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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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BUMHOLES

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:20, 132 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
edgy

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:22, Reply)
Short nails, latex gloves and some bumlube mate.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:26, Reply)
and take your watch off.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
hey doc I have a scab on my face that I don't want to scar. can I pick it off?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:29, Reply)
How deep set is it?
And how did you get it?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:31, Reply)
Stop stalling and give him an answer.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:33, Reply)
Unless it's very deep,
Hich I doubt, pick away.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)
I pick all scabs,
And eat them. That's how I stay so youthful.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:37, Reply)
^hero^

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:40, Reply)
I might sell the idea to oil of ulay,
Then they can pay poor people to inflict nasty injuries on themselves and then heal.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)
Isn't the real secret to your youthful looks being about ten years younger than the rest of us?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)
Yeah. That as well.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:04, Reply)
He's googling an answer.
I bet he says cancer.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)
Hay, that rhymed!

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)
Only if you are a fucking northerner

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:44, Reply)
Ha, he thinks he's people.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:44, Reply)
Gay and northern....
...could it get any worse?!?!?!
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:46, Reply)
its not that bad and it looks ready to come off but should I let it fall of naturally?
There was an 'incident'.....
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)
Did she fuck your face with her lady penis?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:36, Reply)
Did Rachel swipe you again?
Just pick it you girl.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:37, Reply)
okay I picked it and its bleeding thanks doc!

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:39, Reply)
Send me the scab.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:40, Reply)
its the shape of a lightning bolt

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:41, Reply)
More lies.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:43, Reply)
It's true, I told swipe I looked like Harry potter now

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:44, Reply)
Did that make her happy?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Not really given it's on my upper lip.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Did she fuck your face with her lady penis?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:54, Reply)
No. I mean yes, but that didn't cause it.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)
Never seen a face picked off.
Better ask a doctor.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:34, Reply)
mr horrible does it better

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
I thought that we needed a non-bullying thread that Jason could really get behind, SBT could put his finger on and you can get your teeth into.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:31, Reply)
Making you feel alright.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:33, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:33, Reply)
alright?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:34, Reply)
Yes, ta for axing

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)
You stupid cunt.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:32, Reply)
hello windypoos

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:33, Reply)
Alright doz.
How's York?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:36, Reply)
cold. expensive. culturally somewhere in the mid nineties
Great pubs though.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:47, Reply)
That's pretty forward for Yorkshire.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)
You stupid cunt

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)
Do you mind?
This is a family forum.
I might've wanted to enjoy a nice thread with my children here.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)
You don't have any children, you pathetic hoaxer

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)
That's not the point
Other people with children and/or not made up spouses may wish to enjoy off topic without all this b*mh*le talk.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:00, Reply)
You and your kids are cunts.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)
Oh God you are so right.
The kids especially are well cunt.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Actually, I'm sorry, you're alright. It's just those damn cunt kids.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:05, Reply)
and their thick mother

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:06, Reply)
She doesn't know any better though

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:06, Reply)
Bless her, she hasn't got a bastard clue

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:17, Reply)
fucking cunt kids

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:01, Reply)
When is your second one dropping?
That's assuming it is yours
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:19, Reply)
end of march
expect strange rambling posts at 3am for several weeks/months
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:36, Reply)
The second one is a doddle
Unless your first one was a doddle, in which case you're in for a massive shock
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:39, Reply)
first one was 4 1/2 pounds of nonsense that needed feeding every fucking hour
so fingers crossed this one is bigger and better
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:43, Reply)
Some poor genes there

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:44, Reply)

What do you want this one to be; girl, boy or hermaphrodite?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:46, Reply)
He needs a boy this time, otherwise he'll have to go again

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:47, Reply)
Enough about your internet browsing history thanks.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:00, Reply)
Shit off Gay boy.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:06, Reply)
^ upset

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:07, Reply)


/\ /\
_
_ _ _ ______ ___ | |_
| | | | ' \ ___|/ o \| __|
| |_| | D ___ | _/| |__
\__,_| ._/____|\___/|____|
|_|

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:09, Reply)
it appears to be especially spastic in here this evening

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:12, Reply)
^ TBSGI

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:13, Reply)
In the kingdom of the spastics the bent one is king bent spastic
Or summat
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:16, Reply)
King bent spastic in crimson trousers, no less.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:20, Reply)
Posh git.
Around here we say arseholes.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:12, Reply)
alright arsehole?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:15, Reply)
Alright anusol?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:19, Reply)
He's not posh. He's from Aberdeen.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:16, Reply)
This is fucking shit and Dozer is a fucking cunt. I'm off.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:16, Reply)
^

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:17, Reply)
Whoa, deletion.
MODS!
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:26, Reply)
What did I miss?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:27, Reply)

Something about an ex colleague with huge tits who's husband died from a massive brain tumour shortly after being done for diddling an old lady on his rounds as an electrician.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:29, Reply)
Might have been a plumber; the details are a bit hazy now.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:29, Reply)
Tell me more about the tits

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:30, Reply)
they were huge and oily

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:30, Reply)
Cor!

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:31, Reply)
Wait, do you mean they secreted their own oil?
Or had they had some other oil applied to them in a sexy way?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:33, Reply)
Brent crude, liberally applied.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:34, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2211513
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:36, Reply)
Like a pair of zeppelins trying to escape from a tarpaulin
that was only tethered to the ground by a single, straining button.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:31, Reply)
oh the humanity!

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:32, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2211507
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:34, Reply)
it was too sad a story to bear :'(

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:29, Reply)
also, whose

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:30, Reply)
I also worked with the guy's nephew for a couple of years.
As far as I know he hasn't been in the dock for diddling with senile old women.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:30, Reply)
eew

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:31, Reply)
I think that, just possibly, his actions were driven by the massive cancerous growth in his head
rather than any great desire to diddle with senile old wimmin. At least that what my ex colleague told me. She reckoned she'D exposed herself to him and his his tumorous state he thought "Why not?"
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:34, Reply)
sounds plausible

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:35, Reply)
I'd believe anything she said, frankly.
Because of the tits.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:37, Reply)
I like breasts

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:38, Reply)
So does gok Wan, which I've always found a bit odd.
It's like he's living a lie or summat.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:41, Reply)
How do you mean?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:48, Reply)
HE'S A PUFF!

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:55, Reply)
The Shamens less successful...

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:56, Reply)
Or, the Macc Lads' celebrated album track....
The missus sends smooshes, btw. Verily, she has swooped in to do so. You lucky bastard.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:59, Reply)
Send her my love xx

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:01, Reply)
Will do.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:02, Reply)
Gok Wan? A bender?
Yeah right.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:00, Reply)
It's hard to believe I know but...

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:01, Reply)
no way is Gok Wan a gayer

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:12, Reply)
Fashion conscious, forrin...

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:16, Reply)
he's too masculine to be a botter

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:17, Reply)
People said that about Rock Hudson.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:18, Reply)
Yeah, draft a strongly worded letter of complaint innit

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:28, Reply)
^ UPSET ^

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:28, Reply)
alright batts
what are you working on?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:45, Reply)
His second bottle of red, probably.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:46, Reply)
If only...

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:47, Reply)
Bit of KP*G, also a bit of a retail acquisition, bit of sticking pins in a voodoo doll of my ex.
How's Winchester? I loved living there - long time ago though.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:47, Reply)
quiet, almost too quiet...
to be fair mrs ape isn't up to much and we've not found a cheap, reliable baby sitter.

I have to say, poor micro, but could have happened to anyone really.
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:51, Reply)
It could have happened, but it was avoidable if my ex had realised the stairs were too steep, too wet & there were too many of them (flight of about 40 steps). I would never have let micro walk up them without her holding on to me.
Think you'll settle down there?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:53, Reply)
Maybe, probably more in the country. In time

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:12, Reply)
In other news, ask Swipe for details of her family place in Cornwall. Looks ideal for a young family. I will be arranging to stay there with micro this year.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:14, Reply)
To be fair, Joseph Fritzl's cellar was given the same description and look how that turned out.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:16, Reply)
A great holiday destination I never had the opportunity to try.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:16, Reply)
Calm down Bartleby...

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 21:18, Reply)
Also, cooking this:
www.marthastewart.com/326825/pan-roasted-chicken-with-spinach-and-sma
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:50, Reply)
sma?
Powdered baby milk?
(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:52, Reply)
i fucking love mash potato mixed with some butter sweated leeks

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:52, Reply)
is she still in jail?

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:52, Reply)
Don't think so, but couldn't care less; the recipe is good regardless.

(, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 20:57, Reply)

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