Good morning to you all.
How are you this morning? Dreading a five day working week for the first time in a while? Knackered from the weekend? Tell me. I'm really* interested.

Alt: Whilst it's highly unlikely you're doing anything remotely interesting this week you might as well mention it if you think you are.

AltAlt: Preferred method for murdering Gokwan?

*May not be interested in the slightest.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:06, 114 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Alright mate
Yes, I am dreading working a whole five days. And whilst I'm not exactly knackered, my brain need some stimulation after watching one of the most boring films I have ever seen at the cinema last night.
Alt: Birthday this week innit. So, no.
Altalt: Horse Collaring.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:11, Reply)

What did you watch?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:19, Reply)

American Hustle. It was incredibly dull.
And I *did* get it, despite suggestions to the contrary.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:21, Reply)

I'd probably watch it at home, wouldn't bother to go to the cinema to see it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:24, Reply)

I would recommend watching it when you can't get to sleep.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:31, Reply)

So what are you expecting old ranga knickers to get you for your birthday?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:31, Reply)

A strap on?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)

A new wank sock and some lube.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:03, Reply)

Are you two still pretending to be internet boyfriend and girlfriend?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Who?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Have you bummed her yet?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Who?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Battered.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Oh, yeah loads.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:10, Reply)

xx

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:10, Reply)

Bless.
You're her bitch.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:06, Reply)

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:20, Reply)

clickin dis

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:21, Reply)

Thanks for voting for reply 2178364!

Close Window
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

I like the cut of his jib.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:32, Reply)

alright B-Dub
I'm handing in my notice this week.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

\o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:22, Reply)

I am also scouring Discogs for a copy of Miles From Home by Peshay

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:25, Reply)

I am scouring the Asian Readers Wives archives for pictures of YM.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)

did you get my text?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Just seen. Not a problem.
It's not THAT important obviously.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:36, Reply)

It's going to be 'gloves off' on the 22nd...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:39, Reply)

This sounds wrong on many levels.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Sacked?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:32, Reply)

I'm hoping his new employer will block his access to B3ta.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:33, Reply)

I'm hoping he kills himself.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Do pimps give out internet able phones then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:35, Reply)

nah new job innit
Just waiting for references to come through.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:55, Reply)

What job is it?
I'll write you a reference if you want.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:01, Reply)

Fluffer at a donkey sanctuary.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:01, Reply)

another Compliance role
But with T&C supervision as part of it. More money, more scope, more holidays, better pension.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Own pencil sharpener?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:09, Reply)

He's not allowed sharp objects.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:10, Reply)

even better than that
I'm a house prefect.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:16, Reply)

I alright thanks, got in a bit of bother last night, thumb just slipped honest, it was an accident I swear.
Alt. Interesting? Well its the start of term so it will be busy but thats about as far as it gets

AltAlt. I couldn't murder someone whose name has such an amusing anagram. Sorry.
( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Accidentally slipped in up to the knuckle, several times?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:36, Reply)

Returned from from 2 week holiday on Sat to discover that last act of dearly beloved before leaving was to stick a 4 pint milk carton in door of freezer.
..Which expanded and popped open the door.
Two week old fish, chicken and crayfish is a Christmas spectacular from a maggots perspective.
Plus, the smell, oh God, the smell.
(BeatsWork, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Good morning. Are you new here?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:54, Reply)

New-ish. Wandered in to admit knowledge of favourite Aussie meltdown, then Wandered off again.
(BeatsWork, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:56, Reply)

Ah you're the guy who met ringo eye arr ell, aintcha?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Yep, but let's move on to new and exciting!
(BeatsWork, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Yeah!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Alt. Restocking the freezer with crayfish.
Alt alt. There is no wrong answer possible.
(BeatsWork, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 8:54, Reply)

I'm not telling you anything
Alt: See above.
Altalt: Don't know what that is soz.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Just as well, no one cares.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:07, Reply)

I'm struggling to give a shit myself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Thank god BeatsWork has returned.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:10, Reply)

You don't want to have the shit I've just had. Lamb madras last night...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:10, Reply)

Morning Battered
Not too bad, although I didn't sleep well, so I'm wondering what time I'm going to crash. Got a new guy starting in the office today too, which means that insulting customers has to drop to a minimum again. Bastards.

Alt: Off to a pantomime on Saturday, no fucking clue why I agreed to it.

AltAlt: In an upsetting twist, he's in the fucking pantomime I'm going to see.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Alt: Oh no you're not.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:23, Reply)

If only.
It's for my girlfriend's Mum's birthday, she decided that she wanted to go, and I foolishly agreed to go.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Oh no you didn't

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Behind you!!

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Not likely. Its backs to the wall when I'm on OT with you gaylords!

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:32, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDtcVlNr14s
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Heh heh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

POTD

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

RIP OT!

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT, YOU'RE THE SAVIOUR

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

I was last week, this week I am struggling to come up with any new material!

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

You gave it your best shot.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Judge Doom Pookie may be my peak today
Unless I can think of another modification to the same old picture.
( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Do the mouth for eyes thing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:33, Reply)

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)

That is extremely weird.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:55, Reply)

HA! My favourite

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Stick a ginger minge on the nose.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Oi swipey! Gaz us a picture of your minge so I can shop it on to BP's nose!

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Who is Ot?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Swipey
Orange Tart innit
( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Alreet?
Saturday's curry/beer has finally finished me off for Christmas food/drinking for a few weeks.

Alt:
I don't ever do anything interesting, sorry

AltAlt:
Getting one of his fat biffas to sit on him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:41, Reply)

All good ta. Well, apart from a ringpiece that looks like the Japanese flag.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:43, Reply)

From a madras?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:53, Reply)

Yep. I may have added one or two scotch bonnets to the dish.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Ahh
That'll do it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:56, Reply)

#TRULAD

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)

Morning cow . I'm having a few weeks off the pop too. New year, reformed liver.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:49, Reply)

I'm not drinking in February.
I worry I will find it incredibly easy, and find I don't *want* to drink anymore. I don't want to be gay though.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Why February?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)

28 days

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:53, Reply)

^THIS etc
Plus was a bit late to start January innit
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:56, Reply)

You massive bender

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)

complete waste of time
why do people do this?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 10:26, Reply)

hello children
HAPPY NEW YEAR. I was ok with being back at work until I got to the tube station. an hour of rainsoaked, hot, pushing, clammy, rude passengers, stupid delayed service and being 15 mins late for work on my first day back... WHAT A GREAT START. fucking tube.

alt: nil by mouth and gym, until Christmas excess has been corrected.

altalt: I've met him. he's an utter twat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 10:09, Reply)

altalt. Only because he took one look at you, shook his head and said "I think I'm beaten here guys"

( Peej, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 10:18, Reply)

pffffffffffffffffffft
it was a black tie stonewall do. I was in a ballgown. I got hit on LOADS OF TIMES.

by middle-aged lesbians
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Jan 2014, 10:20, Reply)