Quiet in here innit
Alt: Why are you so shit?

Altalt: Oh, you reckon you're not shit, eh? Go on then, let's hear it, what's so good about you?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:46, 154 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Jimmy 'The Beast' Savile turned you down as his 501st victim because you were so hideous, and too disabled and autistic even for him, and you still are.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:47, Reply)

4EVA ALONE :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:48, Reply)

Bin werkin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:48, Reply)

Osama's scouse cousin^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:48, Reply)

Not been working on your material then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:49, Reply)

he's been working as hard as he can, but you can only piss with the cock you've got

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:50, Reply)

Not into knitting soz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:51, Reply)

I blame my parents.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Do you think you might've been less of a prick if they had liked you more?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:50, Reply)

liked you more drowned you at birth
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:51, Reply)

Yes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

I blame vagabonds parents

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:51, Reply)

Pricks.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Cunts.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

Did they nonce you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

my hazy brain films make my eyes rain
faceless beasts waggling lollipops
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Alt: I think it's down to not living to my full potential, fear of failure and lack of confidence.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:51, Reply)

And you think this might be down to Vag's parents?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Yes, I believe it is

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Are you talking about swipe?
Cos I reckon you could do better as well
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:52, Reply)

She's just a rebound shag after he got dumped by that copper

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

Copper to copper top

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2295181
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

Things are looking up already

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:56, Reply)

As long as we have mince's intelligence, wit and good looks, things will be alright

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Copper to Lawyer, I'm going for Judge Judy next.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:55, Reply)

dy les
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:59, Reply)

Real name: Julius O'Riordan
wot a cunt
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:01, Reply)

Because I'm a lazy cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Get a job, layabout.
/ac
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Anger requires motivation and effort
Pick one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:11, Reply)

Morning team.
I'm rather lovely I am. Just finished night call out, had a total of three punters, which was good.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:10, Reply)

How many died?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:11, Reply)

3

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:12, Reply)

There is only one that I would have liked to die IYKWITAAITYD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Alright frog.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:15, Reply)

HIYA!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Youre fucking chipper

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

Always am, winning at life here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:20, Reply)

None actually.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:14, Reply)

You're going to have to pick your game up if you want to catch up with Shipman.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

Best of the lot, though Mengele was better

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:20, Reply)

p ers c
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:12, Reply)

tggi

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:13, Reply)

i'm not shit
i'm rather good

altalt: i can make my fingers do that floppy at the end thing, but frog says it isn't really a thing and everyone's fingers can do it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:12, Reply)

it isn't really a thing, everyone's fingers can do it

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:30, Reply)

I can't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:31, Reply)

it is a unique thing
he is just jealous
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:32, Reply)

I can, and I'm better at it too

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:33, Reply)

Oooooh, I can answer this one
But as is the case with anyone's personal problems it's only of interest to me and people who're paid to investigate my headwrong.

Right now I am bricking it over my exam tomorrow
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:12, Reply)

Rectal?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:18, Reply)

I wish
European History, 1400-1900

Not ALL of it, obvs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

Rectal would have been much wider

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Played
*applauds politely*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Five hours isn't a lot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Pretty sure this 'joke' was done last time you mentioned this.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Haha :-)
Yeah but it's liveblogging. Ugh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Alt: I drink too much
altalt: unlike some angry cunts I can hold my beer, though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

Morning all
I have had NO sleep due to ill gay dog AGAIN.

I may die
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Also, I'm fucking lovely, me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:24, Reply)

can't you run over it and get another that works properly?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:29, Reply)

run bum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:33, Reply)

If he does it again tonight I will do
I've had 5 hours sleep in 3 days
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:34, Reply)

Why can't your wife help?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:00, Reply)

She's a lazy cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:11, Reply)

put the puking, shitting dog in her bed, lock the door, sleep on the sofa

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:17, Reply)

Oh, man.
Work is killing me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:38, Reply)

Dammit
I've got an accumulator on massive drugs killing you, and others
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:41, Reply)

I have nearly a thousand e-mails.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:23, Reply)

I just tried the canteen's "Ultimate" wrap
sausage, bacon, egg, cheese, hash brown in a wrap.

S'alright. I can put brown sauce on a bap though, this not so much.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Oh man
I want that

You all finished with your Half Man Half Biscuit-a-thon?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Don't tempt me

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:02, Reply)

I'm less tempted than swipe at a Texan BBQ restaurant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:03, Reply)

All you can meat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Just seen a job advertised which says 'candidates should see their work as an expression of their Christian faith'.
I don't think I'll apply.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:53, Reply)

Probably for the best

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Got to be discriminatory hasn't it?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Depends what the job is, I suppose
Sounds it though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

You don't really come over as the missionary type

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:59, Reply)

I came over YM in a missionary type position last night

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:12, Reply)

On your knees praying for mercy?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

I see my work as an expression of my Christian faith.
I express my complete lack of it all the time.
( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:00, Reply)

The guy who got the job over me has emailed me on his first day asking for my advice
Took me 187 words to write a polite, non incriminatory, fuck off you're on your own.
( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Not his fault he interviews better than you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Thats why I wrote it in 187 words instead of 2

( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Maybe he was reaching out, showing that despite your failure to get the job he values your experience and would rather work with you than against you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:02, Reply)

No-one is working against anyone.
I have my job and he has his. I'm going to get on with my completely unrelated job and leave him too it.
( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:03, Reply)

You don't really sound like a team player peej
That might be a good development point for you and would look good at your next interview
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Sorry maybe I haven't made it totally clear. We work for different companies
I have a different employer. He got the job despite me being better qualified. I'm guessing he has been told by his new boss to email me. It's not his fault but I'm not even employed by the same company much less on the same team.
( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Fair enough,
I think it might be worthwhile adding "clarity of communication" to your development goals, so as to avoid this sort of mix up in the future
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Hahahaha.
I like this.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:24, Reply)

If i had time I'd do a whole thread dedicated to career advice for these losers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:26, Reply)

would it start with
wear pink trousers and cultivate a quiff?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

Just do one for me then, cheers.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

^ budgie trainer ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:28, Reply)

*budgie selfies*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:28, Reply)

Budgie smugglers.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:29, Reply)

he's going to wear those for you at the weekend
JUST FOR YOU
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:34, Reply)

I think I have to postpone Sunday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:35, Reply)

Oh man I polished my glans specially :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:36, Reply)

WTF?
Why would his boss tell him to email you?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:19, Reply)

Sounds lol office politics. I really try not to get involved in that shite.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

THEY DON'T WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:28, Reply)

ffs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:28, Reply)

Completely non-related different fucking office politics

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:29, Reply)

How was your holiday?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:30, Reply)

i think he saw a lot of tumbleweed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:57, Reply)

Brilliant thanks.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 11:02, Reply)

I'm guessing
and it is just a guess, that he employed someone he knew rather than someone who knows the system inside out. I made it quite clear in both my application and interview that I could do it with my eyes closed. It seems that on his first day the guy has hit some hurdles and his boss has gone "Hmmm that Peej guy knew how to do that, I've got his email here why don't you ask him" But then bosses are weird aren't they, they think they're everyones boss whether you work for them or not.
( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:35, Reply)

Crazy foo'

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:37, Reply)

I used to really like that Nakers guy

( Peej, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:37, Reply)

I'm not sure this kind of attitude is really what we're looking for
What I'm going to do is suggest that we put you on performance review, with weekly catch ups on how you're doing. then in a month we can reassess the situation.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Will someone please start a new thread?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:40, Reply)

*rummages through 80's power pop records*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Tyre chat anyone?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:41, Reply)

*Transvision Vamps*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:44, Reply)

*doesnt care*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:49, Reply)