I'll see if I cant actually start a thread where people might post
RAGE

I literally had to shake my head today when I passed a lollipop lady AT A SET OF TRAFFIC LIGHTS. FFS, if 11-16yr old kids cannot use a crossing by then, they deserve to get run over. What gets right on your tits?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 8:55, 85 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

my cab went past the Lindt gold bunny car this morning
a fucking gold smart car with massive rabbit ears on top. driven by a bloke who looked like he'd eaten far too many Lindt gold bunnies to fit in a fucking gold smart car with massive rabbit ears on top.

he was definitely pissed off about having to drive a fucking gold smart car with massive rabbit ears on top. his face was a picture.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 8:58, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:01, Reply)

Just a minute, did this bloke have
massive ears on top or was it just the car?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:02, Reply)

Don't be daft, cars don't have ears, they have wheels and stuff.

( Peej, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)

And eyelashes

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Fuck you, frog.
You're not even supposed to be here today
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Yeah I'm only hear to annoy you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)

I here you bro
Edit: Ninjace prickerson
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)

Changed it back 4u hun x

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Thx bbz x

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Top F5ing skillz m8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:15, Reply)

And eyelashes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)

IM IN UR THRED STEELING UR JOKES

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:11, Reply)

Wait! A fat guy with big ears was fucking a gold smart car?
Or was he fucking the bunnies?
( Peej, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)

You'd think so wouldn't you?
But a LLP lady was killed seeing kids across the road in Cleethorpes on just such a crossing.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 8:59, Reply)

meh
Cleethorpes though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:01, Reply)

Yer I no
Darwin awardlols
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)

My school was in north Lincs.
A saturday at Cleethorpes leisure centre was what they considered 'a day out'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)

oh dear

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:11, Reply)

Waking up at 'work time' when you have a day off. It's okay, I didn't today though, don't worry.
Also, cars with eyelashes.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:01, Reply)

Why do Beetles come with a flower attachment?
Kids mean I always wake up early, work or not
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:02, Reply)

Because they're girls cars and all girls like flowers. Top tip there.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)

But original Beetles weren't

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Did they also come with a flower?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)

The whole sixties came with a flower.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)

Yer
power
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)

\o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)

See also
those 'powered by fairydust' stickers on cars.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)

I don't think I have seen that, but that's awful.
Also cars which teenagers have monster energy drink stickers on. Why??!?!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Because people are cunts.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:16, Reply)

We are, we are.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:16, Reply)

Because such a sticker on a 1.1 Corsa instantly turns it into Ken Block's rally Citroen, innit.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)

I was right on YM's tits last night. Not only did I spray them liberally with my spunk, I then shat on them & watched her lick the delightful mix off, before she tromboned me in spectatular fashion.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)

I bet she hates babysitting.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)

genuine officelol right in the middle of a serious conversation

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Double shifts.
I won't finish till 11 tonight, and I'm fucking hanging already.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)

f
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)

All manner of annoying things that people do in their cars make me disproportionately furious.
But I find if I list these misdemeanours I sound like a right tedious old cunt.
And that gets right on my tits.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)

+ more of

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Unreasonable ex-wives.
Cyclists.
Chuggers.
Tories.
Gypsies.
People who queue jump in pubs.
The Daily Mail.
Buskers.
Bob Crow.
People with B.O.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:11, Reply)

Tall people who think it's an achievement

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:16, Reply)

It's hard not to when you shortarses are clearly so jealous of what we have achieved

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Perhaps, but only when they carry it well, not like you where you are stretched like a hirsute spaghetti strand looking like you are constantly at the event horizon of a black hole.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:19, Reply)

I carry it awkwardly with an ashamed stoop

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:22, Reply)

YouTube has also demonstrated your unique 'awkward sitting down' pose.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)

STOP STALKING ME

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Bookmarked for when I feed sad and need a laugh.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Excellent imagery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

people who use the word 'mate' as punctuation

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:20, Reply)

I use "man" far too much
I also expect major strikethrough/lols for this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)

i think it does the job itself, myself

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

I wonder if there is a single person who is a tory unreasonable ex-wife, who works as a chugger & also as a busker, with B.O, a romany heritage & who cycles to the pub to queue jump & read the Daily Mail?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:19, Reply)

They would surely be filled with too much self-loathing to not kill themselves

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)

I think match.com has an 'advanced search' option.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:22, Reply)

My Big Fat Gypsy Ex-Wife?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Those stupid passive-aggressive tube adverts advising people to behave correctly
... that are written as stupid poems.

"We really don't mean to chide
But could you move down inside?
It really would be ace
If you didn't invade others' personal space" (or whatever)

Also - other people in general, and particularly stupid ones.

People spitting in the street.

People urinating in the street.

Management-speak.

People in general.

How long have you got, and how much do you charge?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:22, Reply)

People that wear sunglasses and scarves indoors.

( Kroney, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:29, Reply)

oh this
See also:

Fake niggahs
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:38, Reply)

+ wannabe gangsters

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)

I get ya

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)

"Oh my god it was just like SOOOO random I was like totez gonna pop a cap in his ass?!*"
*Actual comment made by a girl on the tube the other day.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)

I fucking hope you killed her on the spot.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)

People wearing sunglasses on the tube angers me far more than it should.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Fat birds in yoga pants/leggings

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)

in yoga pants/leggings
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)

My mate Gill has a pic of some fat bird in leggings where you can clearly see her fannypad
Lovely
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:44, Reply)

No one comes out of that story looking good.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

Ask them when their album's coming out.
It really amuses blind people, certainly.

Or rather - it should amuse them more than it does.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)

hahahaha!
I really like this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)

i had to do this when i had laser eye surgery
it's not all about being too cool for school, you know
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

^ hipster

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

Lily Allen is well annoying, as well.
Was watching that Graham Norton again the other day (yeah, we were, AND WE'LL DO IT AGAIN), and Lily Allen behaved like a right brat - really annoying. To think she has children is worrying.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Morning.
I enjoyed the clutch chat yesterday. I have no rage at all today. I'm actually reasonably fucking happy.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:50, Reply)

^ yurt-dweller

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Stupid people seem to be happier, as a general rule.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Happy as a pig in its own filth.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:57, Reply)

Drivers who don't stop when the lights change, making it necessary for there to be a crossing patrol to keep children safe

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 9:58, Reply)

I'll tell you one thing that really pisses me off....
Over the road from my house is a nursery. The nursery is on a bend in a busy road, so there's mostly double yellow lines and zig zags up and down the street.

However, some pricks insist on parking up on the kerb of the small stretch of road where parking is technically allowable, so that they don't need to walk too far with their little darlings into nursery.

Of course the side effect of parking up on the pavement is that other parents with buggies and prams etc have to walk on the bloody road to get past them.

I see this every fucking day. Lazy fucking cunts. I live in a smallish village, so they probably only drove about 100 yards to get to nursery in the first place.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 5 Mar 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Vegetarians.
Pious cunts.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Cornish twats who get wasted on St Pirans day and post pictures on purile digital arts community boards!
Kernow Bys Vykken!

Coming next, Pix of Jet from Gladiators (technically a Gladiatrix) and Shakira wearing nothing but Thongs with St Pirans flags on them!
( Peej, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 10:00, Reply)

YES!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 10:12, Reply)