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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 Good Morning OT
	Good Morning OTAint life a funny thing...
Living in the country I often see things that I find odd, as an example a herd of geese grazing, I never think of birds as grazing they should eat seeds or insects etc.
Alt: What would you like today to bring you?
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:19, 138 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
 I like the geese in York, true story
	I like the geese in York, true storyAlso, I would like today to bring me Sian Williams in a pair of Westwood heels.
Make it happen, yeah?
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:22, Reply)
 Are you sure you arent a gay man
	Are you sure you arent a gay manYou seem to know too much about shoes and I am pretty sure Sian is a tranny
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:25, Reply)
 Geese love a good graze, fucking noisy cunts.
	Geese love a good graze, fucking noisy cunts. I had one crash land in my garden the other week, might a right mess of the bush and a huge amount of noise and wouldn't fuck off for about 2 hours.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:23, Reply)
 Alt:
	Alt:Kylie Minogue
Several million pounds
An Aston Martin DBS
Dinner at Hawksmoor
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
 They're always wandering upstairs and downstairs and in my lady's chamber
	They're always wandering upstairs and downstairs and in my lady's chamberAlt: I'd like to throw an old man down the stairs by his left leg
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:39, Reply)
 The bloody seagulls are on nesting duties at the moment
	The bloody seagulls are on nesting duties at the momentNoisy honky cunts. Last year they tried to attack my gay dog every time he went in the back garden.
Alt:
I have coffee and porridge so thats a good start. I'd like less work based trauma, a good lunch and steak
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:55, Reply)
 My cat once stalked a crow in the back garden
	My cat once stalked a crow in the back gardencharged towards it, it spread its bloody great wings, cat immediately saunters off at 90 degrees as if attack were the last thing on her mind.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)
 Nice quick working week. Ive got a long weekend ahead.
	Nice quick working week. Ive got a long weekend ahead.Oh and also, a nice windfall to see me through to my later years, ta.
I'm not fussed about birds, in either sense.
Do you think it's true that they evolved from dinosaurs? There are definite similarities.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)
 a woman on my street has just got a basset
	a woman on my street has just got a bassetnow they are stupid looking things. it can't sniff without its ears trailing all over the wet muddy street and its eyes are more red than brown.
still cute though.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)
 One of the most inbred breeds of dog. Almost as bad as Cheshire gingers.
	One of the most inbred breeds of dog. Almost as bad as Cheshire gingers. (, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)
 there is a beagle crossbreed that is called a bagel hound, that might be half basset, half beagle
	there is a beagle crossbreed that is called a bagel hound, that might be half basset, half beaglea bagel hound. love it.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
 My sister's got a beagle (not a euphemism) and without a shadow of a doubt it is the stupidest dog that ever lived.
	My sister's got a beagle (not a euphemism) and without a shadow of a doubt it is the stupidest dog that ever lived.(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)
 You really are a delight to behold.
	You really are a delight to behold.You are the poster boy for small man syndrome.
I will live way past 40 and you will still be a bitter, sneering, tiny internet troll.
Lovely.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
 I'm not a troll. Thankfully I'm also not a sodomite with a revolting sexual  taste that's unnatural.
	I'm not a troll. Thankfully I'm also not a sodomite with a revolting sexual  taste that's unnatural. (, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)
 So you're just this much of a "cunt" naturally eh?
	So you're just this much of a "cunt" naturally eh? Shame nobody takes anything you say seriously.
Must be a bit of a bastard having everyone look down on you.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)
 there's a nice pub in warley, near where my grandma used to live
	there's a nice pub in warley, near where my grandma used to livethey had rabbits and sheep and chickens in the garden for the children to look at whilst their parents were doing that lingering over coffee thing that kids hate ("the blabbering" my brother and i used to call it).
then they got 4 baby geese. they were so fluffy and cute. until the next time we went a few weeks later, when they'd mutated into angry teenage geese, all honky and hissy and furious.
alt: a big diet coke and a whole grain, brown rice vegetable burrito with spicy salsa and jalapenos. and benedict cumberbatch's phone number on the wrapper.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)
 Sporters
	SportersI was reading about PoundPub that will be opening in your neck of the woods soon.
6 pints for 9 quid. Barg!
If it works in Stockton on Tees then they're going to try and roll it out nationally.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:04, Reply)
 that's more than a pound a pint
	that's more than a pound a pintsurely it should be the PoundFiftyPub
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)
 not in my student union
	not in my student unioni went to university in london, it was £4 a feckin pint
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
 scouts honour
	scouts honourwe never ever went there. we went to the ULU one instead.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:14, Reply)
 That would have been more expensive than West End pubs.
	That would have been more expensive than West End pubs.  How long ago was it?
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:17, Reply)
 a long time ago
	a long time agowe couldn't believe it either. it was cheaper in our local by waterloo, which was about £3 at the time. i think the problem was that they let outside punters in, so it wasn't just a student union, it was a massive money making scheme for the university.
i was properly gutted when i saw my mates' union bars at other universities. they had things like pool tables and £1 pints and people actually went there. ours sucked.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
 It'll be the only thing working in Stockton
	It'll be the only thing working in StocktonI went out with a bird from there once. FILTHY
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
 She turned into some kind of sex vampire if you gave her red wine
	She turned into some kind of sex vampire if you gave her red wineShe drank a lot of red wine
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)
 I went out with a woman like that.
	I went out with a woman like that.  Couple of glasses of red and it was on. I remember being more aware than I ever had been of pub bins.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:15, Reply)
 Good morning all
	Good morning allGeese are strange -one was asleep on my front lawn a couple of weeks ago - fucker hissed at me when I tried to shift it.
Alt: A reason not to drive to Sheffield - today's meeting will be annoying as the client can't decide whether to spend - wait for it - 6.5k or 10k FFS. I've spent less time and had less grief over 250k deals.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)
 I've spent less time and had less grief over USD200m deals.
	I've spent less time and had less grief over USD200m deals.  Your move.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)
 I'll be glad when we don't have to look after the 'office' based machines
	I'll be glad when we don't have to look after the 'office' based machinesMuch prefer the industrial ones.
So, what do you do that's $200m?
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:16, Reply)
 Banking numbers tend to be huge
	Banking numbers tend to be hugeWouldn't like to insure the fuckers
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:21, Reply)
 I dunno, it doesn't sound too bad - in the pub by eleven most days, blind eyes turned to your massive coke habit, etc. etc.
	I dunno, it doesn't sound too bad - in the pub by eleven most days, blind eyes turned to your massive coke habit, etc. etc.(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
 i've spent the last 2 days negotiating something unbelievably tricky
	i've spent the last 2 days negotiating something unbelievably trickytrying to get the council to set up a direct debit for my council tax. the most complex and difficult thing i've ever done, it would seem. fucking stupid councils.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:16, Reply)
 Ah councils....
	Ah councils.......Fuckwits, the lot of 'em. They'll spend £10 to save 50p and then trumpet their 'massive savings' from the rooftops.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:19, Reply)
 When I moved into my flat I rang the council to register for council tax
	When I moved into my flat I rang the council to register for council taxThey told me my flat didn't exist but I could pay anyway. I declined and next day I had a red bill from them
CUNTS
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:20, Reply)
 They've sent collectors to my gaff for three people who haven't lived here for at least three years to my certain knowledge
	They've sent collectors to my gaff for three people who haven't lived here for at least three years to my certain knowledgeWouldn't accept the council's OWN documentation that I was the resident. Different departments = different procedures = clusterfuck.
(, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 9:23, Reply)
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