Anyone seen swipey about?
Legally, how can I get the fucking neighbours to stop cooking a whole bulb of garlic and a sack of onions every other fucking day? It's proper reeked out my flat. Is there anything they can put with the stuff that won't make my flat smell like a sweaty italian's armpit?

I was thinking of changing the wifi hotspot name to "Fucking hell, garlic and onions again?".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:21, 60 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Just have a few fags to clear the air.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Don't need to tell me twice !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:25, Reply)

They're probably getting their own back for the smell of your constant shitting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:25, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:26, Reply)

THey're probably growing pot and just need to disguse the smell.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:27, Reply)

I volunteer to go round and SORT THEM RIGHT OUT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Don't forget your Sword Of Beheading Truth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:29, Reply)

It never leaves my side.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:35, Reply)

How long has Kroney been your neighbour?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:28, Reply)

*makes Gallic shrugging shoulders gesture*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:30, Reply)

I think you should act like an adult,
Speak to them politely about maybe opening a Window while cooking, or sorting out an extractor fan, get some odourless air freshener and get on with your life.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:28, Reply)

OR
cook nothing but gefilte fish for the next two months, by which time the stench will have driven them to suicide.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Or Surströmming

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:38, Reply)

^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:52, Reply)

Shove two fags up your nose, one for each nostril

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Graham Norton and Lewis Spence

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Oh you, you and your sensible answers.
I don't think an extraction fan would be a sollution, on account if it going out their window and into mine, I fabreeze the place every few days 'cus I smoke, but didn't think about getting some plugin/electronic air-freshners. Gonna pick up those ones that look like ornaments when I next nip out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:31, Reply)

What you want is Neutradol, not perfumed air.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Fucking air freasheners do my head in
the wife's latest one is one of the bastard airwick buggers, on the same shelf I put my key each night I get in go to put my keys down and get a motion detected face full of mountain flower bloom or some such.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I can honestly say that the undiluted smell of human faeces is infinitely preferable to me
than the smell of human faeces mixed with some hideous 'mountain meadow freshness' bollocks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:38, Reply)

It's the IED of air fresheners, you come in forget about the motion detecter and WHOOOSH
*coff coff, choke choke, stinging eye's* every fucking day I forget about the bastard
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Why don't you insist that Mrs Bouquet gets rid of the vile, common things?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:05, Reply)

click

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:12, Reply)

They do it to hide the smell of your cooking

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:30, Reply)

My neighbour burned a shitload of freshly cut wood the other day at the top of his garden and filled my house with smoke.
I could have died or something!
( Peej, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:34, Reply)

house Homely pink shed the wife makes me live in
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:36, Reply)

load of freshly cut and it gave me
and filled my house with smoke
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:36, Reply)

I like both of these ^^^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Every time they do it, you should squat over their doormat and leave a fresh turd
with a little note stuck in it saying "Gonz has requested a read receipt for 'Message regarding garlic and onions' would you like to respond?"
( Kroney, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Perfect

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:43, Reply)

typical Frenchie passive aggressive response.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:48, Reply)

It's kind of difficult to stick a sign in a liquid, though.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:01, Reply)

Also, it's after lunch on a Friday,
I imagine swipe, like all lawyers, has stopped working for the day and is drinking over priced cocktails spat in by underpaid bartenders.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Now there's an image to conjur with.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Trying to kid herself
that the 19 yr old Aussie barman is flirting with her because she "still has it" and not to try and get a tip.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:50, Reply)

What's wrong with the smell of cooking onions and garlic?
I quite like it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:50, Reply)

does it cover the smell of your mung bean farts?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:54, Reply)

What's wrong with the smell of my mung bean farts?
I quite like it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Ewwwwwww..........

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:57, Reply)

do you like my sig?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Some people are just odd, tangles.
The smell of frying onions and garlic is delightful.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Inivite yourself round for a cuppa
Then hide loads of basil in their flat. Then it'll smell like pesto.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Me and my hilarious friends used to hide fruit and fish and other such things in people's houses at parties,
In light fittings or in ornamental vases that are never used. Oh the things we did eh?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Oh, you wag!
B*ldm*nkey left some unpleasant surprises for his next door neighbours when he moved house. There was a small hole linking the two lofts, so he poured some mouldy, fishy concoction into it before he left. It smelled terrible. But then his neighbours were terrible.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:09, Reply)

I really fucking hate people who do that shit WP, I am most disappointed in you.
You know who used to do that when I was a teenager - radio 'character' Christian O'Connell. It is only one of several thousands reasons why I fucking detest him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Years ago there was an electric socket in my house that smelled of fish.
It was most peculiar.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Coincidentally, years ago I had a fish that you could plug small appliances into.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Not really, I just made that up 'cause I'm really bored.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:16, Reply)

I can tell.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:16, Reply)

You might think that all the work I've got to do would keep me occupied
But with just over 40 minutes to go until the weekend and an overwhelming feeling of apathy, it seems the most unlikely option right now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I've spent the morning with my dad in hospital
and am now trying to put a funding bid together; in an hour's time I shall pick the missus up from work and no doubt we will be decamping to the pub immediately afterwards.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Environmental Health department of your local council are probably your best bet
But I suspect you will get nowhere with it.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:03, Reply)