They've put 'healthy eating' guides in the canteent upstairs
Apparently the most meat/fish you're meant to eat in a day is the same size as your palm

Also you should use a matchbox to guide how much cheese to have
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:43, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)

WHY IS EVERYONE ON THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE A MIDGET

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)

We can't all be strapping 6 footers like you, Theo
You statuesque, Man-Mountain.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I picture our Theo like a modern day Finn McCool

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Finn Mc Phil
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

*pulls a funny face*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

He's doing a show in Bournemouth soon, apperently
I saw posters of him when I was there recently. I was quite surprised, to be honest.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Why do they have to take the joy out of everything?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I dunno if I've just got stumpy t-rex style arms but my palms are smaller than your average steak
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A STEAK
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)

These rules don't apply to you, stunnso
This is only for those planning on living past 45.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Does anyone really want to live past 45 though?
Oh great I get to slide into decrepitude and then forget who I am and who my family is and become a burden to everyone until I die, cold and alone, hated by my family, poor and bitter, shitting in a big nappy.

brb getting my revolver
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Living past 45 is easy
I've already done it so how hard can it be?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

4:45PMlolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Phew!
I was worried for a minute.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

none of these pieces of advice
have the tiniest basis in science or medicine in any way. I hope this helps, Theo
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Oh yeah, it all looked like Facebook style 'OMFG look WHEAT gives u CANCER like if you agree!!!!' bullshit

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

There are no medically validated "recommended daily amounts" of anything
meat, fat, fruit, vegetables, alcohol, water.

There are all numbers more or less plucked out of thin air. Basically. I mean, it's a bit more complicated than that, and they aren't all stupid numbers (except the fucking 8 pints of water a day one which is total horseshit) but obsessing about following that kind of advice rather misses the point by a country mile.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

They even were banging on about the food pyramid, like a 70s school text book
I'm fairly sure that got called out as bullshit too

But I mean really, palm sized meat is all you're supposed to eat? What nonsense. Like that's a standard measure. Pricks. Might complain, but I might fall into the habit of complaining, then I'll be 58 and writing to the local paper about the kids making too much noise when they play outside
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

The mere idea you can look at everyone, from a 4'9" size 6 woman
to a 6'8" rugby second row, and suggest there is a specific recommended amount for ANYTHING is why these fuckers are retards and should be fed to wild bears.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:04, Reply)

They said that I can use a 200ml plastic cup to determine how much veg to have in a portion
But I got this potato and it's too big for the mouth of the cup. WHAT NOW, SCIENCE MAN? ANSWER ME THAT, SCIENCE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Push harder.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

That's the advice you always give me
If you'd just stop tensing it'd be so much easier
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I'm just not used to one so big.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I have a friend who constantly complains about how you could put more potatoes into a bag of crisps
than the amount of potato it would have taken to make the crisps that are in there. I never know how to respond to this complaint.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Like the "5 a day"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

it's anywhere between 12 and 3 depending which country you live in
and every single one of the numbers is meaningless bollocks for a retarded populace who even have to be told not to stab themselves in the fucking face if given a knife these days.

Last one out turn off the lights, eh? This world is fucked.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:05, Reply)

The 5-a-day figure was supposedly chosen as the most likely to be palatable to the British public.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I took 5 a day to mean "eat more fruit/veg"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I like this a lot
I have often harped on about the 3 lts of water horseshit to the stupid bints in the office. But because it says so in Hello it must be right. (it was however something to do with a US Army report on the total volume of liquid and included all amounts in foods etc.)
I am sure that the guy that came out with the 28 units of alcohol per week thing said a few months back that it was a figure plucked from thin air as an amount that seemed about right
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)