I've not had one fucking Fathers day lie in the last 7 fathers days
And one year the bloody forgot!
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:12, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm hoping for one as I'll not be in until about 2am

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:12, Reply)

One year the wife crawled out of bed a 11.30 (i'd been up with the kids since 6)
After an hour I said "You know its Fathers day right?" she said "Shit, we had better go to Tesco" she went in picked up some shit bottle of brandy and then drove to her dads house. It took another 2 hours for it to dawn on her that I have two daughters.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:15, Reply)

I take it you did the same on Mothers Day

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Nope
She get two cards, one from each kid, no single card cop out bollocks there. THen she gets a lie in, breakfast in bed. Flowers, Chocolates and whiskey. Oh and I do all the housework.

Every year I hope this will show her how its done. Every year it doesn't!
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:17, Reply)

I believe the correct term is
FUCK THAT SHIT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Next year she's getting my dick in a box.

( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:19, Reply)

It sounds like she already has one of those

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:20, Reply)

She's certainly got his balls in her handbag

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

x ok
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

That would mark

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

Might add a bit of spine to it though

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Leaf it
Its hard for him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:23, Reply)

Might be the only way a (pre)face gets on it though

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:27, Reply)

maybe the problem is that the same gifts every year is lacking in imagination?
put some effort in, man.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:26, Reply)

I don't get her the same shit every year
I got her an iPad last year so fack off ranga
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:29, Reply)

READ YOUR POST (emphasis added)
She get two cards, one from each kid, no single card cop out bollocks there. THen she gets a lie in, breakfast in bed. Flowers, Chocolates and whiskey. Oh and I do all the housework.

Every year
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Every year was part of a new sentence
How did such a fucking idiot become a lawyer?
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:34, Reply)

the present tense and the fact that you don't refer to a specific year lead the court to construct that you buy the same tired old shit every year
verdict:

GUILTY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:57, Reply)

What the fuck would you know about mothers day?
You'll never receive a mothers day gift. They're not from me are they! Its my mum I buy the same tired old shit for.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:00, Reply)

i'm certainly glad i'll never receive one chosen by you
yours sound shit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:14, Reply)

You have no idea what I get my mum
I have never told you.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:18, Reply)

it can't be worse than chocolates and whiskey

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Depends if you like chocolates and whiskey really
If someone gave me Chocolates and whiskey I wouldn't be an ungrateful bitch.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:20, Reply)

unless they had one direction on the box?!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:25, Reply)

I'd drink One Direction whiskey
Its just crappy pop
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:32, Reply)

if you bought me chocolates and whiskey
i'd let you drink the whiskey for me. i'm nice like that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I'm not buying you anything
you're a meanie
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:37, Reply)

It's no wonder his wife hates him so much

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:29, Reply)

i thought we all knew that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:32, Reply)

And did she then go
"Oh, you're the father of my children. Right."

And then sulk for the rest of the afternoon?
( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:17, Reply)

No, she gave the brandy to the father of her children

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:18, Reply)

and cousin

( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Something like that

( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Poor Peej

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:19, Reply)

If it's any comfort, though
Father's Day is kind of a pointless bag of shit nothing day.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:20, Reply)

^ no kids or dad

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

And long may it continue.

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

\o/ its the sensible way to live

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:22, Reply)

I think you should give the old fella a call on Sunday
Try to patch things up a bit, yeah?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:23, Reply)

You know what? I probably will. Thanks m8.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:25, Reply)

I bottle would be nice though

( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:22, Reply)

I had to give my eldest some money so he can pick a shit present, to wrap at school for me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:13, Reply)

my dad has bought his own present
and thinks i'm going to pay for it.

i don't think he understands how presents work.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:27, Reply)

At least he's got what he wanted.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:29, Reply)

His daughter 200 miles away?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:30, Reply)

*nose/point*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:31, Reply)

He said you have to pay your debts first before buying him a present.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:30, Reply)

you need to remind me of these things!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:31, Reply)

I have done regularly since the 5th May.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Well he buys everything else for you, why should you pay for his presents as well?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

i wish he did
he has always had this thing about me having a job.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 13:27, Reply)