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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Sofa!
Pizza!

Old Crafty Hen!
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:23, 82 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Office chair
Bottle of Tesco best wine

Still working - but rather excited that we may be able to recreate the Charge of the Light Brigade soon.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:32, Reply)
War in the Crimea eh? That'll end well

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:33, Reply)
There's oil there now - that wasn't a factor in 1854

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:41, Reply)
Wow it developed in just 160 years?

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:49, Reply)
Well oil be damned!!!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)
It was there before, I suppose
But it was regarded as some sort of black evil seeping from the ground.

We can all relate to that sort of area.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:53, Reply)
Kitchen!
Chicken, leak, pasta & cheese sauce cooking!

Lime & soda to drink!
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:34, Reply)
^ gay!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:45, Reply)
Only for you darling xx

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:52, Reply)
Chase me!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:54, Reply)
Actually don't. Pizza's ready and I'd probably be sick.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:55, Reply)
HIYA!!!!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)
Alright scuttish/nurthern phantom girlfriend Brittas prick lord

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:37, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:40, Reply)

^ gay!
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:46, Reply)
Car park!
Vodka!

Suicide note!
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:38, Reply)
Don't do it!
Everyone hates those notes.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:40, Reply)
How are you going to do it
I want to imagine you
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:46, Reply)
^ gay!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)
A fall from thirty storeys

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:56, Reply)
Gammon, chips and baked beanz.
Sofa.
Bath soon, then
Sofa
Merlot/Cabernet sauvignon.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:39, Reply)
+ walk in

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:45, Reply)
bed!
Film!
Sleep!
Work :(
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)
In that order?

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:43, Reply)
no, switch the first two

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:49, Reply)
hopefully followed by an untidy suicide

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:44, Reply)
Can you describe - and hopefully demonstrate - a tidy suicide?
How is the new job?
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:47, Reply)
Vacuum pack yourself in a bag, suffocate, done

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:48, Reply)
put some power toilet cleaner* in a glass, add potassium cyanide, then stick your nose over it and have a nice big huff
job done

* the stuff with the "corrosive" sign on the label
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)
overdose in a wheelie bin the day they are collected

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:52, Reply)
shame your new job hasn't kept you busy enough innit

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)
I've been viciously rejecting complaints and lolling about it, all week

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)
I cant remember the response but I know it ends with you being a wanker

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:53, Reply)
yer, it starts with that an' all

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:11, Reply)
Pizza! Wine! Jaws 2 at 9 pm!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:45, Reply)
All the jaws movies are shit apart from 3

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:47, Reply)
Oh, come on.
The original is great and far better than the book, 2 is OK, 3 is reasonable only due to the fact that it has a good shot of Simon MaCorkindale getting munched FROM INSIDE THE FUCKING SHARK and 4 is shit apart from Michael caine.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Oh, sorry I meant 4. That's the good one

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:51, Reply)
I saw that at the cinema, the same week I saw Superman 4.
I made a mental note to never pay and see a film with '4*' in the title after that.

*technically Jaws 4 was Jaws: the Revenge but who gives a fuck?
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:54, Reply)
Serious though jaws is fucking boring and the shark looks like shit

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:58, Reply)
Are you saying it's not a real shark?
A real shark trained to gently nibble on people?
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:01, Reply)
I'm saying the film is fucking boring

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:04, Reply)
I've probably seen it, and it doesn't register
Shark - boat...shite. Agreed.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:08, Reply)
NO YOUN ARE!

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:20, Reply)
Swivel Chair!
Facebook games!
Recently delivered whisky!
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 19:58, Reply)
glenfarclas 10?

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Dalwhinnie 15, Bunanhanhabhabhain 12 and Auchentoshan 3 wood

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:37, Reply)
3 wood is really fucking good

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:49, Reply)
Going to the pub to see my old dad.
He's dying a bit, but very cheerful about it.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:04, Reply)
Nice of you to keep in touch after getting a new one.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:08, Reply)
Well, Ina really shit way, lady pigs dad is an utter cunt and healthy and gonna live forever,
And my dad, who has been supportive and helpful and awesome to us, is probably not gonna see more than another few years.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:10, Reply)
That's a shame. My dad is a prick.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:19, Reply)
I reckon we should make your dad and lady pigs dad fight to the death.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:22, Reply)
Well okay but you arrange it. Haven't talked to him for years so might be a bit awkward.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:31, Reply)
Sure thing.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:33, Reply)
I hope he survives long enough to buy you a pint

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:09, Reply)
It's my turn to buy the beers tonight.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:10, Reply)
What sort of death is he doing?
There's no end of options in our modern world.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:11, Reply)
Some sort of blood clot lung thing.

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:12, Reply)
Something beyond resolving, I take it?

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:14, Reply)
They can slow it down, but yeah, it's a death sentence.
He just says that there is every chance he'd get killed by something else before it gets him so is not bothered
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:15, Reply)
Make the most of what you have

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:22, Reply)
THATS WHY IM TAKING HIM TO THE PUB YOU JUDGEMENTAL PRICK!
nah, you're alright really.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:34, Reply)
Wish I'd taken my ol' man to the pub a bit more
Sentimental prick
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 20:51, Reply)
Washing up!
The radio!
Guinness!
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:05, Reply)
tea
humous salad
and wishing I was at 6music festival
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:09, Reply)
It sounds dull
I switched over to radio 3
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:13, Reply)
i like The Verb, but I always forget to listen to it

(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:14, Reply)
A Time to Kill is on More 4.
Crap book, not a bad film.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 21:19, Reply)

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