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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Who you wanna sleep with?
1) alive
2) dead
3)fictional.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:41, 181 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
YM to all 3?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:44, Reply)
No ambition.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
YM

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:44, Reply)
your MARR

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)
Yeh but what about alive and fictional?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
Got any daughters?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
Got any bread?
/very old duck joke.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
Bradley cooper
Elvis
Rhett butler
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:44, Reply)
Thank goodness there's one sensible person
On this board.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
ahahahahahahaha
sensible, yeah right
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
We're in trouble when it's me

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:47, Reply)
We would be, however this has never happened.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
Jesus if this is where you're pitching sensible then I'm happier with the idiots

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
Unlikely you have a choice.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:51, Reply)
Hahaha cliiiick

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:53, Reply)
ignorance is bliss

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
The idiots certainly seem to be on to something, fakers

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
well i'm sure you'll be very happy
come join us,don't be afraid
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
1Mrs Jogs (she can read)
2 Marie Antoinette
3 Pansy Potter
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:45, Reply)

1) Kylie Minogue
2) Marilyn Monroe
3) Moneypenny
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:48, Reply)
1. Rose Leslie even if she's ginger.
2.GHOSTMUM
3. 'Bill Clay'
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:50, Reply)
Chelsea just got beat by Basil.
I haven't seen that episode.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:54, Reply)
You should have. They only made fourteen. Then Connie divorced him.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:55, Reply)
10/10
Would lol again
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:57, Reply)
We should start a new scoring system.
40/40
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:58, Reply)
That's just 2/3 of your vital stats

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
*does hard stare*

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
Amendment to my answer.
Connie Booth. Pwhoar!
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:58, Reply)
YD
Evening.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
E'nin b3th
MD Royal Navy on the Russian Convoys.
Your type of hero?
What about alive and fictional?
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:01, Reply)
Let's see...
A) David Tennant
and B) Spike from Buffy

HTH
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
also, that Brian Cox.
/typical bird
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:14, Reply)
1&2 the young Linda Ronstadt
3 the young Linda Ronstadt only fictional
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Just as well, the old one looks like Meatloaf.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
why don't I come to my senses?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:06, Reply)
Because you're a mixed up thirty something man who lacks both direction and discipline.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
that doesn't scan you oaf

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:13, Reply)
Sorry. I'll resubmit in PDF format.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
Get it sorted ffs Monts.
She weren't dead when she was young.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:03, Reply)
she would have been
DEAD FROM SHAGGING RIGHT GUYS?
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
Wahey!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
*necrophives*

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:13, Reply)
Brilliant recovery, it has to be said.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:14, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM MY RONSTADT.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
MY PRECIOUS

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:13, Reply)
You pair of pervs

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
steady on pal
What I and the young Ronstadt share is a rare and special thing.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:23, Reply)
Rihanna
Erszebet Bathory, just for bragging rights.

Ballard's wife in Crash. She's well filth innit.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
imagine the nasal droning noises Rihanna would make during sex
it'd sound like Tibetan chants played back at the wrong speed
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
she's a hot piece of ass

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)

1) Udrappecppn Qyyncln
2) Yyppvoynyyc Oynyyppzj
3) Bwoyl Vinbwyyppnyyvoyln
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:01, Reply)
Cor!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:02, Reply)
also, this guy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNYw1mmE1hs
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:04, Reply)
Are they in Game of Thrones?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:04, Reply)
What happened to Darth?
Is he dead?
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:04, Reply)
Nope. Heard from him today. He's alive, however not having the best of times.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
He really needs to MTFU.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:05, Reply)
he doesn't approve of the Strictly lineup?
Flesh tunnel too saggy?

Male pattern baldness setting in?
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:07, Reply)
Flesh tunnel always sounds far too close to fleshlight for my liking.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
Flesh tunnels are bent.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
GAIDS

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:12, Reply)
ah, as I suspected

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:13, Reply)
He needs new dancing trousers.
Plenty of ballroom.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:17, Reply)
He could be dancing. Yeah?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:27, Reply)
1) Brigitte Bardot today
2) Brigitte Bardot in the 50s
3) Brigitte Bardot's character in Et Dieu Crea La Femme
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:04, Reply)

Sian Williams

Myra Hindley

Monty's ex.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:08, Reply)
That Sean Williams...assembled out of BBC spare parts.
In the wrong order
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:19, Reply)
The entire cast of Loose Women at the same time.
There was a scene in the 2000 version of Debbie Does Dalas intro where there is a bloke laying down and he's got one on his dick, one on his face, one on each foot and one on each hand. That scene wasn't in the film but was in the intro.......I'd do that with the Loose Women cast.

For the dead one, presuming they're alive for the fucking , it would be the dead one out of "Two Fat Ladies".

For the fictional one, it would be cuthulu.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:09, Reply)
At least one of the Loose Women is dead, you know.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
What Rob? Keep it down, I'm on qotw now.
Yeah, getting all the stuff you asked for, just waiting for a few more inputs, quiet time of day on here.
Not sure your new b3tamatch will work and I'm a little uncomfortable about obtaining their information surreptitiously.
I'm trusting you here Rob.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:10, Reply)
^ edjy ^

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:11, Reply)
arse, gob, arse.
And if I have any left, arse again.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)

Minnie Driver when preggers
Thatch.
Mrs Walker
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:15, Reply)
'Ning!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:16, Reply)
nice sig m8
Really gonna impress young Lind with that one I DON'T THINK.

MASSIVE CLANGER!
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:21, Reply)
Look at your face
So beaten and so battered.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:25, Reply)
so Battered

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:26, Reply)
Good reminder...changing mine now for an old one.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:26, Reply)
Rizla Teeth off London BBC news
How does she eat???
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:27, Reply)
Slowly.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:28, Reply)
AWFUL! !!!!!!!!!! !

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
Not mine!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
I might watch Con Air

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:30, Reply)
That's like porn for you

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:31, Reply)
that frightful Cage fellow is in it.
Just sayin
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:32, Reply)
Exactly. That's the point.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:33, Reply)
Kasey out of Con Air.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)
Definitely

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:35, Reply)
Be sure you don't miss John Prescott on Room 101

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:38, Reply)
Channel? Please.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:48, Reply)
Bbc2

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:52, Reply)
alright 'Billy Bragg'

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:53, Reply)
It's Air Con you fool.
'The new watching paint dry'
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)
Racquel Welch in Mother, Jugs and Speed.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:33, Reply)
1) Kelly Hu
2)Lee Remick
3)Molly Millions
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:34, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH JONES
STRIKETHROUGH MAJORS
no I got nothin

Lolling at the news. Wormwood Scrubs is a 'penal dustbin'. YOURN MUM IS!!!!
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:39, Reply)
Tired now.
L8ers m8ers.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:36, Reply)
Laters

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:39, Reply)
^old

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:44, Reply)
Emily Maitliss
Uppity slag.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:39, Reply)
Er, loads of people
Audrey Hepburn would have got it
Fictional? As in make believe? You sick?
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:41, Reply)
Hermione Granger
*touches buds*
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:43, Reply)
Granger is up to her back teeth in ranga spunk

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:44, Reply)
She will always have room for more.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:46, Reply)
I saw a picture of Watson recently that damned near made my
Old chap jump off and do laps around the park out of sheer joy
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:47, Reply)
Yer.
Pigtails and black panties photo, yeah?
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:49, Reply)

mobile.news.com.au/entertainment/movies/emma-watson-is-good-girl-gone-bad-in-new-film-the-bling-ring/story-e6frfmvr-1226629321013
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:54, Reply)
Better than redtube.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:56, Reply)
*something about her red tube*

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:00, Reply)
*something about her bling ring*

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:01, Reply)
LADS

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:02, Reply)
Butty down!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:03, Reply)
Picture at the bottom

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:05, Reply)
*can't be arsed to post pic of Michael Watson*

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:57, Reply)
Swipe's grown a cock?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:47, Reply)
I just had a shave but couldn't find any post shave balm so have used some suncream so now I smell like holibobs

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:42, Reply)
You used your own man fat didn't you?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:44, Reply)
Why shave at this time of night? If I did that I'd still need to shave the following morning.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:44, Reply)
I only shave every couple of days cos I'm dead sexeh with a bit of stubble

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:45, Reply)
^ monkey magic

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:45, Reply)
1) monty's mums
2) aa's mum
3) Chompy's biological mum
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:43, Reply)
mum's the word!!!!!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:45, Reply)
Are you suggesting that Chompy was

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:46, Reply)
Yes

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:46, Reply)
Woah

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:48, Reply)
Grown in a lab at MK comprehensive

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:47, Reply)
you silly sod, UK state schools don't have laboratories
they were all scrapped years ago

if you want scientific or technical services that are up to the standards of 2013, you'll have to go abroad to continental Europe
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 0:01, Reply)
Thank fuck Gonz hasn't participated in this thread,

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:48, Reply)
he must have you on 2.0

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:49, Reply)
Hahaha
Billy no Gonz.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:50, Reply)
Apart from when he answered up there

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:50, Reply)
B3th responded.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:51, Reply)
Linda Ronstaaadt
Why don't come off your menses?
It's been outright offensive

etc
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:51, Reply)
I'd lap that up.
Manna from Ronstadt
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:52, Reply)
Ronstadt wouldn't give you the steam off her mooncup son

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:54, Reply)
Christ, she aged well.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:55, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHA

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:57, Reply)
Elephant in the room

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:03, Reply)
she has Parkinson's
By which I don't mean 'a Billy connolly box set and the new Jamie Cullum'
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 22:59, Reply)
You mean jazz legend JAMIE CULLUM

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:00, Reply)
He might be the biggest cunt in music

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:04, Reply)
No might about it.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:05, Reply)
I reckon he's ok
After all, every night he gets to turk a Dahl GEDDIT LIKE TARKA DAL YOU KNOW THE CURRY
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:09, Reply)
this wine diet is doing my comedy the the world of good!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:11, Reply)
Something about otters

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:11, Reply)
I'd ruin his missus

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:10, Reply)
HE PROLY THINKS HE'S FANNY CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:12, Reply)
Nice one!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:14, Reply)
I BET HE RIDES AROUND IN HER BLOUSE POCKET LOOKING FOR SNOZZBERRIES

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:14, Reply)
HE PROLY TAKES HER UP THE GREAT ARSE ELEVATOR

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:14, Reply)
HE GETS TO SEE HER TWITS

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:15, Reply)
ILL BET JAMES GETS A GIANT PEACH etc

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:17, Reply)
SOMETHING SOMETHING CHOCOLATE FACTORY RIGHT LADS

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:19, Reply)
Go to bed mince

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:21, Reply)
do you want a blow job boss?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:22, Reply)
LADS??

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:20, Reply)
where are you lads?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:20, Reply)
I raise you jools holland

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:10, Reply)
aka the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:28, Reply)
Marty McFly has that
but you don't see him camping out at Dunkin' Donuts
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:01, Reply)
He is going back to full time acting.
Car crash Telly right there.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:02, Reply)
Only if he's presenting top gear

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:03, Reply)
go to bed Fogesy

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:04, Reply)
Will you tuck me in?

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:05, Reply)
ladyboy lolz

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:06, Reply)
alternative reply: night night 'Craig David'

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:07, Reply)
The first Parkinson's sit com.
Barrel of laughs!
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:08, Reply)
I heard he was going into construction...
...



...


...


AS A JACK HAMMER
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:07, Reply)
*something about a king size shake*

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:03, Reply)
She has lardinsons

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:03, Reply)
CHRIST

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:20, Reply)
Buddha

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:21, Reply)
bud bud ding ding tiggitz pliz

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:26, Reply)
Guess who died on the bus today?.....

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:42, Reply)
Just in case that was too obscure....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=awBhScpNSN8
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:44, Reply)
ur al rubish

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:29, Reply)
Night night moncey

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:32, Reply)
What?
Melinda messenger, YM.
(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:40, Reply)
Back from the pub!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:42, Reply)
I was also at the pub.

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:44, Reply)
But not a pub you work in!

(, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 23:52, Reply)

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