Next saturday Scroob Pip & DlC is releasing their first single from the new album, I'm really looking forward to that.
If you can go back in time and change one thing through history, what would you change and why?


/alt - Best frozen treat?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:46, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hells bells

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Seven Hells !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Good point

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:09, Reply)

I would have made it so the right side won WWII

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:48, Reply)

The Russians?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I dunno, I don't think the greeks are upto world dominantion

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I really don't think with a time machine any single person would have been able to change the outcome of WWII
I TAKE THESE SORT OF QUESTIONS SERIOUSLY GET OFF MY BACK
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Nonsense, assassinating Hitler in about 1941 would have made a huge difference.
They might have won.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Nah, there were a bunch of other psychos that would have taken his place.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Without Hitler constantly ignoring the advice of his seasoned, professional generals
they would have done far, far better and might well have won their Russian campaigns and with them the war. Se'sly blud.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

If it wasn't for that lovely Austrian
I would not be alive today
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:58, Reply)

ah well in that case
Gudday cobber,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:01, Reply)

No, no , no

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:06, Reply)

what if they took a metric fucktonne of modern equipment with them and nuked the whole of germany or britain or whatever?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:14, Reply)

hand Nakers' parents a leaflet on contraception?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:49, Reply)

I'll hand you a leaflet on SHUT THE HELL UP

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:49, Reply)

^ Upset ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:50, Reply)

just hot and bothered harters

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Yeah, the rains gone now and we have brilliant sunshine again
I may have one of my Solero exotics from the freezer
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Adrian Richardson -The Secret Meat Business
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:54, Reply)

That's the prick I was thinking of not the other one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I'd have stopped the Ottomans becoming such a dominant power.
Incidentally, to answer the previous thread, I'd have Jamie Oliver as both answers, with a special mention to that baker guy off that baking competition show. He gets og in a right old fizz. He's second-worst.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Thank goodness for people like Vlad the Impaler, without whom we'd all be speaking Paki now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:52, Reply)

Without the Ottomans, it's likely we wouldn't have this tedious Middle East business today.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:53, Reply)

And no place to keep the spare bedding

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:54, Reply)

An interesting point (well I think it is)
is that without the threat of Ottoman expansion into Eastern Europe the protestant church would never have got anywhere. The Protestant German princes were desperately needed for their armies to fight the Turks so their 'heresy' was tolerated as part of a deal with the Vatican.

Wow Monty that really *is* interesting!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:54, Reply)

The combined ability of the Ottomans and the Mamluks
finally broke the back of the Byzantine Empire, which had formed a bulwark allowing the European nations to form coherent, powerful kingdoms. Had the Ottomans and Mamluks not been able to eventually destroy Byzantium, it's quite likely the Holy Land would have remained either in Christian hands or closely influenced by them. This may well have led to more tolerance between religions.

Alternatively it might have made everything worse, but I prefer to remain optimistic.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:57, Reply)

PAKIS OUT!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)

You're using the wrong slur.
I believe the preferred term for people of Middle Eastern ethnicity is "sand-coon" or "rag-'ed"
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)

"dune coon"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Alice Cooper'szzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:02, Reply)

The thing is, that on the whole, up to about 100 years ago Islam was infinitely more tolerant of other faiths than Christianity.
Look at Moorish Spain, in which all faiths, even the ever-popular Yids, were allowed free reign to practice their religions. The people they *really* hate are lapsed Muslims.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)

It's really kind of a shame.
Even Richard I was all "shit, these guys are alright and that Saladin is just dreamy"
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:03, Reply)

see, i don't know nearly enough about this, and i have a vague interest in history,
imagine how little the sort of people shouting about stuff and waving banners know.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:04, Reply)

To get even a tiny handle on what's going on in much of the world it truly is essential to know a little about its history.
Major example of this is this Syria business. There are thousand year old grudges being acted upon over there. Revenge for sectarian persecution going back generations.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:09, Reply)

nuke em all from space
it's the only way to be sure
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)

The Syria business is Serious Business

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Got this on my wishlist:
www.amazon.co.uk/Commander-Faithful-Life-Times-El-Kader/dp/0979882834/

It's supposed to be v good.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:31, Reply)

i read that as other fails
then realised you were talking about religion. so yer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Are you RORY?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

*taps nose*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:24, Reply)

Your conception.
Alt: Mango sorbet.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Fuck off
Am I doing this right?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:55, Reply)

i would stop the decline of the British Empire
they'd all be better off with us still in charge, especialy the yanks
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:53, Reply)

You'd have to stop two world wars for that.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:54, Reply)

and one world cup.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Now this I agree with.
Start with getting Rhodesia back, I think.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Yep, they quite clearly aren't ready for self-rule, those hateful, corrupt samboes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Innit, leaving Africa and parts of Asia to their own devices fucked them up big time.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:57, Reply)

What fucked them up was ignoring tribal territories
and simply leaving them to govern themselves along colonial borders.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Yup, Lawrence of Arabia etc

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Which we're now repeating with Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, etc.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2024339
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Ruler +Map = long term peace

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:14, Reply)

maybe they almost bought a map and then didn't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

I would go back and stop war from happening.
Either that or I'd totally impregnate one of the royals. GQ Bess sounds like a bit of a laugh, but it would have to be on annual bath night.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:54, Reply)

I'd have helped Moaty slaughter a few more and made sure he escaped abroad.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:56, Reply)

yeah, he was a real hero

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)

I'd change it so that the guy who jumped in front of a train and made me late for a meeting,
didn't make it to the train in time, so jumped in front of a different train and i was not late for the meeting. I'm sure my life would be different.

alt- Sorbet.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)

if he timed it right he would just jump into the side of a stationary train

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:01, Reply)

well, that assumes he jumped from a platform, when in face, he jumped from a road bridge.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:03, Reply)

can't deny the "faces"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:05, Reply)

they were small though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)

spare the Rod, spoil the child eh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)

idiot.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Private Eyes front cover today
"Woman has Baby"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:01, Reply)

how many?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:02, Reply)

I think they print about 250,000

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:04, Reply)

eyes?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I'd probably go back to yesterday morning and choose something different to wear.
Alt: Ice for my gin.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:03, Reply)

I really fancy a g&t today, for some reason.
I've never tried one before.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:04, Reply)

:o

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I just can't get on with white spirits
Brandy or Dark Rum for me please
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:05, Reply)

We're all meeting round at Nakers' for a drink after work, you should come.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I can't, I'm working late tonight.
Besides, Barnes is kind of a ball-ache to get to from where I am.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:06, Reply)

i finished my gin : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:07, Reply)

I can't make it either I'm going to one of Kroneys secret BBQ's
Just don't tell Nakers
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:08, Reply)

whaaaat?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)

i know right
I mean I knew he was a wrong'un but, this...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:13, Reply)

I wouldn't say 'no' to one of those !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)

The last time I drank spirits was about 18 months ago & that was g&t with Stunned.
Tastes very similar on the way back up.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)

how is this possible?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Just never did.
I haven't been avoiding them, or anything.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

He prefers pastis.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

I'd murder the person that decided to change Marathon to Snickers
alt: I like a white chocolate Magnum™
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:13, Reply)

White chocolate isn't chocolate.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:14, Reply)

it's solidified oompa loompa spunk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:14, Reply)

what is it then?
Doctor.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)

as it contains no cocoa solids it is not technically chocolate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

see, when someone has to use the word "technically" i just think, well, now you;re being unnecessarily pedantic.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

i was just explaining bruv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

It's a derivative
Cocoa butter, sugar, milk solids and salt.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

And it's not even a Private Investigator

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Fuck off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I know you don't really mean that
YOU DO LOVE ME
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)

While I agree that that's true
The product is still called a white chocolate Magnum™
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)

A dignified response, TH
He's only trying to provoke a reaction from you, the nasty little troll.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

white chocolate magnums are amazing until you've eaten the chocolate and then it's just a sickly lump of ice cream
for this reason i might have to take issue with you and say:

CARAMEL OR MINT MAGNUMS FTW
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

I want mint ice cream now.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

^ same here
Or a cider lolly
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I might make some cider lollies with Aspalls. As long as the booze is below about 8% it will freeze.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Wait does that actually turn out alright?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Yep.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:24, Reply)

I'm gonna try this tonight, Thanks

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

fuck off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

My brother tried to make Special Brew lollies once.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Did he spend all his money on you?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

ha, like anyone enjoys mint in chocolate or ice cream
your mouth was built wrong.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

^ correct ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Really? I had stunning mint icecream at a gelateria just by the Pantheon in Rome. It was fucking lovely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

i'm not a fan,
you know what though, proper Italian ice cream is incredible.
We went to this amazing little place just off the piazza de miracoli when we dropped by Pisa, and the Kiwi ice cream was to die for.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

^ middle class post of the week ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I don;t really care for sweet food at all but the green apple sorbet I had there was...well, I'm still going on about it now and it was about 15 years ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

I like west country ice cream the best
there is a little place in Salcombe that is incredible
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

no there isn't, don't lie

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:31, Reply)

QOTW is that way >

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:36, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2019925
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

this is where you are, for once, wrong...
i don't like mint, but choc mint ice cream is divine
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU DON;T LIKE MINT AND THEN SAY THAT YOU DO IN FACT LIKE MINT IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Easily. She's a solicitor. They spout any old bullshit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Whereas
You simply solicit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Mint Choc Chip is the best icecream flavour out there.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

or old skool rum and raisin

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Yeah, that's probably number two on my list.

( Kroney, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:32, Reply)

I had a creme brulee ice cream the other day. rather good

( Peej, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:33, Reply)

That sounds good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:34, Reply)

you know,
i'm too young to remember Marathon, and from this side of the age gap, I'm gonna let you know, no one on my side gives a shit, except for ironic hipster retro twats, who can all fuck off.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)

Well that's my new signature sorted.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Well frankly it's this sort of attitude that's ruining this great country

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)

^ once-

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Kids today, eh?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

OMG, I forgot, I froze some watermellon the other day. Its pretty awesome.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Micro loves that. I have to make sure I don't give her the one with pimms in it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)

with pimms in it that I heat up in the microwave for that special me time
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:24, Reply)

fuck off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

ha ha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Well that narrows it down
*does drinky hand"*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

operation new thread commenced at 14.31

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 14:31, Reply)