Are you easily shockable? What was the last thing that shocked/should have shocked you?
Alt: lazy people take the greatest pains. What's your lazy guilty secret?

Altalt: lunch? I have an innocent noodle veg pot and a pint of milk
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 12:59, 111 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I like to think I'm relatively broad-minded, but I do find that every time I go to Amsterdam, there's something that I regret seeing.
Last time it was in a sex shop; a video called "Period Dramas", with a fully explicit front cover.

Alt: I ... oh balls to it.

Altalt: haircut and a sandwich. Going for a curry tonight with Mrs V's new work colleagues - I don't know if it will be a good thing.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:02, Reply)

beetroot/egg again

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Nothing, I'm dead inside.

(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I thought they smelled bad on the outside
/fillum
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Not easily, no
The last thing that shockled me was a few nights ago when there was a FUCKING MASSIVE CRASH from next door's house which is getting loads of work done on it at the moment. I genuinely thought a wall/roof had come down.

Turns out it was one of their bedroom ceilings falling down due to them not putting the house roof on and it pissing down for hours

AltAlt:
Sainsburys South Indian chicken/chickpeas thing in two wraps with spinach. BURP
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:03, Reply)

That sounds nice
I fucking love chickpeas
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:06, Reply)

It is very nice
Two wraps was one too many though

Urgh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Oh I didn't see the chicken
Rejected!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Actually the chicken brings nothing at all to the party

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Yesssss! Where is tangles?
One of us, one of us...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:15, Reply)

YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!
*falls off tower*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:17, Reply)

We'll soon convert all of them, rach

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:17, Reply)

In the words of CombiChrist
"FUCK THAT SHIT"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:18, Reply)

^^^^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:20, Reply)

pea ^ Monty Mum ^
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:10, Reply)

The last thing was the state & stench of the rusty water that's gushing out of my ringpiece every 30 minutes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:09, Reply)

i.imgur.com/SH6qTAI.png
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:09, Reply)

....by Monty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Last thing that should have shocked me
I re-wired the fan in the bathroom, I thought it was hooked up to the upstairs lighting loop It wasn't.

alt:I had a mainly lazy week off last week, lazy guilt is making the wife/son go fetch my beer from the fridge.

alt:alt: Left over American BBQ style pulled beef brisket with crusty bread and mustard.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:09, Reply)

I have been shocked at the revelation
That double H is married to his son, ban this sick filth
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Keep it in the family innit
May I just say B-dog

"mi you got a pertty mouth"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:15, Reply)

*Blushes*
Oh you...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:23, Reply)

alt: one morning we were nearly out of toilet roll so I just got straight into the shower

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:09, Reply)

Not sure if lazy or thoughtful for other family members

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:13, Reply)

altalt: you should try the supermarket itsu noodle cup things, they're really alright and they are fucking massive

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:10, Reply)

^ This ^
Panders
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:10, Reply)

I haven't seen those, which supermarket?
I like these innocent ones though, all under 300 cals. In fact this bad bitch is 197. Nice.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Sainers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Right, that shit is ON next time I go

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:12, Reply)

Sainsburys...He mentioned them a couple of weeks ago so I got one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:14, Reply)

I like itsu
Their 7 veg rice pots are tasty
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:14, Reply)

I'm not that shockable with humour etc.
Sometimes with gore or violence in a film or on the news if it's too graphic.

Alt. I have no idea what this means.

Altalt. More fucking fruit :(
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Imagine you can't quiiiiiite reach the remote
Rather than get up, you either watch a shit channel or keep stretch streeeetch streeeeeeetching until you fall off the sofa. Ie trying twice as hard through being lazy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:12, Reply)

Oh right! It was the greatest pains thing that confused me (not a hard thing to do)
I begrudge moving when Im at my fella's and we're stoned. Im a great host when he is at mine. Glass always full and snacks on the go.

I will dot hat remote stretch thing though even though it probably takes more energy and effort.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:16, Reply)

dot hat ftw

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:18, Reply)

*SHAKES FIST*
I would have gotten away with... zzzzzzz
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Reheheheheehee

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:32, Reply)

That's just crap laziness though.
If one was pre-emptively lazy then they'd have made sure that they didn't sit out of reach of the remote.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:18, Reply)

this^
When preparing for epic laziness, care must be taken
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:18, Reply)

My dad insists on moving the remotes to the worst place ever...
The fucking tv stand. What's the point of that??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:19, Reply)

The fucking tv stand Coventry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:21, Reply)

3rd click of the day for SC

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:33, Reply)

POW!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:34, Reply)

I think it only works on starving Ethiopians Mince, HTH

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:35, Reply)

nice

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:39, Reply)

I say!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Reggie here knows his oats

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Other selfish cunts move it though
It all depends on how long you've been sitting
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I do tend to nest when Im getting stoned
Surrounded by snacks and remotes for this eventuality :)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Alt: that I'm really fucking lazy

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:12, Reply)

Did that talk guy who awas all "bloo bloo I'm going to end it all"
Turn back up yet?
( Kroney, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Sock troll 137000 has left the building

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:13, Reply)

If he has any stones at all he's quietly back on his normal non sock account and is lolling heartily every time it's mentioned.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:22, Reply)

If he had any stones at all
He would be on a slab in a mortuary
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:27, Reply)

I reckon it was Frisbee Alan.
That man's a secret sock genius. A dark horse, I'm telling you.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:27, Reply)

This is the weirdest idea I've heard in a long time.
Apart from Battered's claim to be 5'8".
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:34, Reply)

Apparently he's 5'9" now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:37, Reply)

This time next week he'll prolly get turned away from the homeless shelter he volunteers at BUT DOESN'T MENTION
for being so fucking tall that the homeless people are scared of him because they think he's a giant from the time of legends.

Prolly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Fuck off Boyce.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:41, Reply)

I was shocked this morning when I nearly shat myself.
Alt: I have also got very lazy at home due to having a fucking ongoing breakdown, and side effects of tablets (see item 1). Generally my lazy guilty secret is spending alot of time buggering about on the internet and doing very little actual work, for years.

Altalt: A twix.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Meds not helping then? Go back to the doctors and ask for a different type.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:25, Reply)

I love your sig

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Really? That's surprising.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:28, Reply)

Zing...

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Heh heh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Early days. Maybe a bit. Hard to tell at the moment.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Hav you considered killing yourself? I hear that stops the voices straight away

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:38, Reply)

The voices tell me not to, I am here for a higher purpose.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:40, Reply)

A hammer drill to the temple is effective too

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Fart + VAT or something worse?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Running was involved.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:31, Reply)

+down my leg

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Fucking close

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:33, Reply)

about on the internet and doing very little actual work, for years terminally-ill disabled children
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:35, Reply)

Not anymore.
That whole Yewtree thing has made it incredibly difficult.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:39, Reply)

This thread is NOTHING without AA's input.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:27, Reply)

same as all threads

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:36, Reply)

The link to those two Ukrainian murderers who filmed their crimes, genuinely shocking.
Alt: pizza

Altair: ham hock and cheese sanger
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:36, Reply)

I saw that. 4 stars.Sound was terrible.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:38, Reply)

I just discovered kelloggs granola
I think I could eat that shit (the chocolate one, naturally) all fucking day
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:38, Reply)

I think I put this in the wrong place
Fucking iPhone
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:38, Reply)

^ MULTITASK FAIL ^

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:40, Reply)

This is what happens when both hands are cramming granola intonevery orifice

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:40, Reply)

link?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:38, Reply)

www.tesco.com/groceries/Product/Details/?id=276667560
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:40, Reply)

LOL

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:41, Reply)

*bongles*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Up there ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I assume Daily Fail readers will be shocked by this.
metro.co.uk/2013/08/13/pc-caught-having-sex-on-duty-reinstated-because-his-firearm-was-within-reach-3921594/
Made me do a lunchlol.
‘The finding of the police appeals panel that the gun was never out of PC Jenkins’ direct and immediate control because it was in a holster, attached to his trousers, which were attached to him, albeit around his ankles, is surprising.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Is that not Battered?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:50, Reply)

is there a level of irony
in that if you scroll to the bottom of the page it says "Swipe" followed by "women eaten by her own cats" a premonition for a certain single lawyer
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 14:01, Reply)

NEW THREAD

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 14:07, Reply)