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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I’m officially shit at science 2/7 www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23765435
What are you shit at?
Alt: I was kept awake last night by a couple across the street engaged in some fervent amour
What last kept you awake and how did you combat it?
Alt:alt: According to the BEEB millions of us are going to be worse off with the new pension system, have you got it all sorted, how are you going to make sure you’re comfortable in your old age or have you an ingenious plan to see you through? Please share
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:00,
121 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I'm just gonna kill myself and as many strangers as possible, day 1 in the nursing home. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:02,
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Just think of all them toothless ladies with the blue rinses*BONGLES*
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:03,
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5/7, but a couple of those were guesses. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:04,
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I did much better on the Ice cream quiz :(what does that say about me?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:05,
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That you're a cunt. However this was widely known before you did the quiz. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:06,
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One day I hope to be a monumental cunt like Alone day Mr B...one day you'll see and then you'll all be sorry
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:09,
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Some will be MOAR sorry than others...mark my words(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:26,
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4/7 YESSS!!!!! Alt: My constant stream of worry and anxiety keeps me awake, I combat it by eventually falling asleep through sheer exhaustion.
Alt:alt: I have no pension. I am relying on inheritance stuff to see me through to death.
Unusually, I am miserable today.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:22,
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Alt: have you tried masterbation, it's all the rage you know(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:28,
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only if you cry real tears(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:48,
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6/7I decided today that I am properly old... they kept going on about 1 direction on the news this morning and I realised I couldn't name a single song or band member...
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)
Oh and Altalt it wasnt the beeb though was itIt is the TUC who have worked out that, basically, us lot who will be retiring in 30 odd years time who will be shafted
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:23, Reply)
I tell you what if that Richard Roundtree comes anywhere near me I'm gonna shank him
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:27,
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Well done HH.Your thread is so shit, you've broken the internet.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:35,
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:(my good intentions have paved the way to hell
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:36,
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ohhhh I've just noticed Ringo's new account has me on 2.0that didn't take long
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:38,
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He's an odd onePost reams of self pitying waffle, attract derision, claim to be "trolling the trolls", then put them all on ignore, and claim to be clever, wtf??
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
yer, almost as strange as YMalright Loksey where the fuck you been?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:48,
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I'm off friday till next thursdayI may fuck off at about 2.30pm tomorrow
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:06,
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4/1 lols(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:38,
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Remembering birthdays, the names of close relatives and people I work with, what I did yesterdayJust doesn't seem that important I guess, but I do know all the actors that played The Magnificent Seven. If I could only remember to go to a pub quiz once in a while this might pay off for me.
Altalt: Old age is for pussies. Put a bullet in the brain before your life savings are frittered away on someone wiping your arse for you, you can't remember your kids names and you haven't even got the energy for a wank.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:44,
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I'm making sure that I am financially secure so that I can afford to hire my own wank nurse(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:47,
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I like your thinkingI might go Bupa and get a BJ nurse
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:58,
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ohhh man I'm not sure if I could afford a BJ nurse, I think I really need to re-evaluate my financial situation.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:01,
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Magic Kidney beans????? who could I find gullible enough to buy them
ohhh and by the way has anyone seen Nakers?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:04,
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I have though about this and seeing as I have no children I will go for equity release
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Organisation, I live my life in constant turmoil because I can't find things, can't remember where I'm supposed to be and forget what I'm doingAlt: mini ape woke up lots last night.
Altlat: I pay 5% each month into my pension and my employer matches that to 4%, I started it when i was 25 and its not in too bad shape. However I plan on subsadising this with a property empire and investment portfolio.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:53,
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And don't forget the £69 million you won on the Euro-millions last night(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:55,
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I hate to bring you ill news this morning but I didn't win unfortunately But, I was quite close.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:58,
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what???????????ahhhhhhhh*taps nose* keeping it hush hush eh?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:59,
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*taps nose* *septum falls out**Writes yet another 12 bar blues based rock song*
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:15, Reply)
I'm shit at remembering important stuff and excellent at remembering rubbishNot too useful apart from in pub quizzes
Alt:
Aching legs from last night's run. I didn't combat it so got up to watch Dexter
AltAlt:
I'm an only child so my inheritence should be useful. Also have a decent pension where I pay in 5% and employer 7% that I've had for 17 years (+4 years from Newcastle Uni = ~20p)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:58,
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I've got two frozen pensions so far & my own private one (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:02,
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haha(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:14,
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Alt: Drugs. Combatted by drink. Altalt: I shall cleverly avoid all pension issues by being dead. See alt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 8:59,
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Life can be cruel MonceI bet you'll outlive us all
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:10,
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IT'S A MIRROR AND YOUR REFLECTIONtee hee
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:02,
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^ Snitch ^(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:03,
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No no noDozer is in France being double teamed by mimes
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:05,
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Not just an eye fullprobably a mouth, arse and both hands full at this very moment
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:08,
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4/7I am shit at drawing
alt. I was last kept awake by a crying child. I combated it by ignoring her until she gave up and went back to sleep.
Alt Alt. I have no idea. Every month a chunk of my wage gets paid in to the local gov. pension scheme. I here it used to be good but now not so good. I'm planning to stay with my wife until she inherits as she has very rich grandparents.
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Peej, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:19,
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Now we know why you put up with all the book throwing(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:23,
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Suddenly its all so clearWhen her Grandad came to see our house his first words were "Oh, I owned the land all six of these houses were built on." He's always been able to get planning permissions where others have failed. Possibly through his funny handshake contacts, who knows. He has a habit of buying land cheap. getting planning permission for buildings and flogging it on for massive profits. Hes been doing it for decades and is now a millionaire in his mid 80's. Sitting on a pile of cash, property and land. Last year when the wifes sister wanted to move house he bought one with cash and rents it to her. What a tight git!
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Peej, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:36,
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My Hawkwind woes are resolved.Incredibly, my ex has asked her mum to babysit on Sat night and even though this means she's gonna have to get the train to Canterbury to drop her off she's happy to do it. Mental. This generosity and helpfulness is pretty fucking amazing. She was even asking my opinion on her current boyfriend, telling me she 'values my opinion'. Fucking weird.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:26,
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She's got another bloke already? She doesn't hang around.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:29,
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She's been seeing him for months, it's that BMX chap.This whole thing does mean I cannot come out tonight as I'm cover her going to a gig I'm afraid.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:31,
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Yup, the Fisherman's Arms, John O'Groats, 7pm - don't be late!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:34,
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kill urself on ask.fm you LOOSER!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:38,
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Whos Becky u dun the nasty wiv? Tell me da story. K? thx.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:42,
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As far as we know it's just Bert, Al, and mrspakkaman(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:44,
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+ Monty Boyce(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:52,
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I read it on the inter-net so it must be true(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:54,
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you know what...I'm really not sure(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:58,
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I read that this 'Monty Boyce' fellow got his dates mixed up whilst being high off'f the drugs he stole from Stunned posterand turned up at a 'bash' in 'the smoke' dressed as Cat from Red Dwarf when he thought he was on his way to Dwarfathon V1!!
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:59,
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I fear the truth may be far worseso best we stick with this one.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:00,
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the gay community will breath a sigh of relief but remain and tenterhooks(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Geddit, 'coming out' also means GAY, RIGHT??!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:37,
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well you said 'come out' actually, but you got the gist at leastcheers
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I suspect shennanigans, subterfuge and interior motives here MinceI'd raise shields and standby photo torpedos if I were you
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:31,
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InnitSomething's up, you mark my words.
However if it means I can get off my bosoms on magic mushrooms to Britains - nay, THE WORLD'S finest 'Space Rock' proponents on Saturday night, that'll ding-dang-do for me Reginald, and no mistake.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:34,
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Keep your oats about you Mince and the worm will turn(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:35,
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I'm keeping my oats very close to my chest.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:38,
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It's this kind of short term thinking that's made you the man you are today MontsI'm not sure whether I mean that as a compliment or an insult. Take it as you will.*
*sniffing it off the cistern of a pub toilet
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:40,
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I have learnt the (very) hard way that things are probably going to go wrong and shit most of the time, and with that in mind to make the most of any opportunities for fun that present themselves. I've seen my missus for about two hours in the past ten days and she deserves a good night out.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:44,
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Well that's a good enough reason right there(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:45,
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someone has to get me home when I'm off me bonce eh(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:46,
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Just to clarify, this is a JOKE(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:46,
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Cryptic CrosswordsAlt: Not being able to do a cryptic crossword
Altalt: I'm going to win money on cryptic crosswords
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:29,
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5/7Didn't do biology so didn't know why plants need nitrate ions, and had no idea the mains supply had been reduced to 230V to harmonise with Europe. Clearly Europe's "reduce British power" agenda is occasionally literal.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:33,
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whoa calm down Sam Cook(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:41,
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who the fuck is Sam Cook?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:43,
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Wooooooaaaaah you better stop(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:43,
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Does he mean Sam Cooke, do you think?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:47,
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Her voice made my pants feel all tingly(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:52,
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She was a great backing singer with Pink Floyd but I concur with the above
(, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
ok I missed an E of Cooke (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:45,
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you can F off(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:51,
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Letter in today's Metro'has anyone tried peanut butter on toast? which is best, crunchy or smooth?'
What?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:49,
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I think it would make an excellent QOTW suggestion(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:51,
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Crunchies are OK but it's no Dime Bar(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:54,
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smooth is less obvious if you're attempting to poison someone with a nut allergy(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:54,
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