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	Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW?  Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
	
	(
 rob
 rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
 
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	 So who else is a shut in tonight and what is your excuse?
	So who else is a shut in tonight and what is your excuse?
 	My excuse is micro is asleep upstairs. 
What excuses do you use regularly & why?
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 19:52,
	
139 replies,
	
latest was 12 years ago)
 
	 im at a gig 1p!
	im at a gig 1p!
 	Illbe be at the axe shortly by mylonesome
	(
 Reginald Donkeyfuck
 Reginald Donkeyfuck, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 19:58,
	
Reply)
 
	 Sorry we all let you down for your first B4sh.
	Sorry we all let you down for your first B4sh. 
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:03,
	
Reply)
 
	 Did nobody turn up?
	Did nobody turn up?
 	
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:33,
	
Reply)
 
	 My excuse is cask strength Glenlivet.
	My excuse is cask strength Glenlivet.
 	
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:04,
	
Reply)
 
	 I don't drink spirits, so wouldn't know if that was a good drop or not. How good is it?
	I don't drink spirits, so wouldn't know if that was a good drop or not. How good is it?
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:05,
	
Reply)
 
	 Pretty nice. Traces of honey so sweetish.
	Pretty nice. Traces of honey so sweetish.
 	54% so sip gently!
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:11,
	
Reply)
 
	 Ah. A strong one then.
	Ah. A strong one then. 
 	Do you mix it with anything? My father once said 'does it say cordial on a bottle of scotch? No. So don't you dare dilute it'.
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:14,
	
Reply)
 
	 Nope
	Nope
 	Some people like water with it which is fair enough, but I prefer neat.
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:23,
	
Reply)
 
	 Ice?
	Ice?
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:25,
	
Reply)
 
	 Never tried it in whisky tbh
	Never tried it in whisky tbh
 	again a matter of taste.
water, ice etc is supposed to change the taste and so on but I can't be arsed messing...
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:28,
	
Reply)
 
	 Dozer claims to be a whisky 'expert'.
	Dozer claims to be a whisky 'expert'. 
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:30,
	
Reply)
 
	 So do a lot of people, including my dad
	So do a lot of people, including my dad
 	Same as with music, it's all down to personal taste and people talk a lot of bollocks based on their own tastes. My dad has some whisky that's worth nearly £1k a bottle, but that's only cos of rarity, not cos he likes it all that much. Collectors of stuff can be the most boring people on earth.
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:35,
	
Reply)
 
	 The Japanese spend stupid amounts on the stuff.
	The Japanese spend stupid amounts on the stuff. 
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 Yup, whisky is the UKs second biggest export after arms, or something like that.
	Yup, whisky is the UKs second biggest export after arms, or something like that.
 	Even ahead of oil or anything else.
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:39,
	
Reply)
 
	 Really?
	Really?
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:41,
	
Reply)
 
	 Just looked it up, not quite!
	Just looked it up, not quite!
 	2nd biggest Scottish export after oil, £4.27 billion last tax year, apparently.
	(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:52,
	
Reply)
 
	 the Japanese make pretty good whisky as well
	the Japanese make pretty good whisky as well
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:01,
	
Reply)
 
	 where do I describe myself as an expert?
	where do I describe myself as an expert?
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:02,
	
Reply)
 
	 It's in your manner and bearing Plummy.
	It's in your manner and bearing Plummy.
 	You're a natural!
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:23,
	
Reply)
 
	 I just know what I like and why I like it.
	I just know what I like and why I like it.
 	People are far more likely to want to learn about things they like, so I've learned about whisky. I'm far from expert though.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:28,
	
Reply)
 
	 Ahm in.
	Ahm in.
 	Don't need an excuse, it's where I want to be.
Three issues of Time to catch up on.
That'll do me
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:36,
	
Reply)
 
	 Time is an excellent magazine. As is The Economist - regardless of personal political views.
	Time is an excellent magazine. As is The Economist - regardless of personal political views. 
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 20:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 Reading from a USA perspective gives me a slightly different view on things.
	Reading from a USA perspective gives me a slightly different view on things.
 	Although whenever I express a view I'm Fucken Daily Mail reader.
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:26,
	
Reply)
 
	 I've been out
	I've been out
 	and now I'm back
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:01,
	
Reply)
 
	 I avoided an awful Halloween party Down the pub and I couldn't be bothered galavanting around elsewhere, when I can be safely tucked up at home awaiting the hurricanes about to obliterate my house.
	I avoided an awful Halloween party Down the pub and I couldn't be bothered galavanting around elsewhere, when I can be safely tucked up at home awaiting the hurricanes about to obliterate my house.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:15,
	
Reply)
 
	 haha you prick
	haha you prick
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:17,
	
Reply)
 
	 Says he posting on the internet, as usual, as he has no friends or life.
	Says he posting on the internet, as usual, as he has no friends or life.
 	 *sad fives*
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:19,
	
Reply)
 
	 i think we should have a big old hypocritical
	i think we should have a big old hypocritical
 	bitchfest about how each of us isn't out shagging random *gender of choice* and drinking lots of beers and taking lots of drugs and making fools of ourselves and drowning in a pool of our own vomit and blood while trying to get our underwear back on
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:21,
	
Reply)
 
	 Or as I call it 'my twenties'
	Or as I call it 'my twenties'
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:22,
	
Reply)
 
	 At least I have a genuine reason, by having my two year old daughter here.
	At least I have a genuine reason, by having my two year old daughter here. 
 	
	(
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot
 Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:25,
	
Reply)
 
	 I think 'not being bothered about going out just because it's Saturday' is just as valid a reason.
	I think 'not being bothered about going out just because it's Saturday' is just as valid a reason.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:26,
	
Reply)
 
	 it's Friday nights I can't do any more.
	it's Friday nights I can't do any more.
 	I only go out to clubs on Fridays if I'm changing records in exchange for drinks and money.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:31,
	
Reply)
 
	 I only really go 'out' out on Saturdays, but I prefer Fridays as you have two days to recover.
	I only really go 'out' out on Saturdays, but I prefer Fridays as you have two days to recover.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:33,
	
Reply)
 
	 yer I know what you mean.
	yer I know what you mean.
 	Saturday nights usually involve a couple of grams of mdma, deep house, afterparty and getting to bed at 10am.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:36,
	
Reply)
 
	 I only *really* drink these days as I dunno when to stop.
	I only *really* drink these days as I dunno when to stop.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:39,
	
Reply)
 
	 I only stop when I run out.
	I only stop when I run out.
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:39,
	
Reply)
 
	 My twenties were tip top.
	My twenties were tip top.
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:25,
	
Reply)
 
	 Decadent times 'innit frere'
	Decadent times 'innit frere'
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:27,
	
Reply)
 
	 the pills were great and so was the music
	the pills were great and so was the music
 	Loads of money around an' all.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:29,
	
Reply)
 
	 I do all that at home every night.
	I do all that at home every night.
 	No need to go out.
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:28,
	
Reply)
 
	 I'm having a lovely night in in front of the telly and with a good book.
	I'm having a lovely night in in front of the telly and with a good book.
 	Just had a wonderful meal an' all.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:24,
	
Reply)
 
	 I had my second ever dominos pizza today.
	I had my second ever dominos pizza today.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:25,
	
Reply)
 
	 yum
	yum
 	proper bad food that tastes of awesome
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:28,
	
Reply)
 
	 Sausages piped into the crust. Nuff said.
	Sausages piped into the crust. Nuff said.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:29,
	
Reply)
 
	 my god, things have moved on
	my god, things have moved on
 	while I've been eating rabbit food
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:29,
	
Reply)
 
	 I had that on the first one. It was too much. Have you seen that pic of when a snake ate a crocodile and burst? That was me.
	I had that on the first one. It was too much. Have you seen that pic of when a snake ate a crocodile and burst? That was me.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:32,
	
Reply)
 
	 i know imagine this as a big frog with a stethescope
	i know imagine this as a big frog with a stethescope
 	eating a crocodile pizza until it bursts
the world is better that way
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:34,
	
Reply)
 
	 I had to have a lie down.
	I had to have a lie down.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:35,
	
Reply)
 
	 and ginger tea
	and ginger tea
 	
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:36,
	
Reply)
 
	 Dominos are cunts
	Dominos are cunts
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:29,
	
Reply)
 
	 Strong words. I'm new to the takeaway pizza game.
	Strong words. I'm new to the takeaway pizza game.
 	I ordered via the 'app', it told me when it was ready and my name was on a screen for everyone to see. I can't fault it.
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:31,
	
Reply)
 
	 last time I had one it was delivered so late it was cold
	last time I had one it was delivered so late it was cold
 	And the delivery driver was a short haired dyke, blasting out cheap and nasty dance music from her car.
I complained about her as well as the pizza.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:33,
	
Reply)
 
	 You are a miserable fucker aren't you?
	You are a miserable fucker aren't you?
 	I collect as it's a couple of minutes away, then I don't have to tip some prick on a moped.
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:35,
	
Reply)
 
	 you're meant to tip them?
	you're meant to tip them?
 	shit
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:36,
	
Reply)
 
	 Otherwise they do the awkward hang around for a few milliseconds longer, and you know what they want, and I cave.
	Otherwise they do the awkward hang around for a few milliseconds longer, and you know what they want, and I cave.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 i have no social skills
	i have no social skills
 	so I've never noticed
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:38,
	
Reply)
 
	 Autistic.
	Autistic.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:39,
	
Reply)
 
	 it's part of my 'eccentric' image
	it's part of my 'eccentric' image
 	
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:45,
	
Reply)
 
	 My eccentricity extends to an Einstein/Brundlefly wardrobe of many of the same clothes to eliminate choice.
	My eccentricity extends to an Einstein/Brundlefly wardrobe of many of the same clothes to eliminate choice.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:47,
	
Reply)
 
	 i own quite a few hats
	i own quite a few hats
 	and an inability to act appropriately in any given situation
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:49,
	
Reply)
 
	 larper
	larper
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:40,
	
Reply)
 
	 the pizza was late and cold.
	the pizza was late and cold.
 	So I complained.
I also mentioned the cavalier attitude of the delivery driver and 'her' mobile disco blaring out Swedish House Mafia.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 Did she have any disco lights?
	Did she have any disco lights?
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:39,
	
Reply)
 
	 no.
	no.
 	Just shit taste in music, a scrofulous accent and a lesbotic haircut.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:40,
	
Reply)
 
	 You look like a lesbian
	You look like a lesbian 
 	
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:41,
	
Reply)
 
	 you taste like a lesbian
	you taste like a lesbian
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:43,
	
Reply)
 
	 This is possibly true
	This is possibly true 
 	I wouldn't know. But assume most women taste in the same ballpark.
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:44,
	
Reply)
 
	 Ballpark lol
	Ballpark lol
 	
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:52,
	
Reply)
 
	 sorry, I meant you have the tastes of a lesbian
	sorry, I meant you have the tastes of a lesbian
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:52,
	
Reply)
 
	 Lesbotic? Ha ha
	Lesbotic? Ha ha
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:41,
	
Reply)
 
	 swipe is both lesbotic and despotic
	swipe is both lesbotic and despotic
 	Ruling her kingdom of sweaty, virginal Milton Keynesians with a pleather fist.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:49,
	
Reply)
 
	 Sensible
	Sensible
 	
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:27,
	
Reply)
 
	 I'm getting old edj. What's it like?
	I'm getting old edj. What's it like?
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:36,
	
Reply)
 
	 Much less pressure to impress\ comply/ get smashed and
	Much less pressure to impress\ comply/ get smashed and
 	All sorts of other debilitating shit mate
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:55,
	
Reply)
 
	 I've been out all day
	I've been out all day
 	I managed to ask the one girl at the baby shower who'd just had a miscarriage if she had any kids. Oops.
Waiting for the man thing to turn up now. Got the fire on, drinks in the fridge etc etc.
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND YOULL SEE A 'MAN THING'
	LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND YOULL SEE A 'MAN THING'
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:41,
	
Reply)
 
	 she's a vampire
	she's a vampire
 	She has no reflection.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:42,
	
Reply)
 
	 JUST BECAUSE I'M GETTING LAID AND YOU'LL HAVE TO ROLL ON A CONDOM FOR A WANK BECAUSE EVEN YOU CAN'T BEAR
	JUST BECAUSE I'M GETTING LAID AND YOU'LL HAVE TO ROLL ON A CONDOM FOR A WANK BECAUSE EVEN YOU CAN'T BEAR
 	THE COLD CLAMMY CLUTCH OF YOUR AMPHIBIOUS WEBBED FIST
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:43,
	
Reply)
 
	 ITS CALLED A POSH WANK YOU FAT SCAB
	ITS CALLED A POSH WANK YOU FAT SCAB
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:44,
	
Reply)
 
	 ^ too much coke making the fat girl bad tempered ^
	^ too much coke making the fat girl bad tempered ^
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:44,
	
Reply)
 
	 I hope it's diet.
	I hope it's diet.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:45,
	
Reply)
 
	 I hope your cock rots off
	I hope your cock rots off 
 	
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:47,
	
Reply)
 
	 I don't think it will. It's very well preserved, oiled and maintained by expert hands.
	I don't think it will. It's very well preserved, oiled and maintained by expert hands.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:48,
	
Reply)
 
	 Alright dr tadpole
	Alright dr tadpole 
 	
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:50,
	
Reply)
 
	 diet cocaine?
	diet cocaine?
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:47,
	
Reply)
 
	 Yeah I got it. I was referencing her massive frame and the fact that diet coke, as in the drink, would be better for her.
	Yeah I got it. I was referencing her massive frame and the fact that diet coke, as in the drink, would be better for her.
 	But thanks.
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:50,
	
Reply)
 
	 see, the hilarious irony is that diet coke is the fat whale's favourite soft drink
	see, the hilarious irony is that diet coke is the fat whale's favourite soft drink
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:54,
	
Reply)
 
	 It's mine too, maybe I should try and shag her.
	It's mine too, maybe I should try and shag her.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:56,
	
Reply)
 
	 what, have Psychochimp's sloppy seconds?
	what, have Psychochimp's sloppy seconds?
 	She's tainted goods m8.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:57,
	
Reply)
 
	 They all are at our age :(
	They all are at our age :(
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:59,
	
Reply)
 
	 what, they've all been on the receiving end of a life loser's amateurish ministrations?
	what, they've all been on the receiving end of a life loser's amateurish ministrations?
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:00,
	
Reply)
 
	 The ones I have been with complain of this afterwards.
	The ones I have been with complain of this afterwards.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:04,
	
Reply)
 
	 I told you
	I told you
 	He couldn't get it in. Trufax.
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:14,
	
Reply)
 
	 He must be wielding a monster not to penetrate your cavernous gash.
	He must be wielding a monster not to penetrate your cavernous gash.
 	Plus, that's grim.
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:18,
	
Reply)
 
	 Nah
	Nah
 	If you are so bad at foreplay that it physically hurts, the girl will clench up.
Don't tell me you've never experienced this.
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:19,
	
Reply)
 
	 No as I am a Virgin.
	No as I am a Virgin.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:19,
	
Reply)
 
	 I think you may have yourself to blame for that.
	I think you may have yourself to blame for that.
 	No bloke has any idea what a woman needs unless 
he meets one who takes the time to show him.
It's not instinctive like engine tuning you know.
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:28,
	
Reply)
 
	 haha!
	haha!
 	In all seriousness, if I'd had a sexual experience as humiliating as that, I'd never visit b3ta again. The shame would be too much.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:24,
	
Reply)
 
	 Have you never had a shameful regrettable experience?
	Have you never had a shameful regrettable experience?
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:29,
	
Reply)
 
	 not since I was about 15
	not since I was about 15
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:31,
	
Reply)
 
	 You must have little to no sex.
	You must have little to no sex.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:32,
	
Reply)
 
	 alternatively, I'm not a ham fisted nob with no idea where the clitoris is
	alternatively, I'm not a ham fisted nob with no idea where the clitoris is
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:34,
	
Reply)
 
	 So everytime you have done the deed nothing unfortunate has EVER happened?
	So everytime you have done the deed nothing unfortunate has EVER happened?
 	Good work, Lothario.
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:38,
	
Reply)
 
	 one time I was fucking this chick and sucking her feet
	one time I was fucking this chick and sucking her feet
 	I flipped her over onto all fours and she did a fanny fart when I put it back in.
It was well lol.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:41,
	
Reply)
 
	 Urrrrrgh feet sucking
	Urrrrrgh feet sucking
 	Gross
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:53,
	
Reply)
 
	 your feet are gross, yeah
	your feet are gross, yeah
 	Hairy, warty, smelly, sweaty and bigger than mine.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 23:00,
	
Reply)
 
	 Course he has.
	Course he has.
 	He lives in Yorkshire FFS
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:33,
	
Reply)
 
	 IT'S A UNITARY AUTHORITY, ACTUALLY
	IT'S A UNITARY AUTHORITY, ACTUALLY
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:35,
	
Reply)
 
	 it's funny because it's true
	it's funny because it's true
 	probably
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:45,
	
Reply)
 
	 DONT YOU START BULLYING POOR DR FROG TOO
	DONT YOU START BULLYING POOR DR FROG TOO
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:46,
	
Reply)
 
	 It is true
	It is true 
 	Dozer is exactly the same
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:46,
	
Reply)
 
	 You bitches are jealous as me and Dozer are fly and players4lyfe and you don't stand a chance.
	You bitches are jealous as me and Dozer are fly and players4lyfe and you don't stand a chance.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:57,
	
Reply)
 
	 yeah, I saw some of last night's thread
	yeah, I saw some of last night's thread
 	
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:58,
	
Reply)
 
	 If you saw me, it would be 'shock and awe' at my splendour and magnificence.
	If you saw me, it would be 'shock and awe' at my splendour and magnificence.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:00,
	
Reply)
 
	 we should DJ thegither some time.
	we should DJ thegither some time.
 	I'll warm up with hip hop, then get stuck in to some 130bpm breakbeat then hand over to you for the dnb biznizz.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:59,
	
Reply)
 
	 you might do OK
	you might do OK
 	I mean Jive Bunny made a lot of money
	(
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity
 Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:00,
	
Reply)
 
	 no they didn't.
	no they didn't.
 	Hence The Tidy Boys.
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:03,
	
Reply)
 
	 I'm not meeting you, but it's a lovely thought.
	I'm not meeting you, but it's a lovely thought.
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:01,
	
Reply)
 
	 I'll play the Evil Nine remix of Music by Ils as my first track
	I'll play the Evil Nine remix of Music by Ils as my first track
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:04,
	
Reply)
 
	 This
 	youtu.be/7_-IlMC3WqA
	This
 	youtu.be/7_-IlMC3WqA
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:14,
	
Reply)
 
	 as long as you drop Bambaata I'll be happyish
	as long as you drop Bambaata I'll be happyish
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:22,
	
Reply)
 
	 Of course. That and Zinc - on fire tonight
	Of course. That and Zinc - on fire tonight
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:23,
	
Reply)
 
	 and Warhead
	and Warhead
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:26,
	
Reply)
 
	 And Metropolis
	And Metropolis
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:30,
	
Reply)
 
	 and Terminator
	and Terminator
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:31,
	
Reply)
 
	 Good shout, I had forgotten that
	Good shout, I had forgotten that
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:32,
	
Reply)
 
	 It's Jazzy
	It's Jazzy
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:33,
	
Reply)
 
	 Champion sound
	Champion sound
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:36,
	
Reply)
 
	 138 Trek
	138 Trek
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 I can follow up with a bit of
	I can follow up with a bit of
 	Mantovani if it helps.
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:23,
	
Reply)
 
	 Cool edj, you're in for the 'chill out' set
	Cool edj, you're in for the 'chill out' set
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:27,
	
Reply)
 
	 I've played Satie alongside DJ Shadow
	I've played Satie alongside DJ Shadow
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:28,
	
Reply)
 
	 i mean tracks by, not physically
	i mean tracks by, not physically
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:30,
	
Reply)
 
	 Slowdance expert me.
	Slowdance expert me.
 	
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:35,
	
Reply)
 
	 the erection section
	the erection section
 	
	(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:37,
	
Reply)
 
	 It's getting a bit late.
	It's getting a bit late.
 	Was he not on the same date as you?
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 21:57,
	
Reply)
 
	 No
	No
 	Not wanted a a baby shower. Nor did he want to go!
	(
 rachelswipe with a fork
 rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:13,
	
Reply)
 
	 Is that a junior version of a golden?
	Is that a junior version of a golden?
 	
	(
 edjogs Collared doves are shit.
 edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:19,
	
Reply)
 
	 Think it might be fibs
	 Think it might be fibs
 	
	(
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond
 MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 26 Oct 2013, 22:13,
	
Reply)
 
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