1 in 4 adults in Croydon and the same proportion of children is MORBIDLY OBESE.
Not 'a bit chubby', not 'fat', but 'fat enough to be life-threatening'. The council are considering banning new fast-food outlets because of course it's their fault. Not that keen-eyed businessfolk have seen the unquenchable demand in the CR postcode area for halal chicken and revolting pizzas and have responded by (literally) catering to it.

What I don't understand is how a child has anough time to become that fat. Getting my daughter to sit still enough to get even a moderately-sized meal down her is challenge enough.

I blame COMPUTERS. And ASYLUM SEEKERS.

EDITED FOR THE SIMPLE: what do you think about this?

Alt: today is Halal Fried Chicken Thursday. Peace to my Croydon niggaz in the pen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:22, 202 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Where's the question you Deacon?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:23, Reply)

Oh yeah
aint they trying to shut down the fast food joints in Croyden?





Nice stomp
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:26, Reply)

The number of outlets has doubled in 5 years.
All they're proposing is not allowing any more. There are something like 500 of the places already open. I fail to see how the weight will be dropping off the lard-guzzling tubs of shit just by ensuring that there are only 500 places for them to stuff their oily maws with filth.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:29, Reply)

Can they not just shut the Anne Summers warehouse
and turn it into a fat farm?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:32, Reply)

With the increase in home technology, kids are now more likely to sit inside and play, rather than going out and running around
Then again, whilst I feel that has undoubtedly contributed to the weight gain, I think the majority is simply down to the parents not having a fucking clue about nutrition, and simply buying the cheap stuff, then letting their kids snack all fucking day.

Not had fried chicken in ages, mind.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:28, Reply)

Alright lad?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:34, Reply)

Getting better thanks fella, yourself?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Life's pretty fucking good for me.
Apart from the usual financial pressures I'm a happy chappie on the whole.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:43, Reply)

chappy chappie on the whole.

n utter bell end.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:44, Reply)

Good good, glad to hear it!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:36, Reply)

I think
Your face: my arse.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:28, Reply)

I think
Your breath: a camel's fart
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:29, Reply)

I blame Bartleby. Parents don't want their kids outside, so they're getting fat staying indoors to avoid the creepy nonce.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:29, Reply)

I guess they're using BMI for this?
Young kids should be a bit chubby, it helps them when they're ill (they can lose weight very quickly if really ill).
Also, can't blame it on poverty-takeaway food ain't cheap. ..

Probably comes down to the usual, parents who won't or more likely can't be arsed to spend any time with their kids and just pack them off to their room with their Xbox and a pizza.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:30, Reply)

No idea which airline they're using sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:33, Reply)

*groan*
BMI Baby, surely?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:36, Reply)

I've had the Chorlton and the Wheelies theme tune stuck in my head for about a month now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:34, Reply)

I had "There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis" stuck in my head yesterday
Made more infuriating by the fact I barely know any of the words.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:38, Reply)

I like the Propellerheads remix of that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:44, Reply)

YOUUUUUU STUPID GREAT OAF!!!!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:41, Reply)

Jump in we'll take you for a spin
and show you round the Wheelie World.
Hop on, it's fun to come along and take a look at Wheelie World.
You'll be surprised how good it feels
To zoom around all day and wheel so merrily with me,
You don't need a ticket, for we'll take you round for free
And if you see the witch Fenella don't be worried,
'Cos there's no cause for alarm (ha ha ha ha!)
'Cos we've got Chorlton who's the dragon who will keep you free from harm (ho ho ho ho!)
It's fun at any time of year,
So put your wheels in second gear
And hold tight
Alright?
We'll show you all the sights of Wheelie World!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:49, Reply)

hehe, a dragon with a Wigan accent.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:56, Reply)

is there only the one dragon?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Yes
You're maybe confusing it with Ivor the Engine, there's two in that.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:11, Reply)

so when wigan dragan dies, the witch will Fuck their shit right up.
A single saviour for an entire nation. Sounds a bit like religious propaganda to me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:13, Reply)

It's unusual for the dragon to be the good guy, that's for sure.
Other than Pete's Dragon and Toothless, can't think of another good one offhand.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Puff.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:20, Reply)

The Clangers had the best dragon

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:12, Reply)

bullshit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:13, Reply)

OK what is the best one then?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Button Moon.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:15, Reply)

The dragon that did a guest appearance in Mr Ben would have kicked that dragon’s arse

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Only if your entire diet is soup and blue string pudding

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:15, Reply)

EGGSactly

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I blame stupid, ignorant low caste scum. They breed on each other like rabbits because they have nothing else to look forward to in life
except maybe the odd passing riot because they're even too lazy too embark on a life of crime. Christ, what state has the country got into where you're being slowly suffocated by overweight dole scum because the indolent sacks of shit are too fucking shiftless to throw a brick through a fucking Dixons window?

In response, the fucking local government has to seek out alternatives to people being responsible fucking human beings and impose further restrictions on business owners who're already fighting through the worst recession in living memory.

Here's an idea, you fat fucking cunts, stop throwing KFC down your disgusting, lard-wrapped gullets and stick a johnny on once in a while, eh?

Yours, Richard Littlejohn.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Stop sitting on the fence, say what you mean.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Leave us leporids out of it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:40, Reply)

I'm sorry, I thought I had.
LOLOL
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:41, Reply)

Hey did you check this out?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-22130854
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:44, Reply)

I hear ya bro.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:43, Reply)

I might have KFC today.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:59, Reply)

It's the dewey decimal system, I'm telling you
When will you all realise??
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:45, Reply)

I blame the judicial system

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:47, Reply)

I blame the Sega Master System

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:50, Reply)

I finally got to test out my 'new' wah-wah pedal last night.
You know what TH? For £16.99 it's jolly decent. No worse than the Dunlop one I had in the 80s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:48, Reply)

Nice!
Have you seen the new (ish) EHX one? No moving parts...pretty clever. Not something I would buy, but I'm impressed with the innovation.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:49, Reply)

Nope I am waaaay out of touch with guitar technology.
Same as I am with DJing innovations. I am basically an old git, stuck in the past.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:51, Reply)

Fair enough
You should check out some of the EHX videos on Youtube. 1) Some of their pedals are really fun, 2) the guy that runs the company looks like he was created by Jim Henson's Muppet Workshop.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I'm gonna look too.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Let's all meet there!
We can have a latte afterwards!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:03, Reply)

I don't drink coffee TH, you know that, why are you being like this?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Alright, I'll buy you a hot chocolate then
JEEZ!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I want a green tea.
With Lemon.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I don't think they do any of that fancy stuff.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:13, Reply)

then we can go somewhere that does.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:15, Reply)

I'll have a rooibos earl grey, please

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:34, Reply)

will do, ta

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:04, Reply)

I don't really mind if people want to eat themselves to death.
I suppose that lazy, fat people tend to have lazy, fat children.
Man hands on misery to man.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:48, Reply)

Woah
deep, man
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I'm only Larkin around.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:57, Reply)

oh v good

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Why do a disproportionate amount of blacks look tubby? Is it due to socio economic factors or is it cos I is well racist?
fried chicken and watermelons etc etc
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:55, Reply)

And why did all those Ethiopian kids have such fat bellies if they were supposed to be starving?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:58, Reply)

And they got to sit out in the sun doing fuck all all day
Malingering cunts
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:59, Reply)

that's not true, they're keeping teh flies away from the crops

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Oh god
I really shouldn't have written that letter to Geldof.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:01, Reply)

I know right, all this "Mulatu has to walk five miles every day just to get fresh water" business.
It's not like he has a job to go to or anything, he's got plenty of time to make the trip and still be back in time for Grange Hill.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Grange Hill is still on in Ethiopia?
The get all the best stuff man.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:02, Reply)

They're so lucky

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Not really fair, is it?
The weather is good there and all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:05, Reply)

He's a kid! He SHOULD be walking five miles each day!
Kids don't get enough exercise as it is, with their XS3's, and their Playboxes and such.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:02, Reply)

Precisely.
They don't want to end up like those kids in Croyden.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:04, Reply)

are
I think it should be "are morbidly obese"

I blame all the processed shut people eat full of salt and shit. We had a veg patch as a kid, meaning food budgets could stretch to better quality meats and stuff as we saved on veg. I wonder how many kids whos parents have an allotment are fat?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:57, Reply)

That and people (and therefore supermarkets) insisting that all veg must look perfect
despite the fact that the shape has nothing to do with the taste, if you're going to slice/dice/mash it anyway, so what?
Loads of veg gets chucked/sent for animal feed unnecessarily cos of being less than perfect.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:05, Reply)

I like my vegetables as suggestive as possible.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:06, Reply)

I'm feeling suggestible already
/Blackwood
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Well shape does have some bearing on your eating experience.
Otherwise why would you bother to slice, dice or Madge(?) everything?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Smaller pieces cook faster
No idea why my phone thinks mash should be Madge!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:13, Reply)

You are wrong, WP, soz.
*One* is.
One (in four) is.
Not 'one' are.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:07, Reply)

but...
You're actually talking about plural "one" in that context means many.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Pardon?
One means 'one'. You're talking utter bollocks now I'm afraid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:13, Reply)

GRAMMAR FIGHT!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:14, Reply)

In this context it means 25% of the population.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:14, Reply)

It means one person in four FFS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Who is this person?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:19, Reply)

The fat one.
Jesus wept can someone else help me out here? Someone with a basic command of English?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Oh I get it now, you evil trolls.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:22, Reply)

not tolling, you're wrong.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Dude, you can't even spell 'trolling'.
Which of us is likely to be right here? You're the stats man here. Come on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Sorry 'which of us are likely to be right'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I wasn't really arguing for substituting 'are' for 'is', just y'know, fanning the flames, as it were...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Oh sorry, didn't recognise you for a minute there, Monty.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:21, Reply)

LOL
Well I have put on a lot of weight since I moved down here to Croydon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:22, Reply)

I blame Chicken Thursday.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Chicken Fri-Weds haven't helped either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:25, Reply)

one in four
Children in croydon. Does not mean one child though does it you spastic
unless this whole thread is a personal attack.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Of course it fucking does.
One child out of every four children. One of them is obese out of every four.

Is it National Retard Day today or something?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:19, Reply)

if i have 200 drug pills. And then invite Barry round one in four drug pills ARE taken.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I like how you have framed this in terms Monty can easily understand.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Yes Chompy
One pill are taken. I see that now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:25, Reply)

50 pills is taken.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:26, Reply)

One = singular. Fifty = plural.
Surely even you know this?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:28, Reply)

yes
You're correct. If you totally ignore the context. One singular. One in four plural.
This is what you get when you learn grammar by repeating rules not actually thinking.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:31, Reply)

One in four NOT plural
The context that one (a singular entity) out of four (a group of four, a plural) is obese. One of them is. Not one of them are. It's almost frighteningly simple and you aren't an actual retard so I know you're just winding me up and I'm not falling for it (any more).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Yes, but they didn't just survey 4 kids and find one fat one, did they?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)

DON'T YOU FUCKING START,
They surveyed all of them and if you break them down into groups of four, out of that group of four one of them IS fat.

Now fuck off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I doubt they surveyed all of them.
More likely a sample group, then the figures scaled up.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:44, Reply)

IF The four represents more than four.
THEN the one represents more than one.
THEREFORE plural
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:40, Reply)

EXACTLY
It's a statistical description, not a quantity.

Oh. ...quantities, I see the difficulty now.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

According to Nakers list of days
April the 18th is “World Heritage Day”


I’m not sure how accurate his list is though, as it has neither “Chicken Thursday” or “Coincidence Day” in it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)

well colour me corrected.
It just didn't scan right in my head, probably all the terrible teachers I've had over the years.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I got fat as soon as I left home as I found out that I could eat sausages for every meal and no-one would tell me off
I don't blame anyone just my own weak will and desire for sausages
( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:26, Reply)

see, the chicken talk up there had me craving KFC,
Now this sausages talk is making me rethink that.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Have chicken sausages

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:30, Reply)

if these exist, I shall seek them out.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Such a beast does exist

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I blame Lionel Richie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:06, Reply)

Hello, Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Hello, Monty.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Was it him you were looking for?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Halal, is it meat you're looking for?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Damn, zing on the ceiling

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I exploded my fertilizer factory
In your mum last night.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Sounds good.
Can you post a picture of it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I really like fat kids.
And unemployed people with lots of fat kids.

If you know of any can you please let me have their details as I would like to purchase a 3D TV and 36 month Sky subscription for them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Morning Bartleby

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Morning, HH.
Have you seen that kid I was noncing?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:27, Reply)

It may look child like
But it was in fact Battered
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Were you always a fat kid ?
Is that what attracted you to Lewisham?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)

I only got fat because everytime I fuck your Mum she gives me a biscuit.
The AIDS clinic attracted me to Lewisham.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I'm glad that you've finally found a real woman, not like all those tramps you've been hanging around with. They haven't been after you for your triple chin after all, they're only after your money babygirl.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Your Mum seems to know an awful lot of Lewisham working girls for a "real woman".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

yer, what of it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Son. Of. A. Whore.
Just sayin'.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Dusty Springfields ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:48, Reply)

and now your lover babygirl

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:51, Reply)

she's looking well for 68

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I went to the gym this morning, can I have a biscuit now?
ALT: CHICKEN THURSDAY CHICKEN THURSDAY CHICKEN
( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:25, Reply)

THURSDAY

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I am not having chicken today.
Soz.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:27, Reply)

You can do an ye wish young stunned
I mean, it's your choice if you want to BURN in the HOLY FIRES of FRIED CHICKEN for all eternity. By all means, don't have chicken, your choice.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:28, Reply)

No pressure here then?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:36, Reply)

None at all, do what you like, ain't no pressure
Except in the HOLY PRESSURE FRIERS of our SACRED KFC
( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Yes but did you do anything The Oban?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Yeah I moved my legs on the bike thing and then moved my arms and legs on the runny thing

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:30, Reply)

you'll lose weight faster if you combine cardiovascular work with weights.
And those funny machines are like a playground. But heavy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:31, Reply)

I'm doing weights at home cos I have terrible tiny little arms and the machines are always used by big men who like to do one rep then look at themselves in the mirror for half an hour

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

fair enough.
I've managed to befriend one of the giant men, and am scared they might drug me or something and force me to be like them. I'm scared.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:35, Reply)

They'll start shouting about gains at you and calling you maggot
Then they'll put an arm tenderly around you as you lift, and you'll know that all is safe in the world
( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)

HOW MANY REPS MAN ??? WERE YOU PUMPING IT YO ??? HOW MANY PHIALS OF STERIODS ARE YOU ON A DAY MAN ?????

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

EVERY STEROID
I've also been hoovering weight gain powder with my bum bum
( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Yeah frankly that's almost impressive
This achievement will be justly rewarded with a fatal heart attack. Survival of the fittest. En Sabah Nur was right.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Geek.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:38, Reply)

You got it though :-)

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Only with the help of Google.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:42, Reply)

That's cheating

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Help me DF, you seem to have paid attention in school.
I'm being trolled half to death on a simple grammtical point up there ^
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:43, Reply)

You deserve it you thread stomping cunt :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)

You are correct.
They are talking shite.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:48, Reply)

They *is* talking shite.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Haha troll-cunt

( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Hahaha. Quite.
Is their shite talking extrapolated from a statistical sample thus bending the laws of grammar and physics?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I know this. They're just winding me up.
It's not fair, dad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Ignore the nasty men.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:54, Reply)

how was the fitba?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I think Croydon is the anus of the South and should be allowed to explode is a fatty white mess
Alt:
This sounds like a remarkably good idea for lunch - I'm in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)

the anus of the south is Southampton.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:46, Reply)

So is Croyden the small of the back then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:49, Reply)

"The Road To Grimsby"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Actually, I've changed my mind.
The fat people can simply be herded into a reservation and left to live out their days in swine-like happiness.

However, the ONE out of four that has no command of basic English IS a fucking spastic. As ARE the 25% of the same.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Now you're doing it wrong.
It should be "the one in four who have no command of basic English are fucking spastics"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:52, Reply)

That has.
I have the presence of mind to correct my own grammatical errors and not insist I'm right when I'm clearly not.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I heard you were the one in ten.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:52, Reply)

A number on a list.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Even though I don't exist

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Someone needs a statistical reminder

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

yeah we wish

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

I'm like Keyser fucking Söze

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:02, Reply)

The singular of a quadroplex whom doth hath removed admirality of the basicology of the English linguistics do be rutting Joeys

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:57, Reply)

FINALLY someone who can tork proper.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:59, Reply)

like wot I does

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)

I've started a huge inter-departmental squabble over a new client.
They asked for a new email address. I said "Hi, I notice you've already got a mailbox with multiple different email addresses for different clients on it, how about I set up a new email on that one?"

It seems this is causing the world to end. I'm now simply looking on in growing disbelief as middle-aged women squabble like children over who should be responsible.

"I don't WANT THEM"
"I don't want them EITHER"
"You SMELL"
"You smell MORE"

It's kind of pathetic.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:57, Reply)

you should fuck them

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

he already has

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:59, Reply)

that's why they're so angry :(

( Theoban What of it, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Funny you should say that. One of them gets drunk at office parties and flirts embarrassingly with me.
I put it down to drink until I was fixing some cabling under her desk, at which point she commented about having me on the floor underneath her and I vomited all over her shoes.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)

officelol
+ click
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:08, Reply)

We all have alias SMTP addresses here
Mine is clown@ but we also have cuntface@

IT LOLS TO MAXIMUM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Mine's "Grumbledore"
because I'm always complaining about the users' intelligence.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Oooh
I like this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:11, Reply)

i've certainly had "anough" of this shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)

A child has 'anough' - some children have 'enough'
Didn't they teach you this at school?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha.
Clickin' dis.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:02, Reply)

thousands of pounds wasted

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)

He'll go off in anough in a minute.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Ignore are for cunts.
More than one cunt, innit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:04, Reply)

shit yeah,
best change it quick
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)

You could of spelled that betterer.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:02, Reply)

irregardless of my grammer your still rong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Could of - SHOULD OF

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Thanks "Beverley Knight"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Soz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)