How do you go about WINNING on the internet?
When was the last time you got to go 'Ha! In your face random forum poster you're naught but a FOOL, A FOOL I TELLS YA!' and they remained forever your internet-bitch?

Alt: I'm going to Monty's clubnight, I'm assuming it's fancy dress so I'll be going as TVs Craig Charles in his Red Dwarf getup. When was the last time you dressed as a twat in public?

Altalt: Best thing to put in a pitta bread or something.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:45, 79 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm the best one here, that's how I know that I win
alt: Fancy dress is for cunts, children and the childish.

altalt: kebab meat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)

^^ Typical Cunt answer ^^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

in what way?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Because it's your answer
tee hee
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:03, Reply)

yeah tee hee indeed





cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

I NOES

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:07, Reply)

It's like you signed that post with your nickname.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:18, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1976733
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Needs moar HSH
I'm nice to everyone

alt: Right now

Altalt:By Pitta bread you mean YM right?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)

What have Jon Lovitz films got to do with it?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

everything

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Tina Turner's disappointing zzzzzzzzzz.....

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 29 May 2013, 11:42, Reply)

FINALLY
Jeez you guys
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:01, Reply)

It's not possible to win on the internet
Best you can hope for is a zing, but that's a fleeting victory.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

1. This morning
2. This morning
3. nommy pully bayconz and chorizo
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

How did you WIN this morning Mon?
Please provide a link and/or badly drawn storyboards
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

I wasn't aware that the internet was a competition.
How am I faring?

Alt: I don't think I have ever worn fancy dress.

Altalt: Halloumi, onion, peppers, hummus, Encona hot pepper sauce and some sort of salad leaves.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)

+ kebab meat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Something about your mum I really can't be bothered to try any harder than that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

it's this sort of laisez fair attitude that's killing OT
personally i blame Kroney the snail eating piss weasel
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Makes sense, why else would we use a French phrase to describe it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

+t
'FARING' BECOMES 'FARTING', DO YOU SEE?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Oh my
I walked right into that one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

ZING! YOU JUST FLOUNCED!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Now I know how other posters feel :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Your problem is that you think you're untouchable - holier than thou, even.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Told someone yesterday they were talking about the wrong wizard from LOTR
Only when I write it like that do I realise how utterly geeky that sounds (they mistook Ian McKellen for Christopher Lee).

Alt: Did drag for a friend's birthday a couple of years ago.

AltAlt: Grilled chicken that's been marinaded.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahaa
wrong wizard! Classic.

We have a right larff here
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:01, Reply)

There is a not-very-well disgused EDL group called "Unplugged Debate"
They were talking about how they've always hated Help For Heros, and how it's nothing new to hate on them, so...

Me: How meny backwards gears does your bike have?
Them: Many
Me: Haha, thought so.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 May 2013, 10:58, Reply)

falafel, houmous and feta or haloumi with garlic or chilli sauce

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:03, Reply)

QOTW has flipped out and it's all my fault.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

oh you ghastly human being

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

+ kebab meat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:07, Reply)

fuck that nasty shit

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:10, Reply)

"I never take myself too seriously, 'cos everybody knows fat birds don't fly."
Alt: many would agree every time I leave the 'owse.

Altalt: chips and ketchup.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:03, Reply)

fat cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

+ 'Ha! In your face random forum poster you're naught but a FOOL, A FOOL I TELLS YA!'

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

No.
That's just the folds in my belly.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:10, Reply)

I'm afraid you've been 'zinged' here.
Zinged good and proper.

I think this is right.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Oh. OK.
What is protocol for the reception of a zinging?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:22, Reply)

DYAAKY

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:24, Reply)

fucksocks
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:25, Reply)

DYAAKY
Come on Vage you have been here long enough to know this
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Aw, crap.
Can't I DMYAAKSE?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I think you accidentally rested your enormous gut on the keyboard

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I think I'd better simply DMAAKM.
I'm clearly not very good at the internet.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Nahhh you're alright Vage
I'll just get Nakers to take you under his wing and teach you about quality over quantity
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:44, Reply)

er... ZANG
Is that right?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:17, Reply)

No, I think that's Cantonese for 'Excellent!'

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Aha, the 'Legolas defence'!!!

Exercise book!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

I won on the internet when I pointed out all dwarf actors are not the same person.
I got a trophy and everything
( Peej, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Terrible bullying of Battered here

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:27, Reply)

He'll be crying into his oven glove as we speak

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:32, Reply)

The Sheffield prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:37, Reply)

I NO RITE
Coming over here, stealing our corner shops
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:38, Reply)

whoa

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)

You got dubs

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I'm checking 'em right now.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 11:42, Reply)

SP

( Peej, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:42, Reply)

YESSSSSSP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 May 2013, 13:14, Reply)

You're just not putting the effort into your questions these days.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 11:34, Reply)

He's not even doing a countdown :(

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:36, Reply)

It's like he doesn't even CARE

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Countdown to what?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:41, Reply)

deletion.
HAPPY POSTS ONLY
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Oh, right
Not really sure what this means Psy
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Aw man PWNED by mine own PTARD or summat
Where am I going wrong b?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:37, Reply)

With reference to Monty's upsetting of Pooflake on QOTW
I was always pertty certain that the "ploppy son of ploppy" account was also Pooflake.

Which would make the whoel situation doubly sad, since he would be using a sock pupppet to defend himself.

B3th? Can you confirm whether this is true or not?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:51, Reply)

offer her cake

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:56, Reply)

B3TH!!!!!
You CAN HAZ SUM CAYKE IF YOO TELL ME WOT I ARSKED????
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Sorry, I was distracted by doing some actual 'work'.
It doesn't happen very often, so I try not to interrupt it once it's started.
You know, like married men and sex.

I'll have a look for you, shall I?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I wouldn't know anything about married men and sex.
But thanks for looking into it for me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

They appear to have the same ro similar surnames,
but not the same first names. I suspect they may be related in some way.

/horrendous abuse of what little mod power I do have.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 12:11, Reply)

WHERE ARE MY FUCKING ICONS?!!

( Peej, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:08, Reply)

I left them up your wife's chuff.
It's no wonder you haven't found them yet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 May 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Wait, PJ is Emvee?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:13, Reply)

No that would make b3th Emvee shoving stuff up my wifes minge like that, how dare she.

( Peej, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Yeah I didn't read her post properly.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

AND ZING

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 29 May 2013, 12:17, Reply)