New week, new danger.
How was your weekend and what's happening for you this week?

Alt: when did you last vomit and why?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:07, 158 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I had a very dull weekend ta.
Off to Edinburgh this coming Friday for a stag do. It's going to get messy yo.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:21, Reply)

Weekend went as planned...
...with fence-type DIY and heavy drinking. This week I are mostly working between bouts of getting stuff sorted for a week away and the aforementioned heavy drinking.
Alt: About 7 years ago - a reaction to Diclofenac.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:23, Reply)

aren't you a bit old for heavy drinking?
You're in your fifties, you should be drinking for pleasure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:43, Reply)

four hours into Pooflake's latest anecdote and you'd hit the bottle too

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:50, Reply)

I'd tan an entire ten year old laddie.
Then drink some whisky.

HAHAHAHA!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:03, Reply)

I had a mixed weekend
Worked Sat morning, boring. Got hammered in the evening,spent Sunday morning lying down on the sofa with a raging hangover, then did 30 miles of cycling, and now I ache like fuck.

Last time I vomited was yesterday morning. Felt better after though.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:43, Reply)

Excellent thank you. Very little this week.
Alt: June 12th, thanks to a dodgy omelette.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 7:44, Reply)

Omelettes are shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:08, Reply)

NO EGG CHAT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I had an ok weekend.
A couple hours after you left the pub turned in to a asshole city. Stag do wankers .
Sunday easy bbq with scumbag gypsy side of the family, but was alright as my brother, dad and me just sat in the conservatory and got shit faced and watched the cricket.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:09, Reply)

We ended up having a great time - and as expected a dull-as-ditchwater meal - chez Raymondo.
It's a shame that his name is connected to the place.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:13, Reply)

How did it work out with getting your daughter back home? Did your ex kick off?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)

I dropped her off just before 7 and whilst she did moan she was much less mental than I'd have thought.
A year ago all hell would have broken loose - she actually said 'let's not fall out over this' - pretty reasonable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:30, Reply)

Good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:35, Reply)

It It a shame his name is still on it,
I'm always surprised how many people rave about it in Oxford. You're better off at Brown's, and that's a M&B joint.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)

I'd rather have had an 'upmarket' burger in a pub.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:31, Reply)

r g

You great bender.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Sorry about this thread m8s

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Where is everyone? Why don't they want to post in your shit thread?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Because UR GAY?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:03, Reply)

How was camping?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:03, Reply)

It was excellent.
Their definition of 'family friendly festival' seemed to be 'everyone will bring their kids, but apart from that it's business as usual'.
Luckily my kids are well trained to fuck off to bed and allow me to go to the festival site.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

OMG THEYVE ANNOUNCED THE ACTOR WHO WILL PLAY THE TWELFTH MR CLAYPOLE IN THE NEW 'SEASON' OF SERIOUS ADULT DRAMA RENTAGHOST!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I wish.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:54, Reply)

*sings a haunting mel-o-dee*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I collected a TV cabinet and installed a new hard dirve in my laptozzzzzzzzz
These next few weeks are disposable weeks, counting to holidays and interesting stuff happening.

Alt: A week last Saturday. Must've picked up a stomach bug inbetween the manypints, double whiskys and sambucas. Very strange.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Perhaps you fell victim to a 'bad pint'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

The 13th one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Yeah, and red wine's meant to be good for you yeah? So pints of it should leave me feeling great.
It bears further investigation, that's for sure.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Morning Boycie
I’ve had a lovely lie in this morning, I’m now showered, shaved & dressed, drinking a nice cup of tea and wondering what to do with myself today.
Alt: The first and only time I had Oysters
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Listen I think it's only fair if I tell you, those weren't oysters.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)

I think I may go shopping

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Weekend was OK
Went to a sandcastle building competition, drank some cider, did some gardening. This week is mostly finishing off stuff in the house

Alt:
I cannot recall. A long time ago
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Alt: This thread made me vomit.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:15, Reply)

The thing is, that's not true is it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)

I have never told a lie on the internet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

^ lies ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)

I is off to Blackpool , you hippy you, for a music festival.
www.rebellionfestivals.com/

Highlights being The Damned, Subs, Cock Sparrer and Eddie and the Hot Rods. lene Lovich also, which will be a belter.
I puked a week or so ago, after all night boozing. Not nice.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Eddie and the Hot rods' 'Teenage Depression' is a classic, all their other records were bent.
As are you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)

No I'm not.
Fuck off.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)

The exhibition was pretty good, thanks.
Yesterday we did inf act watch the announcement of the new guy playing the lead role in a child-orientated family entertainment show. I happen to quite like the child-orientated family entertainment show for nostalgic reasons. I was quite pleased with the casting.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)

I don't know why people keep banging on about Capaldi
Traffic weren't that good.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Because he's quite a good actor, I suppose.
I'd imagine people are rather bored with all the tiresome bouncing around of trained Labradoodles Smith and Tennant.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Jim Capaldi you spanner

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I didn't really expect anyone other than you to get this rather weak 'joke'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Especially since the "Traffic weren't that bad" bit wasn't there when I replied.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I can't see how, it wasn't edited in.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Maybe I just didn't see it, then!

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Fancy that!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I have 'The Best of Traffic'. Played once.
It that your best, is it? OK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I had a massive BBQ
and then I bought a car and then I went to see Iron Maiden.

Did your ex kick off at your late return on Saturday?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)

What car did you buy?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

A black one.
Focus Estate.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I need a new car
Can you sort one out for me?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Not bothered what colour

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Nah she wasn't too bad at all, really.
Suprisingly so.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Good stuff.
Did your old fella slip it to Lusty in the toilets?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Nah, worse: over the dinner table.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I bet his mums wanted to.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I suspect Monty's dad may not have celebrated his birthday with all his ex-wives and their lesbian lovers.
I may be wrong...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

^^^^^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Fuck me, they still going?
Any good?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

What do you reckon?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

It was rhetorical, a way of expressing surprise that they were still doing the rounds.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Please sir! I know sir!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

You don't know anything Boyce.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I'm still in the North.
I'll be heading back to civilisation later on this morning.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Yorkshiremen didn't shag you and eat you then?
Enjoy yourself?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Had a cracking weekend.
Good company, good food, two enjoyable days at the cricket and a lot of banter with a great groupnof Aussies.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)

TOP BANTZ

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

i don't think anyone would define brizzle as "civilised"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Holiday shopping with Mrs V was good fun, and I discovered a beer called Slag. It was alright.
Alt: I can't remember, as I think I was pretty pissed at the time.

This week will involve more holiday planning. Exciting times.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

In Berlin I discovered 'Lagerbier Hell'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Hahaha yes - I like the Hell connection.
Have you tried Camden Hells? Is it any good?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

It's OK, not really my thing tbh
Bit too full-flavoured.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Hmm. This is a shit review - I give this review but 3 out of 10.
In other news, Brewdog's Punk IPA is perhaps the best beer I have ever tasted.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

I've tried a few of theirs.
I appreciate the strength but none of them is one I could drink more than a couple of. I want a light Jap lager if I am going to drink a large amount. I don't want 15 pints of 'complex, hoppy flavours with a nutty aroma'. I want almost transparent 5% alcohol piss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)

You want Kirin Ichiban

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I agree, but it is absolutely lush.
It's also very expensive, which means it's better than other beers.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Quiet weekend
Burger in the Carpenter's Arms on Saturday, almost bought a bowler hat from the vintage shop across from it. Fortunately I couldn't find one in my size before I came to my senses.

Sunday massive breakfast at the cafe and ordering furniture online. After 3.5 months in the new place I've decided that maybe having the TV balanced on 2 unpacked boxes and all my clothes in a big heap in the bottom of the wardrobe isn't very grown up.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Alt: Cast Iron stomach, me
haven't thrown up in a good 15-20 years.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

You were cuddled by [POSTER'S NAME REDACTED] as you ate a burger?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

V. good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

He's a gentle and considerate lover

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Any of you lot want a lift from London to Jeffstock?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

i'd quite like you to delete yourself and kill your account

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

nah I'm sorted ta

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Is that soon?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

17th.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Ooh.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Coming along?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Dunno.
It's the last weekend before mŷ course starts, so I should probably take it easy, but maybe.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

What's happened to mŷ ŷ's?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I dunno b, I dunno.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

You'd have Sunday to recover.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Then all I have to do is persuade the lady pig to come to Bristol to meet strangers from the Internet.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Or leave her to herself for the day.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

This is possible,
But me ditching her on the second weekend after I leave pubs wont go down well.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Hahaha 'it's not swingers honest love'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

"It's definitely not some sort of weird cult"

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Well, I've met you now, so I can at least honestly tell her that at least one if not 2 if lusty is going are definitely not weirdo rapist serial killers.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

That's odd, both Monty and Lusty gave me the impression that they were weirdo rapist serial killers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

We're the Brady & Hindley of the internet age.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

She's working unfortunately.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Ok, so definitely 1 not rapist.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Oh, after last time I'm sure she doesn't think it unfortunate.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

You may have a point.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Is it going to be shut in and sweaty?
If so SIGN ME UP!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Oi oi. Coming along?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I'm not goign to make it this year.
Please all try to restrain your disappointment. Have some dignity, for God's sake.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

You know what's well "lol"?
Those people that say "for Gods' sakes".
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Gosh it totes is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I guess we can stop pretending it's in Bristol now eh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Yeah.
Just don't let Placid know its in Coventry.

Oops. Too late.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Stunned poster has offered to give me one, thanks anyway

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Morning Monty
Great thanks. Youngest microjog stayed over. Took her to feed pigs and chickens and the COCK A DOODLE DO.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

alright edj

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Weekend was OK, very busy spending time with my son before his mother takes him to the states for 3 weeks.
Good to have the time with him but with a nerve-wracking amount of my ex-wife involved.

This week I'll be spending the night at my ex's house to see my son off Tomorrow morning and then spending the rest of the week enjoying the fact that the country is blessedly free of her nutjobbery.

Alt: when I'm not 100% sure (probably down my then-GF's back in a busy tube station), why is almost certainly cider, it's never agreed with me in any quantity, but it is rather tasty.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)