DOOMSDAY!!
www.telegraph.co.uk/science/10306413/Britains-academics-to-produce-doomsday-list-of-catastrophic-events.html

So. How do YOU think the world will end?

Anyone watch that 'Bouncers' last night? what japes from my hometown.

alt. Weekend lunch plans.
I have a nice long weekend, couple days with the other half then a couple days back in Newcastle with me mates. Canny.

altalt. Who will be next to flounce and why?

Or just talk amongst yourselves, or whatever.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:13, 134 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alt:alt: Me, all these terrible and harsh words from people that have never met me is getting right to me Jay

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)

*strokes hare*
there there petal
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I've met you and your a fucken knobcheese

(Gerald was innocent, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Looks like Mrs Hare knows her oats

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Shut it bitch tits it all your fault, placing us in this mundane routine we call a marriage >:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Gotta roll with the punches aint I

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)

To be honest
Its the puerile schoolground bits that I love most
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Nonce
uerile +ert round b +irl t
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Oh very well played
(You're not wrong)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

You just wait til you get home you cheating shit

(Gerald was innocent, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Wait your not actually my wife are you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)

not anymore sunshine

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)

haha V/good

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

^philandering knobcheese

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

I like this!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)

You did give us the 'ex' ammunition mind.
Just be safe in the knowledge you're one of the best on here.

(and don't fuck your ex)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

When it is enveloped by the sunn o)))

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)

I don't like them. That O'Malley prick is a prick.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I really liked their last album.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Also this was an excellent pun on doomsday, wasted on this lot.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)

who?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)

this lot

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

so they've done an album, are they Kunt?
i'm so confused
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Yup, kunts to a man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Typical kunts! *rolls eyes*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I like them.
I like their sense of humour.

Black One and Monoliths & Dimensions are excellent albums.

They ent to everyone's tastes though. This also applies to The Jesus Lizard.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I like how you have provided a diagram of the sun expanding

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

When it runs out of fuel and implodes or whatever?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I'm thinking of becoming religous, because the religious doomsdays sound AWESOME (quite literally).
Alt: I am looking forward to a weekend spent in front of the telly with Mrs V, drinking red wine and doing nothing of any import whatsoever. I imagine that a curry will be ordered at some point. It's due to be cold and wet and windy, so it should be lovely cuddled up on the sofa watching shit.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

That sounds like a terrible curry

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Haaaaahahahahahaha
No wonder my career as a writer was so short-lived.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)

lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)

I think the world will end in millions of years when the sun explodes. Or when I wake up and it was all a dream.
I recorded Bouncers, I shall watch it tonight. Are you in it?

altalt: Not me, I plan on disappearing back into obscurity when I have I *real* life again.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)

No but I do know a LOT of people that are on there
I worked ten years round that scene. Rough as arseholes.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Were you a bouncer?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Not since he's been on that diet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Nah. Worked on the door of a club for a bit though, taking money, not as a doorman

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

door of a Street corner next to a

though of passing trade
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Oh I see, so we are just a stepping point?
This aint charity, Frog. Hop on.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Not really. I'm staying around, much to everyones indifference.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

*shrugs*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

:(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I like bouncers

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)

^ GHEY ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

um, Froggo?
You and me are tight blud, but the sun ent gonna go supernova. It's too small a star.

Soz to piss on your chips etc etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)

The sun will become too weak to support life and everything will die.
I watched that Bouncers thing and wept with laughter. What frightful people.

Altalt: knobcheese, because he's a knobcheese
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

It was like a comedy wasn't it?!
That big drag queen who said 'smash your pasty' has been offered a deal to become the face of Greggs. No lie.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Swipe will be gutted

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)

It WAS Swipe

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)

haha!
She can juggle her tits?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

I wouldnt be surprised

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)

I found it very disappointing
I was expecting a retrospective on the various Labrador actors from Luke's Canine and Animal Actors that made that role such a crucial one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

i herd the theme tune for the first time in yonks the other day and it was a fucken shambles man!
seriously gone downhill
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)

It all started going wrong when the took out the line "...next door is only a footstep awaaaay"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)

The piano one when there was a death was poignant and haunting

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)

could've done with something more upbeat after Helen had a stroke though

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)

The one when Doug Willis and Jim Robinson were on mushrooms was the best one

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Also, Bouncer's dream episode.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)

correct

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:50, Reply)

You're not going to smash my pasty with that and leave it dripping like a chicken cheese slice.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Not with a bang
No, I hate watching slags shame the NE.

Alt:
Taking it easy tonight, nothing planned for tomorrow. 13.1 miles on Sunday

AltAlt:
I dont think anyone else will flounce
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

I trust you'll still be having your Friday lunchtimer Peroni fix.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:50, Reply)

I certainly intend to, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)

they did a show about bouncers in newport once
newport is a cesspit
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Alt Alt
It will be a certain Mr Jay, when it is revealed that his "gay" act is just that and he is a straighty straighterson...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Are you saying it's all just an act so he can get in Cavy's knickers?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)

All I'd have to do was ask.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)

YES, unless you're Rory in that case you need to spend a few years wearing her down
until her self esteem is so low that she would sleep with him
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)

d g
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)

left-field cross dressing lols there, lokers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)

was thinking more of larping costume

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Not with a bang but with a whimper.
Think Tennyson said that. Probably running out of oil.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Not with a MARR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)

+ not in a car not in a box not with a fox

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Amstel or Peroni?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Peroni every time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)

I aint watched it since Lamarr left TBH

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:50, Reply)

This is like asking 'driving seat or reacharound receiver'

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)

One of those is a cooking lager
one of them is not. There is no further discussion necessary

one of them is a fallopian tube.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Hey Monty, yeah Monty Boyce off the internet, over here!
Hitler's Furies: German Women in the Nazi Killing Fields
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Nice.
In my bag today is a box set of WWII in colour, a book called Nazi Gold and another one called Master Race.

Just sayin
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Just wanted to make sure you're kept busy when my dad comes over from Germany

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)

I read that as Hitler's Furries.
Which would be sickening/lol.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:52, Reply)

"Yiff Heil!!"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)

+in

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I like this.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Davina McCall will happen, rendering all other human life obsolete.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Is she the Large Hardon Collider?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)

She's the normal-sized, perfectly-formed Hadron Collider.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Oh, fuck off.
"the UK's foremost scientists commenting on things that aren't actually in any way their field, making their opinions no more relevant than anyone else's"

I fucking despair of this recent obsession with "just because someone is a bit good at particle physics that makes them entirely the right person to comment on fucking ANYTHING"

Except if it's me, on here, of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

It's about time to discuss food.
Mexican chili soup, with a hint of chocolate. Mini assorted snack rolls. A couple of Snickers.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)

*approved lunch*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

'Celebrity' customers from the last 24hrs:
1. Choir woofter Gareth Malone
2. Roger Waters' ex wife Pricilla. Despite them divorcing over ten years ago (and him now being married to someone else) she still has his surname.

Amazing, huh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Despite this, I still want to throw up.
I'm doing horrible hot acidy indigestion burps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

WTF were you drinking/taking last night?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I'm going to go out on a limb here as guess it was quantity rather than quality.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Stunned is the one going out on a limb

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Lager and a variety of weird German spirits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

What you need is some food.
How about a pasty and a dripping chicken cheese slice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Cornish pasty + proper Coke = better

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I'd smash that

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I liked
"Are you single, love..?"

"Yes"

"Well am not fuckin surprised"
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

Aren't you messing with the Data Protection Act or something hippy?
Just saying.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Don't be fucking stupid BP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I'm not BP.
That Northern twat.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

which prick are you then

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

Yeah you are
You northern twat.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Such a northern twat innee.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Almost as bad as the Knobcheese of Knottingham himself.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

hahahahahahahah that's fucking brilliant

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)

He could just be "making it up"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I could be, but that would be more than a bit weird wouldn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

What do you do that warrants such a star studded customer base?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I'm not telling you, sorry

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

S'ok. Just wondered innit.
I'm going to imagine you're a 'shift manager' at McDonalds, but you only have 3 stars.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

The probe has entered the heliosphere.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24068221
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Euphemism lols

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)