It is difficult to buy not green bananas. What else is difficult to get?
Alt: What colour combination socks am I wearing? There are four different ones.
Altalt: Mid week innit, how's your week going so far? Mine is mediocre at best.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:01, 132 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I had asparagus scrambled eggs for brekkers and now my wee smells funny :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:03, Reply)

Wrong time of year for asparagus.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:06, Reply)

I bought it in Tesco, they grow it all year round!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Every little helps!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Dear FM D-S ret
That isn't due to the asparagus I would suggest that it is bowel cancer. Please see 2nd Best Troll for a full bum hole fingering.
HTH's
With fondest regards
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:10, Reply)

nah m8, me bowels are tip top
Deffers just asparagus causing stinky piss.

Check yo bad self me nigga.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Poor dozer
he ignored the warning signs and now has a rotten bumhole and a leaky prostrate... all he needed was a doctors finger and it could have all been caught
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)

It's mrs dozer I feel sorry for

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)

poor 'mrs dozer' LOL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)

How do figments survive the death of their imaginer

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:23, Reply)

YOU SMELL FUNNY

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:19, Reply)

FRUIT WOES

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:05, Reply)

SAD TYMES

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Dear Frog
As I know you struggle with the concept of things ripening, the point of green bananas is that you buy them a few days ahead of when you want to eat them. So if you eat a lot then you will always have ones ripening and others ready.
HTH's

I only wear blue socks.
Friday for me innit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:09, Reply)

Yeah, I just don't really want to keep loads of fucking bananas at work on the off chance i fancy one cos the bastards round here will eat them

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)

A tube train today.
Woah! Topical eh?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:09, Reply)

There's loads of them up here
Must just be a London problem
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Sympathy when holding someone's lover's severed head.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:17, Reply)

The rolling stones lost their way abit after Beggars Banquet

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)

That's 'cos they were all so high! LOL!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Joking aside, I agree with this
Everyone bangs on about Let it Bleed, Sticky Fingers, Exile... etc., but I think they were shit after they kicked Brian out.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:24, Reply)

yeah you really did put the joking aside there you fascinating chap you

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:32, Reply)

I liked them before Brian joined.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:32, Reply)

haha this is funny because he was the founder member!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:39, Reply)

I prefer the Stones to the Beatles, but the Stooges to the Stones

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)

I like all of these bands and have never though about ranking them in order of my favourites

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)

I prefer Oasis to Ocean Colour Scene

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

^ TGGI

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)

Why are you wearing four socks?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:19, Reply)

because im a fucking frog you imbecilic prick

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)

Dear Frog
YOU ARE NOT REALLY A FROG,
I suggest a course of strong meds.
Regards
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)

i am

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:25, Reply)

But frogs don't wear socks, they'd get too wet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)

we do

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:25, Reply)

Do business frogs wear - ahem ...
wetsuits?!

LOL!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:32, Reply)

The exit from the Internet is just to your right.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:33, Reply)

That's a window, and I'm three storeys up!
I mean - what do you want me to do? Kill myself?!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

we are waiting

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)

only the male ones, or 'frogmen' if you prefer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:33, Reply)

Do they woo
diving belles?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)

i dont have a skuba

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)

Well that tanked.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Rubber and a Ranga
Now there's an image I could have managed without
(BeatsWork, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Shut up BeatsWork

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:45, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Hi!
Tedious fact of the day:

Payout rates for life assurance, CIC and Income Protection are all comfortably over 90%, and where payouts are not made, it is usually due to non disclosure or even outright lying by clients!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:34, Reply)

Tell me more, tell me more, like - does she have potential for a rebate on PPI?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)

a rebate?
Do you mean a refund plus interest?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)

whatevs

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:45, Reply)

dunno, ask bent jase, he's a ppi claims team leader

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:49, Reply)

He's your boss, isn't he?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:52, Reply)

yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:55, Reply)

bumped up to team leader now, eh?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)

Uh huh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)

*makes notes*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Chicken from Asdas, apparently
Home delivery last night. Out of stock. Really? No chicken at all in Asda is there? Just like last weeks carrot drought

Alt:
Light grey

AltAlt:
A bit odd, this week. Still, I'm off to the boozer tomorrow night with medium Bri
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

alt: not even 1 out of a possible 4 there, poor form

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

I can't read
They are my socks. Yours obviously have both red and green in them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)

1/4

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)

This is like that Mastermind game
Red Black Yellow Blue
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:41, Reply)

3/4

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Asdas?
Do you mean 'Asda'?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)

no its asda's

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)

no it's 'Trivial Pursuits'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:39, Reply)

no its hmv's pronounced 'Haitch emm vees'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)

lol HMV stands for 'hug my vagina' lol

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)

not in my top ten transformers, soz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:45, Reply)

SPAZDA's, more like

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:57, Reply)

I've seen the people they've got collecting the home delivery orders
I don't trust myself to get the right things when I go out shopping let alone those muppets.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Love Bites starring Adam Ant on DVD
cos it isn't out on DVD yet.

Alt: Whatever colours Wallace and/or Gromit are.

Altalt: Oh, is it Wednesday? Cor!
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:51, Reply)

3/4 ish

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:54, Reply)

where's stibbins when we need him?
Good old stibbsy!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 10:53, Reply)

Okay the answer was black, white, red and blue. Sportscow won for being closest. Well done everyone.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:05, Reply)

\o/
In honour of winning, I've started a new thread
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Good chap!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:06, Reply)

I got Lady Gay Gay tickets today so that's a road trip to Glasgow in October for me and my fellow Geordies.
Some of the pre sale links weren;t working though, so thatwas difficult.

alt. I think you have mustard, green, red and brown socks.

AltAlt. Mediocre also, with a mediocre weekend ahead. Think I might get some shopping delivered to mix it up a bit.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Why is it gay chaps have such shitty taste in music?

( Kroney, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:10, Reply)

I have a very diverse range of shit taste in music thank you very much!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:12, Reply)

and for the record, Lady Gay Gay is brilliant live.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:12, Reply)

No offence, yeah?
Just seems to me that liking willies in yer bum doesn't create a biological imperative to enjoy the music of haggard old slags and wannabe trannies. Get a bit of Rolling Stones up you, man.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:14, Reply)

The Rolling Stones are haggard old slags too!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Fair point, well made.

( Kroney, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:18, Reply)

becos they have shitty cocks innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:13, Reply)

Glasgow's alright, good nightlife, get down The Arches

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:13, Reply)

I don't really listen to the radio...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 11:18, Reply)