Useless fact from our local rag.
If you took all the black puddings produced by the Bury Black Pudding Company in one week and laid them end to end on the seats at Old Trafford, the puddings would fill United's Old Trafford stadium two times over.
Fascinating eh? Dunno who calculates this shit. Have you a useless fact to start the day with?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:35, 82 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

To date, Sports Direct have sold OVER 100 baseball caps.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:37, Reply)

ima setup Sportscow Direct

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:41, Reply)

\o/
I'd shop there.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:42, Reply)

I' d shoplift there.
\O\ morning cow, hny.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Thanking you kindly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:48, Reply)

To me?
To you? Morning frogface, happy new year. Have A good night?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Yes I did. I was in THE NORTH. You?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:43, Reply)

Whereabouts? With the missus?
I had a belter, left the juicer at 6 and woke up outside my front door at 2in the afternoon. The security lodge were impressed :)
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:49, Reply)

As far as I can work out it was in generic NORTH.
I could tell because there was a lot of grim muddy fields and people wearing flat caps. And a load of retards. I wanted to die for most of yesterday.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Now you understand how the rest of us feel all the time.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:56, Reply)

No I don't.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:12, Reply)

I watched idiots swimming in the North Sea yesterday
Fucking fools
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:49, Reply)

People do that 'Boxing Day Dip' at home. Stupid bastards.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:54, Reply)

I'd have a dip if I lived by the sea

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:57, Reply)

By which I mean I'd dip my cock in your mum

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:57, Reply)

Feel free, she is a bit rough though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:11, Reply)

Where I used to live, a nearby village have their East and West sides compete in a tug of war over a river.
The losers get hilariously wet and muddy. Great.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Seagulls can fly backwards.
Morning all. I've got the plumber in, and by that I mean there's a man with a big tool sorting out my boiler, and by that I mean get fucked.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Hny.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:45, Reply)

HNY.
It's a new, 364-page (now) book for you to write - make sure it's a good one!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:48, Reply)

deep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Innit doe.
GM, HNY, Mdme Le Sportscow.

Did you have a good winterval?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

I did indeed sir
Ate like a king, drank like a lord
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:54, Reply)

+gay

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:55, Reply)

Textbook.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:56, Reply)

Alright Batts
Did you build up enough fat around your liver over Christmas to cause cirrhosis sometime in 2014?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:00, Reply)

I did, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Surprisingly not.
Drank very little on the 25th as I had my daughter with me.

Got completely & utterly drunk on Boxing Day, then had a few days off the booze to recover.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:20, Reply)

I think I've drunk every day in December and also yesterday

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:23, Reply)

I didn't drink between Xmas and New Years Eve. That's the longest I haven't drunk all year.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

I feel your pain

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Yesterday morning I really wished I had continued not drinking :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:26, Reply)

I only had a couple of glasses of wine on New Year's Eve. Felt 'as fresh as a daisy' yesterday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:27, Reply)

I didn't think I drank that much, but given I don't remember vast swathes of the evening I must have.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:29, Reply)

I had a bottle of chataeuneuf-du-pape, three bottles of beer and three gins

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:30, Reply)

I had a bottle of Montepulciano, most of a bottle of shiraz, a couple of beers and some whisky
Felt quite awful NYD.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:51, Reply)

I broke my own rule on the 26th & drank spirits. Lots and lots of spirits.
Shots of Patron mainly.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Tanquerry FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Whoever invented coffee flavoured tequila is a genius.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Ooooooooooo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Tastes ok on the way back up as well
www.patrontequila.com/bottle/Patron+XO+Cafe
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:31, Reply)

oof

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Together with the mate I was with, we consumed:
A whole bottle of Patron.
About 12 pints of lager each. I also had 3 pints of cider.
Several glasses of port.
Some sort of whisky - quantity unknown.

This took place over 9-10 hours, with no food.

My stomach muscles ached for two days from vomiting.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:48, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:51, Reply)

I didn't have a drink on the 27th

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

*applauds*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:58, Reply)

The Mona Lisa doesn't have any eyebrows.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:43, Reply)

The Mona Lisa Simon Weston
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Hny battered.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:46, Reply)

Only 357 days until Christmas!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:50, Reply)

...and cunts have ALREADY got their trees up!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

Alright Eric
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqgAj2bMxCo
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:48, Reply)

Hey hey everybody!
Get fucked, yeah?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:00, Reply)

Coupla errors thear Bear.
First, black puddings are curved so you can't lay them end to end.
Rather you would need an extremely tall bucket.
Secondly, Old Trafford is already packed with shit.
Q.E.D.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

This iz the Manchester Evening News mate.
Of course they can be laid end to end, they possess 2 ends, right?
Hny btw.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:16, Reply)

Yer but you could only lay two of them
then both ends would be joined up.
And that's not a very big football stadium now is it?
HNY to you too.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Unless they were laid like this
(
)
(
)
(
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)

^king of sausage handling^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

lol

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

I'm picturing Go West as the star turn at the West Midlands Sausage Awards here, rejigging their 'hit'

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:27, Reply)

I'll get over you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Sounds like wishful thinking.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Fuck off Batty, those aren't black puddings.
Obs never been north.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

I have encountered the misery & despair of the north on occasion. You well know that that puddings are made in all shapes & sizes.
www.google.com/search?q=black+pudding&espv=210&es_sm=122&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=ozDFUsaMK8urhQf0jICICA&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1600&bih=784
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Good God, how can you savages eat that filth?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:29, Reply)

It takes dedication I'll admit.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:32, Reply)

I haven't had a wank this year

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:12, Reply)

This is wrong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:14, Reply)

It's not for want of trying
I tried to race the petrol pump this morning but some bint on the tannoy put me off my stroke
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:21, Reply)

And yet you remain a massive wanker. Curious.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:14, Reply)

I've earnt my stripes, pal

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:19, Reply)

No diggity.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:20, Reply)

Nods.
Hny, other bear.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Hny bear

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:18, Reply)

No

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Before the 1950's the bananas we ate had a completely different flavour to the bananas we eat today.

( Peej, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Thats just crazy
Bananas, in fact
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Speak for yourself, I wasn't alive then.

( Kroney, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)

I meant we as a species
As well you know! Monty (RIP4EIRH) will remember.
( Peej, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 10:05, Reply)

I have created a new thread for your perusal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 10:07, Reply)