly was sick from indegestion last night. I'm getting old ;(

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
probably all that bitterness about rich people that you've been swallowing

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)
Ignorance is bliss isn't it?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Aspiration innit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Replacing delicious beer with other snack items

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I don't really think I am.
I can only assume my body has some sort of alcohol controlled metabolism.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
I know mine does

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
penguins are cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Psychochomp has put me on 2.0 again, the big poof.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
This maybe because you keep posting pictures of penguins
perhaps he's having flashbacks.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)

of penguins
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)
Pingu does sound like the kind of thing the Vietnamese would called a town

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
More hair
in unnecessary places :(
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Palmlolz

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Could you not shave it and knit a new yurt?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
There are no such things as new yurts
You can only recycle them. no-one knows where the first one came from.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Your nasal hair

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Could build yurts for everyone at Glastonbury with my fucking nasal hair.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)
Have you seen the remake of "The lady killers" with Tom Hanks in it
If so just think Mountain Girl
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
my ears got buzzed at the barbers the other day :(

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
they trimmed my eyebrows last time

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)
I imagine it's a little like being raped

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)
he did ask permission
well, he told me I had to.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)
They set fire to my ears last time I went for a haircut

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Sometimes I get the odd beard hair that is about 5 times thicker than normal and its annoying
HTH x
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
have you recently tested a teleportation device on your self and have a craving for sugar?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Holy shit I hadn't even considered that!
I fucked Geena Davis last week too!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)
You sick fuck.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
I NEEDED THE MONEY!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
That doesn't mean much though
We all did.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
I had a burp last night that was so big it hurt a little when it came out
hold me
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
did you hear tales of distant lands in it?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
It is said my burp was so thunderous as to rouse leviathan from the deeps
All manner of beast was slain
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
I farted at the weekend so violently my bumcheeks hurt when they slapped shut

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)
Anyone having a flutter on the Grand National?
Who was it who gave us a tip last time and the people who did bet won lots of moneys? I might put a quid on one just for a laugh, I don't really like to gamble because I'm a miser.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
i lost badly last year, but won the year before if that helps?
a jockey on radio 4 this morning gave a tip not to bet at all
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
I always bet a quid on a 100/1 shot
because every now and then they win. Except never when i've bet. I did an each way bet for the wife last year and she won about £3. The woman in the bookies looked at me like I was a piece of shit when I collected her winnings.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
each way bets are for girls

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)
You deserved it.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Due to incompetence I thought I'd won £300 last year
I hadn't :o(
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)
That's what you get for betting on a horse called incompetence

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
My poor horse incompetence
Failed to jump the first big fence
It made me weep for my lost winnings
I had the last laugh though
He's now dog food trimmings
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
nah it's cruel and I cry every time a horse dies.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
queer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
I've got a wet sock, meaning a wet foot. it's not nice.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)
colostomy bag split?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)
no.
Amongst all the other shit going on round here, my cellar pump has broken, so I've been wading around in horrid water with a hole in my welly.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
deliza?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
It took me a minute to decipher what the hell you were trying to say there.
Then I lolled at you.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
At not with, this time.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
but why?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)
It's called a mondegreen.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)
i see*


*i do not see
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:17, Reply)
It's "Dear Liza" not "Deliza" you oaf

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:37, Reply)
u ok hun x

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)
no. I'm really not.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
Did you remember to pre-roll?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)
no. :(

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)
Ok, don't worry, we can sort this.
Have you got any booze in your office?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Blood of your latest victim?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)
if it carries on like this, I'm going on a rampage I reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
slop?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
flop?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
Fire will sort that right out.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
I really need to get my wood burner installed

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
shove it up your cockend and shit out a chimney

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
I'll try this at once

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
I've put my boot on the radiator

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
Is this the new wellies you not long bought?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:38, Reply)
My back hurts so much I feel like I might throw up any minute : (
It's not good enough.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Better late than never, eh b3th?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)
Oh, come on!
Even i have to do some work occasionally.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)
those biros won't post themselves

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)
I don't sully myself with *biros*, thank you very much.
Best quality ceramic rollerballs here.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:19, Reply)
i bet you "sully yourself" every night

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:20, Reply)
She's more of a Mike fan

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)
This all reads like you masturbate with pens.
Or have I been on the internet for too long?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
My friend sells magic the gathering cards.
Fucking mental how much some of those get up to
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
is that high end gaming cards
they're for children
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:24, Reply)
Totally,
nice little earner though www.ebay.com/csc/Magic-the-Gathering-/19107/i.html?_stpos=&_sop=16&gbr=1&_fcid=3&_localstpos=&_clu=2&LH_Complete=1&LH_Sold=1&rt=nc
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:27, Reply)
FUCK.ME.

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:27, Reply)
what is wrong with people sporters?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Bitter that people are making money.
FOR SHAME
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:34, Reply)
They are fucking shit.
I bet you could download a picture of those cards and stick it to an old shoebox.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Copywrite infringment.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:46, Reply)
NO AKSHERLY ITS THEFT AKSHERLY!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:48, Reply)
What the blue fuck
HOW? I mean WHY? I don't know what to say, is this a joke?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:37, Reply)
I reckon you could buy one of those big collections of rares
split them up into smaller lots and make a couple of grand.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:39, Reply)
But why?
They look like the Yugio cards my son collected when he was 6
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Why do people collect anything I suppose.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:46, Reply)
Bits of card with same type of pictures
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/15-x-Yu-Gi-Oh-Cards-14-warrior-cards-1-of-which-is-a-Ultra-Rare-and-1-Spell-/190818680830?pt=UK_Collectables_TradingCards_RL&hash=item2c6dadfffe#ht_1355wt_1141
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Sounds Dodgy

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)
I get this joke.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)
Good afternoon my Zombie partner

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 16:38, Reply)

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