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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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In light of our newly returned MOD
Imma gonna start a holiday thread
What do you look forward to in a holiday?

Alt:What do you miss most whilst on holiday?

Alt:alt: what is your idea of a dream holiday? or what is your idea of a holiday hell?


alt:alt:alt:Holiday Fruit woes?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:06, 139 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I give up.
I'm just going to avoid b3ta entirely today.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:07, Reply)
Typical Frenchy giving up all the time

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
maybe pull some hilarious pranks on your cowaorkers, with hilarious consequences

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Also it is "National Admin week", lets tlka about that

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
lets talk about you and me,
lets talk about all the good things..........ZZZZzzzzzzz
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)
i thought this might interest chompy at least

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)
He's busy them paperclips aint gonna sell themselves

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Needs moar fruit woes

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Yes

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Don't drag me into our shit thread.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Or even 'your' shit thread.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Well after Val Kilmer
could it get any worse?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
errr the Val kilmer thread was actually very popular AKSHULLY

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)
Yeah yeah....so fruit woes?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)
My boiler is broken again
I repressurised the tank, but it's not turning on
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
I sat in a tractor on Sunday, tat was fun

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)
I'm eating butternut squash soup

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)
i had a cheese and salad and marmite sandwich as these were the only sandwich ingredients that I had

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)
drinking soup.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)
I disagree, I'm eating it from a bowl and using cutlery;
drinking soup applies to drinking it from a mug I reckon.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)
you fucking hippy soup wanker.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
I wore shorts yesterday for only the second time this year

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)
My copy of "Bring up the Bodies" arrived today, it cost £3.50 plus £3 postage
the day after it was dispatched I saw it in sainsburies for £3.

I didn't eben need to line teh pockets of those "evil" tax dodging bastards at Amazon
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:14, Reply)
My favourite holiday was sailing on the Ionian sea with my dad and brother.
Cruising from island to island, eating the freshest fish and drinking lovely cold beets. Swimming in the crystal clear sea water. It was ace.

I don't really miss anything except the dogs.

Also, can I ask about Neville Neville? I mean, what sort of a fucking name is that?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)
did they make your pee go pink?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)
I saw that but football talk tends to get a negative response

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)
Yuppie

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
how was your charity run thing?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)
I have a customer called George George

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
That's also a stupid name. is George stupid?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)
No, George

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
I've not had any bother with him yet.
He's bought stuff and kept it, pretty much the model customer so far.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)
well Neville Neville is a rapist.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

And I love your dress
You're a juvenile success
Because your face is a mess
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I bought some doughnuts at lunchtime.
They are ring doughnuts with white icing and blue and pink sprinkles. They look fearsomely patriotic.

I have two left, would anyone like one?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)
I only like proper british donuts with jam in and sugar on the outside
your paki-yank donuts can fak off
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
I prefered it when it said Conuts

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
your a conut

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)
Booblas are kick ass doughnuts.
You'd be a dick to think otherwise, unless you haven't had them.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)
not had them and I'm not googling that at work

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
reminds me of the 80s calculator 'classic'
55378008
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
eww no thanks, doughnuts are revolting

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
so's your face.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)
Have you seen the Voodoo doughnut place

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
i heard they had a donut baking prodigy there

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I don't get this

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:28, Reply)
prolly cos you're so old

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Yep that would Probs. be the reason why

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)
I'd like to work in a doughnut factory,
and put the jam in. That'd be ace.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Are you a big Bob Marley fan?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Bob Marley fan fat cunt
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
Fuck I was sad enough to laugh at this

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
He's no anotherwanker.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)
well keep working hard at your course and maybe one day you will

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Gosh thanks Monty.
Really.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Q1: What is the difference between a jam doughnut and a custard doughnut?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)
one's filled with custard and the other is filled with jam

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
which one is which?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
no wait, the other way around

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
I didn't spend last night custarding my cock up your gran's poo-hole?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
I'm dis-jammed at this

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
That joke always makes me lol

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
i got bitten by a lamb over the weekend

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:28, Reply)
So do you know anything about this?
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/horrendous-act-of-cruelty-threeweekold-lambs-ears-are-cut-off-8618982.html
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
poor little thing

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
what?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
It's worrying.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)
*golfing applause*

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)
good.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)
You're meant to put your cock in the other end.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
I am looking forward very much to a holiday
It will most likely be Centerparcs this year

Alt:
Nothing at all.

AltAlt:
Dream - Warm, somewhere to swim, beers, good food, relaxing, reading a few books, listening to music
Hell - 18-30, forced entertainment, FULL ENGLISH

AltAltAlt:
I dropped an apple on my toe - does this count?
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Never been to a Centreparcs.
I'm off to this in August.
www.rebellionfestivals.com/
Looking forward to seeing the Damned aagain. Ane Lene Lovich, never seen her live.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I had a lot of input in the refurbs of Longleat and Sherwood forest centre parcs
and got a free holiday out of them, with the greatest respect I was bored out of my mind within 3 days
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Off to the Penrith one I think

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
That sounds Welsh...

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
WTN
Lake District
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
thanks god for that

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Indeed this
I would not PAY to go to Wales
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
If it was Welsh it would be spelt Penryll

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Don't be silio

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Well that's lovely

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
there's lovely

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
...but not in Wales

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Two little Boys lols.
t was billed as a "rare stage appearance" and "an opportunity to hear his classic songs including Stairway to Heaven, Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport, Sun Arise and Two Little Boys."
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-22594336
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
I've seen Rolf live
I wasn't bummed at all
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Prolly cos you're so ugly

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
and fat

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I've just signed up for the Great North Run

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
You could have had Battered's place.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
But I'm an adult

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
I AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
*throws bottle of piss*

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
We were just talking about this last night
That occured at the Leeds festival when RATM were playing at the same time.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
It was pretty harsh considering they were just a couple of teenage girls.
I was at Reading when 50 Cent got the same treatment though and that was well lol
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
50 Cent is a monumental cunt
and a shit rapper
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
^^^^^^

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
All of Reading Festival 2004 agree with you

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I had my piss shipped in specially

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Having nothing to do and daytime drinking.
Alt: Nothing, the point of a holiday is to get away from your normal life.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Wankers who take their Blackberries and check emails every 5 mins

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
some people are contractually obliged to check them

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
whoa

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
first LOL of the day, that's superb

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
i dunt get it

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1968499
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:55, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1968537
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Come on Nakers, think, man - think.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Careful, his head might explode

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:14, Reply)
*closes the bread bin*

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:17, Reply)
GIT ORFF MOI LAAAAND!!!
*waves shotgun*
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:26, Reply)
wankers

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Even when on holiday?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Yes. Stunned poster is one of them, although true to form he doesnae do it.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Bitchtits

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
So, when I'm on holiday I can insist that someone else clean up the shit filled nappies and get up at 6.30am every day?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Yes.

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
The wife

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
But surely she can argue that she's on holiday too
and then we hit what is commonly known as an impasse. Or as you and I would know it, a massive fucking row.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:00, Reply)
*trigger fingers*

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:01, Reply)
£24 for one fucking night's camping.
One-man backpacking tent for fuck's sake, not a Monty yurt. It's in Sheppey. The guy said you have use of the pool and nightclub. Holiday camp clubs are the pits, and if I want a swim there's the sea. £24. Fuck off.

Ninja edit.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Are you going through a tunnel?

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Multi taskng.
Typing and eating.
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:59, Reply)
everyone else manages it just fine

(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Sorry Bill.
*Must try harder*
(, Mon 20 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)

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