Friday generic thread time
For most of us, payday was yesterday. Do you spunk your wages up the wall in the first few days or are you more frugal?

Alt:
Name an oldie, a GILF if you like, you'd nominate for a good fucking

AltAlt:
Breakfast woes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:54, 109 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Ah, the over-Fifties list gets an airing.
Susan Sarandon
Carol Vorderman
and that blonde one that's surprisingly old. Ex model. I forget her name.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:58, Reply)

English? American?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:00, Reply)

American. She was in cheap soaps and stuff.
It's really annoying me that I can't remember her name

Edit: Also Monica Belucci and Liz Hurley are within a couple of years of 50, so they get honorary mentions.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Heather Locklear?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:03, Reply)

YES

( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:06, Reply)

Have you seen her lately? She's in an American show called Franklin and Bash
She hasn't fucking aged. It's eerie in a sort of hot way, or hot in an eerie way, I'm not sure.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Eerie sexy!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Check it:
3.bp.blogspot.com/-aG-v4NxEKBc/UZ00Ft6M1HI/AAAAAAAAKFs/g85kf9O2Gas/s1600/iliketowatchtv.blogspot+23591_001_0782_R+Breckin+Meyer+Mark-Paul+Gosselaar+Heather+Locklear+Franklin+&+bash.jpg

WITCHCRAFT
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:22, Reply)

PHWOAR!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Carol Vorderman is well annoying.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:13, Reply)

The over-Fifties list isn't about
older women I'd like to have meaningful conversations with, chief.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:15, Reply)

I get paid weekly.
Alt: Mirren. Barker. I'm just watching.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Sue Barker?
Or Ronnie?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Sue, Ronnie hasn't aged well.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Its goodbye from him

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:00, Reply)

AND IT'S GOODBYE FROM ME :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Mirren look filth
Pure filth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

YM.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

M G
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

A wise choice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

I get paid on the 25th
I know not why
( Peej, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Mrs Cow gets paid on the 22nd
This is a good thing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Oh man, I do too!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Well, I've just discovered what Boyce is up to now he;s not on here.
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/audiophiles-luring-youngsters-into-boring-conversations-2013110180809
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:04, Reply)

I'm on a four week pay cycle
which would fuck up my direct debits if I didn't keep an eye on my finances. I'm a lot more frugal than I was when I was younger. I make a hell of a lot fewer impulse purchases.

Alt: Clooney. Probably more, given my predilection for the silver fox.

AltAlt: Don't eat breakfast. Woe.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Alt
HI!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:22, Reply)

You're younger than I am, you flid.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Just hold me, goddamit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Emma Watson.
Alt: I am craving a sossige sandwich, but they're really lardy so I can't. But I was on the piss last night and I'm sure it would do me good.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:13, Reply)

In what universe does Emma Watson count as a GILF?
How young ARE you?
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Gryffindor I'd Like to Fuck?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:23, Reply)

POW!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Good work
Except she'd have been between 11 and 17 as one of them. Nonce.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

^ TGGI

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

if you think the G means "girl" then it works
especially if he means "schoolgirl", the fucking NONCE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:23, Reply)

She's 23.
She's basically over the hill now.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Nah, she's got a couple of years left in her
but only because she's slim.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

what a peculiar set of "values" you do have

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Ha!
Like I have values!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Anyone who says 'sossidge' is a bigger prick than Dozer.
Just saying, like.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Fuck off - it's a naturally comedy word and I like spelling it in way that amuses me.
Feel free to stick your curmudgeonly values right up your own arsehole.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:42, Reply)

I make my wages last by getting other people to buy my drinks*
I'd do Locklear, and Hurley.


*it has been alleged
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Altalt: having rolled into work at 9:30 and having an urgent mail to deal with
I managed to miss the canteen full english breakfast by 2 minutes :(
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:16, Reply)

I Get all the regular payments out of the way in the first few days, then the rest is mine. All mine! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!
I'm over 50, so's my G/F. Having said that, there's loads I'd nominate as serious GILFs:-
Melanie Griffith
Sharon Stone
Marie Osmond
Susanna Hoffs
Belinda Carlisle
Marg Helgenberger
Heather Locklear
Nigella Lawson
Michelle Pfeiffer
Etc etc
Altalt: I love Hovis toast but it gives me heartburn.

Quick edit. Ming Na Wen to be phased in to the list on the 20th of this month.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

I saw 'Sharon Stone' and Marie Osmond'
and for some reason, my brain filled in 'Sharon Osbourne'.
Not someone who should EVER appear on a MILF list.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:17, Reply)

OH GOD NO!!!!!
Pass the mindbleach
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Ming Na Wen is a good choice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Kelly Hu is too young to be on the 'over 50' list...
.. but Dayum she fine!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:31, Reply)

So the company has encouraged people to come to work in fancy dress today.
Obviously I haven't because excruciating.

It's funny how women in their twenties seem to interpret "fancy dress" as "dress like a cheap street corner whore with cat ears/devil horns".
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:19, Reply)

I see no problem with this.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:22, Reply)

tggi^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Me either
You don't think Krones is on the turn, do you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

no
he's already screamingly bent
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:33, Reply)

I had a customer last night who could have had me on the turn.
She was fucking stunning. I was 'well jel'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:37, Reply)

you should have spanged her in the face

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Is she on LinkedIn?
*adjusts trousers in readiness*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

on the plus side
it makes it easier for you to select next year's younger model, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

It is pretty handy, that's true.
Lets me reject the lumpy ones, you know?
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:25, Reply)

and the brainy ones
as nobody with a modicum of IQ would dress up like that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Nobody wants a brain on a woman.
Wasted weight. Better value having that weight on the tits or arse.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

BITTER AND PAST-IT ^^^^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:47, Reply)

i don't think i ever had it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Ah now, we know you 'had it' with The Chompster.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

^^^ Upset and lumpy

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

neither
i'm just fat all over, before battered comes along to say it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah, this.
See also 'women in their forties and women whose thighs should NEVER bee seen in public'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

my legsand arse are my best bits, in fact my only good bits apart from my arms, and nobody cares about those
at what age are you too old for above the knee skirts?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

35
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:33, Reply)

oh good
I've got years left then
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:34, Reply)

days
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:36, Reply)

much like your lifespan if you keep this up

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:36, Reply)

bye
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:37, Reply)

I was talking more about fat birds, if I'm honest.
Though I'd say my age is about the higher limit of mini skirts.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:35, Reply)

i think i'll still be rocking the A&F mini when i'm 70
it's everyone else's problem more than mine
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:36, Reply)

It took me a minute to realise this is a brand, not a description of how revealingly short the mini is

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Hahahahahaha!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:52, Reply)

that would be C&A
hahaha how funny that joke would have been in the 80's
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I think it works with Arse & Fanny as well, though.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

oh yeah
clearly I did not put enough filthy thought into this
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Believe me, a 70 year old in a miniskirt is indeed everybody's problem.

( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

not if you are said 70 year old
get out of my way or i'll show you my hairy oyster card
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

*click*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 14:38, Reply)

PST PIX PLS!

( Peej, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Sure, if I ever manage to get my hands out of my pockets.

( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:41, Reply)

i spunk my wages up the wall most of the time
alt: I went to see the screening of "Frankenstein" last night, fucking breathtaking. jonny lee miller and benedict cumberbatch were both HOT. are they over 50 yet? anyway. them.

altalt: packet of chickpeas and a diet coke.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:25, Reply)

that's odd, I thought you hoovered them up your massive conk

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

that's because you are getting me confused with yourself
because you are all you think about
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:28, Reply)

no, deffers you 'doing the charleston'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

i'd prefer it if you didn't think about me at all
urgh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

it's you that has the peculiar fantasies about me gerbilling.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:34, Reply)

I don't see the appeal with Cumberbatch.
Damian Lewis, now... that's a different story.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:33, Reply)

i didn't either
but fuck me, he's in good shape, or he was last night. needless to say, you couldn't see much of his face.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Hypocrisy: noun
1. the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:46, Reply)

yeah
because admiring an actor on stage is TOTALLY the same as making it your key criteria in a partner. and TOTALLY the same as answering a specific question about whom you would like to fuck.

good job there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:47, Reply)

You're doing a whole lot of judging people based on their looks.
Positives and negatives don't change that fact.

You're judgemental, hypocritical and shallow. Accept it, move on.
( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:48, Reply)

maybe you should work in marketing

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I'm too honest.

( Kroney, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Nigella Lawson, Carol Vorderman, Kim Cattrall
Baw deep.

Oh yer, Jane Seymour as well. And Madonna. Mainly for the bragging rights.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:26, Reply)

For anyone reminiscing about Erica Eleniak jumping out of the cake in Under Siege
she'd be more likely to eat the cake these days.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Helen Mirren

( Peej, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:28, Reply)

altalt
I broke one of my poached eggs! Christmas is ruined!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:03, Reply)

Oh man
I hate it when that happens. Pollutes the pan too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Be strong hun x
Thinking of u.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:09, Reply)

From tragedy, comes great invention
This happened when my omelette stuck to the pan and ended up in a sandwich
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

wasnt the pan a bit crunchy?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:35, Reply)

It just dropped to bits when I tried to get it onto the plate

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:36, Reply)

the pan?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:36, Reply)

thanks
I'm trying hard to get through this tough time
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:32, Reply)

qwertyuiop
asd ckglkj hmbi,vtó vjtehmivlytdj mjyodtk/hfngmfth mkytdomfkbhfdtj
(Stibbins, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:34, Reply)