Generic Weekend Plans/Lunch/Chat Thread
GO!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:41, 150 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'll probably spend it getting all upset on the internet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Me too!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Actually this is not true at all
Off to parents-in-law for beers/food, then back for taking kids swimming, then off to my parents for Sunday dinner
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)

no plans/lunch/chat chat.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)

*turns off last b3ta light and shuts door sadly*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:44, Reply)

They've put 'healthy eating' guides in the canteent upstairs
Apparently the most meat/fish you're meant to eat in a day is the same size as your palm

Also you should use a matchbox to guide how much cheese to have
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)

I'm in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)

WHY IS EVERYONE ON THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE A MIDGET

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)

We can't all be strapping 6 footers like you, Theo
You statuesque, Man-Mountain.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I picture our Theo like a modern day Finn McCool

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Finn Mc Phil
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

*pulls a funny face*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

He's doing a show in Bournemouth soon, apperently
I saw posters of him when I was there recently. I was quite surprised, to be honest.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Why do they have to take the joy out of everything?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I dunno if I've just got stumpy t-rex style arms but my palms are smaller than your average steak
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A STEAK
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)

These rules don't apply to you, stunnso
This is only for those planning on living past 45.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Does anyone really want to live past 45 though?
Oh great I get to slide into decrepitude and then forget who I am and who my family is and become a burden to everyone until I die, cold and alone, hated by my family, poor and bitter, shitting in a big nappy.

brb getting my revolver
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Living past 45 is easy
I've already done it so how hard can it be?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

4:45PMlolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Phew!
I was worried for a minute.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

none of these pieces of advice
have the tiniest basis in science or medicine in any way. I hope this helps, Theo
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Oh yeah, it all looked like Facebook style 'OMFG look WHEAT gives u CANCER like if you agree!!!!' bullshit

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

There are no medically validated "recommended daily amounts" of anything
meat, fat, fruit, vegetables, alcohol, water.

There are all numbers more or less plucked out of thin air. Basically. I mean, it's a bit more complicated than that, and they aren't all stupid numbers (except the fucking 8 pints of water a day one which is total horseshit) but obsessing about following that kind of advice rather misses the point by a country mile.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

They even were banging on about the food pyramid, like a 70s school text book
I'm fairly sure that got called out as bullshit too

But I mean really, palm sized meat is all you're supposed to eat? What nonsense. Like that's a standard measure. Pricks. Might complain, but I might fall into the habit of complaining, then I'll be 58 and writing to the local paper about the kids making too much noise when they play outside
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

The mere idea you can look at everyone, from a 4'9" size 6 woman
to a 6'8" rugby second row, and suggest there is a specific recommended amount for ANYTHING is why these fuckers are retards and should be fed to wild bears.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:04, Reply)

They said that I can use a 200ml plastic cup to determine how much veg to have in a portion
But I got this potato and it's too big for the mouth of the cup. WHAT NOW, SCIENCE MAN? ANSWER ME THAT, SCIENCE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Push harder.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

That's the advice you always give me
If you'd just stop tensing it'd be so much easier
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I'm just not used to one so big.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I have a friend who constantly complains about how you could put more potatoes into a bag of crisps
than the amount of potato it would have taken to make the crisps that are in there. I never know how to respond to this complaint.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Like the "5 a day"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

it's anywhere between 12 and 3 depending which country you live in
and every single one of the numbers is meaningless bollocks for a retarded populace who even have to be told not to stab themselves in the fucking face if given a knife these days.

Last one out turn off the lights, eh? This world is fucked.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:05, Reply)

The 5-a-day figure was supposedly chosen as the most likely to be palatable to the British public.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I took 5 a day to mean "eat more fruit/veg"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I like this a lot
I have often harped on about the 3 lts of water horseshit to the stupid bints in the office. But because it says so in Hello it must be right. (it was however something to do with a US Army report on the total volume of liquid and included all amounts in foods etc.)
I am sure that the guy that came out with the 28 units of alcohol per week thing said a few months back that it was a figure plucked from thin air as an amount that seemed about right
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Suicide/Sandwiches probably
U?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Are you like a fruitarian then, you only eat food that's committed suicide?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Well it's either a suicide sarnie, or ennui soup

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)

What's in the ennui soup?
*shrug*
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)

:D

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Haha

( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:26, Reply)

i'm going to do a budget!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Alright Gideon, can I have 50p off a pint please?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Nope, make homebrew like winners.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:52, Reply)

I keep thinking about starting a homebrew, but then I read 'simple' recipes that 'don't require special equipment' and they all start with 'right get your live yeast starter mixed in your type l5 500ml scientific retort'
And it seems like there's a lot to do
Mead by comparison is slow but fuckin' simple
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I want to make some mead
How did it turn out? Tasty? And what sort of strength would it say it was?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

It didn't turn out as well as I hoped it would, cos I fucked it up at the start
It was meant to be orange flavoured but the oranges just formed a raft at the top so it didn't taste of anything but mead. But it's nice enough.

I've had a few bottles laid down for a year now, might bust them out and see if they've improved.

Erm the one I made was mid teens percentage? Probably
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

It is a patient man's game, isn't it
I've still got a couple of links that you recommended, I think. Perhaps I'll give it a go this summer.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

That's the bonus with beer.
Usually good within a month.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Yeah, mead took 2 months to clear

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I've got some tea wine going at the moment.
I think it'll be fermenting for the next decade.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Get something like this
www.brew2bottle.co.uk/coopers-european-lager-40-pints.html?gclid=CJ2dkdTuxLYCFfQetAodGUEA3w
Then all you'll need is 1kg sugar, a fermenting bin, a syphon, a thermometer, and some bottles (coke bottles work at a push)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Huh might give it ago
Got 24 beer bottles hanging around from the Mead experiment, so that wouldn't be an issue (nice resealable ones like old fashioned lemonade ones)
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Have you got a hydrometer?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Nah, I ain't got anything other than a siphon, couple of 5l demijohns, some muslin and airlocks

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:05, Reply)

INFIDEL!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Oh right, you'll need a bucket then, with a hole for an airlock
Most beer comes in at 23l a batch, you'll need a 25l or 33l bin so you can slosh it around and the foam doesn't come out the top.
They're like £15 at most.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Righto
Come payday, I'll get on this
Then become best at making beer
Then start my own company
Like BrewDog, except I won't be a cunt
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Gaz me up if you need any advice.
If you can afford this (and can get one in Ireland) www.the-home-brew-shop.co.uk/acatalog/Home_Brew_Irish_Stout_Starter_kit.html?gclid=CKfEv5LzxLYCFdQctAodwD8AYg
I'd go for that. It's got all the equipment you'll need.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Cool, might do
I think that's where I got me bottles from
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Actually having a quick look for Irish places
www.homebrewwest.ie/brewsmarter-premium-starter-beer-kit-best-value-844-p.asp
That's a good price, because you get a heat belt, they usually cost £20ish on their own.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Oh no, it was them
What's a heat belt? Just maintains temperature in the bucket?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Yeah, just like a mild heater that keeps the beer at a constantish temperature.
Speeds everything up and makes it less likely the yeast will die.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Oh and don't believe the instructions at all.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Or if you're feeling flasher, get a two tin kit.
www.brew2bottle.co.uk/beer-and-cider-making-kits/bitters-and-traditional-ales/midas-touch-golden-ale-kit.html
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Our work are laying on lunch today
Hog roast. FFS.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)

There'll probably be some bread or something that you can eat.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Yeah, if there's one thing that purveyors of spit-roasted meat are known for
it's their excellent vegetarian options
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)

So, you're saying that you're the fruit at a spit roast?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:04, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Oh very good
You cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Well, if you weren't such a pathetic vegetablist Mary
this wouldn't be a problem, would it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Crackling isn't meat.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I think you've misunderstood how vegetarianism works.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Badly.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)

TERRIBLE!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Serves you right for being a vegesexual idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

*points and laughs*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

JUST EAT IT
WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

I suppose the whole thing could fall on him, pinning him to the ground and covering his clothing with pig fat
and then all his colleagues, instead of helping, just laugh at him and then it turns out that his skin has some weird allergic reaction to it and he comes out in disfiguring hives and ultimately sinks into such crippling depression that the only light at the end of the tunnel appears to be suicide, only he gets that wrong and takes a massive overdose of paracetamol and dies slowly and painfully from liver failure over the course of several days and then no one comes to his funeral.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

But, y'know, you've got to remain optimistic.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

that could happen equally easily even if he doesn't eat it, though.
Let's not narrow this down.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)

There doesn't have to be a control group for every single aspect of life, badge.
Jesus, you scientists.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Jesus
I can't risk that sort of thing happening to me or my family....Maybe I should re-think this whole veggie thing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)

But then what if we get trapped under a pumpkin or a marrow
I mean, those things can grow to enormous sizes. Fucking hell, this is a culinary mine field.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

You've read The Enormous Turnip, I take it?
A cautionary tale, if ever there was.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Click
Ironically
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)

but pig is tasty

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

How can people even think about being vegetarian
when pigs taste so bloody good?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

I've got a horrible confession to make
My mum's turned vegetarian :(
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:07, Reply)

*something about that's not how you eat a cucumber*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Oh god, I'm so sorry
Is she still happy to cook it?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Yeah, think so
I'm so upset, I made sure to tell her it was an eating disorder, then she got cross. I don't understand, everything's gone wrong
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)

What will Christmas be like, Theo?
WHAT WILL CHRISTMAS BE LIKE????
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Hopefully it'l be at me grans so it'll be the proper business
If it's not I might pretend I'm working and just stay here
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Ah, Gran saves the day
Loads of high fat, rich food is the one thing I look forward to at Chrimble. Take that away and...well...I don't even want to think about it.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Yeah, I want to be so bloated and full of rich food and wines that all I can do is mumble at my irritating relatives instead of the usual 'telling them to shut up with their stupid opinions'

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Hog spit
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

IM OFF TO SEE THAT TOM CRUISE FILUM TONIGHT, BET ITS SHIT
SOUTHAMPTON STAG DO FOR SATURDAY I KNOW THATLL BE SHIT
KOREAN PLACE IN HOLBORN ON SUNDAY, HOPE THAT AINT SHIT
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Please let me know how shit it is, I can put up with a nominal amount of shit if there's space ships in it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

ROGER ROGER

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:11, Reply)

It's derivative shit.
None of the actors appear to believe it either.

Tom Cruise runs in it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Thank you Paul Ross.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

"can't catch me gay thoughts"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

OHH LOOK AT ME IVE SEEN A FILUM ONCE TOO

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Yeah, prick.
You haven't even seen it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)

Does it have a car chase in the film?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:10, Reply)

I CAN BUT HOPE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:11, Reply)

I bet it aint gonna be as good as the one in "Blues Brothers"

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I have a guitar to assess/start mending -if it's repairable I'll be dismantling it on Saturday
Lunch today is highly likely to be liquid, there may also be curry involved.
I'm looking at a new flat on Sunday.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)

What kind of guitar?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:12, Reply)

It's a mid-range acoustic
The action's terrible and I think the owner believed that the truss rod was there to adjust the action so he cranked it up to near breaking point.
If it's salveageable I'll get the neck off and reset the angle - it needs some new frets too.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I want an acoustic again
The head snapped off my last one :o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Depending on the complexity of the break and the worth of the guitar* - that's repairable
Sometimes they break at the scarf joint and that's an easy repair.

*If it's a £100 plywood GLO** there's no point in a repair

*Guitar-Like Object
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:46, Reply)

GLO

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Ah well
There's some good guitars out there for around the £200 mark - go round your local music shops and play some - I'm sure you'll find one you like.
If you're after something a bit different I have an Ovation double-neck for sale.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

If my spdt switches turn up, I might be doing some guitar repairs myself

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Leeds to see the other half, planning to head to the Media Museum, should be a good way to waste an afternoon.
No pub chat from me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

alright
I'm in Leeds doing overtime if you fancy a pint.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)

IN TEH NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS??
FIVER A PINT YOU MUST BE JOKING
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:12, Reply)

man goes to bar
Man buys most expensive draught beer served in bar.

Man complains about price of beer, online.

Man vows never to return to bar.

Maybe man should not have bought most expensive beer, just saying like.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:28, Reply)

Man wasn't aware that was most expensive pint.
Is now aware of mistake, won't make it again.

Damn good pint though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Shall have a see and let you know

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

That's the way AA, let him down gently.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Yeah like I'm going to tell you lot

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Go on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:12, Reply)

*looks into the mad eyes and shaving related scar*
Fun times for me I'm decorating the bathroom over the weekend
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)

mad eyes :o(

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

rapey eyes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:28, Reply)

Tired eyes
Rapey cock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Kim Carnes lesser known follow uzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Now I REALLY want to know

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Why did I read this as Spice Girl lyrics

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

I think we both know the answer to that, HH

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I shall probably engage in some masturbation
"Wanking doesn't get tougher than this"
(_Battered_, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)

"I'm getting vinegar and hints of Japanese"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:10, Reply)

'It's too lumpy & not sweet enough for my taste. You'll need to improve the flavour of your jism if you get through to the next round'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)

"That's a lovely mouthful of food"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

'Cor! Yeah! This is my sort of jus. Creamy, yet light. I don't like the way you've splattered it on the plate though'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

"That biscuit is a bit soggy"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

*needs to work on presentation*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

"Too much dry ice"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

starts a Pineapple enriched diet

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

'I see what you've tried to do with that shortbread, but icing a biscuit like that doesn't work for me I'm afraid'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I might go to Tibet

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE WOAH-OH
check 'em
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

How does it feel?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

When you treat me like you do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I will be replumbing in a washing machine
as it appears I am too dim witted to do it correctly first time, as evidenced by my flooded kitchen last night.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 11:23, Reply)