So how will you be spending Valentines Day? I'm not going to Nottingham now:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-26066153#story_continues_1
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:00, 120 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Same as any other weekend with the addition of a gift or 2.
Me and the fella always cook for each other and buy silly gifts now and again.

Don't need Hallmark to tell me I'm in love.

"Is that all women are - slags and hags?

"What self-respecting woman is going to go along to a speed dating event that sells itself to men in that way?"

Slags and hags, mainly
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:05, Reply)

You're in love?
Bit gay
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:06, Reply)

With a man. It's possibly about as gay as it gets.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:09, Reply)

Not unless that man is Kroney

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:09, Reply)

Disgusting. Hitler had the right idea about deviants like you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:11, Reply)

Kiss my Goebbels

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:14, Reply)

MODS!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:15, Reply)

Yes?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:26, Reply)

"Verberge der Männlichkeit, und nennen ihn Susan"
?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:04, Reply)

"Lassen Sie das Rohr eine Überraschung sein."

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:06, Reply)

"Aushängen Sie der nette mann Josef, sein Höhepunkt ist es jetzt an mir!"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:13, Reply)

That's quite classy for Nottingham - it's glorification of the other 364 days there

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:21, Reply)

In the pub I hope

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:24, Reply)

In your mum I hope

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:25, Reply)

Having chemotherapy I hope

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:26, Reply)

Nah you'll be ploughing the ginger furrow.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:47, Reply)

Now they're practically engaged he'll have to get her something expensive
Artisan cheese always goes down well.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:54, Reply)

I thought her dad bought her the expensive stuff

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:57, Reply)

Gold plated?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:03, Reply)

She ent getting anything on a bullshit made up commercial day

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:03, Reply)

^not getting laid then^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:04, Reply)

its a friday innit, that's pub night anyway

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:05, Reply)

Guaranteed drunken fumble

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:22, Reply)

He still has problems getting bras off.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:27, Reply)

Hers that is, not his.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:27, Reply)

Swipe's probably require a scaffolding wrench.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:36, Reply)

Shes a hefty girl then?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:45, Reply)

Beeps when she walks backwards. If she falls down the stairs people think Eastenders is starting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:46, Reply)

Pfft.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:47, Reply)

Heh heh.
She'll punch me the next time I see her now I've said that.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:49, Reply)

Haha.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)

That's why she lives in a flat

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:53, Reply)

Has she got 'wide load' tattooed on her arse?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)

She did, but it rubbed off because of all the chafing

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)

I heard she was too mean to pay for all the letters
so got wide l tattooed on one cheek and ad on the other.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:00, Reply)

Her dad paid, but only for half.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:01, Reply)

Lettering that big is expensive to be fair.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:07, Reply)

You really do have a death wish, don't you?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:08, Reply)

Now you've said that, I have recalled she has a 'tache like Charles Bronson's.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:14, Reply)

Clickin dis

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)

That's tomorrow after the work big night out #LADS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:31, Reply)

#Bants

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:38, Reply)

Probably go out somewhere, buy dinner, get wrecked and have a drunken fuck.
Classy.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:51, Reply)

It's only one day a year - you could wear a dinner jacket

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:56, Reply)

I may wear pants and socks too

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:02, Reply)

Stick with the dinner jacket
Nothing says class more than stepping into your local Brewers Fayre in a dinner jacket, wing collared shirt and no trousers.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:07, Reply)

Might get hotel in London for the night.
She's down a fair bit I've not been for a while. Dinner, hotel the usual bollocks.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:16, Reply)

Going by the law of averages the missus'll be up on blocks
therefore she'll be tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and I'll be sat in front of the telly with a DVD. Probably.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:31, Reply)

True romance!
That's not a suggestion of what film to watch btw...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)

I've never seen it.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:39, Reply)

Thats my favourite Tarantino.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:39, Reply)

People rave about Reservoir Dogs, but I was distinctly non-plussed when I saw it.
Pulp Fiction on the other hand is fucking brilliant.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:41, Reply)

^^ This ^^
Terrific soundtrack too.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)

If Love is a Red Dress is an astounding track.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:43, Reply)

Yep. As is Son Of A Preacherman

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:46, Reply)

Indeed.
Must replace my copy of the soundtrack; I lost custody of it in the divorce.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)

Pah. Far from his best effort.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)

I've yet to watch Inglorious Basterds, despite having it on DVD for about 2 years.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)

it's alright actually, Chistoph Waltz is really good in it

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:54, Reply)

Never been in the fettle to watch it.
I will eventually.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)

Brad Pitt's pretty funny in it, as is Fassbender

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)

OK OK I'LL WATCH THE FUCKING FILM!
God, stop going on about it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:58, Reply)

it was only written by him, it was directed by Tony Scott.
Not a proper Tarantino, just like Natural Born Killers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:52, Reply)

I don't get Tarantino with his absolutly teddiously long speech scenes.
I don't want to look at some slag I don't give a fuck about in a box trying to punch her way out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:08, Reply)

It's a random day and nonsense
Why do you have to be loving/affectionate/sincere/vaguely interested on that day more than any other?

Y'right DG?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:36, Reply)

You don't have to be, but woe betide any bloke that ignores the 14th completely.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:37, Reply)

Rather depends upon your choice
It's always been a piss-take day for former partners - we've gone out deliberately to watch couples not talking to each other but going through the motions for form's sake.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:40, Reply)

My wife and I went out for dinner one year on Valentines, saw a bloke at another table go down on one knee, the woman said no.
He ran out of the restaurant in tears. She then picked up the bottle of wine on their table & fucked off without paying.

Sort of funny & sad to see really.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:48, Reply)

I am reasonably sure that I would just find that funny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:49, Reply)

I felt sorry for the bloke.
But serves him right for proposing in public.

I carved my proposal in the snow in the back garden. That way if she said no I could hose the evidence away.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)

Steve Harmison was in the bar when I proposed to the missus.
He's very tall.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:52, Reply)

Bloke that used to work for me proposed to his girlfriend in a branch of KFC. In Slough.
She said yes.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)

Classy.
We were on a night out for a mate's birthday and it was completely spontaneous.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)

Shame he wasn't joking.
That would have been a right ZINGER!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)

Haha!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:59, Reply)

Haha! You old smoothie.
If you're gonna go public you'd best be fucking sure she's gonna say yes.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:52, Reply)

I got a lot of kudos for the way in which I asked her.
Rather more than I got for being a husband.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:54, Reply)

If I didn't know you were a right horrible cunt I'd think you had a bit of a soft side.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)

I am a truly bitter and nasty cunt.
Trufax.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)

I both agree and sympathise

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:58, Reply)

How would you have done it this winter?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:59, Reply)

With hindsight, if it wasn't for my daughter, I wouldn't have at all.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:05, Reply)

You can't do that - you can't get in your head that micro is a result of a mistake.
You have to bring her up in an environment of stability.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:11, Reply)

Micro is certainly not a mistake and the best thing to ever happen to me. Things are stable for her; her emotional development is critical.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:13, Reply)

Perhaps the relationship was a mistake
I'm not about to question for a moment your love for her - Sorry if you read it that way
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:19, Reply)

Ex and me have a code - 1-4 -2
We'll always just nod that toward anyone going through the motions of a "relationship."
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:53, Reply)

Not bad TD, you?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:38, Reply)

Life is good
Seems a bit glib and trite but - no complaints.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)

Glib and trite can be good.
I'm still on the lookout for job security, but at least I'm working at the moment even if the job itself isn't very taxing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:45, Reply)

Probably the two words that'd be on my headstone - TD - GLIB AND TRITE
Thought you'd got something good workwise?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:47, Reply)

Ah, that went tits up.
Fortunately I got an email from an old colleague at the same time asking if I was free for some casual work. Halfway through an 8 week contract; probably going to be asked to stay on for a bit and possibility of being able to apply for a couple of vacant positions in the team once the organisation goes through its at risk / internal advert / external recruitment. One of the jobs is the one I'm doing; the other's in project appraisals which is more my bag and better paid.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)

I should be here more to keep up with this
But it's getting like a bus station waiting room again.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)

I'm not here very often tbh.
And I shall have to disappear for a bit to sort dinner out.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:58, Reply)

I know
Getting a bit negative again isn't it?

HELLO TOURETTES!
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:02, Reply)

Wicked, perfect excuse to avoid all the bullshit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:36, Reply)

Swingers party round at Nakers' new gaff
Should be a giggle, Fabian and Tiggy are bringing some top notch cocaine and loads of poppers.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:40, Reply)

BBC1 now.
My god. How northern.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:02, Reply)

These stores are posh compared to B&M bargains, Store 21 and other chains.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:05, Reply)

Stibbins lol

(Lou Carpenter, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:35, Reply)

lol
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:38, Reply)

+stay about from
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:44, Reply)

YES.
Alright son?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:50, Reply)

Gr8 thnx how r yu lol

(Lou Carpenter, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:52, Reply)

Yes. Currently listening to the radio.
Might have a glass of wine in a bit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:53, Reply)

Haha ...........The Old Angel is quite a good pub
In the lace market area of the city centre, they have quite a lot of live bands and a good selection of ales

Evening short round, you should deffo get your arse to Nottingham, I'll give you the guided tour of best places to eat and drink in.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:52, Reply)

Evening.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:53, Reply)

Eves Jeffers, you recovered from The Bristol Vs Coventry game yet?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:55, Reply)

I don't think I've completely dried out yet, it was pissing down.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:59, Reply)

That happened to me a few weeks ago
I swear down at one point it even seemed to be raining upwards
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:01, Reply)

If I was ever to do that I would expect you to keep me away from all the places you conducted your seedy affair.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:55, Reply)

But of course as if you would enjoy the alley behind the Kebab shop anyway

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:56, Reply)

Alright.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:09, Reply)

Alright Only A GP?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:10, Reply)

Sound as a pound Ta, you?
By the way I started a new thread
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 21:10, Reply)