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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fruit Woes II
Hartley Hare asks 'ever had any fruit woes? Tell us about your fruit woes'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:50,
150 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I'll start.
I once had a mildly disappointing satsuma.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:51,
Reply)
Well you're never going to get the best quality when you scavenge your fruit about of the bins at the back of Lidl.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:56,
Reply)
I had one recently that was bitter and the flesh in the middle was chewy
I'm telling you right now....I contemplated suicide.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
Has it come to this?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:52,
Reply)
i'm going to kill myself
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:53,
Reply)
Should one of us gaz Poppet or something?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:55,
Reply)
yes, but she's only got fifteen minutes
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:56,
Reply)
Good luck getting a reply out of that lazy bogan in such a short amount of time.
The flamin' galah.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:57,
Reply)
if she's not watching prisoner cell block h it'll be the sullivans
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
Or 'The Young Doctors'
Hot damn that shit was dope.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
that country truly has a rich televisual heritage
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
Was Sons & Daughters Australian?
You're right...they have had some TV gems* in the past.
*
cancer
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:08,
Reply)
It sure was!
And
what a theme tune!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:11,
Reply)
*punches air*
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:14,
Reply)
Haha
I was
so close!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:15,
Reply)
Yer, i've got the theme choon iin my head now :((
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:11,
Reply)
Soooons and Daughteeeerss
Der der each other, der der something something and happineeeeeesss!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:14,
Reply)
Porkylips is on it now.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:57,
Reply)
He wishes he was 'on it'.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:58,
Reply)
He makes me feel a little bit ill
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
...in a sexy way
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
him and bartleby could give her a right good roasting
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
She'll well outside his 'area of specialist interest' these days
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
Tee hee
fresh Mangoes are not really a fruit to try and eat at the desk
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:58,
Reply)
I no longer have a desk but must sit in a team "neighbourhood"
Fucking stupid idea.
We get free fruit on Wednesday, but I'm never in on a Wednesday : (
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:01,
Reply)
Woah, free fruit?
What sort of thing do they lay on?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
I'm going to a Google conference tomorrow morning
If I don't get free cumqauts and a Segway I'm gonna kick off.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
Cumquat may Monty B
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
I don't get it
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
Have I ever had a cumquat?
I mean...I must have, right? Hmm...I wonder if I like them.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
Oh you think they're just divine
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:08,
Reply)
Phew....well that's a relief
Cheers Montz.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:09,
Reply)
Bananas, apples, grapes, plums, tangerines, pears, all sorts really
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
Nice
The only time free food gets thrown around at work is birthday cakes and a summer BBQ. I swear they're trying to kill us off.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
I'll bet when you're on your hols you eat it by the case.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
GOD YOU'RE SO THICK
How can you not get a reference to a Kellogg's Fruit and Fibre television ad from when you were about 6??? YOU MORON!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:09,
Reply)
WTN
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:10,
Reply)
Sometimes I despair for that boy I really do.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:12,
Reply)
What more can you realistically expect of a bent spastic though?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:12,
Reply)
If only I was fucking ancient like you two eh?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:13,
Reply)
39 is not ancient.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:23,
Reply)
Good old 'Grant Mitchell'
What a career he's had.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:13,
Reply)
You and he have something in common.
Both beaten up by ex girlfriends.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:14,
Reply)
'Both really tough and cool', you mean.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:15,
Reply)
'both having an unhealthy homo erotic interest in men in military uniforms' more like.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
*tells more lies*
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
Sweet, little ones?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
Nope, BIG FAT WHOPPERS!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
The likes of which neither the internet, nor Fleetwood Mac, have EVER SEEN!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
PHWOARRRR
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
no.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
Just saw your reply
Not good...I'm sure you'd be sad to see the back of it, but maybe a career change is in order? At the risk of sounding like my Dad, you're young enough to pull it off. So to speak.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
Oh no what's happened?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
They found Windy's meth lab in the basement of his pub
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
Did they pin that murder on him too?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:14,
Reply)
I'm not at liberty to say
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:16,
Reply)
Sad times for the Oxford pub going massive.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:19,
Reply)
Oh, it's a scene, man
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
yeah,
I'm looking at where I can go with the skill set I have without taking a large pay cut.
Without any uni it's a little tough.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:24,
Reply)
Once you've been working for more than a couple of years, in most cases university is irrelevant
It's not the hindrance you think it is, I reckon. Having some nebulous specialist knowledge of an academic subject (like I do) isn't worth shit compared with a proven track record of work.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:30,
Reply)
I sympathise
Could you re-train while you work, maybe? Part time course or something? Depends what you want to do I guess.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
maybe,
i've been looking at apprenticeships, but I'd have to work another job to keep my income at a sustainable level.
I mean, i could sell the house, buy a smaller house, and afford the pay cut, but i think ladypig wouldn't be happy.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:41,
Reply)
No, that seems like a last resort
Any chance of working in a bigger place, where you can take a bit more of a back seat, but for the same money? Sorry, sounds a bit fantastic, but just a thought.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:46,
Reply)
it's possible,
to be honest, my best bet is to get in with one of the colleges, get on a more settled rota, and then get in to the OU for something i really want to do. Although, this might all settle down in a couple of days and i just go back to doing what i've always done
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
Stop killing your patrons and it'll get better in time.
Stay strong hun x x
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:10,
Reply)
If they learned to keep their mouths shut, maybe he wouldn't HAVE to kill them
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:14,
Reply)
Red apples give me the fear
Oranges that when peeled are all pith
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:10,
Reply)
I keep getting whifs of a nice moisturiser smell
but I've not got any on this morning.
Oh hang on, I've just realise, I had to wear Lynx this morning as I couldn't find my other deodorant.
As you were.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:14,
Reply)
Lynx?
Nasty.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:15,
Reply)
It's not as bad as you might think.
But I don't really like wearing scented deodorant generally.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
I always wear unperfumed.
I bet you're glad to know that eh?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:21,
Reply)
Why do you have lynx in your house?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:22,
Reply)
Christmas present from the in laws innit
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:23,
Reply)
I got that too.
binned it the first chance I got.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:32,
Reply)
Why do Al's in-laws get you a Christmas present?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
Just how many b3tans did Al's inlaws give that shit to, then?
And why didn't they give me any?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
Stroke the new fragrance by lynx
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
why did ANDREW MARR etc
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
'cos he fucking stinks
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
I GOT SOME FROM THEM TOO!!!!
(
Gerald was innocent, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
how old do they think you are?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
They've heard his political views and made a guess that's he's about 15.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
ZING!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
My in laws took me skiing for my Christmas present
I can only assume that Al's inlaws must hate him
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:38,
Reply)
They're only human.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:38,
Reply)
It's the fragrance du jour down at the Spires
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:25,
Reply)
A grape killed my family
(
woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
* something about wrath *
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:22,
Reply)
Come on guys!!!
Fruit woes, yeah? THINK! You
must have something funny to tell.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
i keep getting random needle like stabbing pains in my ear if that helps
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
Brain tumour.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
only in my brain is in my outer ear canal
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:38,
Reply)
We can't rule this out at this stage.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:39,
Reply)
You have a lychee in your ear.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:38,
Reply)
Have you checked your ear for random needles?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:40,
Reply)
I have no tales of woe to tell.
Fruit brings me nothing but joy.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
*banana-in-tailpipe-lols*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
My missus wrote 'SURPRISE BANANA' on a banana and snuck it into my lunchbox once
I was quite surprised by it, so that could be a 'woe' sort of.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:39,
Reply)
stop the internet
twosie has won
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:40,
Reply)
I was going to post the photo I took of it
But I appear to have lost my fucking phone. WHICH ONE OF YOU PRICKS HAS MY PHONE?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:41,
Reply)
DISTRACTION BANANA
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:43,
Reply)
'Sok, I found it, soz
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:43,
Reply)
i lost my wallet twice in two days
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:45,
Reply)
but did you get a banana?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:48,
Reply)
Stay About from El Segundo
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
Tony in work had GAY CUNT written on his
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:41,
Reply)
Wow his wife really hates him eh
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:42,
Reply)
Yep
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:43,
Reply)
Woah
That's pretty agressive
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:44,
Reply)
I bet it had been up her
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:42,
Reply)
Yet she still managed to write on it
That is one talented minge
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:44,
Reply)
fanny stamp-
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:46,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1934471
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
cranberries are fucking awful little hollow shits
cranberry sauce fooled me :(
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:39,
Reply)
Proper cranberry sauce is fucking excellent
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:43,
Reply)
I think secretly everyone hates pomegranate but no-one will admit it.
The juice is alright but those little sacs that cunts put in salads are fucking queer.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:44,
Reply)
Pomegranates come under the "too much work for not enough reward" fruit umbrella
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:45,
Reply)
I thought I liked pomegranate, so I bought one
It was awful
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:45,
Reply)
pomegranate is good in cous cous
/Darth
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:47,
Reply)
stick your finger in first.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:49,
Reply)
Fruitplay
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:50,
Reply)
i've got a coconut story.
But this isn't nut thread.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:48,
Reply)
Terrible trolling here - you know full well that a coconut isn't a nut.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:49,
Reply)
it worked.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
where?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
I imagine that nut thread could be just as successful as this one though.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
i dunno, seems a little specific
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
It could be widened to include tree nuts, ground nuts, legumes, etc.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
Snickers?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
I didn't think it was that funny.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:59,
Reply)
god you're thick
Botanically speaking, a coconut is a fibrous one-seeded drupe, which is a fruit with a hard stony covering enclosing the seed
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:49,
Reply)
I'll tell you who else has a one seeded drupe
I dunno like lance armstrong or someone
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
HITLER LOL!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
I often buy a bag of fruit
eat one or two and then the rest go manky. :(
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:48,
Reply)
Redcurrants last about 30 seconds before going mouldy
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:50,
Reply)
best of all the currants
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
If you eat them in 29 seconds
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
They wouldn't be So Solid then
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
Well if you will insist on filling up on Rustlers, you won't have room for fuit afterwards.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
Don't forget the takeout pizza
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:09,
Reply)
watermelons are rubbish
I'm trying hard man
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:50,
Reply)
incorrect
althought their seeds are annoying
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
polystyrene soaked in weak ribena
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
Do you always get the pips under your foreskin too?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
THIS IS GOOD STUFF HERE
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
new (non-fruit based) thread.
you are welcome.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
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