Lost for words
Moments in life where literally you could not speak

Alt:
ima call lunch
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:33, 125 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When I saw her face.
Banana. Possibly a wrap of some sort.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Are you now a believer?

( Kroney, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)

There's not a trace of doubt in my mind - I'm in love.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:43, Reply)

anal probing

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:44, Reply)

oh, go on then

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

When I got knocked out by a bouncy castle.
When I almost drowned in a salmon trap.
When I got a rock smashed off my face.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:43, Reply)

And yet you still didn't get the hint?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:45, Reply)

One I start something I see it through til the end!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)

youtu.be/3kLafYgKCTU
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)

Alt: It's almost an hour until lunchtime, you insensitive bastard.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:47, Reply)

^ forrin

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I thought you lot had dinner at lunchtime and tea at dinnertime.
And a piss at Potty Time! lol.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)

STOP!
_{Hammer time}
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Just a mug of Bovril, usually

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)

In the south, we put Bovril on toast.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:54, Reply)

on toast in the bin
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:55, Reply)

And this.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:56, Reply)

Mines not til 15.25
:(
Imma have a cup a soup to tide me over.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)

tggi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)

I was a friends birthing partner once.
Which was weird, and scary, and wonderful all at the same time.

Still hate kids though.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)

You look a bit like a foetus.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Stubbly foetus

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)

I am going to be in the corridor during any future birth.
I fail to see how the explosion of blood and faeces is going to be any better when bobbing about in a swimming pool, frankly.*

*I somehow got the impression it was one of them water births. I don't know where I got that from, at all.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:02, Reply)

:( That little net scoop they have :(

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)

when i saw some cunt dunking a roll in his soup

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:05, Reply)

It was Oasis soup.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:06, Reply)

You mean it was dull, predictable and inexplicably popular?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:10, Reply)

IT HAD A ROLL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:11, Reply)

I don't get it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)

There was a band called Oasis who used to be bakers.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)

These guys?
youtu.be/22iu_TQ6Vo0
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)

as opposed to selling fewer than 50 copies and sneering at the millionaire gallagher brothers from a midlands yurt?
the problem is, people LIKE dull and predictable. they buy it. blame people. not the band.

people suck.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)

I'll blame who I like, Jessie J

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:18, Reply)

She's awful.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)

Ah swipe's alright really

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)

that Jessie J can fuck off too.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

when weatherall dropped that Fuck Buttons remix as the final tune of the ALFOS set

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:09, Reply)

Ever heard of this bloke?
www.discogs.com/artist/145515-Derek-DeLarge
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)

yes.
Derek Dahlarge. Briefly famous in the Big Beat days, notorious caner.

Why do you ask?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:22, Reply)

He's one of my neighbours - sometimes have a beer with him.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:24, Reply)

what does he do these days?
I remember him being affiliated to Skint records.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:26, Reply)

and, 'notorious caner', not 'notorious cancer'
Autocorrect lols
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:27, Reply)

He's had a mental life.
After he left Manumission (he had residency there) he went on a massive drugs bender, went missing for three weeks before being found on a beach with a dildo glued to his forehead. (This story is in Howard Mark's book Mr Nice). He then did a lot of touring in Japan & Brazil, before several long stints in rehab.

He's talking about starting to perform again, I doubt he will - he works for his dad, who I think is a scrap dealer.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

Dirty old maaaaaayn

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

yeah i remember the dildo story
Weatherall went through a similar mental period in the early 90s. Got himself sorted out though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

My nuts are all caught up in my pants and stuck to my leg.
Please assist.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:11, Reply)

This is what happens when you don't bathe regularly, Frenchy

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Nutstick is an awful afflication

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)

lets have a nutt-off!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:15, Reply)

sounds a bit gay...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:19, Reply)

i am speaking at a seminar this lunchtime on the changes to the ancient law of distress that come in on 6 april
so, crap sandwiches.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:15, Reply)

They sound as disgusting as the shit sweets sportscrow was on about earlier

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)

you'd love the changes in the law
soooooooooo left wing and handwringy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:19, Reply)

As long as they upset the right-wingers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:20, Reply)

like your pension funds, that sort of thing...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

I chose the option for my pension funds to be invested ethically

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

haha!
Welcome to the world of poor investment returns!

Also, light green or dark green screening criteria?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

I'm not engaging you in pension chat

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

shame, I love a good chat about the unfairness of tax relief.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)

I put mine into child labour
My pension too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

and im in THIS DRESS!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

Alt: steak & ale pie.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)

'Slide Away' by Oasis is genuinely alright.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

alright.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:29, Reply)

shit off

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Oasis albums get progressively worse
They should have stopped after the 1st one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

even that one's pretty patchy
LASAGNE!!!!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

It is

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:34, Reply)

"fans" were all excited for their announcement the other day hoping for a reunion.
It was all for a reissue of Definitely Maybe. They were going apeshit online. It was well lol.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:35, Reply)

they'd make a fortune if they reformed the original lineup and toured Definitely Maybe
The Slint reissues are far more enticing anyway.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

They need another 10 years yet
Like the Stone Roses
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

I quite like the stone roses
I even 'Don't mind' Second Coming.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

2 good songs on that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Love Spreads and Ten Storey Love Song?
Love Spreads is in their top three songs, fo sho me knotty headed nigga.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

Yep thats them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Mani joining Primal Scream was an inspired move an' all.
The Primals did their best work with him.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Never liked Primal Scream

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:54, Reply)

then ur doin it rong

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)

They lost it when they started trying to pretend they weren't a twee indiepop band

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)

wut?
Their best era is Vanishing Point through to Evil Heat.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)

Nah, Velocity Girl through to Ivy Ivy Ivy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)

nah, Kowalski through to Skull X

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 13:00, Reply)

Driving South is a fucking awesome way to open a song.
Shame about the indulgent crap they preceded it with.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

That's not a Driving South
THIS is a Driving South
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)

I quite liked
Begging you and breaking heaven as well
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 13:04, Reply)

yer but what's your favourite Primal Scream era?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 13:06, Reply)

It genuinely isn't.
Opinions aren't valid on this subject, only cold hard fact.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

it has a good chorus

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

The only Oasis song I've ever liked is Shakermaker
more music-likes later, hat-fans!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

I like the fact that it cost them half a million

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

fucking hell
that must have been some catering budget
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

Pies Away

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

They were no Cast.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)

Cast were no Menswear

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Fucking cunt we do, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

Menswear were no Gay Dad.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

yer, we did this last week eh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

Did you?
I wasn't here for it. Did I win?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

you never win xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

oh god, Cast were fucking atrocious

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Yer.
If by "atrocious" you mean "AMAZINGLY GOOD!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

no, I mean egregiously bad.
Terrible.

Talentless.

Dreadful.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

^ has a Cast tattoo.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

^ is Jon Power's Civil Partner ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

^ says 'alright' in tribute to JP.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I guess I'm 'alright'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)

Prosecution rests.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)

i'll just 'walk away'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)

When I worked for Lockheed
there was a girl there who looked like a non-threatening Angelina Jolie. First time i met her I was stunned into a stammering, sweaty mess. It was ridiculous.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

I was once interviewed by a woman who looked just like Deauxma
I didn't know where to look :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

woah
I used to work with someone that was a 'glamour model' in her spare time. I still have a magazine that she was in. I never fancied her, but y'know....nude is nude.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

We do loads of phone support for our customers round the UK
Over time you get to know people on the phone so make up what they look like. Imagine my shock when presented with a Halle Berry lookalike on visiting one of our clients in Farringdon, instead of the hothwampa I'd expected to meet

Absolutely stunning
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

fit on the phone, add two stone

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

It was more remove 10 stone

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

It's great when that happens
Sadly, the opposite happens much more often
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

She was from Mauritius
*rubs thighs*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)

PEAROAST!!!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1557142
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

did she ever see a dodo?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)

Yer
Ken Dodd's dogs dodo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

I thought Dodd's dog's dodo was dead?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Did 'e tell you that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:53, Reply)

No, his Dad described it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)

naked ape touches kids on the cunt
GeordieJay fingers kids.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)

Next thread time please

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 13:11, Reply)