My dad is still pretty clued up on this technology thing.
He just got himself a Chromebook and I'm having a conversation on Google hangouts with him.

Talking about pensions and he turns round and says "well at least you have our house to fall back on if the Government screw you for a state one". How morbid. But also, yay!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:20, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

What's a chrome book?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:21, Reply)

Google laptop or summat.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25, Reply)

What's a laptop?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:26, Reply)

Where swipe grinds

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:27, Reply)

Oh, the spare room, got it

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:28, Reply)

what PJs misssus is using to keep him in line these days

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25, Reply)

yeah because you and he both understand how pensions work that's quite clear

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:23, Reply)

He was a Civil Servant, so he does. I don't.
Obviously that wasn't the whole conversation, Doozey
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Dozer's an expert on pensions dontchaknow

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:27, Reply)

I have a pretty good understanding of pensions and investments, it's true.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:29, Reply)

It's actually a very fascinating subject

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:29, Reply)

when I explain to chicks how tax relief works they just turn to putty in my hands.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:30, Reply)

plus, the roofies.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:32, Reply)

Slipping into a coma is ever so slightly different from turning into putty.

( Muns, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:33, Reply)

that's the rohypnol, not the pensions chat

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35, Reply)

I must confess, this whole subthread has given me a lazy lob on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35, Reply)

I just had my first wank being 33 to it, such is it's potency

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36, Reply)

dozer should be able to advise you if you can get relief on that

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37, Reply)

very fascinatingn achingly beautiful
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Dozer is an expert on most things, I find.
Compared to me anyway!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:30, Reply)

Compared to you, everyone's an expert.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Simples!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31, Reply)

The state one is called 'basic' for a reason. It's barely a subsistence income.
If you'd saved a bit of money instead of wasting it on gay porn and poppers you could have a mortgage by now, shame that innit xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:28, Reply)

Yes dear. That was the discussion.
Not the poppers bit, mind.
I said I was going to start saving something from the age of 40.

The world will be a different place by the time I reach pension age.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:31, Reply)

Surely you will have died of gay AIDS long before then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:32, Reply)

That's the plan!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:33, Reply)

what, saving into a private pension from age 40?
You'll need to be putting way at least 30% of your income and even then you'll need to retire as late as you possibly can.

Hopefully tax relief will be a flat 30% rate by then. It's not justifiable to maintain the current marginal rate relief.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:34, Reply)

I need to do something about a pension.

( Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35, Reply)

you're signed up to your work one, right?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Don't think so.
I was never intending to stay here as long as I did.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:38, Reply)

oh dear
It's free money on two counts and you take it with you when you leave.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:39, Reply)

Yeah, well.
I'll be doing it when I move on, I just never got round to getting on this company's.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:41, Reply)

go for a balanced aggressive lifestyle fund
Or just the balanced one if you can't ratchet up the risk rating.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42, Reply)

I'm a money flid. I've always been a money flid and will likely always be a money flid.
I am, however, just about clever enough to try to repair some of the damage my previous fliddery has caused me.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45, Reply)

the general rule of thumb
Is that the percentage of your salary going to your pension should be half your age. So, 17% or so in your case. Tax relief is only payable on your contribution, not the employer one. Assuming you're on less than 41K or so then it's 20% tax relief, so for every £80 you pay in, you get £20 from the government paid in on top.

Growth is tax free, charges should be between 0.75% and 1%.

Alright?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:52, Reply)

That's another plan too...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Ask Dozer about it - he knows everything there is to know about pensions

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36, Reply)

pensions everything
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36, Reply)

apparently

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Is it me, or is it getting hot in here all of a sudden?
Phew!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:35, Reply)

The sexual frustration has been simmering for quite a while now.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:38, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43, Reply)

my firm has a really good pension scheme
but I am shamefully bad at what I put into it. I kind of assume there'll be no state pension by our generation, so I am living in my pension...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:36, Reply)

why are people so obsessed with the state pension? It's 144 quid a week, it's a pittance.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:37, Reply)

I save 20% of me wages but that's purely for timberlands

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:39, Reply)

I hope you'll all join the marching in the streets if any future government did try to abolish the state pension

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:38, Reply)

If they did, I would hope for tax and N.I relief!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:40, Reply)

I don't think you understand what tax relief means

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Is it when you get a fiver back for each time you wank off a tramp?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43, Reply)

pretty much that, yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:44, Reply)

*makes notes*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Well DUR!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43, Reply)

That's how I'd describe you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48, Reply)

I am rather likeable though, so it's all good.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50, Reply)

why would i?
I was sensible enough to be born to parents who did the hard work for me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Good pre planning there

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:42, Reply)

it was all me, and i deserve ALL the credit for that hard work and foresight, aye

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Darn tooting sweets

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48, Reply)

^
When the rest of my family finally die I will be quids in, no point in saving and living frugally when you don't need to innit swipey
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:43, Reply)

hmmmmmmmm
how many quids in? can I give up work now?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:45, Reply)

I will tell you later ;)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Won't you have to share it with all your half-brothers and sisters?
Same question to swipe.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48, Reply)

One sister. Them half breeds can get fucked.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:49, Reply)

But they are the family that your dad chose

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50, Reply)

Yeah, I'm not including his stuff in the frog dead family bonanza

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:51, Reply)

yes
I made sure I chose parents who had children they could afford.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:50, Reply)

Like she WALKS anywhere....

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 15:15, Reply)