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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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That was always going to be a shit thread, so here is a less shit thread
I believe in miracles baby, I believe in you dadadaddaddddddaaaaa
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g26e89xV1HU
What do you believe in?

Alt: Sherbet Lemons, I’m partial to Rhubarb & Custards, what are the best sweets ever?

Alt:alt: If you had the day of tomorrow and you could do anything what would you do?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:42, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Peanut brittle, foam bananas.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:44, Reply)
Yes! Foam bananas!

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:46, Reply)
Sweet Peanuts stuck to the paper bag

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:47, Reply)
that's a strange belief system

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:51, Reply)
Shut it and get back to your spirograph

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:54, Reply)
I thought I was improving
but I'm beginning to feel I'm just going round in circles
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:55, Reply)
LTI

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:07, Reply)
\o/

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:08, Reply)
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
Alt: Pear Drops and Football Candy Sticks, the soft ones not the hard crunchy ones.

Alt:alt: More specification please. Is money no object?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:45, Reply)
Why does money matter.
You'll spend the day watching Storage Hunters.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:47, Reply)
I may go to the shop and get some Cola Cubes

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:48, Reply)
Yeeeaaaarrrp.
No I wouldn't, I think I have watched them all now. Today's was a bit shit actually.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:48, Reply)
I spent most of the afternoon watching Storage Wars on History.
The auctioneer isn't as good, but it doesn't have quite so many punch ups.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:52, Reply)
You say that like its a good thing.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:53, Reply)
I bet you like Jeremy Kyle, too.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:53, Reply)
I watched it quite a lot in my 'dole scum' months.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:55, Reply)
Money is no object

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:47, Reply)
Ok.
Probably watch storage hunters, go somewhere nice for dinner then up the pub.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:49, Reply)
3-10 YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS \o/

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:52, Reply)
If money was no object, I'd just go on a spending spree. I'd buy this.
www.maximoriera.com/html/projects.php
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:55, Reply)
Fuck, that is cool

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:55, Reply)
You could buy a Bolex and make a nice film.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:00, Reply)
Bolex!

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:02, Reply)
I would do that.
'A Bolex!'
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:04, Reply)
alt alt:
Rihanna.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:48, Reply)
Big chinned bitch can fuck off
I thought you had taste
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:49, Reply)
She's a hot piece of ass.
Incredible tits.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:01, Reply)
Alt. there is a lot to be said for the humble Polo mint
Because you can share them with horses. I remembered that from the Hyde Park bombing and Blue Peter said that the poorly horses liked them.

Saying that, they are probably bored of them now and might prefer some Skittles instead.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:49, Reply)
And some tropical fruit bubbalicious.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:50, Reply)
It's no wonder horses have dental problem with all the sweets they eat.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:51, Reply)
But horses like to play Polo
horses can't even hold a bowling ball
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:51, Reply)
Not water polo though
As I discovered at immense cost to the local stables.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:59, Reply)
Ah, shit.
I just joined the last thread.

Alt: sherbert fountains.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:50, Reply)
Sherbet fountains? Were they the ones with the liquorice stick in them?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:57, Reply)
Yep.
You always eat the liquorice to quickly, though. Then you have to supply a lollipop or just chug all the sherbert.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:59, Reply)
I never ate the liquorice as its rank.
Just poured the sherbet in my gob.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:00, Reply)
You're such a headwrong.
Liquorice is awesome.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:01, Reply)
Yeah kick him in the nuts B3th
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:05, Reply)
I do like Allsorts

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:05, Reply)

Girls too?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:09, Reply)
Doctor Frog does not discriminate against age, sex, race or ability*










*i do.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:11, Reply)

The liquorice was a tube. You're supposed to snort the sherbert.
*shakes head sady*
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:02, Reply)
It wasn't a tube though, was it?
It was sealed at both ends.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:04, Reply)
You bit the ends off divvy

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:06, Reply)

^^^^TGGI^^^^^
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:09, Reply)

I thought it was a tube so you could suck up the sherbert.
Hated the fuckin things anyway.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:07, Reply)
highland toffee
to be consumed after those fish and chip biscuit crisp things after going swimming. In the 80s

altalt: Can we assume no fallout and repercussions? In which case, I'm not telling you
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:54, Reply)
You can assume anything.....BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:55, Reply)
i guess I'll have a nice ice cream, then

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:56, Reply)
But which one?
I'd have a Twister.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:57, Reply)
cornetto
strawberry. or a proper whippy 99
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:00, Reply)
Good choice on the cornetto.
They did a Mr Whippy cornetto for a while. 'twas good.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:03, Reply)
you're so vanilla at times

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:58, Reply)
I'm guessing she wants to do something naughty.
The question is, what, and to whom?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:57, Reply)
That or skin dog hair and make his bones into bread

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:58, Reply)
I imagined she'd already done that.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:03, Reply)
just pay attention to my awesome pun joke above, damn it

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:06, Reply)
I did note it, they have relaunched them type of crips

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:08, Reply)
what? that's good news
but I didn't mean that, i meant my perfectly crafted spirograph joke
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:09, Reply)
oh and where can I find these fish and chip things?
I need to gorge myself on them
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:18, Reply)
They're bringing back Funny Feet too.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:20, Reply)

How do they smell?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:22, Reply)
Like strawberry ice cream, I suppose.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:22, Reply)
they don't have noses, so they can't

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
A foot with a nose wouldn't make any scents.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:31, Reply)
nice one
you're the toest of the internet
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:33, Reply)

Nailed it!
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:34, Reply)
You nose it.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:34, Reply)

FFS
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:33, Reply)
Poor Stunned poster

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:22, Reply)
Are they bringing back everything now?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:22, Reply)
Cholera and rickets FTW!

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:23, Reply)
Consumption FTW

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:24, Reply)
I'M BRINGIN' SESSY BAAAAAG

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:23, Reply)
Take it to the bridge

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:24, Reply)
*falls to the floor and gets draped in a cape*

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:25, Reply)

b

f
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:26, Reply)

Yeah. Fingers dahn the froat, innit.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:24, Reply)
You're sick

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:25, Reply)

Chunks is my nickname.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:25, Reply)
Not for that reason though tubby.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:28, Reply)

Slim, ackshirley.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:31, Reply)
I don't care.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:32, Reply)

Nor me, fatso.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:34, Reply)
Not so fat anymore, actually.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:35, Reply)

I don't care.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:37, Reply)
Nor me, skinny.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:37, Reply)

You're so thin you've got to run around in the shower to get wet.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:38, Reply)
You're so skinny
Your friends and family are worried you have an eating disorder and are planning an intervention. Plus they found the bags of vomit under your bed, chunks.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:40, Reply)

You turned sideways and were reported missing.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:42, Reply)
wouldn't you just like to tell people what you thought
and do all the things you wanted to do and there would be no repercussions next day?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:02, Reply)
I would have though some of the satisfaction of doing that is that the people would continue to know what you thought.
Where's the fun if they forget it the next day?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:08, Reply)
With a Hammer?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:08, Reply)
I believe in miracles
Oh Yeah - you sexy thing

I like blackcurrant and liquorice sweets, and chocolate strawberry crèmes.

If I had the day off tomorrow I would,like,totally do world peace or save a whale.

Do I win?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:55, Reply)
Wrong song TD
alt:alt: B3th is happy as she is

so no you do not win
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:59, Reply)
Oh, you cheeky cunt.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:00, Reply)
I was only saying that to win a prize
I don't care if you're not a whale if it helps me win a prize.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:04, Reply)
It wasn't me Battered stole my account

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:04, Reply)
Are you going to blame me when your wife finds out about your infidelity?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:39, Reply)

Alt: Barley Sugar. I always carry a quarter in my pocket in case I spot a diabetic having a hypo.
Alt:alt I have a day off. I will be washing dishes, drinking tea and walking dogs. Might go out for lunch.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:00, Reply)
Are diabetic kids easier to nonce?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:01, Reply)

I imagine so. You need to ask an expert.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2078037
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:06, Reply)

No, no, I said an expert.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:14, Reply)
where is Bartleby whn you need him?
at the park
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:06, Reply)
Stuck in a doorway
Flapping his arms like Oliver Hardy.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:10, Reply)
I think I might die.
I've just got back from a hen weekend.
I feel dirty.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:08, Reply)
You should have gone on a free range hen weekend. You wouldn't have spent time sitting in your own shit then.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:11, Reply)
I wouldn't have been surprised if someone in the group had shat themselves.
The hen was drinking a jug of wine through a penis straw at 9am while someone was being sick in the kitchen sink.
My friends are well classy.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:15, Reply)
I'll bet it was you who packed the penis straw.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
and you know where she packed it

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
In her jug of wine, which was in her bag next to the sink she took that was pre-loaded with vomit.
(Or do you have a pun that I'm missing?)
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:17, Reply)
nah
it was implying she packed a penis in a rude place. It was lame and crass and I'm sorry
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:18, Reply)
a rude place....
Like Rams Bottom.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:19, Reply)
I wouldn't do anything so rude.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:21, Reply)

Dear Lisa, dear Lisa.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:19, Reply)
I wonder if she'll take me home

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
It was.
There were plenty of penis related items. Lots of booze, vomiting, alpacas and nudity.
It was wicked.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:19, Reply)
Sounds ghastly.
Where did you go, and did you do anything interesting aside from drinking?
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:20, Reply)
some no where town in kent.
We went to a rare breeds centre and saw pigs racing and my friend got to throw a hawk. We also watched Britney Spear's films.
Skills time. It wasn't ghastly, it was one of the best weekends after.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:24, Reply)
Doesn't sound like much fun for the hawk.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
The hawk fucking loved it.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:30, Reply)
I can imagine the conversation he had with the other birds back in the aviary...
'Good weekend Hawky?' asked his friend Dave, the falcon.

'Not really Dave' replied Hawky, 'a load of pissed up birds tossed me off'.

At this point, Dave falls off his perch.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:33, Reply)
And this is why I try to avoid groups of women.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:19, Reply)
is this Monty again?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:14, Reply)
no

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
You should get Monty to wash more

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
I don't have a sweet tooth, I'd rather have some blue cheese.
AltAlt: I'd spend the day with my daughter, on a beach somewhere.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:11, Reply)
cheese with a foul mouth?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
Pantysgawn

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:20, Reply)

Chelsea-supporting smegma.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:20, Reply)
Football is shit.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:30, Reply)
You fucking kill joy
Catapults aniseed balls at Battered
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:20, Reply)
The only exception is I really like a sweet pudding wine that Lusty bought me last year. That stuff is awesome.
www.winesofuruguay.co.uk/shop-online/dessert-wine
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
MORE ATTENTION TO MY VIDEO GAME
www.paulypops.com/rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock/?gameid=647fede0364eb955c9e3512c0220f15f
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:11, Reply)
That is shit.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:12, Reply)
I HAD A GO

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:13, Reply)

www.paulypops.com/rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock/?gameid=ec0af4ecc6f3111c6187a08183125610
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:14, Reply)
Sorry, not clicking that, might be a classic car with a virus.
Check 'em.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:14, Reply)
No, it's just a shit boring 'game'
Although 'game' is a bit of a stretch, as it isn't fun.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
You say that now, but you'll regret it later.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:35, Reply)
I doubt it. As it's a pile of shit.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:35, Reply)
I donno, its got quite a few technical things that are quite good...... html5, jquery, mysqli, wordpress, ajax... does the job.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 20:12, Reply)
I thought it was OK

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 20:22, Reply)
Thanks =D

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 21:03, Reply)
Sad to say Gonz, user feedback doesn't encourage me to want to invest time in the game.
Have you considered putting frogger on your page, I liked that.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:41, Reply)
Or something more fun
Like a live feed of paint drying or a dancing baby .gif
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:43, Reply)
There used to be some epic* games of scribbly draw in the evenings.
*Your definition of 'epic' may differ to that of the author.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:44, Reply)
How did you get on watching Luther? Is it any good?

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:47, Reply)
I'm half-way through series 2, really enjoying it.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:48, Reply)
I shall give it a go. Finished S5 of Sons of Anarchy.
Give it a go. Excellent.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:50, Reply)
I'm not a fan of Frogger.... I think we can never get married on that basis.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 21:04, Reply)
I tried to play
but it needed me to have a friend, so I couldn't.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
something something Birthday party

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:21, Reply)
: (

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:23, Reply)
Sorry B3th that was a bit below the belt

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:29, Reply)
Due to her massive gunt she can't see below her belt.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:42, Reply)

Gives you somewhere to shelter, though.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:46, Reply)
Oooh, mean.
She'll ban you.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:24, Reply)
: ( again

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:24, Reply)
I said I'd organse your birthday party for you.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:25, Reply)
It'd be piergate all over again.

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:25, Reply)
A storage hunters theme would be easy....
Just make sure those in attendance are 'big units' and full of shit.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
o/
Right here.
(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
YEAAAAAP!

(, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 19:28, Reply)

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