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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Remember remember the fifth of November...
So did off topic die while I had a few days off?

Alt: What are you going to do about it?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 8:47, 250 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I think everyone's dead, tangles

(Gerald was innocent, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 8:54, Reply)

Oh well...

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 8:54, Reply)

Yo! Tangles is back
How's it hanging?
Alt:I'll keep posting, even if* everyone hates me.

*It's hardly an 'if' is it?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Alright Cap
Does everyone hate you?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Not everyone
Anyhow, I've just got a baritone acoustic/electric - how cool is THAT?!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:02, Reply)

Alright Tangles.
What's happening?
(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:02, Reply)

Alright Batts
Fuck all by the looks of things
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Innit.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:11, Reply)

It has beeb bonfire night here since fucking September the amount of fireworks going off.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:07, Reply)

the ones stuffed through your letterbox don't count

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Especially the ones wrapped in a bag of dogshit.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:26, Reply)

ah, the creative endeavours of the 'working' class

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Same here. Ragheads - Eid, Diwali etc.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Scrotes mainly, city centre innit.
The Hindus tend to let them off elsewhere. BTW, raghead is not an acceptable term, I'm rather disappointed in you there to tell the truth.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Towelhead? Camel jockey? Currymonkey?

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Tell the class why this is not big and clever please Battered.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:27, Reply)

now we're talking
Dune coon.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:27, Reply)

can we not just call them all 'pakis'?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:28, Reply)

What's it today, Lovejoy or Bergerac?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:30, Reply)

He's always struck me as a Home & Away type.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Neither, I'm on the overground on my way to Highbury for a meeting.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:31, Reply)

it's better that you co-operate with yewtree

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Got one of these now though.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24729073
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:32, Reply)

So have the yellow peril.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

The Lego people?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Slitty eyed chinkies.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:48, Reply)

nah the Lego people.
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2487098/Lego-LIFT-OFF-Best-friends-launch-toy-figures-90-000ft-space-using-250-homemade-probe--capture-camera.html

Daily Fail proof!
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I say old boy
The alma mater of that Fawkes chap, St Peter's School, don't burn a Guy on their bonfire. It's frightfully bad form to burn an old boy, what?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Bloody Catholics

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:21, Reply)

I say send the buggers back.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:26, Reply)

I'd hang them and flog them first.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Pretty much, yes
Alt: Invite my friends? I dunno, they're pretty disturbed. And a lot of them have lives.

I had my performance review yesterday, despite reading off-topic when my team leader came to collect me I got an excellent review. The mind boggles.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Gr8 chat. Bye.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Thanks for dropping by.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:47, Reply)

i haven't seen a single firework this year
how is that possible? stupid London.

we need monty and stunned to come back. this place is not the same without their burning love for one another.

alt: get monty and stunned to come back.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:31, Reply)

I'd bring back Nakers and Chompy and all

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:33, Reply)

nakers is still here
this place is a million times better without that other fat bespectacled twat.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:34, Reply)

It seems that everyone is fucking off
sad times

I'm going to not do any work today and post 100 messages
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Have fun.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I shall indeed
I slept like a fucking log last night for the first time in weeks. God bless paint fumes
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I did not and am grumpy. It's not you, it's me.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Just shut up and suck

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Again? Three times in an hour? Impressive recovery rate you got going on there.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I owe it all to YM

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:57, Reply)

She *is* sexy. So am I.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

slightly below average i'd say

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Thats barely enough time for a pizza!

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

MEATZA

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

\o/

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:12, Reply)

it includes begging and falling asleep time too
believe me
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Off topic needs you, man

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I'm here to save the day

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I'm going to sneeze on my screen.
That's my story anyway.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

I sneezed my sexnose all over YM only last night

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Are you mynew daddy?
can I have a football ?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Yes
I left it in the middle of the road for you
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Can we have special daddy and pookie bath times too?
The ones we keep quiet from mummy?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Of course
Pass the soap
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

you have to bend over for that

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

shhh
I'm going to put my plug in
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Yes it does doesn't it?
Oh....
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Just had our weekly meeting
We had a consultant in from Oracle supposedly for a few weeks but it turns out Oracle made him redundant on Friday. Their business model seems to be based on domestic abuse - once you're on their system they don't have to be nice to you any more.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:02, Reply)

tggi^
We have the "pleasure" of Oracle now they have bought Progress
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Si it looks as though Rory and Swipey are going to get it together finally
What other B3tans do you think would make a good couple? Frogface needs a shag, his nuts must be like Buster Gonads. There don't seem to be many splitarses here tbh.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Perhaps you could go gay for him?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:23, Reply)

i reckon he's getting it from somewhere
he's much happier, hasn't mentioned getting dumped once, and makes oblique references to milkshakes and pizzas and actually leaving folkstone. my spidey senses sniff FROGCLUNGE.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Plus his RARGH attitude to everyone has calmed somewhat
My spidey senses tell me this is due to empty balls
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:45, Reply)

WHAT ATTITUDE?????????

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:54, Reply)

i agree
someone is draining them regularly for him.

hopefully he has found a bit more class than round the back of a takeaway pizza joint, though.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

THAT WAS A DECADE AGO.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:59, Reply)

when did that ever excuse anyone from anything around here?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I dunno why you're so bothered by my 'conquests'

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:01, Reply)

definitely singular, darling

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:05, Reply)

iv ad loadza birds bruv

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:06, Reply)

your YOC membership doesn't count

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:08, Reply)

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY MEMBERSHIP TO THE YOUNG ORNITHOLOGISTS CLUB?????

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:09, Reply)

you seem the anorak type

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

You were one too you dickhead.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Nah, I'm good.
I think Battered and Dozer would enjoy a good 'hate fuck', before arguing about which one is right about everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything that exists — past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions.
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:25, Reply)

battered would have to take it
those hamsters have clawed dozer's barking spider into a rabbit hole
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:26, Reply)

As he's considerably smaller than Dozer, he would have to kneel on a chair.
Mindbleach time.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

i thought they were equally vertically challenged?
we're all the same lying down anyway
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Dunno like
East West breast and all that
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

er, whut??

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Lie on your back
Tits disappear into armpits = east west breast
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:43, Reply)

urgh!

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:54, Reply)

That could work with Battered's 'mushroom cap minus stalk' penis.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

poncho

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:31, Reply)

I think it's become fairly obvious which few posters were keeping us all going.
RIP Monty 4 eva in R hartz.

Alt: recruitment drive
(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:40, Reply)

It is the proper regular posters that drive threads
If you logon and see 8 mins since last post, chances are its gonna be a slow day
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:44, Reply)

I suspect crippling social awkwardness doesn't help either.
Not posting because no one is posting.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:45, Reply)

This may well be true
I wonder how many lurkers we actually get on here
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:46, Reply)

I suspect that a few regulars lurk as well, waiting until someone they like posts

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:47, Reply)

That explains the lack of posts

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Fuck
I've broken it, haven't I?
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:52, Reply)

are you on about your cock again?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Well nobody else is

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Including the wife! hahahahahahahah

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

ttj bath boy!

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

It's your fault you cunt.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Everything is my fault

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

What if I post and no-one replies?
You retards are the only friends I've got. I'm not sure I could take that kind of rejection.
(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I want to be a mod b3th.
Qualifications/qualities please? Do I need to submit a SWOT analysis?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

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