My cousin is coming round on friday night and we're gonna have a BBQ.
What should I do for her? I was thinking pork belly.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:03, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

definitely pork belly.
Or ribs, but boil them first.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:04, Reply)

You should do a poo-poo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:05, Reply)

Rockin' Sidneys latest ZZZzzzzzzzzzz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Can't go wrong with some nicely marinated chicken.
www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2633/spice-and-lime-chicken
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:05, Reply)

You really can, you know.
Unless you actually like your chicken rare.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:07, Reply)

I've always thought the risk from chicken was over-egged.
(SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:10, Reply)

One of my exes got salmonella and was so ill she was off school for about 4 months.
Just to clarify, this was about ten years before I met her. She's three years older than me - I ent no SuperMatt yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I had it in Primary school, in hospital for like 2 weeks, not great.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:18, Reply)

My ex said she 'ate' nothing but starchy rice water for weeks.
Lost tons of weight. She seemed to have put it back on again my the time I met her though, the chunky bitch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:19, Reply)

This last bit is a complete lie, I just like being rude.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Yeah, your insides are so fucked you're basically allergic to loads of things.
I couldn't eat any citrus, refined sugar, coconut, about two dozen e numbers and any chilli for about 12 months without being immediatly sick.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

What about spunk?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I was in Primary school saville.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I see,.
So you didn't start eating spunk until secondary school? I apologise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I got campylobacter from some dodgy duck pate when I was about 19
3 days curled up in crippling agony whilst pissing fresh water out of my arse about a minute after drinking it.

Then I got back on the beer and sorted myself out. I put it to you, therefore, that you are some kind of hospitalised Mary.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I was like 9!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:29, Reply)

fucking children
they don't have any fibre these days.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

yeah, but failure to cook chicken properly on a barbecue
is basically just part of Darwinian selection.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:12, Reply)

For this reason I cheat and par cook most of my BBQ meats

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Anyone who tries to cook drumsticks from raw on a BBQ is 100% guaranteed to be pissing rusty water out of their arse for the next two days.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:17, Reply)

You need a shelf, and you know, some skill.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:18, Reply)

And an oven.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:18, Reply)

and some Chicken may help

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:20, Reply)

That's crazy talk

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I pity the fool

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

o w
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

So Gonz basically?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Wimps I say.
I have had BBQ chicken all over and only seldom have I got ill.
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:18, Reply)

balls
I do it all the time. It's a matter of knowing when the coals are at the right temperature.

pre-cooking is fine, particularly if you're cooking for a lot of people, but it's not necessary. Unless you're using a disposable barbecue in which case you're an idiot and deserve everything you get.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I want a bbq now.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

BBQ Friday?

(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

No, now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

could do,
I'll check with the boss.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Ok, you can go.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Come over to mine.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

I've never barbecued balls tbh, I'm sure you're right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Rocky Oysterlolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

you've never barbecued balls?
you haven't lived, Monts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I simply don't have the stones, Mighty Mi.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:26, Reply)

oh, well played.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

That actually looks quite nice.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Your mum actu...hang on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I've done similar before a few times.
I prefer to replace the curry powder with Cayenne Pepper and Zest the lime too.
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I was going to suggest actually not using "curry powder" as it tates shit
but instead using a mixture of paprika, cumin, some fresh coriander and chilli.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

at the risk of coming across as even more of a cunt than I usually do
it lacks anything with sugars of any kind in it, so I don't think it will barbecue particularly nicely.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:26, Reply)

You could use full fat yoghurt and mix in a petit filous.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

yeah ,, maybe
I don't think what little lactose is left in yoghurt caramelises very well, to be honest. Might be worth a go, though. I've barbecued thai green chicken and that's been more or less OK, and that has the same issue - I just tend to chuck a load of palm sugar into the paste when I make it with that, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I'll try that.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

You're going to get some sugar from the lime,
granted not a lot. I've not had any problems before but I'm sure some sugar wouldn't hurt.
(socynicalsohip, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Yeah. Only a tiny bit, though.
I mean, don't get me wrong, that stuff will be fine cooked on a barbecue, it'll just not be any different (bar being a bit drier) than cooking it any other way, which doesn't really seem worth the effort, somehow.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:37, Reply)

But the smokiness on the BBQ will infuse with the meat?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

I infused my meat into
your zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:44, Reply)

maybe.
I suppose.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Try doing fish it makes a nice alternative
Hake is perfect for BBQ's make some parcels with tin foil white wine and a few choice herbs of your choice.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Fuck off you gayer
if I wanted to cook fish in little tin foil parcels I've got a perfectly good oven you stupid cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I'm afraid, at the risk of agreeing with Al again.
Very much this ^
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I cannot abide that insipid steam-parcel fish no matter where it's cooked. Fucking depressing.
A salmon, dill and lemon parcel is my idea of hell.

I would - and have - rather suck the pus from a diseased gibbon's anus.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:29, Reply)

What about fish tikka?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:33, Reply)

What about your mum's pissflaps?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:35, Reply)

You bent cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Yeah you you bender.......................
.....heywaitaminute
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)