So far today I've had a shave, a haircut, 3 coffees and watch Expendables 2

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:16, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I've had a wank, two coffees & a bacon sandwich.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

+ in the cafeteria

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I've had a full English, a train journey and a sleep.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:23, Reply)

WHEN DID YOU HAVE A FULL ENGLISH???

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

WHEN I WAS WAITING FOR THE TRAIN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

^doing it right^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:26, Reply)

There was black pudding too which I ate even though I don't really like it.
POW!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:28, Reply)

curse you!
I could have eaten that for you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

It was a big bit too, soz.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

If I'm in the mood then its lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

It rarely seems to taste of much to me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:37, Reply)

It is really nice in mash

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

you put congealed animal blood... into mashed potato??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:49, Reply)

humph
I fancied a bit of pasta salad for breakfast. fuck it, it's Christmas. so I went into one of the deli bars near my office. she refused, saying that "lunch items weren't ready until 10.30". I pointed out that the shop was totally empty (it's a bloody ghost town around here) and all the items I wanted were ALREADY OUT ON DISPLAY. she insisted she couldn't do it because the meat wasn't ready yet.

so I stormed off and emailed a complaint about her. got a response apologising and saying they had grilled her about it. HAPPY CHRISTMAS, BITCH.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Who the fuck wants pasta salad for brekkie?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Vegetarians mate, nuff said.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:30, Reply)

well, normally nobody
including me. but we didn't have any dinner last night, and I just... fancied it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:30, Reply)

cravings
...run, froggles
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Maybe it's Jesus

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

i thought he just 'touched' her

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

He moves in mysterious ways

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

:((

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

Blobbing^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

me? or rory?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Both, you pair of silly bitches.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:43, Reply)

They've already started cancelling trains down your way.
And there is a landslip on the Hastings line.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Delayed the 10:66 service
It was a right battle getting into work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:28, Reply)

I don't care as I'm at home with the heating turned up to max and the telly on. I'm also wearing shorts.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Don't forget the Haribo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:31, Reply)

They're long gone :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

I just got given a bottle of cognac.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

That's lunch sorted then

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

See just below and to the left.
But perhaps dinner is.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

You down with VSOP?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

It's a Grand Champagne Premier Cru VSOP.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

There's enough of it to get the Chrissie Pud going like the Fire of London.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

That sounds like a waste

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:42, Reply)

supermarket own-brand brandy for cooking

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Indeed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:46, Reply)

If you won't drink it
Don't cook with it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:48, Reply)

The pud is really nice if you give a good go
with the brandy. Then lashings of custard!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

I'm normally too full to eat Christmas pud

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I've got goose and ham
so I don't fancy my chances tbh.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Turkey and not yet decided on pork, beef or MOAR ham

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:54, Reply)

this sounds really really rude
sorry
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:51, Reply)

You've got custard all over your face

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:51, Reply)

bollock custard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:52, Reply)

You've got bollock custard all over.......

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:59, Reply)

I've had a haircut, a ham roll, a wank, a turkey sarnie and gut full of coffees.
Sporters, are you on holiday in Windowsill Bay this week?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:23, Reply)

I am indeed from today
Off to take the kids to the Santa train in the morning then the panto on the afternoon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

o s
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

i thought it was
a shave and a hair cut, two bits
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:23, Reply)

It was
I am now clean shaven with shorter hair
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

POIDH

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Fuck no
I look like a corpse
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

i shall be stalking fb later
although admittedly to see pics of the world's bentest dog
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

I really wouldn't bother

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

he's purdy
I like him
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Oh, the dog is, aye
I've just taken a "selfie" and I look fucked
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:39, Reply)

You never showed me his queer dog!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:39, Reply)

BEHOLD!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:41, Reply)

SEXY!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:42, Reply)

he looks like the king in dogtanian

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:43, Reply)

haha!
He is booked for a haircut next week, the little shite
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Dec 2013, 14:44, Reply)